01x12 - Slugfest/Duck Dodgers Jr./Duck Trek

[bunniefuu]

If you're lucky, it's Plucky. I'm

absolutely Ducky. Other shows seem yucky

now that Plucky's on the air. I'm wacky.

I'm quacky. He's an egomaniac-y.

Hampton plays the lucky of this duck

extraordinaire. Who knows?The way to

close his endless babbling beak. Drop an

ankle down upon his feathery physique.

Toast him. Roast him. The show will still

be most him. It's the Pocky Duck Show and

it's on each week. His antics are

frantic, at times he gets romantic. My

talent's so gigantic, it'll burst from

your TV. The writers are hackers, the

artists always hackers. The actors are

yackers. But don't complain, it's free.

Clarky goes to Acme Lune to learn to be a

star. There are other tootsters at the

school. But who cares who they are?So

enjoy, don't be coy, and don't fall for a

decoy. It's the Pocky Duck Show, come and

laugh alone. I also

wrote this song.

Hi, Plucky. Mind if I come in?

Come on, you're just in time to watch my

favorite show. And now, back to

immature radioactive samurai

slugs. We're immature,

radioactive, samurai slugs. We love

to thrash criminals and slice and dice

th*gs. We're totally radical, gnarly

dudes. Cowabunga homeboys with

nothing to lose. Our large enemies

want to psyodize, but they can't

beat us 'cause we're merchandise.

Destroy them. Count

off Yukasa. Warhawk. Rockwell. Rutland

Moses. So kick back 'tweens 'til the end

of our ride. The show's gonna start and

it's time to slime. Yeah, all right. Hey,

Cowabunga. Hey, do you

watch this show often?Watch it?

I'm president of the immature radioactive

Samurai Slugs Fan Club. Look at the neat

stuff I bought from him. A Samurai Slug

T-shirt, baseball cap, and a two-way

wrist slug. Gee, what does it

do?Nothing. But it only costs



could only be a samurai slug.

Now you can own your very own samurai

slug costume made out of rugged paper

mache. Be the first rad kid on your block

to dress like a slimy, worm-like mollusk.

Just send 29.95 to Drooling Fanboy

Productions today. Did you hear that?It's

just what we need to be real samurai

slugs. Quick, do you have any money?No,

I'm broke. Say, why don't we become

samurais the way the slugs did on TV?

Why, sure. Why didn't I think of that

before?

Oh, still. Unless you want to become a

pincushion. Gee, Plucky, these costumes

don't look much like the real ones.

That's 'cause you're not wearing the

samurai mask. Hey,

I can't see a pig. Wait a second. I'll

tighten it.

Now all you need is the proper smear.

How's this?Just

perfect.

Someone's in trouble. Ready to rumble,

Sherwin-Williams?Uh,

bunk-a-cala, Earl-shythe. Quick, to

the slutmobile!

Chill out, babe! The slugs are here!

Yeah, just liberal. Or is that

radical?Get out of here, you

sluggy-wuggies! I hate

funny things!

Giant sluggy-wuggies! Chill out.

Get a life! Go for it.

Come back here, you achy slug! I

wanna squish you!

Quick, in here!

I think we're safe now, pal. And now,

kiddies, it's time for the Samurai Slug

Action Spectacular!

What are we going to do?What else?Find'em!

Oh, no! It's the iodizer!

The samurai slugs, my

archenemies! No! You got it all wrong,

pal. We're not real samurai

slugs. We're just pretending. Yeah,

I'm really a pig. Very

funny. And I'm not really the

Iodizer. My friends call

me Salty Pete.

Wait, let's get out of these suits. Oh,

where's the zipper on these things?

Zipper?Darn it, I knew I forgot

something. Come

back here! No slug escapes the iodizer!

I tell you, you got the wrong guys!

Destroy you!

I think we lost them. I think we

lost ourselves. Where are we?

Now I will destroy you.

This looks like the end. Who could

possibly save us now?We could!

HuhGasp! Oh, no. It's the

League of Icky-Crawly Things! Look!

It's Sergeant Roach and his c*ck

Commandos! Uh Sound off, you

maggots! Captain Hookworm and Long

John Silverfish, Superfly,

Gung Beetle Bailey, Archie

Leech! Judy, Judy, Judy!

And look, the lowest life form of

all, a TV executive!

I just don't know until I see theratings.

Charge! Retreat!

Now, where was I?Oh, yes.

Destroy you!

You can't escape me.

Now I've got you destroying.

Oh, darn it. We're at a salt lick.

For those of you raised in the city, a

salt lick is a large block of salt that

animals lick to replenish body minerals

and avoid dehydration. Ahem.

Like I said, we're out of

salt lick. Hi, Aunt. There's the one

right over there.

Hey, get away. Stop that. Leave me alone,

pal. Get away from me.

Come on,

Smitty. See you in Salt Lake City.

I never want to go through that again,

but I did learn a valuable borrow. Well,

sure. I know. A slug in the hand is worth

two in the bush. Or maybe

leave sleeping slugs lie. A

rolling slug gathers no moss.

It gathers no moss. Actually,

the moral is just say no to

slugs.

This is the future. In some

ways, the year 2350 is quite a bit

different from our world today. And yet

there are things that time cannot

change, such as the need for

great heroes. And in the future, there

is no hero greater than...

Duck Dodgers of the 24th and a half

century! Ohh You're my hero. I'm so glad

you let me go on a mission with you. To

think that I, me, am going to be Duck

Dodgers' eager young space cadet. You

won't be sorry. You'll see. I'll sign

your space books. I'll wash and wax your

rocket. I'll mix your powdered breakfast

drinks. All right, already. Knock it off.

How eager can you get?

Let's go. They're waiting for us at

headquarters.

Uh, good of you to come, Dodgers.

We're facing a crisis. Planets,

rockets, stars, objects of every

sort are all disappearing without a

trace. We believe we have located the

source of our problem somewhere on the

planet Mars. It's possible they

have built a matter transmogrifier and

are using it to suck up the entire

universe. A machine that can suck up

things without a trace?Oh, come now.

That's impossible. Yeah, it's impossible.

OK, OK, so it's possible. I

don't know how they do it in other

galaxies, but around here we don't go

around sucking up other people's

universes, or my name isn't Duck

Dodgers of the 24th and a Half

Century. And here's is your young space

to look plucky.

Eager young elementary school educated

sidekick.

Now let's survey the situation, shall we?

Let's shal, Dee Dee, let's shal. Hmm,

I don't see anything. Just a few rocks,

some craters, a matter transmogrifier, a

matter transmogrifier?!

Suffering succotash it is!

Ah, another successful

transformation. Yes. Isn't that

lovely, Marsha?

Yeah, it's real gone, Daddy-O. It's

just what I needed. So,

that's their little game, is it?When will

that Martian ever learn that the universe

is not his play thing?Right, it's not

his play thing. This calls for a

full-frontal as*ault. But DD, old hero

of mine, that machine of theirs is mighty

dangerous. Yes, but their machine is

no match for my acne combat pack.

Observe.

On second thought, maybe it'd be better

if I'd been stripped for action. After

all, I am none other than... The

Dodgers of the 24th and a half

century Uh, did not

forget it.

Now he's really done it. He's got my

dander up. You can bet your life this is

not going to go unchallenged.

I, Duck Dodgers, hereby

challenge you to one-on-one combat on

the field of honor at dawn. What do you

say?

You got it, Charlie.

That a boy, Dee Dee. Thought I'm a good

one, boy. Yeah, let him have it. Pop a

one in the beach. What are you waiting

for?Go on, mash him in the mush. Paste

him in the pan, why don't you?Pop him in

the pan. Basket. Belt them in the

Lupanza. All right, all rightJust give

me a chance, will you?Sheesh. Anyways,

this is grown-up work. So you kids scram,

huhYes. Do please occupy

yourselves in some manner, hmm

Boy, how do you like that?I come over 100

million miles, and I don't even get to

stick around for the fray. We should make

the best of it. Let's go play.

Oh, all right. Lead the way.

Now, where were we?Oh, yeah. The

challenge. It's wrestling. Two falls out

of three. We play the mark with the

Frontleroy rules. No kicking, no

hitting below the belt, no biting, no

scratching, no stomping, no

choking, no injury to the eye, and

no fair pulling that old gag about my

shoelaces being untied.

You didn't say I couldn't zap you.

Oh, you little stinker!

Wait'll I get my hands on you?

Yes, there will always be a place for

heroes like Duck Dodgers of the



Huh

Does anybody want to buy a slightly used

universe?

Come on! Duck Trek's playing in Theater



Hey, you two! There's no theater

hopping!

Please deposit all trash and

receptacles provided in the lobby. Ah

Well, you see this film. It's

superlative. It's smashing. It's

supendous. It's it's thawing.

Space. The big parking garage.

These are the voyages of the Starship

Acme. It's six-minute mission

to explore strange new worlds, to

seek out new life and new civilizations,

to boldly go where no duck has gone

before!

Hello, cult heroes. We are fast

approaching the planet Follicle 4, where

we have been ordered to pick up a special

top-secret material. A new rocket

fuel?A new miracle serum?No, a

new toupee. This one's all stringy.

Prepare to beam down. Someday you'll

have to explain how this thing works, Mr.

Spork. How it works?Why, it's so simple.

A child could do it. I'm

only 3 1/2 years old.

Yes, sir. Modern science never ceases to

amaze me.

Logically, we could cover more ground if

we split up. Man, I've got it. We'll

cover more ground if we split up.

Spork, Doc, you come with me. You

extras wander off that way and disappear.

It appears to be heratonic, Captain.

They're greased, Jim.

Last one holds an hors d'oeuvre. What do

you make of it, Spoff?If I understand him

correctly, he claims to be the ruler of

this planet. Chemie crew, I'll handle

this.

Greetings, peaceful inhabitant. We

mean you no harm. We come

in peace. We realize you

are an intelligent being, capable of

rational thought and compassionate

feelings. Retreat!

Fascinating.

Stand back, men. I'll waste him with my

secret weapon.

Like I said, I'll have to waste him with

my secret weapon.

What gives?I set this thing on gale

force. It

didn't happen that way in rehearsal.

Dr. Fur, what'll we do?Darn it,

Jim. I'm a doctor, not a barber. This is

indeed unfortunate. I'm getting a tad

worried, Spark. Do something!

Certainly, Captain. But have you ever

considered how many really serious hair

problems there are to worry about?Split

ends, for instance. Not to mention

dandruff, flaking, and the heart break of

psoriasis. And have you ever seen anyone

with a really good home tournament?And

what is jojoba?And will your friends

laugh because you use baby shampoo?

Smoking, Smork. The planet is actually

worrying itself. Bald. Keep it up. Keep

it up.

Who loves you, baby?

Well, Captain Quirk, we escaped with our

lives, but I'm afraid your mission was a

failure. Yes, but don't let it

get you down, Jim. What's the matter, Doc?

Afraid I'm going to. Flip my wig.

It's your living.