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01x03 - Minister Golf/Particle Man/Istanbul/My Brilliant Revenge!

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Plucky Duck Show". Aired: September 19, 1992 – February 12, 1999.*
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A short-lived spin-off of Tiny Toon Adventures concentrating attention mainly on Plucky Duck himself.

01x03 - Minister Golf/Particle Man/Istanbul/My Brilliant Revenge!

Post by bunniefuu »

You're lucky. It's Plucky. I'm absolutely

ducky. Other shows seem yucky now that

Plucky's on the air. I'm wacky. I'm

quacky. He's an egomaniac-y. Hampton

plays the lucky of this stuff

extraordinaire. Who knows the way to

close his endless babbling beak?Drop an

angle down upon his feathery physique.

Toast him. Roast him. The show will still

be boasting. It's the Pucky Duck Show and

it's on each week His antics are

frantic At times he gets romantic My

talent's so gigantic It'll burst from

your TV The writers are hackers The

artists all with crackers The actors are

yackers But don't complain, it's free

Rocky goes to Acme Lune to learn to be a

star There are other tootsters at the

school But who cares who they are?So

enjoy, don't be coy And don't fall for a

decoy It's the Pucky Duck Show, come and

laugh aloneI also

wrote this song. Ah,

I remember my very first time on the

lynx. Never say lynx in the presence of

a pig. Oh. Sorry, Hemi.

Ah, those were the good old days.

Just me and my dad.

So, Plucky, are you all set to play

miniature golf?Yes, I want to play

miniature golf.

Miniature golf?It's fine.

Mr. Ghost. Want to hit the ball down the

hole. All right, then. Here's

your putter and here's your ball. No

red. Want blue. Don't want red ball.

Want blue ball. OK, OKHang

on. Don't want red ball, want blue ball.

Don't want red ball, want blue ball. Blue

ball. Not red-blue. I don't want blue

ball. Blue ball, blue, blue, blue.

Want blue. Eat your heart out!

Plucky, Plucky, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Calm down, calm down. Here, look, look

There's a blue ball. Huh

Blue ball. My blue ball.

It's blue! It's not red,

it's blue. My blue ball.

I'm happy that you're happy, son. Come

on, let's go play. I wanna play Minister

Golf. I wanna hit the blue

ball down the hole.

Okay, son, here's the basic idea.

You place the ball here, stand

over it like so, swing the

putter, and hit it. It goes down the

ramp, into the candy house,

loops down the slide,Rolls across

the green and into the hole.

Hey, a hole in one! Hole in

one! Exactly.

Now it's your turn. It's my turn.

I hit the blue ball down the hole.

HuhGet set, go! I hit it!

I hit the ball! Good, son.

Now hit it again.

I hit it again.

And again.

And again.

Daddy is helicopter.

Where?I hit it again.

One hit the ball down the hole.

No, No noYou have to hit it harder, son.

Harder. Harder still.

No, hit it really hard.

I hit it hard! I hit it hard! I hit

it hard!

Go lead one. Nice shot,

son. All

right, Plucky, watch closely now.

Darn it, I missed. Okay, kiddo,

your turn. Mark, get set,

go. Darn it, I missed.

Darn it, I missed. Darn it, I missed.

Darn it, I missed. Darn it, I

missed. Look, Daddy, it's

blimp. Where?I hit

it again!

Now aim carefully, Plucky. I hit it

hard. No! Stop! Uh

Okay, son. Now hit it.

Rupaku down the hall! Rupaku down the

hall! Congratulations,

son. You're going to be an only child.

Now, if you don't swing at just the right

time, Pluggy, those barrels will knock

your ball away from the hole.

See?Yes, sir. Okay,

you try. Look,

Daddy, rocket ship.

Oh, no, I'm not falling for that again.

just hit the ball. Yes, sir.

Mark, that's it. Go.

Lucky, you did it! A hole in one! I

did it! Hole in one!

I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!

My blue ball go down the hole.

Nice job. Now it's my turn.

Daddy, you hit the ball down the

hole. Hole in one,

Daddy. I knew I should

have entered the praise-hood.

All right, this is the last hole, Plucky.

Thank heavens.

But on this hole, son, the ball doesn't

come back. Ball no come back?

Nope, it doesn't come back. So say

bye-bye to the nice ball.

Bye-bye. It's over, son. All

done. We gotta go. So say bye-bye.

Bye-bye, ball. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye, ball. My blue

ball.

My blue ball went down the hall.

Mark, that's it. Go. Ah

Let's go home, Plucky.

Stop right there, because you are the

winner of our super grand prize,



miniature golf. I did it! Yeah!

I did it!

My blue ball came back!

Ah, those were the days.

Okay, Mr. Flashback. You're up. Sink

this putt and you win the match. Oh,

right. Hey, look, guys!

Isn't that Julia Roberts?

My ball go down the hole.

He's underwater, does he get wet?Or does

the water get him instead?Nobody

knows, Spartacle Man.

Triangle Man, Triangle Man,

Triangle Man hates Spartacle Man. They

have a fight, Triangle wings, Triangle

Man.

Universe man, universe man.

Size of the entire universe man.

Usually kind to smaller man.

Universe man. He's got a watch with a

millennium hand. Millennium hand and it's

a brown hand. And when they beat, it's a

happy land. Powerful man,

universe man.

Person man, person man. Hit on the

head with a frying pan. He lives his

life in a garbage can Person man

Is he depressed or is he a mess Does

he feel totally worthless Who came

up with Person man Degraded man

Person man

Triangle man, triangle man,

triangle man hates furs and men. They

ever fight, triangle wins, triangle

man.

Istanbul was Constantinople. Now it's

Istanbul. Now Constantinople been a long

time gone. Constantinople now it's

Turkish daylight on a moon at night.

Every gal in Constantinople lives in

Istanbul. Now Constantinopes so humid.

And Constantinopes should be waiting in

Istanbul. Even old New

York was once New Amsterdam.

Why they change it I can't say. People

just like it better that way. So take me

back to Constantinople No you can't go

back to Constantinople. Been a long time

On Constantinople Why did Constantinople

get the works?That's do, what is this

about the Turks?

Istanbul Istanbul

Istanbul Even old New

York Was once New Amsterdam

Why they changed it, I can't say. You

just liked it better that way.

Constantinople, it's Constantinople. Now

it's Istantinople, my Constantinople.

Constantinople

get the works.

That's nobody's business above the

Turks

Istanbul

Oh,

unbridled excitement. This is it.

Today, the grand finals here on

Swine Search. The moment of truth

for those of you that have been watching

all year. That would be

me. Now, let's speak to our two

finalists in the model/spokespig

category. Oh, joy, oh,

rapture.

Lucky, if you don't mind, I'm trying to

watch the most crucial television event

of my life. Will you please keep it down?

You mean you don't want me to get into

the acne all-bagpipe band?It's not that.

You want me to stop practicing and suffer

the burden of mediocrity?Of course not. I

just-- You want me to ignore the money I

spent on this rental?

Ah, never mind.

Some pigs have no appreciation ofculture.

Now we move on to our singing

competition. Who won

model/spokespig?I missed it.

Oh, darn, darn, triple darn.

One, two, three, and...

Lucky, please! That sound is so

annoying. Keep it down, please! You know,

it's awfully hard to practice with you

jumping around like that.

I've waited all year for this.

Well, at least I haven't missed the grand

prize winner. Good night,

everybody!

I missed it. I've waited a whole year to

see this, and I missed it.

Plucky!

I hate that I...

Alas, poor bagpipe.

I knew you well.

So help me, Hampton Jay Pig,

I'll get revenge.

Doesn't like bagpipes, huh

Nothing can soil my brilliant

reasons.

If you don't like bagpipes now, honey,

just wait an hour.

Lucky, meet me at the park, Hampton.

Uh-huhSo he wants a showdown, a

duel, a grudge match, a provoked

altercation. Well, what have I got to

lose?I've still got my brilliant

revenge.

Ladies and gentlemen, in this

corner, the challenger, Plucky

Duck.

Not in this here corner, Hampton J.

Pig.

All right, Hampton, I'll give you a

chance. Take your best shot.

All right.

I apologize.

You were right. What I did was wrong.

I'm sorry. Here, I got you new

bagpipes. Umm

That's not fair. You can't

apologize. I'm still

angry.

Don't make me right! I don't want to be

right! Of course I am right.

But I want to be mad!

I want my brilliant revenge!

Oh, no! My brilliant revenge!

Hampton, no!

Get away from

my chair. I'm

I'm OK, really.

Lucky, are you all right?Speak to me.

So, call me Cubist. I accept your

apology, Hampton, but I'm the

sorry one. I'm I'm sorry I made you miss

your favorite show. Ohh That's

okay. I taped it anyway.