04x03 - "The Vicar of Dibley" The Handsome Stranger

[bunniefuu]

"Pastor in heels."
part 1. p.t. "The Handsome Stranger"

Welcome to YouTube and Polish translations
of interviews with Richard Armitage:

my channel: Justyna240266

And I have the last two boxes left.



and 10 pence in the second.

And the banker
he offered me 100,000 pounds,

and not-not-not-not-not-not-not-not...

Noel Edmonds...
he asked me a question,

"Are you in or out?"

Well, I wanted to come in,
so I said,

"No... no...

...no-no-Noel, I'm coming in. "

But because of it,
that I don't understand.

they thought no, no, no...

...no, I'm not going in.

- What was in your box?
- Ten pence.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Any other business?
- Actually, yes.

I was pissed off by the news,
that the Senna Chatka has been sold

another
to a fugitive from London.

I think if it goes on like this, Dibley's gonna go on like this...
will become a ghost town, and then...

- Who are we gonna call?
- Ghostbusters!

First of all, I'd like to know,
who's a selfish, greedy b*stard,

"I don't care about our community."
sold the Senna Chatka.

Father. For half a million quid,
don't you, Father?

- Yeah, that's right. That's right.
- My blood's boiling.

Yeah, take him, big guy.

For my rebuilt barn.
I only got 80 grand. Why would you do that?

That's probably why,
that you turned it into a slaughterhouse.

- You know what bothers me the most?
- Finally, something stimulating.

Stop it, Owen.

This place is now so overloaded
absent townsmen,

that there's absolutely nothing going on here.

You forgot about Thursday's fights.
...roosters. And "Bring your bucket."

And the grass hockey championship.

Look every Tuesday,
who's gonna throw up next.

"Bring your bucket."

Yeah, these parties are cute,

but the time has come for us to...
they've taken care of something new.

I've decided that I'm going to drive
an art course and a book club.

Would anyone be interested?

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Come on, hotheads.
Anyone else have any ideas?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What, what?

With such an activity...
we're gonna need a city newspaper.

Great, Hugo. The classic way
on the level of understanding between the inhabitants.

Yeah, I can see the dialogues already:
"Have you read this? What nonsense."

Shut up, David. That's what it means,
that everyone's gonna have a job to do.

- Like Owen.
- Photograph, please.

My work was posted
in several publications,

inter alia
in "Man and the Horse" magazine.

Cool, I'd love to.
to see the copy.

Unfortunately, all of them were confiscated by the police.

Okay, let's keep moving.
Jim? The guidance corner?

- Can I wear a dress?
- If you want to.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- Hugo?

- What about the important news?
- I doubt it, but you've got this job anyway.

Frank?

Can I make light, occasional series

with semantic roots
local landmarks

and the a priori impact of votes

for a land sale in the 18th century?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- David, what about you?
- I'll take the obituary column.

It's been years since nobody died in this town.

Let's not give up hope.

Okay, great, great, great.
We have a plan. Hooray.

- OK, you wanted to speak, David.
- Yeah, there's one more thing.

I brought a bottle of champagne.

Our priestess may not have noticed,

but last weekend she gave
a hundredth wedding since he's been with us.

- Oh, that's right.
- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? A hundredth?

Oh, my gosh!

So there were a hundred happy ones,
of young couples in love.

And I'm always the pastor.
Never as a bride.

Always in the cassock.

Never in a big white dress.

Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Somebody cheer her up.

I'll marry you, Miss t*ts.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

I've read this fantastic
a new Bible book.

What a fantastic, fantastic...
a new Bible book?

["Da Vinci code."

It's better than Genesis.
and all that other boring old bullshit.

It's terrible to have to tell you this, Alice,
but "Da Vinci Code" isn't a new Bible book.

- It's just a novel.
- It's such a disappointment.

I know. I know. I know.

The thought that the Catholic Church
he made you look like a horse, just like the others.

Mrs. Gullible.

You believe what they want,
to make you believe.

- And I started thinking...
- Oh, that's always disturbing.

You know that Jesus married
Maria Magdalena,

and that their ancestors are still alive today,

but their real names
are hidden in this da Vinci code?

I have a terrible feeling about this,
I know what this is all about.

You know that Mary Magdalene was
a chalice [CHALICE],

who gathered the seed of Jesus?

That's how we got here.

The code is so obvious.

What name rhymes with CHALICE?

Alice, let's get to the point.

Do you believe that you, Alice, are
the direct ancestor of Jesus?

It's hard with such hard evidence.
to draw different conclusions.

Think for yourself.
Why do I have so many kids?

Because you don't know,
how condoms work!

Because it's my sacred duty
is to populate Earth with God's children.

And the final proof.

When I first asked my mother,
who's my real father,

why she answered:

"God knows who"?

- Listen, Alice...
- Don't worry, my child.

Knowing that I am a branch of Christ
is not gonna change me.

Well, that's too bad.

- And now, coming back to the real world...
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm going to the sleepy hut to visit
a new resident. Are you coming with me?

Wonderful. We're gonna welcome him
in our happy community?

No, I'll tell him I'm above my ears.
rich Londoners,

appropriating our town...
and he can get stuck in there or get the hell out of here.

Come on, girl.

And I'm gonna tell him who mine is.
great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

- Oh, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.
- That's right. That's right.

Come on, let's share the gifts of reason.
with this big-city jerk.

Actually, I'm gonna split it myself, okay?

- You have to save yours rather than yours.
- You like to tease me.

- No, seriously, you have to.
- Oh... [Chuckles]

Typical g*dd*mn c*ck guy.

Mr. Townsman doesn't deceive...

to open the door for us, the villagers.

We hate him deeply, don't we?

- We're rejecting him.
- We reject it.

And everything he brought with him.

Oh, hi.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Come in.
- Yeah, how nice.

- How wonderful this place is.
- I'm sorry about the mess.

I just moved out of it.
a big, stupid apartment in London.

It's gonna be a squeeze if I stuff it all in,

so if anything goes wrong with your eyes,
Take it away, I'll never know.

- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- No, not really.

I'm Harry, by the way.
Everything's on its head today.

Of course, I'm Geraldine.
I live at the end of the alley.

- Wonderful.
- I'm Alice.

- That's great. That's great.
- Nice to meet you.

A neighborhood visit like this
it's actually a big surprise.

For 15 years in a London apartment.
the bell didn't even move.

We had a bell like that, too.

The cables were wrongly connected.

- Harry, you've got a lot of books.
- Yeah, the whole stack.

- I love them. That's my weakness.
- Mine too.

- Don't worry about her.
- That's great. That's great. Your favorite book?

- I'm serious. Come on.
- It's complicated.

I'd hesitate,
between Jill's Gymkhan's...

- It's starting to...
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

... and "The story of the mole that knew..,
not to stick your nose in other people's business."

- We have accumulation!
- I'm afraid I don't know that.

That's great. Contemporary thriller.

Someone, and we don't know who,

he made a little mole on the head.

Oh, well, that's about sh*t.

Harry, what about your favorite books?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. More like a classic.
I love John Le Carre.

I love Birdsong.
"Jill's Gymkhana, of course.

I got you. I got you.

What about you, Geraldine?

- Oh, well, I love Jill's Gymkhan.
- I got you. I got you.

i... Um...
I actually like the Bible pretty much.

- Oh, too unbelievable for my taste.
- All right, at least fair enough.

I love Jane Austen's books. I'm thinking,
that the most "Prudent and Romantic"...

And every time a handsome stranger
he throws himself at a girl's feet,

after a few juicy fights
and a series of horrible misunderstandings.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. And that's never gonna happen to you here.
didn't happen?

No handsome stranger
didn't throw himself at your feet?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not yet. Not yet.

Well, here we go.

Yeah, that's right. That's right.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Sit down. Sit down.

You came here with some intention.
What can I do for you?

Oh, I'm sorry. Almost completely.
it just slipped my mind.

We just came,
to welcome you to the town.

All the visitors...
welcome to the womb of our womb.

That's the motto of our town.

- That's how it went, isn't it?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

And also that we're up to our necks in the nose.
you city b*stards...

... coming here,
to destroy the local community

with his self-satisfied self-satisfaction.

Yeah, that's it,

you city b*stard.

So, how'd it go?

Not bad, until both of them
we called him a b*stard.

Yeah, I definitely felt
erotic tension.

- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- She's definitely into me.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I saw him staring at you,
avoiding my eyesight. Classic.

I'm afraid I charmed him,
how I do it with all the guys.

And I stole some cool stuff. Look at this. Look at this.

- Alice!
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That doesn't count. I'm immaculate.

You'll bring it back immediately, my lady.

Except for that kettle. I'll take him.

I need a new kettle,
and this one is gorgeous.

Very exciting.

I'm announcing the first meeting
of our Art Club in Dibley.

A lot of presence.
Good to see you, David.

There was nothing on TV.

At the first meeting
we'll take care of nature.

- Bravo!
- What's with the nature?

Actually, I don't know,
I just shouted, "Bravo."

It always brings the atmosphere to life.

Hugo, he's walking.
about studying the human body.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

And here's Felicity,
our delightful model.

Sit over there, please.

You'll draw it,
and then we'll talk about it, okay?

Oh, I'm such a loser,
I forgot to take the biscuits.

bought as a reward for your
hard work. I'm gonna go home.

I'll be back in a few minutes.

Felicity,
the moment of horror has come - they're yours.

- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. I'll see you around,
- I'll see you around.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Oh, hi.

I'm just trying to find my way around
in the town. Can I follow you?

You can come with me, with me,
in front of me, next to me.

I'm sorry, I'm talking like I'm broken.

I heard a rumor,
that we have a preacher's woman here.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, we do.
- What's it like? Is she liked?

Extremely. In some circles.
they call her Wonder Woman,

- those who don't like her. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Oh, yeah? Yeah?

I'm in favour of women pastors.

There's something sexy.
in that white collar.

- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, it's kind of like with the nurses.

There's something in the uniforms,
why I can't resist.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?

Raw, pressed packaging,
...where the promise of softness lies.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. Though I have a moral tear.

It wouldn't be good if the parishioners
they were thinking about f*cking the preacher.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's probably
very nice, simple, gray-haired.

...lady, fragrant lavender.

- Well, actually...
- Actually, I should turn around here.

I promised myself,
I'm gonna make it to the hill today.

- I'll see you around.
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- I'm sorry to bother you.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

You're the only one who makes sense,
I've met in this town and...

I was wondering if you'd like to
to have dinner tonight?

O... Um...

Holy sh*t, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd love to.

- However, before...

there's something important,
that I have to tell you about.

- Your phone's ringing.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Let him answer it.
Nothing's going on.

- Hello, this is me.
- I'm just gonna stand there and wait.

Would you excuse me a moment, please?
I'm sorry, it's gonna take me a while.

Oh. Oh.

And when it comes to this important thing,
that you were going to say,

Do it tonight,
in the Eastleigh pub, remember?

- Yeah, I'm good.
- Now, if you'll excuse me.

Oh, I'm great at forgiving.

That's what my job is all about.

Yeah, that's great.

This is a date. I have a date!

Hello, guys. I'm sorry it's so late.
Something distracted me a little bit.

How'd it go?

- Thanks, great.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. How are you guys doing?

Guys?

That's great. That's great.

Okay, so it's time for the big show.

The first masterpieces of Dibley.

Watch yourself, David Hockney.
Here comes David Horton.

I'm not sure I have...

What you're saying is,
that none of you painted anything?

What kind of idiot would waste his time painting,

when he's sitting in front of him
naked girlfriend?

Well, not a very good start. Maybe
next week's gonna be better.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was £10 an hour?

Here's 20 more. Be in the neighborhood.

Okay, let's see.

I only have nine hours left!

You look lovely.

Thanks, man. I came straight from work.

- What do you do for a living?
- Well, I was just about to say...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's a terrible question.
for a start.

I should have met you first,
before I know what you're doing.

Imagine, somebody tells you,
that he's an accountant.

They don't have a very good reputation,

though they're probably gonna be between them.
some kind of captivating accountant.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to date
with an accountant who was,


all the accountants I've ever met.

- And what was he like?
- Really very dumb.

How long do you think you're gonna be
spent in town?

I'm gonna be like
an inverted weekend runner.

I understand, so you're not gonna be
in our pastor's sermons?

- I'm afraid not.
- It's a shame, because...

Actually, a hundred years ago.
I was on a date.

with a girl who was preparing herself
to the pastor's function.

- Funny you should say that because...
- I couldn't get through that collar.

I kept thinking: "No, God is watching,
and he's bigger than me."

That's what's offended me.

- Yeah, well...
- Anyway, let me guess.

I think you're a teacher.

Actually, I suppose so.

- Oh, yeah? Yeah? What kind of students are they?
- Special care.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Hi, Hugo. This is Harry.

Hugo, Harry. Hugo, Harry, Harry, Harry, Hugo.

Hello, Hugo. Nice tie.

Thanks, man.
What do you think of our pastor, Mrs. Reverend?

Actually, I didn't have
so far, the chance to meet her.

Oh, yeah, wonderful. She's staying
a mystery to all of us.

It's a shame you have to go,
It's a real shame.

That pastor must be someone.
Everyone's obsessed with her.

Oh, no, I wouldn't say that.
I know her very well.

- He's got a lot of flaws.
- Don't we all have them?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I haven't discovered any of yours yet.

Neither did I yours.

Oh, pastor. I'm David Horton,
Chairman of the town council.

You've met our pastor.
And I'm just gonna go drain the potatoes.

Excuse me, pastor.

Turning to the subject of flaws...

...of course, I'm great.
a fat liar.

So, good night... ...pastor.

Good night, potential
a member of our congregation.

- It was a wonderful evening.
- I'd invite you in, but...

Of course, I'm a pastor,
and this is our first date,

so I'm afraid
that no mouth contact is an option.

That's understandable.

- Good night, Geraldine.
- Good night, Harry.

Sir, I don't do this very often.

But just in case this whole thing
"beg on your knees" worked.

I'm begging you, just a little bit.
he felt the mint for me.

Oh...!

I just wanted to say it again,
that it was a wonderful evening.

Yeah, he was wonderful.

Can you give me a closer look at the relationship
between dating and kissing?

Yeah, sure.

Let me put it this way: on the first date.
- definitely not.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- On the second date, probably not.

On the third date - definitely yes...

with a tongue.

That's great. That's great. Thanks for the explanation.

- I'll see you then.
- I'll see you around.

You're good.

You're really good.

I'm out of excuses.
I wanted to look again.

That's it. That's it.

I'll see you around,
tomorrow, I hope.

- Yeah, that would be great.
- That's great. That's great. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

By the way, I didn't ask,
What do you do for a living?

- I'm an accountant.
- Ah, uh...

On this wonderful evening, I welcome you...
at the Book Club in Dibley.

The world around us is lovely, and all of us...
absolutely beautiful, even Owen.

- Are you high?
- No, I'm not high.

- Life is my drug.
- Mine too.

That's great. That's great. Our first book is
"On Beauty" by Zadie Smith.

Who would like to start a discussion?

- Maybe Owen.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Owen?

What I noticed at the beginning,
is the beauty of a young author.

- It's true. It's true,
- She's a pretty, pretty girl.

You brought it from the photo.
on the cover?

- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

What do you think of the book itself?

I didn't have time to read it.

- So you didn't read it.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. Maybe then
somebody else is gonna start a discussion?

That's great. That's great. That's what I was afraid of,
but great. Alice?

Geraldine,
I feel the title speaks for itself.

- "On Beauty"?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

- In what way?
- Describes what the book is about.

- Black Beauty.
- A horse?

- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Have you read the book, Alice?

Actually, I haven't finished it yet.

But twice.
I watched the Black Beauty movie.

I thought that was enough.

How much did you read from this book?

Well, uh...

... the title.

- Just two words?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

But they both did it on me.
...a big impression.

I'm sensing a little problem here.

How many of you have read this book,

I mean,
did you even get through the front page?

No one. We have a meeting dedicated to
to this famous book,

"On Beauty" by Zadie Smith,
who was nominated for the Booker Prize,

a brilliant, innovative processing...
"Forster's Howard's End,

and none of you have made any effort,
to read at least a page.

Why don't you give her a quick overview?
so we can have some discussion material?

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

The book of the week is "On Beauty".
written by the lovely Zadie Smith.

She was nominated in 2005 for the
the Man Booker Prize.

That's brilliant,
contemporary transfer

Forster's Howard's End.

And, uh...

It's one of those rare cases,
...when a book has such an effect...

You didn't read it either, did you, Reverend?

- No, I haven't. But neither do you.
- This is my home.

I baked cookies. I don't have to, either.
to read a g*dd*mn book, right?

- I'm just here for the cookies.
- Yeah, me too.

Okay, well, then, if tonight wasn't the night
completely lost,

Let's put those books away and find one,

that we've all read
and we can talk about her.

Yeah, but apart from the fact that
that he's suffering from deep depression,

is there some way, some kind of...
a normal social escape,

like friendship, celebration, possession,

that could push him forward? Frank?

The mixture of these three things
could be his salvation.

But are you sure? Are you sure?

Let us turn to the original text,
to find out.

"When the party was over.
and all the friends are out,

["WINNIE THE POOH"]
Eeyore still felt deep sadness."

You see that? There's no change!

That's great. That's great. Finally, the beauty of Dibley's
will be captured forever.

I'll be back in 45 minutes,

and I'm expecting jobs that can match
to the greatest masters. Hugo?

- Rolf Harris.
- It's true. It's true.

What are you doing with that knife, Owen?

I thought that when the model
Vincent van Gogh, I'll cut off the ear,

it will improve the quality of my work.

And is this the first time we've been able
try it with both ears?

Okay, okay.
What if I cut off Jim's ear like that?

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

- What about Frank?
- It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Out of my way, you crazy beards!

Go home and shave!
All of you!

- Hello!
- Hello, there.

Amazing,
that I ran into you again.

It's a small town.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I went for a little walk,
...without a purpose, actually.

What a coincidence,

because "actually without purpose" is a direction,
...where I was headed.

- That's great. That's great.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

- It's good to practice a little.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I haven't practiced in ages.

I wonder if we can do that.
to be considered a second date.

Oh, the slim fox.
More like half a date.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. And what level of intimacy

would be appropriate at the moment?

Uh, uh...

- Oh, good choice.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I've brought you in.
to the most beautiful place in the country

and that's the question - was it worth it?

And the answer is no, it wasn't.

Oh, Jesus.

- Are you okay? Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

- I was just crying, nothing else.
- Oh, man. Do you want me to come back later?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come in.

Come on in.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've been watching
"Prudent and romantic."

The moment when
Emma Thompson finds out,

that Hugh Grant
is not engaged to another woman,

is alone, still to be taken
and yet he loves her.

Yeah, and she's giving it up.
this extraordinary sound.

Yeah. He's doing, "Blah, blah, blah."

- Blueee! It's like...
- She had something to give birth to.

Yeah, some kind of overgrown, giant,
a giant baby.

Blueee! Blueee! Somehow, yeah.

I don't know why it's still
can make me cry.

Though I don't think it's
has proved its worth in reality.

I suspect that if the guy who's been
I love you madly, he asked me to marry him,

I'd probably quit,
with "Bluaaaaaa! Bluaaaaaa!"

Yeah, you're absolutely right.

I bet when Brad Pitt
he asked Angelina to marry him,

- she didn't throw "Oh, Brad. Blueee! Blueee!"
- Of course not.

There's one thing I'd like to do
before the evening starts.

- It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
- I've been doing some calculations,

- as I'm an accountant.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

And it turns out that you're standing on the edge
of some pretty serious debt.

- A debt?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

See, I've calculated,
that my visit tonight

can be considered a third date.

Well, then,

you'd owe me a sum of money
one kiss...

with a tongue.

And I couldn't stand it,
...if you had accumulated a backlog...

Well, of course, I'd still like
check these numbers again.

So first date, then,
it was dinner, wasn't it?

- The second date was...

Holding hands.
It's all listed.

Yeah, that's right. That's right.
And having debts is a sin, isn't it?

- Truly sin.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

And when you would like to...
to pay the bill?

- Now, now, now.
- What's that? This minute?

In this second.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

- Good night, sir. Good night, sir.
- Good night, sir. Good night, sir.

- I'll see you around.
- Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

Hello? Hello?

Hi, sweetheart.

You're back?
I missed you so much.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come straight here.

I have so much to tell you.
No, of course not.

Be here about three o'clock, and I'll take you
for the most wonderful long walk.

All right, chicken.
I can't wait.

I love you. I love you.

Love.
He's making fools of all of us.

Yes, undoubtedly.

You've been kissing for weeks.
a little puppy,

and all of a sudden, out of the blue,
all you have left is a big pimple.

Lovely - romantic.

You remember your date with David's brother,

where you jumped into a puddle,
just to show off?

You went right up to your neck.

I wouldn't do that again,
even if he was the most handsome.

Oh, boy, how's it going?
with Mr. Beautiful?

Oh. Oh.

Did his purple Porsche
has arrived at your parking lot yet?

No, Alice, it didn't.

Shut up and get out of here!

- What time is it?
- It's almost three o'clock.

I've got to get out. I have something to do.

- Can I come with you?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Oh, here we go.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Let me go.
Where do you think you're going?

I'm going to Narnia.

- Narnia?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

- You want to drive, Alice?
- Yes, please!

- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. Let's go, then. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
- Oh! Oh!

We're going in.

- It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
- Mr. Tumnus!

Mr. Tumnus?

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Just in time.

Come here. Come here. I love you. I love you.

I'm taking you for a walk. It's like this.
romantic that the blood circulates faster.

It's great, isn't it?

Oh! Oh!

Mr. Tumnus?

Bye. Bye. Bye.

And when everything else fails...

BIBLE

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I haven't seen you in days.

Oh, yeah, I've been writing sermons.

...about morality, loyalty, the kind of people who...

And I thought that when he came to visit you.
extremely attractive,

a great guy, you want to have
a little privacy.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- There she is.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Rosie, this is Geraldine.

Hello. Hello. Hello.
Harry's talked so much about you.

You're the best part
towns, and he loves them.

Oh, isn't that nice?

I have to tell you, Harry,
that I have wedding discounts,

for those who are kind to me.

- Funerals, too.
- I told you she was funny.

Yeah. That's me.
Funny, funny, funny, funny.

You don't even have to be attractive,
when you're as funny as I am.

I'm sorry, honey, but we have to
go if we want to make it in time for this movie.

Yes, of course.

It's really nice to meet you,
that I finally met you.

It was heavenly to meet you, Rosie.

I bet you do,
that he never mentioned me?

- No, not really.
- Guys.

Guys. Honestly, sometimes
you'd feel like hitting them.

Or put
their masculinity in a vise.

I'm funny again.
The old troublemaker.

It should be me!

It should be me!

It should be me!

It should be me!

Nice work for you guys.
the first attempt at journalism.

Let's go through
to page one.

Hugo Horton, main news.
What a headline.

"DIBLEY - DO THE RESIDENTS
ARE DYING OF RABIES?"

Yes, thank you.

That's the key thing, because if
the residents are dying of rabies,

we need to know, because she's deadly.
and highly contagious.

- Are they dying?
- No, they're not dying.

Which, by the way, is what you wrote in your article.

The article is too much to say.
But more than an adverb.

Just the word "no".

- But it attracts the eye.
- While we're at it. Owen, the photographer.

It's really unusual in a city newspaper.
to have a Page Three Girl.

Yeah, that's Brenda, the bartender.
Do you like the way I lighted her up?

You'd never guess he was 65.

I think we'd have guessed. We have
...there's a Page Four Girl here, too.

Yeah, that's her mother.

And the Page Five Girl.

Good things are never too many.

And yet too much. Who's that? Who's that?

That's her aunt's mother.

Correct me if I'm wrong,
but I have a foggy feeling,

that she's already dead, isn't she?

Actually, she just died.

So this is a picture of a dead topless topless
of women of indeterminate age.

It's probably the most
the weird picture I saw.

Hmm, thanks.

Now that we're on the subject...
David, wasn't there any obituaries?

No, but I wrote them all.

Frank even a couple of times.
I found out it calmed me down.

And this is where we move on to the troubled website
led by Jim Trott.

Now my problem is the text.
on the problem page, Jim.

You wrote it: "Readers, tell us
about your deepest, darkest problems...

and give us some joy."

Isn't that why we're reading about them?
to laugh?

Yeah, but you're not talking about that, are you?

And why did you write
"just sexual problems"?

Because they're the funniest, right?

Okay, fine. I'm a little afraid
about the matter of anonymity.

Listen to me. Listen to me: "Dear Aunt Jim.
I'm depressed.

My beloved has a brain like a sheep.

How can I survive in life
without one intelligent conversation?"

And your answer, Jim.
"Dear Hugo Horton.

You're absolutely right. Alice is a total
silly. Drop it now. "

- I didn't write to Aunt Jim.
- No? Then who wrote it?

Owen. Owen.

I had no idea.
You finally have a girlfriend.

And she has a brain like a sheep?

Well, yeah.

Because she's a sheep.

We can't publish it, Jim,
for legal reasons.

So we're in trouble,
Uncle Good Counsel?

Don't worry. Don't worry. Last night.
I got another letter.

We'll be able to throw him in
at the last minute.

That's a relief.
Read it.

- It's about unrequited love.
- Don't actually read it.

- Moving on...
- It's from a woman.

From a woman who wrote him...
she was completely drunk.

and he probably doesn't want you to read it,
I think so... I suppose...

"Dear Aunt Jim.
I love a wonderful man."

- Ah!
- Let's get back to rabies.

"But it turned out
that he's with another woman."

You b*stards!

"Should I fight..,
or accept it,

that I'm no longer attractive.
a middle-aged woman,

who will never again experience
true love

and she'll always be alone?"

I'd advise her to get the guy,
she tried to talk some sense into him,

but if he were to turn out to be refractory,
there's always her g*n.

So here's your advice, Jim,
let him talk to me one last time,

and if it doesn't work,
...have him blow his head off?

Well, no, no, no, no, no, no. Exactly like that.
That's how we do it in the country.

I don't know if that's all right, Jim.

I'd rather say,
"From the tone of your letter, I deduce,

that you're a sensitive and intelligent woman.

My advice is... don't do anything.

If a man is worth your love,
he'll come back to you.

If he doesn't come back, don't worry,
that means it's not the right one.

and you better be alone,
than with the wrong man."

Yeah. Okay.

Thank you. Thank you.

All right, let's get to the back cover.

It's just me.

I've been thinking.

- I should be you.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just that I don't see the need,
so that the next pope would be a man.

I'm serious about this.
about a public statement,

that me, the only one alive.
a descendant of Jesus,

I don't like this German.

That's a good idea.

I also think it's with you that he should
to walk around this Harry guy.

And besides, you're a lady,
that she's walking around the town with.

it's a terrible old coconut.

Well, I wouldn't say that.
She was very nice to me.

A triumphant witch.
No, I shouldn't have said that.

I'm sure they'll be very happy.

And I'm gonna be put in a corner.

Actually, it's not gonna be
as bad as you think they are.

- It won't?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

When I was two years old, my mom
she worked at the supermarket.

and put me in a corner
between packs of pampers.

And I quite enjoyed it.

My withdrawal to the corner
is a little different from yours.

Yes. Your symbolic angle.
means abandonment and loneliness.

It's like Ugly Duckling.
it just grew and became even more ugly,

without a chance,
to turn into a swan.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

But I don't see it that way.
You're not set in a corner at all,

because you're already married, aren't you?

It's a town.

And Harry, when he gets married,
he'll want to have one wife,

while you, in a way,

you married Owen,

Jim and Frank

and Hugo and David.

And you married me, too.

And Mrs. Cropley.

So, as you can see, he would have one wife,

and you're five husbands and two wives,

one of which is the embodiment of
God on Earth,

and the other one's gonna be here soon.
kicks in the calendar.

See, it's not that bad.

No, it's not.

Thanks, frog. Now, if you'll excuse me,
but I'm not in the mood for chitchat.

- Yeah, it's bedtime.
- Sleep well.

- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- I love you. I love you.

And I'll pass on your love words to Dad,
means to God.

Thanks, man.

Which one of my many husbands is he?
or which wife?

- Hello, Geraldine.
- Hello, Harry. How are you? How are you?

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Well, as good as I can get...
you can be in such circumstances.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are the circumstances?

Well, it's a big day for me.

You know, one of those big days.
You understand what I mean.

I suppose so. How can I
to help you on this big day?

Reverend, I could have actually
to get straight to the point.

I've been thinking about it a lot,
I've talked a lot.

and I've been thinking about it,

would you consider
marrying me?

Yes, of course, with pleasure.

- Wonderful news.
- Have you been thinking about a date?

Uh, uh...

I thought we could...
...I'd like to discuss this with you.

I'd bet on Christmas.

Always a very romantic time.

Okay, if you're okay with it.

Yeah. Well, let's check the books.

Church diary.
Let's have a look.

There's a window on the 22nd if you like it.

That's great.

Okay, now that we're here,

we can do the rest.
paperwork, okay?

Let's fill it out.

Okay, your full name is Harry...?

Jasper Kennedy.

I hope this doesn't make you giggle.

- I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

And what's the full name
of the happy chosen one?

I don't know her middle name, but...

Well, we can fill that out later.

And pray,
so it wouldn't be embarrassing either,

or else we'll have a sieve.

Okay, her first name and last name?

- Well, uh...
- Come on, Harry.

You can't marry a person,
whose name you don't know.

Well... it's obviously...

- Geraldine.
- Geraldine.

- Granger.
- Granger.

Excuse me, sir?

It's Geraldine Granger.

I'm asking you to marry me,
Geraldine Granger.

But what about this...
What about the other one...

... the one who lives with you?

- Rosie, that pretty girl, what about her?
- That's my sister.

- What?! What?!
- She's... she's... She's my closest friend.

- What?! What?!
- I advise her on everything.

What?! What?!

We tried to decide
whether it's too fast, too fast, too fast or too stupid,

but I finally decided to go.
with the voice of my heart.

Blueee!

Blueee!

Would you excuse me for a moment?

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Aaaaaaa!

Blueee! Blueee!

Let me make sure,
if I understood correctly.

You're asking me to marry you?

- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Blueee! Blueee!

I loved you at the moment
when I saw you.

and I'm absolutely sure,
that we were created for each other,

and that we'll always be happy.

That's not all...

Calm down, calm down, calm down.

Marriage is exciting,
but we can't scream for the rest of our lives.

- A joke to celebrate the evening.
- That's cool.

What do accountants do when they're constipated?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What do the accountants do?
when they're constipated?

They solve it with a pencil.

Do you understand?

They put a pencil up their a*s?
It's disgusting.

No, it's a joke, Alice.

It's not a joke at all if a pencil breaks.
and half of it gets stuck inside.

- They'll have even more constipation.
- No, they'll solve it.

I can't believe you're leaving.
for a guy who puts a pencil in there.

What if he puts it somewhere?
And you're gonna use it as a pencil?

I don't know about you, but with a pencil.
I do that when I think about it.

I think the word "I think"
it's too strong here.

And to think that he might have been
in an accountant's a*s.

- I don't even dare think.
- It's true. It's true.

Here's your pencil.

It's not mine.
It's one of Harry's pencils.