Uh.
Huh.
f*ck.
Jesus Christ.
Ah! Ah!
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Dude?
Are you good, dude?
Holy sh*t, f*ck.
Help! Somebody help!
I need help! Somebody help!
I need help!
A man once jumped from
the Golden Gate Bridge.
Well, a lot have, but
this guy, he lived.
It's a 245-foot drop
before you smack
into the freezing
cold bay below.
Just a little over four
seconds of falling.
The man said he regretted it
the moment his last finger
departed from the rail.
But I think a sea lion
saved his life or something.
It's a really good
story, but I don't know.
Everyone keeps telling
me there's a reason
I'm still here and all.
I wanna regret it. I really do.
But it's just the only
thing I truly regret
is not using a g*n.
f*ck, man. You scared me.
Sorry.
Do you know how they died?
How the f*ck should I know?
Yo, man, you k*ll this
b*tch or something?
- What?
- Great work today, bud.
Thanks.
- Couple new plots?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're dropping
like flies out there.
But hey, good for business.
You sure I can't bring you home?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
- Oh, come on.
You must be exhausted from
pushing that thing around.
It's hot as Satan
himself out there.
I'll stop in and say
hey to your folks.
No, really. Ah, I'm sure...
I don't mind running.
It's my doctor.
Um, well, therapist.
Um, she thinks is good for me.
All right. Oh, hey,
I got you something.
Go ahead.
Ah, you didn't have
to get me anything.
Just open it.
Hey, bud, did I wake you?
Ah, perfect fit.
- Thank you.
- Hey, everything okay?
Yeah. (chuckles) No,
everything's good.
- I'm good.
- Okay, good.
You know I'm always
here for you, bud.
I know.
Um, hey.
You got it?
Yeah.
- This is too much, bro.
- What do you mean?
I mean, it's f*cking too much.
Oh, okay. I, I, I'm sorry.
I wasn't sure if you
took gratuity or not.
Listen, you ain't gonna sh**t up
no f*cking school
or nothing, are you?
What? No, ah, no.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Will
Happy birthday to you
- Yay.
- Mm-hmm.
Sorry, I didn't
get you anything.
I never know what to get you.
It's okay. I don't
need anything.
It really is okay.
I wouldn't want them
wasting their money.
Excited for your
first day tomorrow?
- I guess.
- It'll be nice.
A fresh start, right?
Dr. Saretha called the house.
She said you haven't been
picking up her check-ins.
- Yeah.
- Because you can tell us
if you're not.
Your father and I are
always here for you.
I know. I'm okay.
Isn't that right, John?
Yeah, yeah, it's great.
What the f*ck's
wrong with the cake?
Sometimes I look in the
mirror and ask myself,
"Is this person
worth saving today?"
The answer is usually "no."
Anyone who would've known
me graduated already.
It's nice being able to
just blend in for now.
No f*cking way, dude.
The boy who lived.
Yeah.
Spanky, nice to meet
you, man. I'm a huge fan.
- I'm Will.
- No sh*t.
If we weren't in f*cking
swim class right now,
I'd take a selfie with you.
You're Tattle famous, brother.
What's, ah, Tattle famous?
Dude, you don't what Tattle is?
What, were you in a medically
induced coma or something?
I was.
Oh, dude, dude, you,
you smell like sh*t.
You, (sniffing) you
smell like a wet,
like a wet f*cking
hoagie or something.
Anyways, ah, I guess
it's like this blog thing
where you can anonymously
say whatever you want
about the people in your
area, and it's actually
how I found out that
f*cking David over here
eats peanut butter out of
his girlfriend's stinky vag!
f*ck you, L.J.
Why are you even taking
first period swim?
- Aren't you a senior?
- Calm down, Skippy.
Sheesh, brother.
Someone's having a bad day.
But very good question.
You see, I heard
through the grapevine
that little Miss Robin
Young was assigned
this period's swim aide,
and your boy here could use
a lesson or two in the
breast stroke, baby.
That was weak as hell.
Wait, why are you here?
You're obviously not one of
these cute little Sophies.
I like to swim.
Oh, that's f*cking weird.
Oh, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck,
f*ck, dude! Here she comes!
Here she comes!
- Yeah, Robin.
- I feel bad for her,
but for some reason I can't
help but stare with the others.
Dude, you f*cking see that?
- What?
- What?
She looked right at me, dude.
She basically just
said with her eyes,
"Spank, daddy, me,
you, locker room."
Welcome to the first day
- Do you know her?
- Of swim class.
Dude, she's the
girl's team captain.
She's f*cking crazy, both
mentally and athletically.
- Might win states this year.
- At what?
- At what, what?
- States.
What is she gonna
win states for?
- XC.
- Our legs will glide us
- through the water.
- XC?
Jesus Christ, dude.
Cross country.
Our team is
mother-effing god-sent!
Hey, hey, L.J.
Come on, man. What, what's
this guy doing here?
- Sorry, Mr. S.
- All right
- Looking hella fit though.
- Thanks, buddy.
Ah, (sniffs)
started working out.
Appreciate you noticing that.
I'd bang Mr. Straus 1,000%.
I need to pair you up. One,
two, one, two, one, two.
You get it. Okay.
Oh, remember, when
you breathe...
I wish I could
make people laugh.
Strokes, so stroke,
stroke, breathe.
Let me hear you say that.
Stroke, stroke, breath.
It is hotter than
Satan's wallet in here.
Glenda, turn on the air!
- All right, let's hit the pool.
- Woo!
You mind if I share
this one, Skip?
f*ck.
You got a tight
little core there.
- You work out?
- Ah, thanks.
No, um, I run and do, landscape.
Hey, let me get
some of those suds.
So why don't they
call you Spanky?
Guys on the cross country
team give all the freshman
nicknames after
the first practice.
They said I used to look like
a little girl in my tights
- like I was wearing Spanx.
- Oh.
Dude, you should
come out for XC.
Ah, the squad's swaggy
as hell. You'd love 'em.
I, um, work after school.
- Why?
- 'Cause I need money.
Dude, what? f*ck the money.
Life's too short. Ah, sell
your jizz online or something.
- How do you do that?
- What?
You know, you know, I don't
f*cking know. I'm just saying.
You know, it's your
last of year childhood.
And you gotta take
it in. Come out.
Guarantee you'll love it.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybes are for squares, b*tch.
Oh, sh*t!
Seniors, don't
forget look your best
for Senior Portrait
Day next Friday.
Speaking of Friday,
Friyay, am I right?
Tomorrow night, we'll be
the taking on the Stars
in the big game in
our home stadium.
Don't forget to cheer
them on. Go Knights!
Hi, my name is Brianna,
but you can call me Bri.
My fun fact.
Okay, so I got to intern
at the White House
this past summer.
- Wait, did you
get to meet - Yeah.
- Obama?
- Did you see the gardens?
- I didn't.
- What's so fun about that?
Okay, all right.
Let's settle down.
Thank you. Will.
Um, (clears throat)
I'm, ah, Will.
Which is short for
William, I guess.
And your fun fact, Will?
Ah, fun fact, um, I guess
I've never been to a concert.
That's not fun.
Okay. Francesca.
Hi, my name is Francesca, and
my fun fact is that my uncle
was on the Phillies team when
they won the World Series.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
- That's sick.
- Sometimes when things
are already bad,
little sh*t like this
can really put
you over the edge.
Thanks for your
patience, brochacho.
So how may I help you
today, my good sir?
- I need to borrow a camera.
- Ooh, nice.
Would this be a photo or
video venture for you?
- Video.
- Perfect, yes.
Gotta capture that
content, baby.
Hey, can you do me a quick
favor and hang tight?
I'll be right back.
- Marco.
- What?
Say "Polo."
So what are these again?
- Polo.
- Hey.
I'm just busted your
ba*ls, Zambroni.
Okay.
A Panasonic H.264AVC,
fully high Definition
handycam at your service.
Now, what will this
be used for exactly?
Hey.
I, um, f*ck.
Hello everyone. Um...
Jesus.
Ooh.
Mom, Dad, um,
I just want you to know,
um, I've just been really
f*cking, freaking, sorry.
It's just been really
hard, you know?
And, um, and it's not
your fault or anything.
You didn't do anything wrong.
All the help's been really nice
and makes sense and everything.
It's just, um...
I think I know what I
need to do to get better.
I do. Um...
I don't know, I look
around and I look at me.
It just doesn't feel
like it's worth trying
to get better anymore.
I, um, I just...
I think I'm sick, you know?
Um...
I hope you can forgive me.
I'm sorry. I love you.
f*ck.
sh*t.
f*ck, f*ck.
f*ck.
Hey, I'm leaving.
Holy sh*t. Dad!
Jesus Christ.
You scared the sh*t out of me.
- I'm going to school.
- What?
I couldn't hear a
word you were saying.
These things are
out of this world.
You gotta try 'em,
Robin, come over here.
I can't. I gotta go, Dad.
Oh, relax. You got like a 4.0.
You can afford to
be late. Come here.
Now get there. All right.
No.
And remember, don't be t*rd.
How are you today?
M-Me?
Yes.
I'm, um, I'm Will.
Nice to meet you, Will,
but I asked you how
you were doing today.
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm having a good day.
Where you going, Will?
I should go to class.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes, please.
Ooh, na, noo
Do, do, ooh
Keep 'em closed.
Ooh, na, noo
The very first time that
I saw your brown eyes
Your lips said
"Hello" and I said Hi
I knew right then
you were the one
But I was caught up
Ah
In physical attraction
But to my satisfaction
Baby, you were more
than just a phrase
And if I ever
fall in love again
I will be sure that
the lady is a friend
I hear you like to run.
Yeah, I do, um,
My doctor,
well, she's my therapist.
She runs. She said it might
help me with some stuff.
Smart lady.
See you at practice.
The Slim Reaper himself.
You made it.
You gonna get ready?
I am ready.
The f*ck you are. You
can't wear jeans out there.
Holy hell, man. Tell me the
honest to god truth right now.
Exactly how many people
have you f*cking m*rder*d?
Just give me a roundabout
number five, six, seven, maybe?
Jesus, dude, my
nuts are screaming
thinking about you jogging
around in f*cking denim.
Yo.
Put these bad boys on.
See your cute a*s
out there, player.
Be careful. It's all wet.
Wouldn't want you
to hurt yourself.
Fellas, I'd like
to introduce you
to our newest teammate, Will.
This is Toad.
- Welcome to team, bro.
- Sauce.
Boots.
Welcome to the team.
Simple Jack.
Hey.
Bear Jew.
- Mm-hmm.
- What's up, man?
- Come on, guys!
- Bumper.
- What's up bro?
- And Jizz.
Hi.
Dude, I'd literally
give both nuts
to stick my nose up in there
and just (sniffing), woo!
Right?
I can't wait for
L.J. to graduate.
Who's that new kid?
Pretty sure he is
taking my swim class.
I'm like 98% positive
that's the kid that tried
to k*ll himself last year
in the B-Pod bathroom.
Ew. What the f*ck
is wrong with him?
Why would anybody try
to k*ll themselves?
So why'd you try
to k*ll yourself?
Dude, what the hell kind
of question is that?
Well, sorry, Sauce.
Ah, hey, Will, what's
your favorite animal, man?
No, no, wait. Let me guess.
Is it by chance that
giant f*cking elephant
just chilling in the room?
No, um, (clears
throat) it's okay.
- See, let the man speak.
- Set!
Hit it! Hit it!
- Well, I...
- Got addicted
to his mom's sleeping pills
and OD'd or something.
- Ew, what the f*ck?
- Yeah.
He must be like
seriously f*cked up.
I can't believe he's allowed
to go to school here still.
This place is going to sh*t.
Damn, dude. That's heavy.
Did it hurt?
Well, I...
sh*t his pants
seizing on the ground.
So gross.
Apparently, the
smell was so morbid
the teacher threw up in his
mouth trying to give him CPR.
Ew.
- That's crazy, man.
- Yeah, guess.
What'd your parents do?
- My parents...
- Found him trying
to hang himself from
his bedroom ceiling fan
- a few weeks later.
- Such a selfish thing to do,
leaving your family
to deal with that.
Right?
How would a ceiling fan
even support his weight?
- It wouldn't.
- You're good though now,
- right?
- Yeah, we're not gonna
find you in the locker
room floating in a pool
of your own blood, are we?
Nah, I don't think so.
- I hate blood.
- How do you know, Robin?
Have you tried it?
You're so f*cking funny, Emma.
You're just regurgitating all
that sh*t on that stupid blog.
Blog? It's not 2006.
I hate you.
Robin thinks the new kid is hot.
She's always had a thing
for the strange ones.
Oh yeah, because Sauce
is so f*cking cool
and popular, Becca.
You good, man?
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
You got this, dude. Only four
and a quarter miles left.
Oh, f*ck.
Oh, f*ck.
f*ck.
Oh. Ooh.
Hop in.
You're gonna be all right.
Take it, I must fix this.
Robi, my queen.
Survive in a relationship, often
- What happened?
- They identify a prob...
Oh, baby bird. What happened?
I'm fine.
It's stupid.
What? What's stupid?
Oh, you know, just
f*cking everyone
and everything ever.
Well, you're not
totally wrong there,
but I do know one thing
that's not stupid.
I don't know. Say it
Friday f*cking Fro-Yo.
So, you thinking
sub 17:15 tomorrow?
Yeah, judging by how I felt
like a giant sh*t today,
- I doubt it.
- Why'd you feel
like a giant sh*t today?
Your left foot again?
No, my foot's fine.
I guess I just feel heavy.
Over training?
I don't know.
It's probably all
just (raspberrying).
Probably.
Tomorrow's low pressure, right?
So just try to have fun with it.
Besides, I'll be
there either way.
What do you way we get
the f*ck outta here
before I crap my
pants on the way home?
Dad, I'm telling you, you
have a lactose problem.
What? It's not ice cream.
Yeah, and it's not dairy-free
for the billionth time.
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls.
- Welcome to the...
- Woo!
Good luck.
Oh, God.
Uh.
Um, you can't use this one.
Why?
Did you take a huge
sloppy sh*t or something?
What? No, I, I, that wasn't
me. I just peed, I swear.
I trust you. These
things are hell on earth.
- I'm Will, by the way.
- I'm Robin.
Yeah, I know. I, I
mean, I don't know.
Okay.
I, ah, I really gotta pee.
Right, yeah, um,
well, ah, good luck
in, in the race.
Not the porta potty.
- West what?
- West Penn!
Let's go, Robi!
- Runners set.
- Woo, woo!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Woo-hoo!
- Woo, woo!
Pills, Pills.
You see that Neshaminy
kid try to put his elbow
in my chest at the start line?
Oh no. I couldn't see
from where I was standing.
Dude, kid put his elbow
here on my sternum,
then I swim moved
his a*s like this.
Boom, took right off.
Had him kissing
the back of my sack
- the last 1600.
- Yeah, man.
Oh, it's my bad, big dog.
- What was that?
- What?
What was what?
Rob, just eye banged you.
- Eye banged?
- Yeah, hard.
What the f*ck was
her deal today?
- What do you mean?
- She almost f*cking lost.
Yeah, but she won. She passed
a bunch of girls at the end.
It was awesome.
I've seen the Robin Young
race for the last eight years.
Never once seen her have
to come from behind.
Maybe she was having an off day.
Ah, yeah. You think?
She needs to get
her sh*t together.
She looked hot still at least.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm def barfing
everywhere tonight.
You're gonna see little
bits of spare ribs caked
all over the track on Monday.
Aw dude, do you remember
when Slim sh*t himself
on the back stretch?
- f*cking Slim.
- Dude, f*ck Slim.
- Yeah.
- What's going on tonight?
We got the beer mile
relays at the stadium
once we get back.
You want in on
our squad or what?
- Ah, yeah, definitely.
- Mm!
- Yeah, dude.
- Yeah.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. First meet today.
Nice start to the season.
Little rust buster.
Times aren't quite where
we want them to be,
but thankfully the
season's still young.
Either way, first
meet under our belt
and let's not do anything
dumb tonight, please.
All right? Let's get on the bus.
Welcome to the 28th Annual
West Penn XC Beer Mile Relays.
- Work it, right?
- Hey, the rules are simple.
All right, each team
has four members.
Each member must finish one
full can of Prestone Light,
courtesy of Becca's
older brother.
Yeah, Becca's older brother.
Sure, sure. Snap
it up, snap it up.
Each member must
finish their can
before the end of
the exchange zone.
Once proven that the contents
of your can are empty,
- you must then race 400
meters - What the f*ck is this?
Around the track until you're
able to tag your par...
I'm sorry, is there
something more important
going on that I'm missing?
- This isn't beer.
- What, what do you mean
- this isn't beer?
- It's O'Douls.
It's nonalcoholic.
What the f*ck is O'Douls?
Jesus, God, Becca,
what the f*ck?
What do you mean, what the f*ck?
You had one job.
I didn't sign up for this sh*t.
Oh, your brother's such a d*ck.
- Shut the f*ck up, Toad!
- Don't tell him
- to shut the f*ck up.
- It's all my fault, right?
It's the f*cking fuzz! Run!
Oh, ah, ah, ah!
We'll be good in here.
Why do you have those?
I'm a janitor.
Cool.
I'm not a f*cking janitor.
Mr. Straus gave me these
'cause he likes the coffee
at Yum Yums but
there's always a line.
So he gave me this
to let everyone in.
Right.
Wait, so why are you in
my first period swim?
I like to swim.
You're f*cking weird.
- I know.
- You're funny.
- Good job today.
- Shut up.
You won though.
It was incredible.
Can confirm, did
not feel incredible.
I don't know what's
wrong with me.
- Sorry.
- Why?
I don't know.
- So, Pills?
- Yeah.
Why did you...?
f*ck, I probably
sound like every other
knuckle dragger that goes here.
No, it's okay. Ah,
I know it's crazy.
Yeah, I don't blame you.
Let's talk about
something else, huh?
What does William...
- Davey.
- Okay.
What does William
Davey like to do
other than take massive dumps
in public porta potties?
Okay, I, I think I'd rather
get arrested right...
Stop, sit. Okay, okay.
What does William Davey
plan to do with his life
once freed from the walls
of West Penn Penitentiary?
- Penitentiary?
- Come on, this place
sucks ba*ls and not
in the good way.
Come on. Speak.
What do you wanna
do after all this?
I don't really know.
I guess I never really
thought I'd get that far.
Christ, that's intense.
Excuse me while I drown
myself in the deep end.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
- Stop saying that.
- What about you then?
- Wildcats.
Wildcats?
- Shh!
- Shh!
Villanova Wildcats. I'm
running there next year.
That's awesome. Congrats.
Yeah, it was a dream.
It's not anymore?
- I think I peaked too early.
- What do you mean?
I've sucked all year.
It was one race.
You'll get it back.
Yeah, but maybe I never will.
Hey, you can't be in here.
Every year, somebody
gets caught.
I'm not mad at you.
It just means that
we're dumb and slow.
You guys are gonna
hold these planks
until I get back from
my meeting with the AD.
Pills, Pills, I saw a Tattle,
Robin gave you a good
suck in the shallow end
the other night.
What? It wasn't me.
Hope it was worth
it though, man.
- Nothing happened.
- Oh, come on.
You two in love now or what?
Details, Pills. Details.
You're blue-balling
everyone here.
No, we just ended
up in the same spot.
It wasn't like that.
Christ, we're doing
this sh*t for nothing?
The next time you
wanna f*ck the team,
at least get a finger
in there first.
- I'm sorry.
- Uh!
Get up, Jizz!
A little risky getting
involved with that kid.
- Shut the f*ck up.
- f*ck!
I'm just saying.
Those f*cking geese could
wake the dead out here.
The geese could wake
the dead out here.
- What?
- The geese?
They're loud.
Yeah.
Ah, mm.
Some more dough.
Oh.
Hard practice today?
Yeah.
Did you call back
that Nova guy yet?
He keeps emailing us
about the incoming
freshman press release.
What? Yeah, I don't know.
Figure it out tomorrow.
Are you talking to someone
on that thing or...?
No.
- How was school?
- Dumb.
Well, before you know
it, it'll be over.
I can't wait.
Mom used to make
this better, huh?
- Dad, not right now.
- I'm just saying.
Yeah, well, you don't have
to bring her up every night.
I know. You're right.
f*ck, I'm sorry. I
just don't feel good.
Maybe because you
just inhaled that.
You all right?
Yeah. I'm just
gonna go lay down.
Just not right.
I can see a good
a*s when I see it.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Don't lie to yourself.
- Next Friday.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So don't miss!
Oh, come on.
Yeah, f*ck me, right?
Yeah, no worries, Pills.
I'll just go ahead and Glansburg
my way to f*cking E-Pod.
Thanks. (laughs) Yeah, this
actually works out well for me.
Every cool kid
walks by themselves.
Oh wait, they don't
'cause they're not
f*cking hunters like me.
Oh, this is great.
Hey, man, what's up?
Nothing much. Just
going to class.
I don't think we should do this.
Do what?
- Nevermind.
- Okay.
Do you need help
carrying anything?
No.
Do you wanna do
something tonight?
Okay.
See you in there, big boy Pills.
Dude, are you chubbed
out right now?
What?
Are you chubbed out right now?
Oh, I was looking at boobes.
You were looking at
boobs. What the f*ck?
Yeah, um, on my phone.
What, just chilling on
the hub before rinsing off
with your bros?
Hey, man. No judgment here.
Love the energy you're bringing.
But yo, let's f*cking do
something fun tonight.
- No meet this weekend.
- I can't.
Dude, seriously? Why?
You know, Robin.
Already whipped.
Christ, dude.
All right. Well,
just be careful.
- What do you mean?
- Robin's f*cking crazy.
So I'm just saying
We played through the scenes
Called it a remedy
You can take care of me
But you know, I know
We played through the scenes
Called it a remedy
You can take care of me
But you know
nothing about me
Woo, woo!
How have you never been
west of Pittsburgh?
Does South Carolina count?
What? No.
- Why would that count?
- I don't know.
I'm, ah, pretty sure that's
more east than where we are
- Yeah, okay, okay.
- Right now.
Sorry, that was a little gross.
Um, what about you then?
Um, definitely Utah.
- What's in Utah?
- It's incredible though.
My, ah, parents took
me there when I was 14,
and we sat under
these huge rock arches
and I don't know, I guess
it just made me feel
like really small and like,
like the world was so big
and like there was just so
much out there, you know?
Holy f*cking sh*t.
- What, what?
- Will.
We should go there.
Am I legally a genius?
We've got to plan it. Okay?
Well, aren't we excited?
How was everything?
Everything was
perfect. Thank you.
These plates sure
speak for themselves.
And you with that tiny little
figure. Sure cleared that one.
I am assuming no dessert?
Ah, I think we're okay.
Okay. I'll get youse the check.
Show me those pictures of Utah.
Here. I'm gonna run
to the bathroom.
Here's my half.
Okay. Um, I'll just
wait here then.
No, I did not. You let me...
All right, honey, you
can pay at the register
- when you're done.
- Thank you.
- That was fun.
- That was not at all.
Mm.
Could I have another mint?
28.72.
Ah.
Our love will never die
Um.
Mm.
- Hey.
- Hey.
sh*t.
Nice.
Ah, are you feeling okay?
Yeah. I'm feeling a lot better.
I ate your mint.
It's okay.
Oh, okay.
And so I'll be seething
Can I show you something?
And then there's
talk of leaving
This is where you work?
Jesus f*cking Christ.
Just come on.
I swear to God, if
you f*cking k*ll me,
I will k*ll you so
much f*cking harder.
This isn't so bad.
Like in a weird, f*cked up,
dark, twisted kind of way,
sort of see why
you like it here.
- Ah!
- Shh!
What did you do that for?
It's not like they're sleeping.
Ha!
Do you ever think about what
it could have been like?
- What do you mean?
- Ended up like them.
I, I guess it would've just
been like nothing, maybe.
Yeah, but nothing? Try
and imagine nothing.
It's literally impossible to
know what nothing feels like.
See, it's literally impossible.
I don't know. I, I guess I
never really thought about
what happens after.
I guess I just figured
whatever happens,
maybe it's just a little
bit better than this.
Do you regret it?
I don't know.
Just think you would've
missed out on meeting me.
Besides, you're with me now,
which means if you hurt
yourself, I'll hurt myself.
- Don't say that.
- What?
It's only fair.
If you f*cking k*ll yourself,
I'll f*cking k*ll myself.
What? No, I'm not making a
f*cking suicide pact with you.
Ah, fine, fine. Okay.
Then you're my boyfriend.
I've just decided, and if
you leave me, I'll k*ll you.
Okay. Deal.
And here comes Robin Young,
coming down the final stretch!
Jessica Beecher in second.
Robin Young, she'll go
on to become 5K champion!
They said you're
waiting for her.
Mr. Young.
Yeah. Is she okay?
- She's okay for the moment.
- Do they know what happened?
- Low blood sugar levels.
- So that's good, right?
This is nothing serious.
Why don't you head up there?
She'll be happy to see you.
Okay. Thank you.
Robin.
Hey, Robin.
Robin.
Robin, Rob. f*ck,
ah, somebody help!
I'm sorry. That was,
that was so mean.
That's not f*cking funny, Robin.
- Oh, come on.
- Jeez.
That was a pretty
compelling performance,
if I do say so myself.
- You're insane.
- Aren't we all,
William Davey?
Bet it's not even real gold.
What's wrong with you?
You scared the sh*t
out of everyone today.
Oh, please, I bet
everyone wished
I would've collapsed sooner.
- What happened?
- Who knows?
I don't really remember
finishing, but I still won.
The, ah, nurse said it
was just low blood sugar.
So no biggie.
How long have you been here?
It's, ah, getting late.
You should get home. Plus I
gotta catch up on my serve.
No, it's okay. I
can stay longer.
Will, come here.
My lips are crusty.
It's, um, really dry in here
Now go on boy, get!
Ooh, da, do, do, do, do
Ooh, da, do, do, do
The very first time that
I saw your brown eyes
Your lips said
"Hello" and I said, Hi
I knew right then
you were the one
But I was caught, ah,
in physical attraction
But to my satisfaction
Baby, you were more
than just a phrase
And if I ever
fall in love again
I will be sure that
the lady is a friend
And if I ever fall
in love so true
I will be sure that the
lady's just like you
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Help me, help me!
I'm not going back!
I'm not going back!
I'm not going back! Help me!
Please, help me!
Help me! Help me!
Help, help me!
I'll double your pay.
Get you one of those John
Deere zero-turn things.
It's just with school
and cross country,
- it's just been a lot.
- I know, I know.
I'm just busting
your chops. No, no.
I'm, I'm happy for
you. I really am.
So I guess this is it?
I won't see you
till Thanksgiving?
Yeah, I guess so.
Your mom's turn to cook?
Unfortunately, yeah.
Oh, come here, bud.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da
Woo-Hoo
Da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da
You don't, you don't
gotta feel good
Doing things I never
thought I could
Smiling in the
mirror, I look good
Condition?
Dad, what the f*ck?
Robin, you're not healthy
right now. We need you healthy.
It's only a couple weeks.
Get yourself together.
You'll be ready to go
for the indoor season.
No, no, in 12 days,
I'm the number one seed
- at f*cking states.
- Robin.
No, I'm running.
Robin, we can't let
you compete right now.
Yes you can. Why can't you?
You and you should know
that. I, I'm, I'm running.
Robin. It's not up to us.
Yeah, you're right. It's not
up to you or you or anyone.
It's, it's my body. I, I,
there's no f*cking condition.
Ah, I'm fine. I'm
perfectly fine.
You're fine, Robin? You're fine?
Look at yourself.
Look at yourself.
Can you see yourself?
One moment you're
laughing and the next
no one can talk to you.
You're not you, Robin.
And you are k*lling me.
And you're k*lling
yourself, Robin.
You're really not
gonna let me run?
You can't. I'm sorry.
I'll never forgive you for this.
You know, Murray,
you've seen it before.
- Hi, girl!
- I know I've seen it.
- $10,000.
- No f*cking way.
I'd even let him
finish in my mouth
for another five grand.
I wouldn't even
start considering
- before a million.
- Oh, bullshit, Sauce.
You're telling me you
wouldn't take $999,000
for a little bit of
man meat in your mouth?
I definitely wouldn't
do it for 10,000.
You're gonna need that
money to pay for college.
We all know you're not
getting any scholarships.
I'd bet Pills would give money.
Pills, yo.
- How much?
- I'm with Sauce.
- Thank you, man.
- Oh, f*ck off.
All of you.
Kurt can f*ck. f*ck.
Jesus Christ.
Scared the sh*t outta me.
Can you hand me that?
- Are you okay?
- Just dandy.
- Are you avoiding me?
- I've been busy.
You weren't at practice again.
My left foot's
been bothering me.
What's with the hundred
billion questions?
- I don't how you do that.
- Do what?
The ice bath. It
seems so painful.
I don't know. I guess
you just get used to it.
Does it work?
Can you actually take me home?
Maybe you're beautiful
It doesn't mean that
I'll stay, oh, no
So I'm just saying
Can you come in?
Hey.
Oh, hey, Will.
It was my wife's pick.
It's not really my thing.
It's really cool.
I think she hates me now.
I don't think she hates you.
Hmm.
Oh, what do I do, Will?
I know she'll come around.
Well, at least she usually does.
She's the best.
Yeah, she is.
- First meet tomorrow?
- Yeah.
That's awesome. Run fast.
Thanks. I'll try.
Let me know if she
needs anything.
Come, sit.
Ta-da!
I was between this
and Willpower.
Please don't do that.
It's embarrassing enough.
Don't say that. It's
not embarrassing.
- It's a meet for scrubs.
- Yeah, but you're my scrub.
That doesn't make
me feel any better.
Are you nervous?
Yeah, ah, I guess I am,
but shouldn't be though.
Just means you care.
I'm happy for you.
I know what else
makes you nervous.
- What?
- Me.
Because you care.
Have you ever done it before?
What? Yeah.
Have you?
- No you haven't.
- I know.
It's okay. I have
like one time before.
- With who?
- Does it matter?
Do you want to?
Okay.
Huh.
Oh, wait. I don't have a condom.
Don't worry. I haven't got my
period in like eight months.
- Are you pregnant?
- What the f*ck?
- No.
- I, I mean,
you don't, you don't look it.
Ah, just take your sh*t off.
Okay. Go ahead.
Hey, bud.
Did I wake you?
- Sorry.
- Will?
Did I do something wrong?
What the f*ck?
I'm sorry, I...
Ah. Can you just f*cking leave?
Located in the rear
end of the stadium.
Thank you to our friends in...
- How we feeling fellas?
- Good, coach.
Good. Glad to hear it.
See how it goes today.
- Any advice, coach?
- Run fast.
- Let's go, Pills!
- Hey, papi!
Whoa, let's go!
Runners get set.
It's on and it's
on and it's on
Party every day, but
sick of having fun
Party every day, but
sick of having fun
Try to be yourself;
I'll try to be myself
And party every day
Party every day, but
sick of having fun
Party every day, but
sick of having fun
Yeah!
Yeah. Get it, baby boy.
Popped the ole race cherry!
- Not bad, Will.
- Yeah?
46 out of 63.
Yeah, you'll be all right.
Go ahead and cool it down.
- We'll see you in the van.
- Yeah, I'll be right there.
Okay.
- You all right?
- Ah, yeah.
I can't, um, seem
to find my pants.
We've all been there.
Did really great today.
- You don't have to lie to me.
- Yeah, you're right.
You sucked a*s.
Ah, I, I didn't
know you were here.
I, ah, I was a bit late, but
I had to take my dad's Jeep.
Um, I caught your finish though.
- No poster?
- No poster.
Pretty sure you would've
won out there today.
Yeah, probably.
Um, I am really
sorry for last night.
Ah, I didn't mean to
freak you out like that.
Let's go, Pills!
I gotta go. I think coach
would actually leave me here.
Yeah, yeah. Probably would.
Um, can I see you tonight?
Like maybe when
you're back and...?
Oh, I, um, I, I, I can't.
We have P, P and P Night.
- Yeah.
- I don't know.
Spanks says it's mandatory.
Yeah. No worries.
Kiss her!
I gotta go. I'll,
I'll see you later.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye, Will.
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
f*ck, f*ck!
- f*ck me!
- No, no, no!
Not the little guy!
- Ah, there they are!
- Oh my God!
What the f*ck are we doing?
What's that, Sauce?
- What is this?
- Hey, Sauce.
You wanna run fast
at states next week?
What, what does this
have to do with anything?
This.
This has everything
to do with it.
Hey, hey, Sauce. Let
me ask you something.
When you think of West Penn
XC, what's the very first word
that comes into the little
egghead brain of yours?
- Uh.
- Uh, uh, uh, drr.
- Toad?
- m*therf*cking greatness!
Hey, Sauce, you know what
it takes to achieve greatness?
And I didn't think so.
Greatness starts with tradition.
This, all of this
right here, fellas.
This is tradition.
This is greatness.
Pretty stupid f*cking tradition.
What'd you say, Sauce?
No, I didn't say anything, man.
Get the f*ck out.
- What?
- Get the f*ck out!
f*cking f*gg*t.
Pills, dropping a deuce.
No, I'm, um, I'm leaving.
What?
- I'm going home.
- The f*ck you are.
- Sit your a*s back down.
- No.
Pills, sit your a*s down.
No. f*ck you, L.J.
What the hell's your problem?
You're being an
as*h*le to Sauce.
What? You're mad that I
kicked out your butt buddy?
I didn't realize you were
trying to hook up with Sauce.
Sorry I c*ck-blocked
you, g*y boy.
Shut up.
Ah later, g*y boy.
Don't k*ll yourself with a
huge f*cking dildo tonight.
f*ck!
What the f*ck is your problem?
- I'm not f*cking g*y!
- Dude, it's all right
if you are, all right?
Wouldn't surprise anyone here.
I f*cked Robin.
Oh, no, no. I, I definitely
believe that one, yeah.
- I did.
- Hey, okay, man.
You're just f*cking jealous.
Jea, ah, yeah.
Are, are you seeing this?
The the same f*cking
kid who literally tried
to commit suicide is saying
I'd be jealous of him.
I mean, (laughs)
this f*cking kid.
Yeah, Toad, toss me my phone.
Hey man, let's just
try to bring it back.
Yeah, phone!
- What are you doing?
- Jealous.
Hey, what are you
doing? That's not funny.
Oh, I'm just calling
your girl Robin.
Gonna ask her how epic the sex
is with Willy Sins over here.
- Stop, hang up.
- Oh, it's ringing.
- It's ringing.
- Dude, f*cking hang up!
We Didn't do anything. Okay?
We didn't.
Gotcha!
I knew you were lying, g*y boy.
Not lying. We, we almost did.
Oh, yeah, almost did it?
What, what'd you miss
the hole or something?
My brain was all over
the place, and, um,
she's going through
her own sh*t,
and, ah, (sighs)
I, I don't know.
It was depressing me.
I, I felt bad for her.
You went soft on her.
No f*cking way!
You really are g*y!
- Shut the f*ck up.
- Hey, someone get g*y boy
over here some toppings
for his soft serve.
It's not funny.
Look, ladies and gents, we
got the original Kohr Bro
in the house tonight.
Give him a round of
applause. Come on.
Yeah.
Calculator trick, every time.
Jesus! f*ck!
What is wrong with you? What
the f*ck is wrong with you?
What the f*ck is wrong with you?
Rob? Hey, Robin.
- Will.
- Who is it?
Don't worry, honey.
It's will Davey.
Hey, Will. What's going on, bud?
What are you doing here?
Well, what?
- Don't f*cking call me that.
- Whoa, whoa, Will.
Why do you have that?
Why me?
What? What, what do you mean?
Will, Will, why
do you have that?
Why me?
Will, what?
You really f*cked me up.
Will, what?
I was like nine.
- f*cking nine!
- You're not
- thinking straight.
- What did you see in me?
I mean, what was it about me?
- You're being crazy, Will.
- I'm not f*cking crazy.
You're f*cking weird.
All this sh*t is so
f*cked because of you!
That's not fair, Will.
We, we can we can
talk this out, bud.
Will, you're not gonna sh**t me.
Will.
Oh my God.
It doesn't f*cking work.
I tested it the
other day. You know?
I was gonna use it to
blow my brains out,
but it doesn't f*cking work.
It doesn't f*cking work!
f*ck!
Oh my God, Andrew, what
was that? Was that a g*n?
Are you okay? I'll
call the cops.
No, no! Just, it's nothing,
it's okay, it's okay.
- What, what, what happened?
- Just get in the house.
Get inside.
Are you bleeding?
You're worth it.
You're worth it.
You're worth it.
You're worth it.
Oh, my love
But I was caught up, ah,
in physical attraction
Ooh, but to my satisfaction
Baby you were more
than just a phrase
Hey, dude.
You're home early.
Did you have fun with the guys?
Yeah.
That's great.
f*ck.
f*ck.
Dad!
Dad!
Dad!
Hey, you've reached a girl.
If you're part of the
problem, hang up right now.
If you're part of the solution,
maybe just text instead.
This isn't 2001. Okay, peace.
The mailbox is full. I cannot...
Mm.
Your daughter's life.
The fact of the matter
is that hormones,
emotion and menstruation
come right alongside her
day to day struggles.
- There are bound
to be - Hello?
Some situations,
men just don't...
- This is Robin's father.
- So when you don't know
the answers to your
daughter's questions,
- Uh-huh.
- Look for them.
She's not there?
Like this guy's
from another planet.
Hey, what is that?
No, no. You're gonna show
me what you were looking at.
- It's nothing, man.
- Is it Tattle?
Why were you looking
at me? Is it about me?
Yeah, but, but it wasn't
us though. I swear.
Dude, that's my phone.
Oh, f*ck. Not again.
It's the king
- of soft-serve!
- Fro-Yo Baggins.
Hey, it's g*y boy.
Pills, dude! What the
actual f*ck is going on?
I'm sorry. I, I'm sorry.
O.J., I'm sorry. Are you okay?
I'm sorry. I, I
shouldn't have done that.
You hit like a lame b*tch.
How's it look?
Ah, God, you're,
it's f*cking broken.
Jizz, we're gonna need a tampon.
Grab my phone. I
need a pic of this.
So sorry, man.
Nah, I definitely deserved that.
f*ck. Sorry about
everything I said, man.
I love the sh*t out
of you, brother.
I love you too, man.
Hey, Sauce. You want
your shot now too?
No.
Dude, I would not
f*ck with pills.
Freaking Superman
punched your a*s, Spanks.
Hey, how about my
iron chin, though?
- I took that sh*t like champ.
- No way, dude.
Pills rocked your a*s.
Hey, would you,
um, mind deleting
that thing you wrote on Tattle?
Dude, it wasn't even me.
Uh, that's, that's my bad dude.
I'll, ah, I'll delete
that when we get back.
f*ck you, Toad.
- Ooh, whoa!
- Get you!
Robi?
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay.
Oh. You're okay.
Okay. You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay. Yes.
It's okay. It's okay.
Okay. Okay.
She's gonna be, be okay.
Gonna be okay.
Be okay, she's gonna be okay.
Hey, you've reached your girl.
If you're part of the
problem, hang up right now.
If you're part of the solution,
maybe just text instead.
This isn't 2001. Okay, peace.
Hey, you've reached your girl.
If you're part of the
problem, hang up right now.
If you're part of the solution,
maybe just text instead.
This isn't 2001. Okay, peace.
It's all in the neck. That's
the thing about steak.
- It's not soft, it's rrr!
- Hey, you've reached
your girl.
If you're part of the
problem, hang up right now.
If you're part of the solution,
maybe just text instead.
This isn't 2001.
So instead of doing a
traditional exam today,
I'm going to actually
be doing a mock trial.
So half of you're going
to be on the prosecution.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Will, right?
Have a seat from me, please.
Will, I'm Officer Rosen.
Coach Alexander tells me you
were close with Robin Young.
Yes. Is she all right?
Will, um, I'm sorry to be
the one to tell you this,
but Robin took her own
life yesterday morning.
Oh, okay.
I'm sorry.
Is it okay if we ask you
some questions about her?
Will? Will?
When was the last time
you spoke with Robin?
Maybe we can give
him a little time.
Have you had any
contact with Robin
from the night before?
Will?
Hey, sit down!
Will.
- Will.
- Will.
Will!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Will!
- Look away!
I, I didn't sh**t. She
needs to know I regret it.
Ah, she needs to know!
Ah!
I'm f*cking listening!
Are you happy?
Okay.
Oh, I can't breathe
There's no place in this
world that is meant for me
I, I can't sleep.
But does it feel like
God don't care about me
Does it feel like God
don't care about me
Oh, Mom and Dad
Swear on my life I
gave it all I had
Oh, still in my grieve
I ain't going to
make it home today
No, I ain't gonna
make it home today
I've got fire
left in my veins
And part of my heart
still feels things
Oh, with thoughts
stealing my pain
And I'm gonna try
this another day
I go most days, I
don't understand
What it means to be a brother,
what it means to be a man
Past six weeks, I
spoke to my friends
It's probably my fault
they think I'm dead
I lost my pride
and I lost my way
This is all times that
my father would say
Your life's so easy,
it ain't worth a damn
Maybe one day I
might understand
I've got fire
left in my veins
Part of my heart
still feels the same
Oh, if I feel it
in my veins, yeah
I'm gonna try
this another day
I met a young girl
Big brown eyes
changed my whole world
Took a journey past
the things we knew
Got us a dog and
then we set our dues
Whispered to me,
do you ever regret
Thinking about if we'd
be better off dead
I was thinking the places
you worried I'd see
But they would
never be you and me
They would never be you and
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I Think I'm Sick (2023)
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