05x21 - Wrapper's Delight

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: Coming up,
why is Joe going loco?

Chicken, family, you know it.

Narrator:
What's got murr squishy with it?

And which losing joker
will suffer a punishment

that's a little too close
to home?

Sal:
Prepare for something amazing.

Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?

Murr:
I want my mommy!

Sal:
I will never forgive you!

Joe: Larry!

Hi, I'm sal, and today, we'll be
working as managers at Hooters.

Hi, I'm q.

Today while working,
we're gonna have to do

and say whatever
the other guys tell us to.

Hi, I'm murr.

If you refuse to do anything,
you lose.

Hi, I'm Joe.

Hi, guys.
How are you today?

Is everything good?
The food's good? Okay.

Murr, tell them
that other patrons

are complaining about them.

My name's James.
I'm the manager.

Um, folks have been, uh... uh,

complaining to the waitress
about, uh...

Apparently, they think
you keep looking over

at their table
and staring at them,

and it's making them
a little uncomfortable.

I'm sure it's just
a misunderstanding.

Uh, try to be a little sensitive
to be not staring at people.

Was that her?
- No, no, I wish it was.

Tell them, "you know what,
I'm gonna go throw those
people out."

You know what?
I'm on your side here.

Maybe I should just throw
those people out.

So you know, okay?

Just go to another table
so they see you.

Hi, guys.
How are you?

I'm James.
I'm one of the managers here.

Tell them loudly
to get out somehow.

I like you guys.
You guys are awesome.
Thank you.

If you guys weren't so cool,

I would tell you to get out!

Get out of here right now.

Yes! Do it again,
do it again, do it again!
One more time.

I wouldn't say that, 'cause
you're lovely people.

Honestly, get out.

Ow!

Ow, ow!
I've been spiked.

There's a spike in
the Hooters surfboard?

- Murr.
- Yes?

Go to the guy closest to you...
White hair.

Excuse me one second, sir.

"You smell just like
my mom's boyfriend."

You know what?
I'm... i'm

I meant to tell you this before.

You smell exactly like
my mother's boyfriend.

Sniff his chest.

Yeah, same smell.

It's the same scent
as my mother's boyfriend.

"Do any of you ladies
need a job?"

Come on, pal.

Do either of you ladies
need a job?

"We're opening up
a spin-off called saggies."

I... there's no way...

I'm gonna get you your beers.

How you guys making out?
Everything okay?

Two more drinks?
- Yeah.

Sal: Sure, sure.

Hi, how are you?
- Hey, what's going on, guys?

Um, they just need a couple of
refills on their drinks here.

- Absolutely.
- She's great.

She'll have your drinks
right away.

"Beautiful, too,
isn't she?"

She's beautiful.

Really, one of my favorites.

She's really beautiful,
very talented, very voluptuous.

- "She's my daughter."
- She's my daughter.

I gave her the curves
in all the right places.

"She didn't get it from her
mother, I'll tell you that."

She didn't get it from her
mother, I'll tell you that.

How you guys doing?
Everything good?

Just turn over your shoulder
and say, "enough!" To no one.

If you need anything,
I'm sal, the manager.

Enough!

If you need anything,
I'm sal, the manager.

I'll help you out, so just...

Where you from?

- Spain.
- Spain?

"I said, 'enough.'"

you have nice weather,
I... enough!

You have very nice weather.

Enjoy.

If you need anything,
I'll be right over here.

You just let me know.

Sal, sit at that table by
yourself with your back to them

and start having a conversation
with your fake friend.

I'm talking
to these people over here,

and you're acting like that?

I'm here.
I'm doing a double shift.

Do you think I need this
from you right now?

I'm doing a double shift.

Sal, get your hair
shaking, buddy.
Go.

Get your hair shaking.

It's the dog days
of summer out there.

I'm working
a double shift today,

and you're giving me stuff
like this all the time.

- Look at this hair!
- That's why.

Good, now yell at the table,
"enough."

Hold on one second.
Enough.

Got it.

- Now get up and walk away.
- I'll talk to you later.

Kiss it.
Kiss it goodbye.

Kiss it goodbye.

So stupid.

Hi, ladies.
I'm Joe, the manager.

- Hi.
- How are we doing?

- "I've been here a year."
- I've been here a year.

"I used to work over
at titty chicken."

I used to work over at, uh...

What was the name
of the other place?

It was titty chicken.
It was titty chicken.

Q: Wow.
All right, Joe.

Gesticulate your hands wildly,
and you can only say the words

"chicken," "family,"
and "you know it."

Okay, well, you know,
uh, there's chicken.

You know it.

Uh, you know, with the family...
The chicken, you know it.

There's everything
all around it.

You can say "manager" now, too.

Chicken, family, you know it.

And then chicken and family...
No, manager.

But the family and then the
chicken and you know it, so...

Chicken, family, manager...

You know it.

Thanks.

I want you to just walk
past that table now,

just saying,
"chicken, family, you know it."

Chicken, family, you know it.

Chicken, family, you know it.

Chicken, family.

- Are you... are you looking?
- Chicken, family, you know it.

Joe, grab a glass and approach
the table looking at the map.

So, you're trying to figure out
where you're going?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Start talking about
the babes in this place.

That's good.
Well, you came in here, right?

You know, it's known
for the babes, this place.

And now start tapping your
wedding ring against the glass.

Right.
It didn't work over there.

Well, I mean, america's all
about the hot babes.

We got so many babes
in here that I just...

Like Samantha here, Jennifer.

Oh, my god, don't even get me...
Oh, god.

Q: Wait a minute...
When that girl walks by,

go, "oh, she's working?"

- Oh, she's working?
- Take your ring off.

Um...
Come on, that's enough.

My kryptonite.

Murr:
All right, hey, bud.

Why don't you go up
to this new table

and say, "hey, Tony gunk,
future astronaut."

- How you guys doing?
- We're good.

Tony gunk, future astronaut.
How you doing?

Tony gunk, future astronaut.

For now, I'm the manager.

Is there anything
that I can get you guys?

Uh...

"I got hot sauce,
I got napkins."

Listen to me, I got hot sauce.

- Hot sauce.
- I got napkins.

- "I got out of jail recently."
- I got out of jail recently.

Whatever you guys need, I have.

"I just quit drugs, dudes,"
and then air-guitar.

I just quit drugs, dude.

Wawhm-wawhm!

"No, you didn't."

Did that guy say,
"no, you didn't"?

Hey, how's it going, man?
I'm Brian, the manager.

They got you so far?
You're all set?

"Hey, buddy, eyes up here."

Eyes up here.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

My eyes are up here.

- Whoa!
- Wow!

I guess you can
just go back topless.

Think I won't do it?

You don't think I'll do it?

Murr:
I can't believe it!

You don't "that's enough" us!

We "that's enough" you!
- Wow.

A rare cameo by q's t*ts.

Narrator: Murr and Joe are being
sent back to the kitchen

and then to the loser board.

We're here at the palisades mall

and we got a song stuck
in our head.

But we can't remember
who sings it,

so we're gonna get some help
figuring it out.

The thing is, all the weird
details about the song

and the artist will be given
to us by the other guys.

If you can't get
someone to guess

who sings that song, you lose.
- Bruno Mars!

- Yes!
- Yes!

- That's it!
- That's it!

Excuse me.

Do you... do you listen
to the radio?

I got a song stuck in my head.

I'm trying to figure out
who sings this song.

- "The lead singer..."
- The lead singer of the band...

Murr: "She was rescued
from the rainforest

and forced into music."

she was rescued
from the rainforest...

And forced into music.

She never wanted to do music.

"She sang that song..."

She sang that song...
The song goes like this...

♪ fresh, boom, bap

♪ i'ma touch it

♪ fresh, boom, bap

♪ i'ma touch it

"now she's playing
mufasa on Broadway."

She plays mufasa
on Broadway now.

Oh, because mufasa's
not a female?

Oh, that makes it even sillier.

"I know that when they pulled
her out of the rainforest..."

When they pulled her out
of the rainforest...

"she had a disease that
k*lled half of Brazil."

she had a...
She had a...

She had a disease
that k*lled half of Brazil.

♪ Fresh, boom, bap

♪ i'ma touch it

"she's married
to a Jonas sister."

She's married to one
of the Jonas sisters.

They have a lesser-known sister.

She was a...
She was in I.T.

Put... put "rainforest,"
I guess.

"Plucked
from rainforest."

Yeah!

- Wow.
- Wow, he worked for that one.

- Got it.
- You did a good thing.

Thanks, man.

♪ Fresh, boom, bap

♪ i'ma touch it

q: Here we go.

No, hon, I'll wait out here.

- Fake wife, fake life.
- That's not true.

- Oh.
- Oh.

You think I'm touching
that ever again?

I just spit on the Mike.

You saw the clump of potato?

Bleh!

- It's still around.
- It shot out.

It was all gooey and coagulated.

What happened?
I'm not even touching
that, either.

It hit my hand.
It didn't land on the Mike.

Bleh!

Q: All right, Joe,
a lot happened back here.

Sorry.

Hey, you ever get a song stuck
in your head?

I got this song stuck
in my head.

I can't get rid of it.

It's a really good group...
Very hip.

"They did a secret show
inside a buffalo carcass."

They did a secret show...
Like an underground show...

Inside a buffalo carcass.

The only lyric I remember is...

♪ "baby, baby, baby,
baby, baby, baby,

baby, baby, baby, baby..." ♪

♪ baby, baby, baby, baby, baby,

baby, baby, baby,
baby, baby... ♪

-♪ baby, baby, baby, baby
-♪ baby, baby, baby, baby

♪ baby, baby, baby, baby

♪ baby, baby, baby, baby

♪ baby, baby, baby, baby

♪ baby, baby, baby,
baby, baby, baby ♪

you get it.

You know it?
No?

Well, take care, buddy.
Thanks.

♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby

♪ baby, baby, baby

pbht!

Do you know music at all?

I got this song stuck
in my head.

I'm trying to figure out
who sings it.

"In the '80s,
he was known for a song."

In the '80s, the lead singer
was known for a song.

"called 'mondo dook.'"

called...

Called "mondo dook"...
Was the name of the song.

His follow-up song
after that was...

"Luann, luann,
who the luann?"

There's a lyric in the song,
it went...

♪ Luann, luann

♪ who the is luann?

You know?

Yeah, you know that song, right?
Yeah.

Q:
"His face looks like this."

And now just
smush your face back.

His face looks like this.

♪ Luann, luann

♪ who the
is luann? ♪

Like that.
Like... you know?

Yes, you...

His face is like...

I know.
It's been a while.

"Mondo dook."

It's m-o-n...

No, that's just a picture of

- all right, man.
- Aw, you didn't get nothing?

The guy's Google searching
"mondo dook."

I mean, he gets it.
- You got to give it to him.

You got to give it to him.

Thank you for looking it up.
I appreciate it, bud.

We'll give it
to you anyway, buddy.

Yes!

Hey, you guys know
anything about music?

Like, how old are you guys?

There's a song stuck in my head,
and I can't remember it.

It's this band.

"They did a concept album
about dinosaur sex."

They did, uh, uh,
this whole concept album

about dinosaur sex.

Is that ringing a bell yet?

Murr: "I got a song lyric
that they sing."

One of the lyrics
goes like, um...

♪ "big boys know how to kiss
like this... mwah, mwah." ♪

♪ big boys know
how to kiss like this ♪

♪ smooch, smooch

♪ big boys know how
to kiss like this ♪

♪ smooch, smooch!

None of that is ringing a bell?

"My dinosaur life"! That's it.
- That's it!
- That's it!

They got it.

Thank you so much.
Thank you.

"My dinosaur life."

♪ big boys like to kiss
like this ♪

♪ smooch, smooch!

Narrator:
Joe couldn't name that tune,

so he'll be signing
his way to the loser board.

Today, Joe and murr
are going head to head

invading people's
personal spaces.

The goal is to lay up
next to sunbather

as close as possible
without being asked to leave.

If you can't hang out near
that person, you lose.

- I've already won.
- Oh!

Q: All right,
here he goes.

You have to invade people's
space without them

asking you to leave or move.

- He's in.
- There he goes.

Joe: You could have walked
that far.

You didn't have
to start crawling yet.

Just let him go.

He's crawling over dog poop.

He's crawling over everything,

and he's still not gonna
be able to pull it off.

- Yeah, grass stains.
- What are you worried about?

- This is true.
- Just enjoy this.

Are you trying to crawl directly
up this man's

you're on that foot,
look at that.

Head to foot.
- Wow.

Sal: This guy's gonna
accidentally kick him in face.

A girl could dream, can't she?

Whoa.

Whoa.

You knocked my coffee
right over.

Excuse you.

You're putting the blame
on the guy?

I've been here for a while.

I've been here like four
or five hours.

That didn't work at all.

Q: He's just crawling
away?

You can get up and walk.

So, murr, you played shirts?

- Yeah.
- All right, I'll be skins.

I'm gonna pop
this shirt off real quick.

Murr:
That's not gonna help.

That's gonna hurt you.

Whew, it's so much cooler
in the shade.

You got the right idea...
Popped up in the shade.

It gets too hot out there.

Q: "This
middle-aged creep

with his belly
talking to me."

Okay, guys, this feels so wrong.

I'm just gonna walk away with my
tail between my legs right now.

Whew.

So much warmer
out here in the sun.

I was in shade.
I got cold.

Did you, uh,
get in the shade or no?

No, it's on its way over.
Be careful.

Doesn't matter...
This still doesn't feel right.

How we doing?
All right?

Chillin' out, baby.

Scooch.

Sal: Oh, my god!

I'm not sweating.
I was in the shade.

It's so much cooler
in the shade.

- What was your name?
- Uh, Gary.

Joe.

I'm a comfortable guy.

It's cold in the shade, huh?

No, this one's mine, murr.
Nice try.

I was here first.
- Much warmer in the sun.

I got cold.
I was in the shade, I got cold.

Q: That was ballsy, murr.

We're gonna give you
the thumbs-up after all.

Oh, I'm sorry.
How rude am I being?

Gary, murr.
Murr, Gary.

What's up, Gary?
What's up, murr?
How are you?

I'm doing well, thanks.

Narrator:
Joe and murr had fun in the sun,

but with two thumbs-down,
Joe is tonight's big loser.

All right,
so it's Joe's punishment today.

You might notice he's not
with us.
Mm-hmm.

That's because we sent him
on a wild goose chase today

while we post up at his house
and prepare his birthday gift.

It was just his birthday
the other day,

so we decided he needs
something really big.

Q: Our crew
is inside Joe's house

helping us get
his present ready.

We're just gonna hang today
and wait till he gets here.

So, this is where it says to go.

I guess that's what
we've been driving for.

Hm.

These guys.

My family is in trouble.

My house has been invaded.

Joey is now pulling up
to his house.

He has no idea what to expect.

Joey is now pulling up
to his house.

Q: Here he goes.
Here he goes.

All right.

♪♪

So, my whole house
is covered in wrapping paper.

Including my furniture.

All right, so,
the floor's gift wrapped.

This is insane.

This is some serious...
This is a fire hazard.

Hey, buddy, what's up?

Oh, there you are.
Hey, boys.

We're in a secret location.

You're probably
wrapped somewhere.

Boys, do you need me
to find you?

Make noise!

You wrapped my bananas, guys.

Oh, guys.

Not the glassware.

It's like the worst episode
of "cribs" I've ever seen.

Are these all presents?

Murr: Anything with bows
on it is special.

Like I'd have this up
in my home.

We replaced all Joe's photos.

Yeah.
There he is.

Oh, there he is.

Yep, there's sexiness.

Yep, that's when I had my
out at a urinal.

This is Milana's.

Oh, god, her blocks?

Wow, you guys did go all out.
Cheers to you.

Sal: You know what
the great thing is, Joe?
What's that, pal?

We're just all leaving now.

So I have to unwrap
my whole house.

And you have to unwrap
your whole house alone.

Sal: We got one more
actual gift for you

for your birthday
on that dining room table.

We do love you.

- This?
- That's it.

- Happy birthday, buddy.
- Happy birthday, Joey.

Is it gift wrap?

'Cause I've been meaning
to do some updating.

Boys, hats off to you.
This a good one.

- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday, buddy.

And I can't wait
till your birthdays.

Party's over.

It's all connected.

Murr: Oh, god.

Look at all the wrapping paper.

This is only one part
of the house?

You know what?
I'm just gonna move.