01x18 - Buzz Blitzman, Mighty Duck!

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ On the road to glory ♪

♪ Ain't no coming back ♪

♪ It's got to be
the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ On a quack attack! ♪

♪ Look out, clear the way ♪

♪ The Ducks
are here to play! ♪

♪ Ducks rock! ♪

[fans cheering]

[c.speakerTop]♪ Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! ♪

♪ Here come the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Burning up the ice ♪

♪ Just try and stop
the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ And you're gonna
pay the price ♪

♪ Here come the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Fighting for the gold! ♪

♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Time to rock and roll! ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go! ♪

♪ Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! ♪

♪ Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! ♪

[tires screech]

[gasps]

Welcome to my humble abode.

We're always looking
for fresh brains.

[sinister laugh]

Good disguise, huh?

Well, come on, come on.

There's someone
to see you, Sir.

A Mr. Fred Singer, a friend
from Unbridled Technologies.

Get in here, you big palooka.

[trembling]

Hello, Lord Dragaunus.

I trust you brought me
something valuable
this time, Singer.

Oh, yes. I--Ooh!
[stuttering]

Oh, my. Oh-- Here.

The structure
of these molecules,

it's identical
to Bellarium crystal,

the very thing I need
to re-power this ship!

But this piece of paper
is useless

without the rest
of the formula!

The scientist who invented it
is keeping it all in his head.

Chameleon, bring him here
from Unbridled Technologies

so we may... convince him

to give it to us.

Piece of cake.
I'll disguise myself

as one of earths
top technicians.

Now, tell me about the genius
who invented this?

Ooh. All right. But, er,
I think you'll be surprised.

He's not what you'd expect.

[c.speakerTop][TV] An incredible
come-from-behind victory

[c.speakerTop]for theMighty Ducks!

[boy] Those Mighty Ducks
are the greatest superheroes

in the history of
the known cosmos.

If I weren't stuck here,

I could be a crime fighter
just like them.

Buzz Blitsman,
the Midnight Avenger,

striking terror in the dark
underbelly of Anaheim.

[groans]
I just gotta meet 'em tomorrow!

Especially Mallory.

Her slap shot is so...

[groans]

Well, good evening, Bernie.

[groans]

I told you, call me Buzz!

Oh, right. Buzz.

This crystal super-fuel
is quite a discovery, Buzz.

Have you finished the formula?

It's right here.

And you don't it till you
let me go out when I want to.

Oh, I'm sorry,
but as your custodian

and as your boss,
I can't allow it.

Buzz, do you have any idea
how many people would love

to get their hands
on that brilliant mind
of yours?

What if something were
to happen to you? Terrible.

Oh, I'm gonna meet
the Mighty Ducks tomorrow

no matter what.

[computer beeps]

There's only one time they open

all the doors in this place,

and that's during a fire drill.

[wrenching]

Can you give me a hand?

What is it? I'm kinda busy.

Oh, yeah?

Too busy to go
on a little trip?

-[gasps]
-[both grunting]

[alarm sounds]

[Announcer]
Attention! Attention!

This is a fire drill.

Please proceed
to nearest exit.

-Let go!
-[thumps]

Ow! Hey, kid.
Come back!

112, 112. I lost the kid.

-What?
-Not to worry, boss.

I can follow him
with the homing beacon
I planted on him.

But I could sure
use some help.

Seige! Stop work
on the escape pod conversion.

I've got a job for you.

[people cheering]

"Wacky Golfland welcomes
the Mighty Ducks?"

[hooting excitedly]

I'm King Duffer, you know,

ruler of Wacky Golfland.

Welcome to my golfing kingdom.
[chuckling]

Well, Phil.

You finally destroyed
our last shred of dignity.

Cool it! King Duffer's a very
important guy around here.

He's got a lot of pull!

Wow! The Mighty Ducks!

It's really you!

The fowl of
evildoers everywhere,

the scourge of crime
and corruption.

Hey, show me some moves.
Can I fly the Aerowing?

Where's your super secret
headquarters?

What's the password?

Mellow out, little friend.

I wanna know everything
about you!

Tell me how you defeated
Dr. Droid

and his mechanical army
of evil, or the time when--

Look, if we give you
an autograph,

would you just,
you know, go away?

-[zap]
-Whoa!

[people screaming]

Rip it up! [laughs]

Ducks, battle gear!

[boom]

[crash]

[all grunting]

Yeah! [chuckles]
Come on, Ducks, go, go!

They're chucking
into the boards!

Way to go!

[laser fires]

That's it, Mallory.
Blast 'em, blast 'em!

Quiet!
You're throwing off my aim.

Come here, kid.

Just show me a puck launcher

and I'll show those beans!

Stay put and keep down.

[firing shots]

I'll handle the Ducks.
Get the boy!

They're not after us?

They're after that kid.

Say goodnight, Gracie.

Get back!

[boom]

[rumbling]

[Seige] All right, kid.

You're the property
of Dragaunus now.

[gasps]

Eh? The Ducks are finished.

-No one can save you.
-[grunting]

[Ducks grunting]

Don't bet on it, Seige.

Huh?

Ha-ha!

The forces of evil
flee like rats

under the onslaught
of the Mighty Ducks.

Shut your face!

I'll get him!

Give me that kid, Seige!

-Argh! [yells]
-[splash]

[croaks]

[splutters]

[smash]

You think
you're full of brains?
I'll get you for this!

[Buzz] I'm Buzz Blitsman,
the Midnight Avenger,

the caped wonder who defeats
criminals throughout the city.

From my secret headquarters
at Seaside Park,

I strike fear in the hearts
of evildoers everywhere.

Eat protons, alien scum!

This just doesn't make sense.

Why would Dragaunus be
after a kid?

Yeah, why won't the kid
tell us about himself?

Yeah, maybe he would,
to the right duck.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'd rather eat a bowl of worms.

[chuckles] He obviously has
a crush on you, sweetheart.

Just try to, you know,
draw him out.

[game music playing]

Look, Mallory,
fancy sh**ting, huh?

Listen, you're a bright kid.

Any idea why Dragaunus
is after you?

You make a lot of enemies
in the hero business.

Drink blazing electric deaths!

Space zombies!

Argh! Will you stop
fooling around?

[boom]

Attention, Ducks!

I'm taking the kid,
and you cannot stop me.

[shots fired]

[bang]

Okay, maybe you can stop me.

But you won't stop them!

-[gasps]
-Run!

-[shots fired]
-[laughing]

It's Buzz Blitsman
to the rescue!

Take over, kid.

[all grunting]

[grunting]

Knock it off!

You're gonna frag somebody
with that thing!

I was only trying to help.

Just stay out of my face!

Okay, fine.

I don't care if
I ever see you again.

[shots being fired]

[smash]

[boom]

Argh!

We'll be back after this word
from our sponsors.

Where's Buzz?

Hey, how did he
get away so fast?

But why did he split?
I thought he was

our, you know, numero unofan.

[engine revs]

It's my fault. I shouldn't have
popped off at him like that.

I'm going to find him.

Nosedive, go with her.

I'm on it.

You are the direct descendants
of the Saurian Warlords,

the most ruthless conquerors
the universe has ever seen,

and you cannot capture
a mere boy?

Okay, okay, so we're having
an off day, boss.

The as*ault vehicle
is complete, Dragaunus.

With its firepower,
the Ducks will be neutralized.

Hey, I like a wild goose-chase
just as much as the next duck,

but that kid could be anywhere.

Remember what he said
about his secret headquarters

at Seaside Park?

That dump's been abandoned
for, like, years!

So, what better place
to play superhero?

-[sniffing]
-[weeping]

No one cares about me.

They all hate me.

[motorcycle whirring]

[tires screeching]

Hey there, Buzz!

Pretty cool
secret headquarters.

How did you find out about it?

My folks used to bring me here

before the accident.

You mean, you're an orphan?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, come on, I want you
to come back with us.

No, you don't. [sniffs]

You hate me.

I don't hate you, Buzz.

Maybe if you be yourself,
I might even like you.

No. If I told you who I was,

you'd just take me back
to Unbridled Technologies.

You work
at Unbridled Technologies?

Yeah. I invent stuff for 'em.

That is really cool!
Like what?

Oh, jet engines, fuels,

I even came up with
the all day flavor formula

for Big Bang bubble gum.

Are you serious?

I love that stuff!

Yeah, I hate to break this up,
but, er,

those chumps got the drop
on us twice today, huh?

I'm starting to get
a little edgy!

Yeah. How do they always know

where Buzz is gonna be next?

I'll bet Chameleon has put,

like a homing device
on him somewhere.

Got it!

[boom]

[zapping continuously]

Hey! You're it.

Yo, hang on, man!
You creeps even cheat at tag!

[fires]

-[boom]
-[Buzz] Mallory!

-Argh!
-[crash]

That one's finished.

And we'll take this one
back to Dragaunus

for extra bonus points.

[sinister laugh]

[grunting]

-[bang]
-[grunting]

[beeping]

Mallory, come in!

They had a
homing device on Buzz.

They've got him.
Nosedive too!

Were you able to find out
why they want him?

I think so.

He works for
Unbridled Technologies.

Mallory, put that homing chip
in your remote link.

Yeah, I think they will
have the main beacon on.

I can program Drake One
to track down its source.

Ah, there. That's the location
of the Raptor.

[grunting]
Enjoy your moment of victory
while you can, evildoer.

When the Ducks get here...

Nosedive, oh, no!

Um, you were saying
something about Ducks?

You rancid reptiles
won't get away with this!

Silence, you miserable whelp!

You have exactly five seconds
to tell me the formula,

or I will launch your
feathered friend into orbit!

[Lord] Five.

Four.

Don't do it, kid!

[Lord] Three.

Two.

Okay, okay.

To make the fuel crystals,

take two parts carbon methane,
one part boron.

super-heat the mix
to 3,000 degrees when it cools.

It'll crystallize.

Aw, man!
I can't take you anywhere!

At last, the formula is mine!

You won't have time to use it,
alien scum.

When the Ducks get here--

Tie that brat to the torpedo

and launch them both
into space!

Well, I re-power
the Raptor's engines

and begin my conquest
of the world!

I gotta hand it to you, boss,

you really set
your career goals high.

That's the Raptor?

What a corny disguise.

Come on, Wildwing.

If we get lucky,
we might snag Dragaunus

as a bonus.

Eh, that didn't rhyme.

How do you like
my new toy, Ducks?

[zapping]

[all] Whoa!

[tires screeching]

[zapping]

as*ault mode!

[tires screeching]

[bouncing off]

[grunting] You slimy lizard!

Your evil schemes
are doomed to failure.

Er, normally, I'd have a bit
of an ethical problem,

launching a small child
into space,

However, you are definitely
going to the moon!

[grunts]

Sorry, no moon trips today.

Oh! [grunts]

[slash]

All right, Mallory!

A nerve-shattering last
second rescue, oh yeah!

[zapping]

[bouncing off]

Er, guys,
you'd better look at this!

[Nosedive] Oh. They aren't
putting a dent in it.

Maybe I can help.
It might have a weak spot.

There! That's it.

[zapping]

[smash]

[crash]

[Buzz] Wildwing, come in.
It's me, Buzz.

There's an intake valve
in the rear of that thing

If you can clog it,
the engine will blow sky-high!

We'll draw his fire.

[zapping]

All right, Ducks,
I'm gonna fry your feathers.

[thud]

Grin, get that blade off.

[grunts]

Armor is but an illusion.

[beeping]

Ah, that ought to clog it up!

[laughs]

Argh!

[buttons exploding]

She's gonna blow!

[boom]

Ha-ha! You did it, Buzz!

It worked.

Yeah, but old lizard lips
got the formula.

I never really bothered
thinking the formula through.

I'm not sure
it'll actually work. [chuckles]

Now that the Raptor's engines
have power once more,

we'll blast this planet flat!

[powering up]

[blasting off]

The Raptor soars again!

[explodes]

[boom]

[alarm sounds]

Something's wrong.
We're going down!

Engage the cloaking device.

That little wretch tricked us!

I'll find that twerp,

and make him give us
the real formula.

Are you out of your mind?

I'll find my own source
of Bellarium crystals.

I'll scour this planet
till Doomsday if I have to.

But I never want to see
that brat again,

as long as I live!

Let's see, a 30 percent
increase in salary,

some nice perks,
and he goes out?

Whenever he wants.
That should close the deal.

[sighs]

You drive a hard bargain,
Mr. Palmfeather.

Buzz, you really came through.

Is there anything else
we can do before you go?

Well, now that
you mention it...

It's engines roar to life,

as the Mighty Ducks
took off for danger!

The Aerowing blasted skyward,
heading straight for adventure!

[grumbling] I wonder if
the Mighty Cows have openings?

The Ducks have triumphed
once again,

thanks to their newest member,

Buzz Blitsman,

Mighty Duck!

[theme music playing]