01x17 - Monster Rally

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ On the road to glory ♪

♪ Ain't no turning back ♪

♪ It's got to be
the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ On a quack attack! ♪

♪ Look out, clear the way ♪

♪ The Ducks are here to play! ♪

♪ Ducks rock!♪

[fans cheering]

[c.speakerTop]♪ Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! ♪

♪ Here come the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Burning up the ice! ♪

♪ Just try and stop
the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ And you're gonna pay
the price! ♪

♪ Here come the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Fighting for the gold! ♪

♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Time to rock and roll! ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go! ♪

♪ Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! ♪

[Daddy-O] Yeah, easy breezy
in remotes-ville.

[engine starts]

Oh, yeah.

When I lay my hands
on that new super engine,

the world will be
a cooler place.

Can you dig it, Digger?

Oh, Daddy-O,
you are the most!

♪ Sh-pap-ash-ooaaa ♪

Drake One was right,
it's a break in.

I'd say it looks more like
a monster truck rally, bro.

Coming around for another pass.

I hate to be a bring down, man.

But you squares are violating
my air space.

Bulls-eye.

Whoever they are,
they're real gone.

[snaps fingers]

I don't believe it!
That funny car shot us down.

Now what do we do?

Well, we could sing a medley
of Show Tunes.

Heat up the Migrator.

[engine whirring]

Dig that crazy set of wheels.

[panics]
Keep moving, we're sitting...

Well, you know.

They'll keep tearing us apart.

At first we gotta
draw it forward

then deliver
the knockout punch.

Ugh! Would you just blow
that darn thing up?

Hey!

Uh...

Our Super Stock Micro Charge
monster mobile.

Trash, man, how are we gonna
steal that engine now?

Stay cool, D-I-double-gah-err.

I've just seen our new engine.

You mean...

[laughs]

That duck dragster, man.

It's a solid gasser.

I mean, I dig it the most.

I have concocted

a righteous plan.

[Digger] Daddy-O,
you're so far out, you're it!

[Tanya] Ah... the Dragaunus
didn't built this thing,

it's not his style.

[laughs] But still I enjoyed
our little demolition derby.


Oh, you did, huh?

Well, I don't think
the Migrator enjoyed it.

Wildwing, bubalah...

No.

What do you mean "No"?
You haven't heard the deal yet.

Read my beak.

Look, it's just
a personal appearance

for a charity car show.

At, uh... "Daddy-O-Cool's Desert
Speedway in Greased Palms."

The fans are dying
to see the Migrator.

[scoffs]
After what Duke did to it?

All they'll get is a good laugh.

Oh, man,
we finally get to show off

our awesome vehicle
and it's in the shop.

Whoa, Tanya!

How about that new rig
you've been working on?

you mean, the Mega Migrator-X2?

Oh, even better!

The public loves sequels.

O, Tanya, babe, sweetheart...

the fans will go nuts
for that thing.

Well, we've been looking
for a chance to road test it.

Maybe our simple drive to the
desert could be just the thing.

All right, Phil, we'll do it.

Yes! You are a prince
among ducks.

Uh, beautiful.

I'll go pack my desert threads.
Heh-ooh!

Hey, hey, you're staying
right here, pal.

You broke it,
you're gonna help fix it.

Oh, Tanya,
do I look like a mechanic?

Don't answer that. Look, I don't
even have the proper clothes.

Well, then you just
gonna have to get

your tail feathers dirty.

It's better if two
you stay in case Dragaunus

makes trouble while we're gone.

Ah... and I just had my do done.

[phone beeping]

Yeah, I dig, Mr. O-Cool.

You got yourself a deal.

You talk my language.

The Mighty Ducks will be there.

Or be square.

[Mallory] I don't see her fight,
she's running like a dream.

Yeah, it's got that great new
Migrator smell.

Straight from the old factory.

[Mallory] All right, we're
coming up on final approach.

Hey, hey, how about give me
a shot at it, bro?

Come on, man, I wanna try out
the Mega thrust-er.

All right, but watch your...

speeeeeeed!

There's the vehicle entrance.

[Mallory] Way to make
a wrong turn, Nosedive.

Hey, I just followed the sign,
Mallory.

-[rumbling]
-I'm getting a bad vibe.

Our vibes catching.

[all scream]

Doesn't thing have brakes?

They aren't working.

The chute's been greased!

[skids]

You know, a simple "come in'
would've sufficed.

What the heck is this place?

[Wildwing]
It looks like some kind of

wacked out demolition derby.

[Nosedive]
I'm hip to chat

but what's up
with the bubbling crude?

Hey, big Daddy-O, them squares
put a different set of wheels.

[Daddy-O] And it's an
even more righteous rod.

[Mallory] Heads up! Looks like
the derby's about to begin.

[Nosedive] And we are about
to get demolished!

[Daddy-O on PA]
Welcome, cats and kittens

to Daddy-O-Cool's
Track-O-Doom.

This place is strictly
wilds-ville, man.

So swing! Or be swung.

We have an advantage.

Our tactical skills?

Our quiet inner strength?

Our rugged good looks?

We beat one of those
monster trucks with a Migrator.

But the Mega Migrator
is twice as powerful.

Switching to battle mode.

Laser cannons deployed.

Have you got termites
in your woody, Daddy-O?

Yeah, them squares will blast
our trucks to junks-ville, man.

Stay mellow, fellow hipsters.

To the coolest
go the spoils, yeah.

Fire laser cannons!

Lasers are all fine.

Mallory, fire Mortars!

Mortars are...

Go! On their way to the moon.

Are they suppose to do that?

Deploying battering ram.

You know, I'm beginning
to think that this crate

has certain design flaws.

They're gonna ram us!

Raise the shields.

Doesn't anything work
on this hunk of junk?

Do we have
any other weapons left?

Are you kidding, this thing
couldn't fire a spitball.

[thud]

I don't know how much longer
we can hold out.

[Nosedive]
Oh, I'd say about three seconds!

Go, man-van, go-go.

We'll turn that square's mobile
into abstract art.

Mallory, Grin,
take the Duck Cycles, get help.

We'll try to catch up with you.

No, we can't just leave you.

Now! Before they
bash this crate apart!

Them birds are trying
to split the scene.

Like, let 'em, man.

All I want
is that super fine engine.

Bro, I just have one
thing to say, man.

What?

[Nosedive]
It was nice knowing you!

[smothered voice] Well,
at least the air bags function.

[Nosedive]
Whoa, Wing! Check it out.

Daddy-O-Cat
and the fur-ball boys.

In a few minutes,
you pigeons

shall be square no more.

That's ducks, bongo breath.

Who the heck are you,
car crazed creeps?

I'm Daddy-O-Cool, man.

King of the outlaw
"Hot-rod rebels".

[Nosedive] Oh, how proud
your parents must be.

[Daddy-O] Oh-h*, I used to be
a conformist like you.


We're alien ducks.
How non-conformist can you get?

[Daddy-O] But then,

I feel into this plentiful pool
of ultimate coolness.

Toxic waste fermenting
since the 50's.

Which just so happens to turn
uptight squares

into cool cats like me
and my boys.

Big Daddy-O saved us
from a life of un-coolness.

Hey, when you take the dip
you come out hip.

Your body mutates
and your mind is free, man.

If he starts reciting poetry,
I'm gonna scream.

Groove on my
monster tanker, man.

I kind of gotta a little carried
away with the customizing.

Your engine will turn it into

a candy colored tangerine
flake streamlined nightmare!

[laughs]

Dragster,
start filling the tank, cuz.

Why does Daddy-O need
the Mega Migrator's engine?

Uh, to get to the other side?

Only one way to find out.

And that's to get free.

[ground rumbles]

All systems are cool, Daddy-O.

Solid. Now, to groove-fy
these geese.

That's ducks, you creep.

And we're gonna stop you
before you... uh...

What exactly is it that you're
trying to do here anyway?

The world isn't round,
it's square.

So I intend to turn everyone
into cool cats

by going town to town
in my monster tanker

pumping toxic waste into
the water supplies. Heh-heh.

I'm guessing Daddy-O has had one
cup of espresso too many.

Are you mad?
You changing the whole world?

Don't be uptight.

By the time you come out
of the Pool-O-Cool

you'll be working for me.
Heh-heh.

Bye, bye, birdie.

[whirring]

[Grin]
They didn't get away.

We must rescue them.

We have our orders,
we gotta get help.

I won't leave them like that.

Too much bad karma.

[sighs]
You are one stubborn duck!

[Nosedive]
Anytime, Wildwing. Come on...!

Free bird.

Hang on, I'll untie ya.

There's no time,
climb up to the crane.

We get in the same way
we did before.

But the door
at the bottom's closed.

I think I can jimmy it open.

[speaking gibberish]

Don't worry, bro,
the ropes really short!

And cheap!

Nosedive, let go! Save yourself.

Never!

Man, those are some
swinging sparrows.

Ducks! You goatee'd geek.

Come on, we gotta save 'em.

Then who's gonna save us?

All right, cats,
we are on the road, yeah!

Yeah!

[strains]
Can't hold on...

I'll draw its fire.

And I do mean fire!

[strains]
Can't... let... go.

It is a good day to fly.

[screams]

Brah!

Ka-yoo!

Bro, you're all right.

Huh? Oh, no!

[Daddy-O-Cool] Drag Lips,
why bother with their burns?

[Drag Lips]
I did for kicks, man. [laughs]

[Daddy-O-Cool] Righteous notion,
but we gotta mission.

I saw the best minds
in my generation

destroyed the squareness.

But now the cool will rule.

Where's that
bohemian bozo going?

He's going to pump toxic waste
into everyone's water supply.

We gotta stop him, but we only
have two Duck Cycles.

You and Mal take 'em,
I'm about to be brilliant!

Oh, why do I get
a knot in my stomach

whenever he says that?

Oh, Free verse, Dragsters

Capri pants,
I'm bring y'all back.

How our two little cycles
gonna stop three monster trucks?

Good question. I'll let you know
when I figure it out.

[Daddy-O-Cool]
Dragster, annihilate them first.

[Nosedive] Yeah, it's a good
thing they left the tankers

all the engine behind, huh?

Uh, little more to the right.

The other right.

Now ease it into place.

Let's use the Criss Cross play.

See you on the blue line.

All right, time to save the day.

Are we there, yet?

This is about to become
a past life experience.

All right, the cavalry!

Keep those cubes
out of my scene, man.

Hold on, the reservoir's
only two miles away.

[clicks]

[click]

Oh, what a time
to run out of a*mo!

[both screams]

Do you need anything else
blown up?

As a matter of fact, yeah,
give me a puck!

Yeah, here you go,
but what do you?

Never mind.

Let's move!

[Daddy-O-Cool]
The world will be cool again.

All right, Daddy-O,
this is the finish line.

You pelicans won't stop me.

That's ducks!

[grunts]

Splitting headaches-ville.

[screams]

Don't get near that stuff.

[chokes]
Oh, no, man...

It's like clash in the...

[gurgles]

What will it do to him?

I don't know, it may be
too horrible to imagine.

Say, have you ever considered
the real value

of term life insurance?

[screams]

Yeah, it is too horrible.
[cringes]

[sobs] I can't look.

Now, I just happened to have

some very attractive
policies here

if anyone's interested
in the little look-see.

[chuckles]
Anybody? Somebody?

Uh... hello?

Gotta tell ya,
after busting those beaten eggs

old Dragaunus seems like
a walk in the park.

Yeah, and I've got
just what we need. [chuckles]

The Hyper Migrator X-3.

[chuckles]

You know, if we start now
we can have it on the road by...

Right. You-you know,
the old Migrator is just fine.

"If it ain't broke,
don't fix it."

You know, that's what I'd say.

I'll just, uh, you know,
file this for, uh...

future, uh, ge-generations.

[theme music playing]