01x10 - Beak To The Future

[bunniefuu]

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[Wildwing] I don't like
the looks of this film.

Just hear
the guy out, Wildwing.

He's somebody
we can do business with.

Besides when have I ever
steered you wrong?

-Don't answer that.
-I'm getting bad vibes already.

The Mighty Ducks.
This is an honor.

I'm Phineas P. Viper.

Interesting decor, Mr. Viper.

Snakes are my passion.
They're excellent businessmen.

You know, they wait
for the proper time to strike,

then swallow their rivals
consuming them utterly.

But enough pleasantries.

I want to buy
your hockey franchise.

Lock, stock, and pond.

Here's the amount I'm offering.

Well, that is a lot of money,
but forget it.

Wildwing, Booby, be reasonable.

The Mighty Ducks
aren't for sale, Mr. Viper.

We should do business
under different circumstances.

What of a revolting
development this is.

-We've got a problem.
-The Ducks!

I tried buying
their headquarters--

They must not interfere
with Project X.

They never even got near it.

It's time to get rid
of those puck-loving punks.

[Phil] Babes,
think about what you're doing.

You're throwing away a fortune.

We are not doing business
with that-- that--

I'm going out
on a limb here. Snake?

Worst karma I ever saw.

Will you quit being so noble

and start thinking
profits for a change?

End of song, Phil.

My lucky puck. The one
I brought from Puckworld.

Hey, anything wrong, kid?

Oh, I'm just
a little homesick, you know.

Yeah, we've all felt that way.
Earth's a little bit strange,

but it's not all bad, you know?

I just wish we could go home.

Then you wouldn't fight any
Phineas Vipers on Puckworld.

Yeah, not unless you look
under a rock or something.

[Mallory] We're not leaving
'til we capture Dragaunus.

More to the point. Can't.

This dimensional gateway
is our only ticket home.

Drake One picked up signs
of teleportation energy.

Let's move!

[siren blaring]

Set torque
to maximum thrust.

That's a roger!

[tires screeching]

-Turbines to speed.
-Turbines in full power!

If we can capture Dragaunus,

we'll have completed
our mission.

[zapping]

Ha-ha! This oughta
bring 'em runnin'.

We've got 'em
by the scales now.

-Dragaunus!
-Annihilate him!

Wait! I admit defeat.

What's he up to now?

It's obvious
I will never stop you.

So, I'll make you
an offer instead.

This teleporter is linked to my
Dimensional Gateway Generator--

It's set for Puckworld.

Use it!

Return home
and leave the Earth to me!

All together now,
its gotta be a trap.

[buzzing]

[c.speakerTop][Wildwing] He's on the level.
That thing's set for Puckworld.

Let's do it, Wildwing. Please?
Let's just go home.

We'll vote on it.
I say we stay. Grin?

I'll have to meditate
on the matter.

I'll put you down
as abstaining.

-This place is heinous, man.
-Let's get out of here.

No. We have to complete
our mission. I vote we stay.

Hey, we've been away
for a year.

There could be other threats
to Puckworld by now.

We should be there
to defend our home.

Tanya, it's up to you.

Well, it a lot
of pressure to-- [stammering]

Well-- [stammering]

Okay, I-- I guess
I'll-- I'll vote for, um...

It's a trap.

Grab on to this,
if you want to live.

Phil?

Do it!

[Chameleon] Hey, they're
stealing our material.

Incredible.

It appears someone else got rid
of those mingy mallards for us.

What if they turned you down?

The wraith would have
blasted them to smithereens.

I never get to have any fun.

-Where are we?
-[Phil] Where do you think?

You're in Anaheim.

Ten seconds ago Anaheim did not
look like a b*mb hit it.

Well, it's not ten seconds ago.
It's ten years from now.

You're in the future.

Fellow ducks,
we are seriously out of time.

[Wildwing] Hold on. Let me see
if I've got this straight.

You're Phil Palmfeather
our manager,

and that thing's
a time machine?

You got it, babe.
You're ten years in the future.

-Hunter drone!
-[tires screech]

[creatures growl]

You are blocking traffic.

Remove this vehicle at once.

-[zapping]
-Whoa, talk about strict.

Switch to battle mode.

[zaps]

[engine rumbling]

What is going on here?

What do you think?

Dragaunus won.

He conquered the planet.

[Nosedive] Oh, man,
it's Puckworld all over again.

[Phil] Yeah, Dragaunus
pretty much stripped

the planet clean
before he left.

Then Dragaunus
isn't even here?

Nah. He and his g*ons are off
conquering the galaxy.

Stop, stop, stop!

Whoa! This city's got
a humon-gopher problem.

That's no gopher.
It's an enforcer.

Just pray you never
meet one face-to-face.

Whoa, look at that.
A master tower!

But if Dragaunus is gone
who's running the planet?

That, boo-bula,
is the zillion-dollar question.

Whoever he is, he's in there

running the whole world.

Well, here we are.
The good old pond.

The pond is gone?

Are you kidding?

It's the first thing
Dragaunus hit.

Of course,
there's one part he didn't get.

[grunting]

Oh, man! This joint needs
a fresh coat of paint.

Meet the Resistance.

What are you, nuts?
Those three couldn't stop
a fly.

[clears throat]
Brains beat broad any day.

So who's the leader?

Hey, babe,
you're looking at him.

Ah, this planet's duped.

All right, how've you been
fighting Dragaunus' forces?

Fighting? Are you kidding?
That's dangerous.

Besides the master tower
can keep cranking out

hunter drones till doomsday.

So what's your plan, Phil?

We're gonna blow up
the master tower--

With this.

Larry and Moe here, made it.

And we got you guys

'cause you blew up
the tower on Puckworld.

You know where
to set the expl*sives.

Phil, you've become
a true humanitarian.

I'm very proud of you.

That's right, Duke.

And after civilization's
rebuilt itself

I'll be the biggest celebrity
in the world!

I'll make a fortune!

[tires screeching]

Phil, there's one thing
I just don't understand.

Why'd you have to get us?
Why are we here?

I don't know how
to tell you this, babes,

-but you were destroyed.
-What?

We're not exactly sure how

but Dragaunus wiped you out
before he conquered the world.

Oh, brother, now I really wish
we got home to Puckworld.

Hey, whoa, whoa. Hold it.

[Phil] Yeah, that's the mall.

But I wouldn't go
bargain-hunting in there.

This is my old
stomping grounds, man.
I had friends here.

Trust me. You do not want
to go in there.

Man, is the show ever dark?

Well, maybe I could use
a few more jokes.

No, no, I mean dark.
I can hardly see what I'm--

Whoa! [grunts]

[growling]

Little friend.

-[growling]
-Whoa!

[creatures growling]

I got to save Dive.

No. Grin will protect him.

If we lose that device
there's no hope for this world.

-[zapping]
-[growling]

Back off, mall rats!

[creatures screaming]

They'll be okay.

Those Munnies are just
harmless scavengers.

Huh. Most of them anyway.

[creatures growling]

Back off, you mob crawlers!

These creatures
are truly de-evolved.

[growling]

-What are they gonna do to us?
-Nothing.

Boy, confidence isn't one
of your problems, is it?

You are outcasts. Shunned.

I feel your pain, my friends.

[growling]

Stop! Sounds like the big boss.

Nosedive?

-Thrash? Mookie?
-Duh.

But you're horribly d*sfigured
hideous mutants, man.

Yeah, ain't it cool?

[engine rumbling]

You, uh, you want us
to pick the lock?

There's no time for finesse.

We'll take it
on foot from here.
Come on, Phil, let's move.

Hey, the whole reason I spent
ten years bringing you here

was so you could do this.

[chuckles] I'll keep
the motor warm, okay?

[grumbling]

Yeah, good old Phil.
He never changes.

But he is getting a little
chubby, don't you think?

Oh, maybe I should help him.

Or maybe I should just keep
an eye out for... car thieves!

That's it. Yeah.

This is one dangerous
neighborhood. Ha. Yeah.

There's the main power chamber.

Mallory, Duke,
set the expl*sive.

-Come on, Tanya!
-Where are you goin'?

To change the
course of history.

[grunting]

Command chamber.

This data is a history
of the past ten years.

Can you access secret files?

Hey! Hacker is my middle name.

Well, actually it's,
uh, Gertrude.

And there's something
we've gotta find. There.

So that's how Dragaunus
conquered the Earth.

Twenty-four hours
after Phil brought us here.

Do you realize
what this means?

The mystery man has been
running the planet.

It's Phineas Viper.

A brave deduction.

Dragaunus left me
much technology.

Including his DNA accelerator.

It enabled me to genetically
merge with my beloved snakes.

Now, let's have a power lunch.

I always thought
Viper was a snake.

[zapping]

-[zapping]
-[grunting]

Hey! [grunting]

Come on,
make it snappy, L'Orange,

before more hunter
drones sharp.

All right, let's get to work.

[both grunt]

There's one thing puzzling me.

How did you get here
from Puckworld?

Dragaunus sent you there
with a teleporter
ten years ago.

But-- but Phil said...

Phil said he wasn't sure.
And that means--

All this happened
because of me?

Hey, anything wrong, kid?

Oh, I'm just
a little homesick, you know.

Return home
and leave the Earth to me!

Tanya, it's up to you.

I cast the deciding vote.

Oh, suddenly I wish
I kept my beak shut

about being homesick.

No matter. You won't be
on this planet very long.

Meet my enforcer!

-[rumbling]
-[hissing]

[hisses and growls]

[stammering] Giant snake!

Oh, we should have seen
that one coming.

[growling]

That's it!
Destroy them, Brooksie.

Go put the fight
on someone else.

-[zapping]
-[growls]

All right, all right!
Don't have a hissy fit.

-[growling]
-[zapping]

[grunts]

[growling]

Our pucks aren't targeting.
What are we gonna do?

[Wildwing]
Phil, we're in trouble.

Okay, Phil, get a grip.
You can do this.

Whoa, momma!

[engine sputters]

Sorry, excuse me.

So where'd you get
the Berserko face-lets?

Dragaunus zapped
half the planet
with DNA accelerators.

Everybody's genes', like,
totally freaked out.

Now we're gnarly warriors
of the wasteland, man.

Yeah! We scavenge for food,

the hit-and-runs
against the drones and stuff.

Oh, there-- there it is.
The master tower.

It's right at the end
of the tunnel.

You can't miss it.

Yeah, but you gotta watch out
for the giant snakes.

Whoa.

[growling]

I'll handle it.

Grin, that thing is
gonna swallow you whole!

Stay mellow. Animals like me.

All right. Let's move out.

Where's the Migrator?

Take cover!

[both grunting]

Hey, babes!
The cavalry's here!

Use the Freeze Pucks, Phil.

Cold is lethal to snakes.

Got it.

No, the red button,
the red button!

Oops.

[beep]

Let's get outta here!

No!

[rumbling]

He-ha-ha!

Ride 'em, Grinster!

Grin, how did you ever
tame that thing?

Animals really like him.

Where are the others?
The b*mb's about to go off.

[Mallory] Here they come!

Where'd you two come from?

Well, we just kind
of slithered over.

My poor Brooksie.

Did the mean
old ducks hurt you?

[rumbling]

Come, Brooksie. We must leave!

[rumbling]

It'll take you back
to exactly five minutes

after you left the present.

We'll only have 24 hours

to prevent this future
from happening.

You're sure you set it right?

[laughs] Babes, babes.
Have I ever let you down?

Phil, please, please
don't say that, okay?

[Mallory] It's exactly
five minutes after we left.

We've got 24 hours
to stop Dragaunus.

So, Tanya, you think we should
take Dragaunus up on his offer

and return to Puckworld?

No way.
I'll stop that creep if it
takes the rest of my life.

Hey, uh, guys,
isn't today Friday?

That's right.

Well, according to this
it's Saturday!

Phil's settings were
a whole day off!

Which means we don't have

More like 24 seconds!

The facility's
been cleared out.

Then prepare
to launch Project X.

So, boss, what are we gonna do
after we conquer the world?

Oh, I know.
Let's have pancakes.
I love pancakes.

[Nosedive] How is Dragaunus
gonna conquer the world

on such short notice?

He and Viper
built a super weapon

and it's about to launch.

What super weapon?

See for yourself.

Whoa! It's a
Hyper Super Mondo Raptor!

And it doesn't need
Valerian crystals for power.

I'll conquer the world
in a day.

The ducks!
Where'd they come from?

Well, first you have
a daddy duck,

and then you have a mommy duck,
and then along comes--

They don't have a chance
against my Super Raptor!

We're never gonna
be able to stop that thing.

[Tanya] Oh, yes, we will.

I saw the plans
for that thing in the future.

I know its weak spot.

Now we've got to distract him.

[Tanya] I just need a clear
shot at the ventilation port.

There it is!

Take this, lizard lips!

We're going down!

Oh, my goodness! Abandon ship.

Abandon ship already.

No! No!

Man, I love that.

We put that snake out of
business twice in one episode.

Do you really think we stopped
that future from happening?

Maybe. But as long
as Dragaunus is loose

the future's always in doubt.

You know, of all the things
we encountered in the future

the one that amazes
me most is Phil.

[Mallory scoffs]
Leading the resistance.

And actually
showing some courage.

Yeah. Guess there's hope
for that guy yet.

Where have you been?

Do you realize you missed
the photo sh**t?

I got you a spread
in Duck Huntersquarterly

and you blew it!

Well, give him
another ten years.

[theme music playing]