Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

Unicorn Boy (2023)

Children/Family Movie Collection.
(Disney/Pixar/Illumination/Dreamworks/Animated/etc)
Watch on Amazon   Disney Merch   Collectables

Children/Disney/Pixar Movie Collection.

Unicorn Boy (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

[Matty] So I'm at a bit

of a breaking point.

I'm very tired.

I need to, like,

actually feel...

like I'm changing,

like I'm becoming

who I'm supposed to be.

[soft dramatic music]

[phone thumps]

[liquid pouring]

[tapping]

-[exciting music]

-[squealing]

[creaking]

[lamp crashes]

[fire alarm ringing]

[gasps]

[soft music]

[dryer humming]

[chimes]

[chimes]

[lock clicking]

[chimes]

[squishing]

[splatters]

[indistinct chatter]

[clears throat]

So there's another skunk

in my backyard.

But the good news is that

it hasn't sprayed yet.

But then, you know,

I'm kind of, like,

gonna just leave it

because it started

to eat all the dead cats.

And I know you're thinking,

that's crazy.

Well, do skunks

even eat dead cats?

Well, yeah,

I didn't know either,

and then we found this out.

And at this point,

I'm like, should I

get rid of the dead cats

by skunking them,

or is the skunk

gonna spray me

and then we have

dead cats and that skunk?

It's-- and then that's

not a good situation.

Did she-- did she text back?

Mm.

You-- nothing?

Yeah, I, um--

so I drew her a picture and I--

I wrote "I love you"

at the bottom.

Uh... and then I drove

over to her house

'cause I did it

in the middle of the night

and I wanted her to see it.

So I went over and I--

I left it at her door

near the flowerpot,

and I also said,

"Sorry for breaking up

with you impulsively.

I-- I kind of-- you know,

that was a mistake."

And then so I left it there.

I think her neighbors saw me,

I don't know,

so I kind of ran away.

I don't know if she saw it.

She didn't text me back

or anything, and--

should I--

should I text her again?

I already texted her

a few times today

to see if she read the letter.

Maybe I--

should I go back

and check

that the letter's there?

Or should I--

I don't-- what do--

what do you think?

Um...

a little creepy.

I wouldn't be

texting her anymore.

Maybe just kind of let that,

you know, settle.

But love is creepy, man.

You love her, then, yeah?

[muffled] I think I do.

-What?

-[muffled] I said

I think I do love her.

Oh. So that's a maybe?

Hmm.

Thank you so much.

-[phone buzzes]

-[gasps]

Sorry. That's mine.

-[sighs]

-[phone buzzes]

Okay, so little update

on the situation.

Brittany just said

that the skunk did run off

but that it squirted

on its way out.

But-- but the smell scared off

all the stray cats

that were living

underneath the house

and-- which is a super

big plus for me.

I'm gonna take that as a win.

-[laughs]

-[phone chimes]

Oh, but-- but-- but...

it left a dead half-eaten cat

underneath the house,

which is not ideal.

Oh, you know what?

I'll just let the raccoons

finish it off

because the raccoons get under

the house all the time.

Man, this is-- the world

has a funny way

of working itself out,

you know what I mean?

Don't worry, baby.

The raccoons will eat

the dead cat.

Love you,

my sweet, beautiful angel.

Sorry if the raccoons drag

any more cat guts on the porch.

I know you hate

when that happens.

You are the light in my life.

Love, dead cat guts.

I mean love Sethward.

Man, I don't know

how I-- I keep confusing

dead cat guts with myself.

[sniffles]

You and Brittany

are so freaking cute together.

I guess.

Honestly, she smells

kind of like pickles.

But you love pickles.

Yeah, but not every day.

I just wish I had a--

a pickle.

I'm just a--

I'm just a dumb burrito,

empty inside.

I just don't think

anyone could love me.

I don't--

Are you kidding me?

I love burritos.

They're, like,

one of my favorite-est food

that I've ever eaten.

[crying]

Okay, you're gonna come out

to my show tonight

and screen one of your

weird cartoons, yeah?

Mm.

Come on,

it's your favorite thing.

All your friends

are gonna be there.

Sethward, I'm gonna

tell you something,

and I don't think

you're gonna believe it,

but I need you to

because you're my friend.

Yeah. What's up, buddy?

This morning, I s--

I saw a uni--

[groans]

Are you okay, Matty?

Do you-- do you

believe in uni--

[groaning]

What's-- what's going on?

[groaning]

Are you feeling okay, Matty?

All right, I'll be here.

Um...

-[lights buzzing]

-[footsteps stomping]

[retching]

[groaning]

[mystical music]

[gasps]

[laughs]

[exciting music]

[Sethward] Hey, um,

you okay in there, Matty?

[chuckles nervously]

Matty?

All right, I'm not getting

any response from you, buddy,

so, uh, I'm gonna have

to bust down this door.

Step back.

3, 2, 1, yah!

[groans]

Okay, that didn't work

because I didn't give it

my 110%.

I'm gonna take

a running start this time.

[footsteps stomping]

-[door crashes]

-Ow!

I'm gonna use my head

on this one.

Stand back.

-[door crashes]

-Ow, my head!

Ow!

Oh, sorry, Matt.

I guess I'm not strong enough.

Doesn't anyone in here

have a key to the bathroom,

for goodness sakes?

This is an emergency,

code red!

My friend Matt

is very saddened right now,

and he might not have fallen

in the toilet and can't get out.

Oh, I'm gonna get in there

if it's the last stinking

thing I do.

It's all in the legs.

And maybe a little

in the mustache.

3, 2, 1.

-[door crashes]

-Oh-h*-h*!

Matt, please don't be dead,

'cause then it would be my fault

'cause I'm too weak

to open this door!

I'm so sorry!

Matt!

[screaming]

Whoa!

[gasping]

What-- whoa!

[screams, grunts]

[creature] Ah.

[light music]

Yeah.

Hi.

Whoa.

Hi.

Uh...

I said hi.

Why didn't you answer me?

[crying]

Oh, sorry. Hi.

Hi.

Ah. Hi.

Oh. Hello.

What's up?

Yo.

What, you don't

want in on this?

In on what?

Oh, no, thanks.

I'm good.

Have a good day.

[both] Okay.

Let us know

if you change your mind.

Bye.

Yeah.

-Hello.

-Hey. Yeah.

-Hi.

-Yeah.

-Hey, yeah.

-Hi.

-Yeah.

-Hi.

Hi.

All right.

What is--

is this real?

What-- [thuds]

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I knock you over?

You.

Where am I?

What's going on?

[creatures muttering]

Mm.

Hey, stop.

Where are you going?

[panting]

[playful music]

[creatures continue muttering]

You can't just grab people

out of bathrooms.

Hmm, wait,

I was just in the bathroom.

This can't be real.

Did I trip and hit my head

on the sink?

Then I'm probably

on the gross bathroom floor

-bleeding out of my skull.

-[chuffs]

I know your life's supposed

to flash before your eyes

before you die, but I've never

been anywhere like this.

This is wonderful.

The best scenario would be

I'm in a fugue state

and my mind's here and my body's

in the-- in the coffee shop.

Oh, I hope I don't

say something

embarrassing to Sethward.

Oh, gosh,

what if Violet calls me

while I'm in my fugue state

and I say something weird?

I prepared stuff.

Oh, goodness.

[dramatic music]

W-- uh, how--

what are you doing?

How'd you get there?

Mm.

[suspenseful music]

[neighs]

[screaming]

-[exciting music]

-[screaming]

Oof. [groans]

[retches]

[gasps] Oh.

[dramatic music]

[light music]

So I know you're probably

just a hallucination

from blood loss

to my brain tissues...

but do you have a name?

Maybe he just

doesn't understand.

[neighing] Name?

What's your...

name?

[retches]

Ugh.

How could something

so beautiful be so disgusting?

-Ugh.

-[retches]

Ugh! Oh!

I think I swallowed,

like, a ton of that stuff.

[groaning]

Hmm?

Oh.

There's just a bunch

of giant holes here?

Uh, okay.

[gate rattling]

[ethereal music]

[upbeat music]

Ooh!

[grunting]

[whinnies]

[mechanical whirring]

Welcome, noble visitor,

to my city of Glimmastag,

capital of

the Unicornian Dynasty,

the oldest unicorn regime

in all of the land of Enhorning.

Wow.

She's so elegant and beautiful.

-[electricity crackling]

-[parts rattling]

As the Uniangels'

chosen people

and bestowed

with their purest grace,

our perfect symmetry

with the land of Enhorning's

enchanted magnetic core

allows us to harness our divine

magical gifts perfectly.

Ah!

I have no clue

what she's talking about.

Infallible adherence

to this wonderful societal order

is what makes us

Unicornians continue to garner

happiness and thrive

now and for centuries to come.

This is so cool.

Enjoy your stay

in our oasis of purity.

Oh, and please ignore any giant

hoofprints, ominous mist,

or scourged earth

surrounding our city.

We promise, there is no danger.

And don't forget to wipe

your hooves on the way in.

[laughs]

Wait, those are giant

hoofprint outside the gate?

Oh.

Well, I guess I trust this queen

knows what's going on

'cause she's the queen.

So everything's A-okay, right?

Yeah, Matty, everything's safe.

You're good.

Am I overstepping?

I don't--

A world where everyone

can do magic.

It's so perfect.

-Hi.

-[retches]

-Oh.

-I'm so sorry about that.

Hey, are you sure

I didn't need to, like,

check in at customs

or anything when we got here?

Everybody's looking at me

all, like, snootily.

Mm, I think you missed

a little bit of that stuff.

So if we get the opportunity,

maybe wipe your feet again.

Ah, and why don't you wipe

yourself away from our city,

unclean heathens!

[retches]

[whinnies]

Disgusting.

Sorry, everyone.

Get rid of it.

Mm.

Ugh.

Unclean heathens.

Oh, I'm so disappointed.

So do you want to keep going

this direction?

Are we headed

through this gate?

Is there a destination

we're going to,

or are we just

kind of wandering?

[retches]

Going through here?

Okay.

Uh, hold on.

Let me just--

[buzzer blares]

-[man] What?

-Hi there. Uh--

Prince Purpleton,

how many times have--

you know the rules.

You aren't supposed to use

the buzzer if you have a key.

Prince Purpleton?

Wait, is that you?

Are you-- are you a prince?

[gasps] Ooh!

[buzzer blares]

Oh, hello.

You were just on the other

side of the gate

the whole time, huh?

Prince, you know I'm not

supposed to let anyone up

when she's taking

her daily uninap.

[light music]

Okay, fine.

I could never say no

to that smile.

Just please, please, please,

be quiet.

And wipe your feet.

So are you going to lead us

to our destination,

or are we just wandering?

No. I'm not a theme park

tour guide.

I'm a royal guard who's putting

his job on the line

by simply letting you

go up to the castle.

Okay.

Sorry, Sir Unicorn.

I didn't know.

[laughs] Sir.

Sir is a title

reserved for a knight.

I'm a mere guard,

Guard Pantius.

Cool.

Do you want to be

a knight one day?

Ha!

Do I want to be a knight?

Of course.

It's every guard's dream.

But the way I bend the rules

for Prince Purpleton,

I'm lucky I still have

the horn on my head.

This is the last time, buddy.

[both whinnying]

[stomach gurgles]

No, not now.

Stay in there.

No, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no.

No.

Okay.

We're gonna go

up these stairs now.

But it was great

getting to know you.

Uh, keep it real, dude.

I'll see you around.

[gulps, sighs]

What's a dude?

[retches]

[laughter]

[gasps] Oh, no, no.

-No, not now. You cannot--

-You can't catch us.

Your legs

aren't muscly enough.

Maybe you should have

tried harder in guard school.

Hey, I need candy.

Where's the candy?

You guys!

[ethereal music]

[regal music]

Wow. There she is.

She's even more elegant

in person.

Oh, that's right.

These would be your parents

then if you're a prince.

-[whinnies]

-Shh.

Oh, goodness,

it's wonderful to see you, son.

But please wipe your feet.

This is Mommy's nap time,

and if she wakes up to a mess,

it's going to be--

well, you know.

Oh, I missed you

so much, buddy.

You're the point on my horn

and the pupil of my pupil.

Let's just clean up

the puke tracks

and try to be quiet

until nap time is over.

-Sound good?

-Oh, sorry, Your Highness.

We'll keep it down.

I'm just so excited.

[groans]

Do as the king commands!

Shh! General, did you

miss everything I just said

literally a second ago?

Come on, man.

[light music]

[sighs, clears throat]

Sorry, boys,

it's just not the best time.

Maybe come back in...

42 minutes.

I'd really love to meet

your new friend then.

We can sit down

with some soup and salad

and unlimited breadsticks

and really get to know

each other.

And I'm so glad you're

making friends, son,

but right now,

let's just practice

some safe, wholesome

conflict avoidance.

[retches]

[snorting]

[gasps] What?

What the? [neighs]

Is this uncleanliness

that doth enter my castle?

It's okay, sweetie,

they literally just walked in,

and I told Prince Purpleton

to wipe his feet.

Last time

he entered the castle,

half the guards' magic became

grossly unrestrained.

-He's our

beautiful baby boy, hon.

-It is unacceptable!

-You know I love you with

the fire of a thousand stars...

-Dang.

-Are you sure

these are your parents, dude?

-[arguing continues]

You definitely didn't get

their speaking genes, I guess.

[whinnies]

[clears throat]

Excuse me,

Your Royal Highnesses

of the Unicornian Dynasty.

First-- first like to say

your castle has lovely...

articulating barrel vaults?

-Thank you very much, my boy.

-Articulating barrel vaults?

It's a nice compliment,

sweetie.

You did put a lot of work

into the recent roof remodel.

He didn't mean to offend you.

He's just trying to relate

to new people.

[Junipero]

Probably just took one term

of art history in college

and said the first thing

that came to his mind.

He's not from our dimension.

Just look at his unkempt hair

and unwashed sweater.

-Honey.

-Uh...

Barely understand

either of you,

since you're just talking

over each other a lot.

Matthew, our son

is a conspiracy theorist.

He has an illness

you've probably never had

the misfortune of encountering

where you come from.

It's called imagination.

Yeah, we have imagination

where I come from too.

Also, how did you know my name?

Prince Purpleton

says these things,

crazy, reckless things

that just aren't spoken.

They go against

over 5,000 years of literature

in the Unicornian lineage.

Honey horn, you are the oxygen

that flows through my blood

and the polish

that makes my coat shine.

But I feel like as long

as he isn't hurting anyone,

-he should carve his own path.

-[prince nickers]

Yeah, not if he

is literally carving

a path through our kingdom!

I've had it up to my horn

with our son's cornswabblery.

Did he show you one of those

giant fake hoofprints

he carved up

to try and scare people

into believing

his delusions, huh?

He claims a large horse

is gonna attack our city.

[laughs]

Like anything could

breach my walls.

They're made

of crystallized diamond quartz

harvested by

the Uniangels themselves.

Large horse, huh?

But you-- but you said

in your beautiful and

well-spoken presentation

that there's nothing

to worry about, right?

Sweetie, digging giant,

gaping holes is just a phase.

I dug giant, gaping holes.

My father dug

giant, gaping holes.

His father dug holes so big,

you wouldn't believe it.

It's no big deal.

And yes, he might have a tiny

issue with his imagination,

but we can help with that.

Why don't we all sit down for

some pea soup, a garden salad,

unlimited

whole wheat breadsticks,

and talk this thing out

like the civilized

royal unicorns that we are.

I could go for some breadsticks

right now.

Enough with the breadsticks,

Uniturius!

Oh, maybe-- oh, I see.

You don't remember him as a baby

spitting up

those disgusting rainbows

that stained the royal garments!

[Uniturius]

For some unicorns,

like our son,

it's harder to repress

their sometimes disgusting

true magical impulses.

Some-- some unicorns?

Who else?

Show me one other unicorn

that has trouble repressing

their innate

and offensive magic

and channeling

the will of the Uniangels.

Do you want people

to completely lose their minds

and sanity?

[retches]

[upbeat music]

I'm a million degrees hot,

and I'll burn everyone...

with love!

Yeah! [giggles]

You see?

Proof that Prince Purpleton

is a bad influence

and makes people's magic

go dangerously unhinged.

Maybe I should step outside

and let you guys talk for a bit.

Yes, Matthew,

you should definitely go.

My boy, it was so wonderful

to meet you.

And you should come back

one day way in the future.

Like, way, way in the future.

[groaning]

Besides,

I think you're expecting

a call from Violet.

Oh, right.

Wait, how did you know that too?

Hey, I've seen

a lot of things today

I didn't think I'd ever see

and felt a lot of things that

I didn't think I could feel.

So I think if we all take

a deep breath and say our piece,

we can figure out

what's going on here.

-[groaning]

-[grunting]

[groaning] Begone!

-Get out, out, out!

-Oh.

-I cast you out!

-This is kind of cool, actually.

[dramatic music]

[groans]

Whoo.

Wow, that was intense,

for sure.

[somber music]

Oh, hey, buddy, are you okay?

Look, I know things

can be rough.

That was pretty tough.

I'm actually going through

something myself right now

that is, you know, taking a lot

out of me, so I understand.

Whoa!

-[uplifting music]

-Whoa!

[grunting]

Whoa!

[grunts]

[dramatic music]

[suspenseful music]

[distant animal noises]

Hey, uh, just want to check in.

Is it totally safe

that we're walking

around this dark forest

if there's, like, a giant horse

stomping around on the loose?

[whinnies]

Okay. Yeah, I trust you.

I just... don't want to die.

Whoa! [grunts]

Uh, hey, do you want me

to follow you or--

if you're just grabbing

something, I can just wait.

Uh, kind of don't want

to be out here alone.

There's gonna be a giant horse

that could step on me

at any moment,

but should I--

[roars]

All right, I'm coming in.

Just step back, I guess.

[muffled] Help.

Yeah.

[ethereal music]

[whooshing]

[grunts]

[groans]

-Hey.

-Ah.

Whoa.

[grand music]

Oh.

[yelps]

Oh.

-Ah.

-Ooh.

[Matty] Wow.

It looks just like me.

-Ah!

-Hmm?

You. [laughs]

[groans]

Uh, what is this thing?

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

[laughs]

[shrieks]

[laughs]

[giggles]

Hi.

It's Peanut Butter Sparkle.

Oh.

Do you know this person?

[bright music]

Uh, okay.

Wait, is that your name,

or...

are you, like,

offering me a dessert?

Yes, I'm...

Peanut Butter--

Okay, I get it,

you're Peanut Butter--

Peanut Butter Sparkle.

[whooping]

I'm Peanut Butter Sparkle.

Cool.

So does she have

to hang out with us?

She's not gonna leave?

Cool.

[dramatic music]

[snoring]

[piano playing]

Buddy, I just really want

to say thank you for today.

And I do realize I'm probably

still in the bathroom,

bleeding profusely.

And Sethward can't get to me

to resuscitate me.

But I've accepted

I can't do anything about that.

I really-- this is where I would

want to be if I were in a coma.

This is wonderful.

Thank you.

[suspenseful music]

[Matty]

I guess I'm trying to say

I have this picture

of what I think a relationship

is supposed to be,

and this just doesn't

feel like that.

Does that make sense?

[Violet]

I don't know what you mean.

I thought you were happy.

[Matty]

I am happy.

This has been

the best time of my life.

It's just, I feel

like I have to do this.

[Violet] Sorry.

This is very confusing.

Are you breaking up with me

or trying to tell me

I need to change to be with you?

[Matty] Yeah.

No, of course not.

I'm just trying to say

I pictured my first relationship

to be different

than what this was.

[Violet]

Like, with a different person?

[Matty] Um, uh, not, like,

a specific person,

just, like,

a feeling of a person.

[Violet] Do you know

how messed up that is?

And what feeling?

You hardly ever shared

what you were feeling with me,

and I begged you to.

[Matty] It just feels like

a lie to keep going

if it doesn't feel

exactly right. I'm sorry.

And I just don't want

to hurt you later 'cause

I care about you so much.

[Violet]

You don't want to hurt me?

You come to my house

and dump me out of nowhere

because I'm not fitting into

some figment of your

imagination?

What?

[sighs]

[Matty]

I'm really sorry, Violet.

I'm just trying

to do the right thing.

Are you okay?

-[Violet] Please leave.

-[Matty] I don't want you

to be sad.

[Violet]

Please just leave. [echoing]

[screams]

Huh? Hmm?

[screams]

Whoa! Whoa, whoa!

Ah! [grunts]

Hmm?

It's so beautiful.

-But why did you--

-[giggles]

But why did you bring me here?

[laughs]

The little baby

can't just experience

the beautiful trip.

He has to obsessively try

to understand

-and brace himself

for every facet.

-[groans]

Every facet.

[snorts, giggles]

[inhales deeply]

Hmm.

I want to stay here forever.

I just want to stay

with these crickets...

and the squirrels...

and the fish bug things.

And I don't want to go back.

[rumbling]

Hmm? Uh...

[crashing]

[roars]

[gasps] Oh.

Oh, no.

The evil horse is real.

We have to do something.

We have to tell someone!

Is there anyone who can,

like, turn him into marshmallows

or gu-- gumdrops?

Like, what do we do?

Yeah, you're talking

about the Candy Wizard.

He could have helped

if the queen

hadn't already gotten to him

and made him a knight.

He goes by Candius Wizorius

of the Unicornian Dynasty now.

-[Matty] What? No, no!

-So it's a lost cause.

-He wouldn't even

help you anyway.

-No, no, no, no.

[dark music]

[grunts]

[upbeat music]

Go, Prince Purpleton.

Take off over that rainbow

and go back to the castle

so we can tell--

we can report this.

Go.

Faster. Come on.

Let's go.

When I don't want you

to go fast, you go fast,

but now you don't.

Mm.

[roars]

I'll see you later.

[adventurous music]

[indistinct yelling]

Hey, get back--

[retches]

[panting]

[plate shatters]

Shh! Oh, son, I am so happy

that you're back so soon.

But also,

this is the worst timing.

And, Matt,

so good to see you again,

although I really wish

we could have maybe put

something on the books

so we could have

properly planned around

the queen's nap time.

Let's just clean up

the puke tracks

and try to be quiet

until nap time is over.

Sound good?

[groaning]

[grunting]

What have you done

to my sacred palace?

My marvelous mare,

it seemed like it might have

been an accident.

Right, Matthew, total accident?

Shut up.

And where the neigh

are the guards?

-[upbeat music]

-[laughter]

[panting]

I'm sorry, Your Majesties.

I--I--I tried to stop them.

They overpowered me.

The hairless one with the hair,

he forced my magic to escape.

I--I can normally

keep them inside,

keep 'em inside my belly.

I swear this will never

happen again.

You're fired!

Hey, no sweat.

You can work for us.

Whoa, light bulb moment.

We need someone

to feed us candy constantly.

Okay, but, like,

here's the thing.

Like, if you don't do

what we ask you to do,

we will fire you too.

So just be warned.

And-- and I-- and I am so sick

of everybody thinking

that-- that we won't fire them,

because we will.

You need to stop

eating garlic.

You smell.

It's hard to live in there.

-Think about

others for a change.

-Am I really fired?

No, no.

See you for poker Thursday?

[chuckles] Whew.

Thanks, Uniturius.

[laughs]

Back inside.

I need to feed my family.

Now, what does my son

and his band of miscreants want,

other than to ruin my kingdom?

Shush!

Listen to me.

The evil horse is real.

I saw it.

It's out there.

We have to put aside

our differences

and come up with a plan here,

or else our beautiful town's

gonna be destroyed.

Let me say I am very happy

to see your appreciation

for our kingdom.

-It's just refreshing

for an outsider to take such a--

-[stammering]

-Silence!

-Yes, dear.

Look, I don't mean

to be rude, ma'am,

but as the queen,

it's your responsibility

to put aside any self-interest

you might have and do something

to protect your people.

I do not believe you.

[rumbling]

[gasping] Whoa!

[suspenseful music]

[roars]

No, it's happening.

You see?

You dummies,

it was beautiful here.

Now we got to stop it. Hurry.

What do we do?

Come on, buddy.

What do we do?

[screams]

[Sethward] Okay, Matt,

here's a little update

on this side of the wall,

in case you're lucid

and just can't move

or something

in some sort of terrifying

paralysis situation.

The manager called

the door manufacturer,

and the door lock comes from

some company in Japan that--

called Roku Unlimited Security,

and it's tested

over 5,000 pounds.

[man] Hey, bud.

This is the cashier speaking.

I'm not very strong,

but I am good at making coffee.

Just wanted to let you know

that if you make it--

that when you make it out,

any coffee you want

is on the house.

Now, that also includes

any natural creamer.

I'm talking oat, almond, hemp.

[Sethward]

The other coffee patrons

and I have built

a makeshift battering ram

out of the tables.

We made the best-looking

battering ram

you ever gosh darn

put your lazy eyes on.

We're gonna just charge our way

through this door, Matty.

Don't worry.

Keep the faith.

Don't look into the light.

Just pretend

that I'm there with you.

I want you to know,

from the outside,

we're thought-ing

and we're prayer-ing you

so hard right now.

-[whoosh]

-Matt, is that you?

I heard something.

Are you awake?

Okay, buddy, whatever you do,

don't swallow your tongue.

I heard that's the worst thing

that you could do,

and the paramedics

will not be able to revive you

-if you swallow

your tongue and die.

-Why am I back here?

All right, everyone, let's give

this everything we got.

-Three, two, one.

-No!

-Whoa!

-Whoa!

-Whoa!

-[groans]

Thank goodness

you're okay, Matt.

Oh, I'm seeing

some black spots.

[groaning]

[panting]

Where'd it go? [gasping]

[panting]

Whoa. Oh, okay.

Oh, Matty,

thank jeez Louise, you're okay.

I thought that I'd never

see you again.

[croaks]

Look, come to my show

tonight, buddy.

I know that it'll

make you feel better.

And you seem like you need

a little cheering up.

But first, since I don't have

health insurance,

I need you to shine

a tiny flashlight into my eyes

and let me know if you think

that I might have a concussion.

[chuckles]

[water dripping]

[bugs chittering]

[phone chimes]

[plane engine roaring]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, everybody.

-Welcome to "Show & Tell"...

-[man] Whoo!

The show where we all

get together once a month

and screen comedy videos

and have a ding-dang

good old time.

[laughs]

Oh, boy, you goofballs.

I love every single

one of you so much.

Thank you all

for coming out and supporting

independent comedy.

-Whoo!

-This is one of my most

favorite things

to do every single month.

You guys know how it is.

Living in Los Angeles

can be pretty unbelievably hard

and isolating at times.

Like, you can feel like

nobody cares about you at all,

and all you have is $100

in your bank account

and a broken car that costs

even $2,000 to fix.

So you can't even

go to an audition

and get a gig to be able

to pay for your broken car...

-Huh?

-Or your very sad

and lonely bank account

-that has zero

hundred dollars in it.

-[sighs]

And anyway... [chuckles]

If everyone could please

donate to our show,

it would be super-duper

greatly appreciated.

We have a fine from the city

of Los Angeles

for having a public screening

in the backyard,

which is not

an ill*gal thing to do.

But you know what?

We got to pay it, so if you

guys could please help--

[man] Shut up!

It's 9:00 p.m.!

Sorry, sir!

We'll keep it down!

Please don't call the police.

[chuckles]

Anyway, our first shower,

a regular and my best buddy

old pal, Matty.

-[applause]

-Love you, Matty.

[laughs]

Thanks, Mark.

Here's a cartoon I made

about my current feelings

on love.

Don't know why I made it.

Kind of grosses me out,

to be perfectly honest.

But...

[car horn honks]

[soft music]

-[blows raspberry]

-[heart beating]

[upbeat music]

[shimmering tone]

-Great job, buddy.

-[Sethward] Next up is--

oh, boy, okay,

here's a little video

that I made about

my deep emotional feelings

on climate change.

[soft music]

[no audible dialogue]

-[laughter]

-Hey!

I said shut up or else,

you fancy mustached freak.

Don't make me come down there.

I'm sorry, sir!

We will keep it down!

-We're almost done.

-[Matty] Hey, sir.

Why don't you take

that thorn in your side,

stick it in your ears,

and then go to sleep

and just let us have fun?

We're just trying to live

our bliss here.

Oh, no, Matty,

it's okay. It's okay.

Sir, I'm sorry.

It is late,

and we are being loud.

Shut up, Sethward.

I've got this.

Oh, kitten's got claws.

-Look out.

-Sorry about that, sir.

Hey, like Sethward said,

we're almost done with the show.

You have a wonderful night,

okay?

[man]

Oh, shut up, Mark.

What are you always

so happy for anyway?

Hey, don't you talk

to Mark like that.

Can't help that he's

a little delicate flower

who can only see the good

in the world, unlike you.

-Thanks, Matty.

-[both] Shut up, Mark.

-Sorry, I love you, Mark.

-My cat needs her beauty sleep.

She has her first

pageant tomorrow.

I'm calling the cops.

Uh, I guess

we're done, everyone.

-[grunting]

-Please feel free to hang out,

have some snacks,

talk to your friend.

Uh, but try to keep

your voices down.

[Mark] Matty, man, sorry

to hear you're going through

all that stuff with Violet.

That's really tough.

We know how you felt about her.

But you have us,

and we love you, man.

-We got your back.

-Oh, yeah.

Breakups are weird

from the inside.

Jeez.

And those games, I hate them.

I hate them so much.

I hate them, Matty.

Thank you for saying that.

I'm just confused,

and I don't know what--

how to fix anything.

Or do I need to fix it?

I don't know.

Sorry to ruin your party.

It's gonna be okay, Matty.

I feel like it's best

when you break up to just--

when you look around

at where you are,

you start to see

that it's even better

than where you were before.

Obviously, that wasn't working.

Better things

are gonna come to you now.

It's gonna be okay, Matty.

-We're here for you.

We love you.

-Huh?

[dramatic music]

Huh?

[soaring music]

[gasps]

I'll catch up

with you guys later.

Where did you get that?

Oh, you mean this organic

cacao and goji berry

dehydrated nut bar?

Well, I cultivated

the baby almonds from

my friend's zero-waste farm.

No, no, no, no, that thing.

Oh, this? Huh.

[chuckles]

I guess I've always had it.

I can't remember.

Do you know how to get back

to Enhorning,

the realm

of the Unicornian Dynasty?

It's in terrible danger.

This Saturday,

come to the Shiny Sanctuary

of Reflectivity, Infinite

Harmony & Crystal Shop

on Melrose and Hillhurst.

-[gasps]

-Bring a yoga mat.

Bye-bye.

What?

[meows]

[groaning]

Oh! [growls]

Brittany,

can you get the cat-unsticking

stick out of the garage?

The stupid stray cat got stuck

in the popcorn machine again.

Now the popcorn's

gonna be buttered with fleas.

-[groans]

-Hey, Matty.

Oh, man,

I'm so glad that you came.

-How you doing, man?

-Sethward, do you know

a guy with a horn?

-Did you invite him?

-Oh, um, no, I don't think so.

But you could check with Alyssa.

She might have.

Okay, glad you're having

a good time, buddy.

I hope I'm helping you

through your mental crisis.

Kind of confused at your

emotional state right now.

This kind of, like, emotional

help is not my strong suite.

Oh, great. Now the skunk

is in the punch bowl.

Brittany, can you

get the skunk gloves

while you're in the garage?

-[animals growling]

-They're next to

the raccoon rake,

underneath the possum pincher.

Okay, there's a girl here.

I invited her, obviously,

and she has a tattoo

of Ariana Grande,

and-- sorry, okay, her tattoo

is Ariana Grande eating nachos.

Are you talking about that girl?

I invited her.

-No.

-Oh, my gosh, it's so funny,

actually, how I know her.

We were at the grocery store,

and I was like, "Hi."

And she was like, "Hi."

And I'm like, "Your voice

is kind of deep."

And she was like,

"Your voice is kind of high."

And I was like, "I know."

No, sorry.

-[gasps]

-Oh!

Unless you mean

the guy with a gauged nose

and a tattooed eyeball.

-No.

-I guess he could have

gotten a horn.

Nah, that's not me, man.

But I do know

who you're talking about.

That's my friend Juice.

Sorry, man.

Mine's actually an implant.

But if you want one,

I got a guy.

You got to know

something, though.

It is painful.

-It hurts.

-Mm.

The whole process is painful.

A lot of cleaning.

When you sleep, you roll on it.

But if it's what you want

and it's gonna make you happy,

I say go for it.

So no luck, huh?

Look, I know that things

can get hard sometimes

and it feels like

you don't have any--

um, I guess

what I'm trying to say

is that you got to kind of

keep your head down

and you got to move.

But don't keep your head

too down because--

put your chin up,

you know what I mean?

And I took this one

psychology class in college

that taught you that you can't--

uh, this is not helping.

What I'm really trying

to say is-- whoa.

[screaming]

Whoa, my hair is on fire!

[car horn honking]

[Matty] Oh, also, I listened

to that band you told me about.

I really liked them.

It reminded me

of that time I held your hand

for the first time.

[Violet] Nice.

Hey, Matt, I-- never mind.

[Matty] Oh, okay.

Hey, I wanted to say

breaking up with you

was a spur-of-the-moment

mistake.

I don't know

what I was thinking.

Do you forgive me?

[Violet]

For breaking up with me?

Uh, yeah, sure,

I forgive you, I guess.

[Matty] Oh, that's--

I can't tell you how big

of a relief that is.

That was a silly mistake,

and I didn't think it through,

breaking up with you.

and I'm so glad that

you forgive me.

-So--

-[Violet] You know,

I love you, Matt.

I didn't want to be

the first one to say that

because I didn't know

if you felt the same.

And then when you

broke up with me--

[Matty]

Oh, I love you too.

-[Violet] All right.

-[Matt chuckles] I do.

I know it doesn't

sound convincing.

I just-- I've never

been in love before,

and I didn't know how it felt,

and I've never said that.

Hey, are you free Friday?

Let's go ride the ducks

in the park-- pond.

[Violet]

Yeah, I'd like that.

[Matty] Okay.

I'll call you after work.

[Violet]

Okay. I love you.

[Matty]

I love you too.

[elevator rattling]

[gasps] Oh, thank goodness

you're real.

So I ordered a new--

a good yoga mat online,

and it didn't come in yet,

so I got this one at the store.

I hope it works

for whatever-- uh, for this.

Oh, I am so happy

you made it, brother.

Have some zero-sugar

kombucha tea out of

the communal crystal vase.

Oh, there's no cups.

Are we all drinking out of this

together, without wiping?

Is there a communal

wiping towel, by chance?

Um...

[mystical music]

-[bells chiming]

-[grunts]

Welcome, my ripe seedlings.

Today you're going to blossom

and be birthed at the soil

into a new world,

a world that will chew you up,

turn you upside down,

and spit you out.

Hmm.

Even if you've practiced

with us before,

this experience

will be a new version

of heaven meeting Hades

in a battle royal

to claim your soul,

a battle that will grab you by

your innards, twirl them around,

make a balloon animal,

pop that balloon animal,

and then make organic mulch

with your remains.

[breathes deeply]

Ah.

Let's begin the blossoming

with a deep breath in.

[all inhale deeply]

[woman] Then you're gonna

hold that breath.

Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.

[grunting]

Take in a little more air,

a little bit more.

And sigh it out.

[all sighing]

Now we're gonna radiate

our intentions to Mother Earth

with a classic Kundalini breath

called the Breath of Fire.

If you know it, jump in.

But if you don't know it,

you're gonna take

rapid breaths, pushing your

diaphragm down, down, down,

then up, up, up, maybe to our

throat, throat, throat.

[all breathing rapidly]

[ethereal music]

[squirting]

[inhales deeply]

Ah.

Oh!

-[uplifting music]

-[birds chirping]

Oh! Oh!

[woman]

Now everyone strap in

for the Wim Hof breath.

Lay down

and take 30 deep breaths

in through the mouth

and get ready

your face smashed in

by Mother Earth's fist.

[breathing deeply]

Whoa! Oh!

Ooh! Ah!

[retching]

[dramatic music]

[neighing]

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

[gasps]

Oh.

[ethereal music]

-Wow.

-[woman] Now, everyone,

let's do some yoga poses.

[upbeat music]

[breathing heavily]

[dramatic music]

-What?

-[Prince Purpleton squeals]

[woman] Ah.

-[woman] Wowee.

-[gasping]

[sighs]

Thank you

for joining us tonight.

Please don't let

your scrambled guts

fall out of your mouth

onto the carpet

on your way out.

[sighs]

Namaste, my beautiful flowers.

Namaste.

No, wait, don't go.

Don't worry.

We're here twice a week.

Unless Mother Earth decides to

sh**t us into the void of space

like I've foreseen.

Well, barring that, of course.

Or we could just

die of natural causes.

[both]

See everyone next week.

[sighs]

[grunting]

Dude, wow.

That was incredible.

We got back

to the unicorns just by

stretching and breathing.

Like, what? How many times

do I have to come back

before I can get my full horn?

Is it, like, once a week?

'Cause that's a big commitment.

I would rather do every other

week, but whatever it takes,

I'm gonna try.

Aw, looks like you got a little

poke-poke-poker already.

[chuckles] You just water

this little seed, brother.

Don't forget

the fertilizer, though.

It may be stinky,

but you need it to grow.

[Matty]

It's like I saw myself

in a place that I wanted to be

just from stretching

and breathing.

I didn't know that was

possible. Sethward, you have

to try this yoga class.

I think they gave me

a sweet pickle instead of dill.

-Ugh.

-Sethward, this is serious.

I think I'm growing a unicorn

horn or something, right?

Doesn't it look

a little bit like it?

After just one class.

Look.

It's getting there.

Mm.

Honestly, kind of sounds

like you just hyperventilated

and hallucinated.

Are you listening to me,

Sethward? Look, my horn

is coming in. It's--

Oh, it looks like

a cute little pimple to me.

-No, look.

-[pops]

Ah! Where'd it go?

Why'd it do that?

I don't know.

Maybe rub some dirt on it?

I mean, that's how I usually

get all my pimples back.

Or just keep

staying stressed out.

That should probably

get the job done.

You know what?

I have some on my back.

We could compare them

if you want.

I mean when I was a baby,

I had pimples.

I don't-- like, I haven't

had pimples in, like, years.

Oh, jeepers.

Oh.

Look, why don't you come

dumpster diving with me tonight?

It'll be super fun.

It'll get your mind

off of things.

The dumpster fumes

make me hallucinate

all kinds of fun stuff.

Brittany usually

comes with me,

but she has to work at

the funeral home late tonight

'cause the bodies to embalm

are all backed up

'cause she skipped work

yesterday to help me pry out

all the dead possum

between my laundry machine...

[continues indistinctly]

[panting, grunting]

[dramatic music]

Deep breath in

and hold it forever.

And forever is now.

Slowly release it.

-Ah.

-[gong crashes]

Now begin Breath of Fire.

[inhales deeply]

[tense music]

[groans]

[grunting]

[whooshing]

[grunts, screams]

[grunting]

Oh!

I did it!

I'm back!

Oh, thank goodness.

Now all I have to do

is save the world

very fast before class ends

and I get sent back.

[exciting music]

Oh!

Excuse me.

Have you seen Prince Purpleton?

Uh, he should be around here.

He's about this high.

Oh, yeah, sure.

I just saw him.

He's right over there.

Ah!

[laughs]

I'm never gonna lose you again.

I promise.

[laughs]

To the castle, buddy.

Let's go!

Come on, buddy.

Let's go. Take off.

We have to defeat

the evil horse quick.

It's evil, and it's

blocking my happiness,

and I-- I mean our happiness.

Oh, great.

Look who's here

to spoil the party.

You better not get

in our way, lady.

We're doing important

world-saving work here.

-[distant thudding]

-Wait.

Why does everything look

all glitchy and weird here?

[thuds]

[suspenseful music]

No.

There it is, the--

Okay, stay focused.

Let's go. Let's fight it, buddy.

sh**t me up and I'll punch it.

I'll punch it.

[squeaking]

Oh, no, what's going on?

No, I knew it.

That Peanut Butter lady's

bad news.

What are you doing?

Come on, stop it.

No, stop it.

Keep it together.

[screams]

Oh, I'm loving

the energy you're bringing

to these classes, new guy.

Any vocal releases

you need to make are wonderful.

Yes!

Everyone, yell out your demons.

[all screaming]

[Matty] Hi.

Great job with class.

Um, have you

seen Oak anywhere?

I can't find him.

I have something I really,

really have to ask him.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.

I don't know who that is.

Hey, I hope it's okay

to say this to you, uh,

since I don't know you,

but I'm having a lot

of feelings right now,

and I don't know if I can--

what to do with them

or even if I can process them.

I-- honestly, I'm really scared.

But you already have begun

to process them.

I know that just because

you're telling me this.

I know that you're doing

hard work on yourself right now,

but it is gonna pay off,

and people around you

are beginning to see the light

shift inside of you.

I have. Don't stop.

It's hard, and it's gonna

keep getting harder,

but you cannot stop.

Keep on cultivating that light

until letting it shine

becomes as natural to you

as breathing.

Notice how things have shifted

in the light,

how it makes colors

seem more vivid,

the touch more sensitive,

the smells... more smelly.

There will arrive times when you

feel like nothing has changed.

Just breathe

and feel and trust.

Your body is constantly

talking to you,

and it always tells the truth.

I love you, and so does

the Earth and the trees.

But at all costs...

[speaking indistinctly]

[squelching]

[dramatic music]

[rain pattering]

[soft music]

[beeps]

[dramatic music]

[birds chirping]

[inhales sharply] Mm.

[groaning]

[blubbering]

[whooshing]

[whinnies]

Hey, buddy.

Hi.

What, you could talk

this whole time?

Yup.

Oh, that's cool.

So we can talk now.

Hey, I tried really hard

to find my way back to you.

Like, I tried really hard.

Like, I tried

really hard.

Like, I really tried so hard.

But everything I did

just somehow led me back

to the exact same place

I started.

And, like, sometimes

it seemed even further back

from where I started.

How could you find me,

you ding-dong?

You never lost me.

Yeah, I did.

You gave me this amazing chance

to love life.

Somehow I messed it up,

and I don't even know

how I did it.

I'm telling you, Matty,

you didn't.

And everything has changed.

Just relax.

Everything is beautiful.

[ethereal music]

[birds chirping]

Mm.

I'll find my way back to you,

Prince Purpleton.

I know you'll be there

waiting for me,

and we'll be able to prance

around Enhorning again

with all our new friends.

I even wish I could see

Peanut Butter Sparkle again.

[sniffling]

There's nothing I can do

but live and breathe,

just be okay with everything.

I don't know how to do that yet,

but I'm gonna keep trying.

Even if Enhorning

turns into a demonic world

of reds and dark purples,

I'll be there next to you,

even if it takes my whole life.

Oh.

Buddy!

-[whinnying]

-[laughing]

[retches]

[thunder rumbling]

[grunting]

[inhales sharply]

Everything

is absolutely perfect

and exactly

how it's meant to be.

[laughs]

[grunts]

Whoo!

Whoa!

[laughs]

Whoo!

[exciting music]

Yah! [laughs]

[grunting]

[laughter]

Oh, it's Prince Purpleton.

Oh, this is all his fault.

And it's that bony freak too.

I don't like him.

Unclean heathen!

No, Tarliul, my friend,

don't you see?

Prince Purpleton foresaw

our sins would lead to

a culling of our kin.

This is the end of days,

and he is our prophet.

Ah, either way, someone has

to pay for whatever caused this.

We must appease

the giant horse god.

Take this, freak boy!

Wow-- oh!

It's so beautiful here.

It's being destroyed,

you unclean heathen!

Yeah, but it's gonna be amazing

to rebuild, isn't it?

Stand back, everyone.

I'm taking off

to defeat the evil horse.

[panting,

muttering indistinctly]

The king and queen

are trapped in the castle.

I couldn't save them.

I was barely able

to escape myself.

Oh, no.

Mom, Dad!

It's okay, buddy.

I'll save them.

I'll save everyone.

Just stand back.

Sorry, dude, can you

stand back just a little bit?

I'm about to take off

and probably cause a crater,

and ground chunks

are gonna go everywhere.

And I don't want you to get hit.

-[phone chimes]

-Hold on a second, dude.

Looks like I just received

a voice message

from the Royal Highnesses.

Fantastic.

Wait. How do I--

how do I play this?

-Just click the button here.

-I tried to press the button.

I'm pressing the button.

It's not pressing.

No, wait, wait, wait.

You've got to close

your other tabs.

I've tried. I'm trying.

-You're making me nervous.

-No, click that one.

-Click the button.

-Ah, here, that's all

you had to say.

There we go. Got it.

Everyone, listen up

to the holy royal decree.

[Junipero]

Pantius, you worthless idiot.

Come back here and save us!

Oh, when I get my hands

on your tiny horn, I'll--

Oh, oh, oh,

okay, all righty.

Yup, yup, let's just

skip ahead a little.

Uh, when she gets angry,

she embellishes a bit.

My horn may be below average,

but far from tiny.

Ah, here we go.

[Uniturius] Hon, you're

a beautiful equine goddess,

but perhaps this isn't the best

time to insult the guards.

[Junipero] Fine, Pantius,

project the rest of this message

throughout the kingdom.

Ooo-kay.

How do I project all over

the town speakers again?

-Click that one. That one.

-[buttons beeping]

Okay, right.

[Junipero]

Noble residents

of the city of Glimmastag,

the sins and blasphemous

misdeeds of my son,

Prince Purpleton, hast brought

a great evil to this pure city.

His unrestricted use of magic

in our society

has given birth

to the apocalypse.

Death will come for all.

There is no hope.

There is no escape.

Blood will rain.

I'm sorry.

[all screaming]

Don't worry your beautiful

horns, everyone.

I'm here to save you.

I said don't worry!

-Be quiet, y'all!

-[screaming stops]

Thanks, buddy.

It's all good, unicorns.

Everything is perfect

and beautiful

just the way it is.

[somber music]

What is she doing here?

I'll deal with you later.

Traitor.

Let's go, Prince Purpleton!

Launch!

[playful music]

[grunting]

Hoo-hoo! [laughs]

Whoo-hoo!

-[screams]

-[neighs]

[exciting rock music]

[grunts]

Whoo!

[laughs]

[roars]

[grunting]

[screams]

Hmm? Um...

[roars]

[suspenseful music]

[groaning]

[Peanut Butter Sparkle]

Dad, stop!

[gasps]

If you stop, I'll--

[sighs]

I'll go with you.

[roars]

Yes, okay?

Yes.

Just give me one more night

with my friends.

[groaning]

[Peanut Butter Sparkle]

You're going to be okay, Matt.

Everything's going to be

all right, please.

[Violet]

Hi, it's Violet.

Leave a really impactful

and inspirational message

at the beep.

-[beeps]

-[Matty] Hey, Violet.

I haven't heard from you

in a few days,

so just wanted to check in.

Um, I know things

got a bit awkward

and confusing on the ducks.

But I had a great time.

Just happy things are back

to the way they were.

I think you're the best.

Love you.

[Violet]

Hi, it's Violet.

Leave a really impactful

and inspirational message

at the beep.

-[beeps]

-[Matty] Hey, Violet.

It's me again.

Sorry for four calls in a row.

I know that's a lot,

but I really want to talk

to you about some stuff.

Um, I guess

I can just say it now

and we can talk

about it later more,

but I went to yoga, like you had

always asked me to do,

and it's incredible.

I would love

to go with you sometime.

So, yeah,

just give me a call anytime.

And I love you. Bye.

[Violet]

Hi, it's Violet.

Leave a really impactful

and inspirational message

at the beep.

-[beeps]

-[Matty] Hey, Violet.

I know 17 calls

in a row is a lot.

I need-- I need to know

what's going on.

I can't sleep, and I, like,

can't even think straight.

I'm in a meeting at 3:30

for 30 minutes or so.

Call me any time other than

that and I'll pick up.

Please, Violet.

[sniffles]

Like, I need

to talk to you, okay? Bye.

Hey, it's Matty's phone.

And you've reached it.

Please leave me a message

'cause I love them.

-[beeps]

-[Violet] Hey, Matt.

You have to stop this.

Are you looking for some kind

of closure or something?

Here it is.

This is becoming

[echoing] way too much, dude.

We didn't even go out

for that long.

I think you're wonderful,

and I really enjoyed

our time together.

But the truth is,

you hurt me very, very badly.

We both know that you

breaking up with me

was not a spur-of-the-moment

decision,

and I can't go back

to before you told me that

the whole time

we were together,

it never felt right to you.

Everything we did

all feels like a lie now.

I'm happy you're doing well

and improving yourself,

but that is all you.

Don't put any of that on me.

[sighs] Matt, you are sweet

and selfish

and full of potential,

and I never want

to hear from you again.

Goodbye.

[dramatic music]

-[heavy breathing]

-[crickets chirping]

[light music]

[inhales sharply]

Mm.

Prince Purpleton

was the one who found me

when I escaped my dad.

He made me feel like

how I always dreamed I could be

rather than

who I was raised to be.

I didn't know that was possible

before I met him.

But I saw you

reach out to him.

[crunching, rustling]

[mysterious music]

I was always so terrified

of this body defining me.

I have no clue how I came

from him, but I am not his.

No matter how far I get away,

he's still here.

He raised me

with so much hatred.

Oh, maybe I should just accept

it and go back home

so he doesn't hurt anyone else.

All this destruction,

it's my fault.

Do you want to just

take a deep breath with me?

[both breathing deeply]

You are a sparkly,

colorful, magical,

very annoying elf fairy.

That's what you are.

[sighs] Mm.

My dad didn't come here

just for me.

He feeds off of repression.

If these unicorns keep

suppressing their gross magic,

he's only gonna

get more powerful.

I want to help you.

[dramatic music]

[snoring]

[birds chirping]

[suspenseful music]

[roars]

No way, dude.

She's staying with us.

-She is our family.

-[giggles]

You ready, buddy?

You know it.

Let's go.

[retches]

[whinnies]

[bright music]

[laughing]

Ah!

[retches]

[shouting]

Ah!

[whinnies]

What?

You three are here?

Oh, yeah, buddy, I guess.

I'm not really sure where here

is, but we made it.

I love you so much, buddy.

And I'm so glad you finally

made peace with the critters

-in your backyard.

-We did.

We really did.

We bonded over pickles.

Sethward, that's awesome.

You can do it.

You can defeat the mean horsey.

You got this, Matty. Whoo.

Oh, thanks, Nance.

I love you.

Love you, Matty.

Go get that big, mean horsey.

Oh, Mark, you're like

a diamond necklace

I never want to sell

or lose or anything.

We got you, buddy.

Whoo-hoo!

[roars]

[grunts]

[smooches]

Hmm.

[suspenseful music]

[liquid bubbling]

[dramatic music]

[shimmering tone]

[exciting music]

[roars]

[retches]

[uplifting music]

[roars]

Oh.

[retches]

[soft music]

[groaning]

[whinnies]

Ah!

[laughter]

Yeah!

[whinnies]

[Junipero]

Prince Purpleton,

what have you done

to my beautiful city?

You! You are the worst son

imaginable.

[Uniturius]

Sweetie, that's enough.

[gasps]

Honey snuggle love horn,

I need you to stop yelling

and look around.

[all groaning]

Can't you see,

my queenie-peenie?

Outlawing our true

gross magic and just

letting out the beautiful parts

doesn't work.

You can't expect all good

with no gross.

That's just not how magic

works for unicorns.

Well, that's how

it works for me.

I don't have a problem

keeping down the nastiness.

So no one else should.

Keeping your weird tucked away

has changed you.

I'll love you no matter what,

but that wild, young princess

I fell for has been hiding

for a long time.

She wasn't afraid of anything,

especially not a little bit

of rainbow goo.

Or even a lot of bit of rainbow

goo, for that matter.

But then she became queen

and started acting

like what she thought a queen

was supposed to act like.

How did we get here?

Look what we caused by being

so afraid of being ourselves.

These old traditions

are just getting in the way

of everyone's happiness

and probably causing

a lot of constipation.

You got to let

your freak flag fly, baby.

-[grunting]

-Everything will be okay.

[whinnying]

[dramatic music]

Oh, Mommy, just let it go.

It's fine.

[retching]

[laughs]

[neighs]

[laughing]

[retching]

[bright music]

Mommy, I love you!

-I love you! Ah!

-[laughs]

I'm so sorry, my loves.

Snap! She loves me.

I think she loves me.

-I think she really does.

-Mm.

[laughs] Oh, it's okay,

my furry love scone.

Ah! Ah!

We're gonna have so much fun!

[laughter]

-And, Pantius,

come here at once.

-Oh!

From this day forward, you will

be known as Sir Pantius,

-Knight of Butterflies.

-[gasps]

[stammers]

I-- I thank you, my queen.

Sir Pantius, one more thing.

Promise to make sure

that adorable unifoal

lets her freak flag fly!

[retches]

Yes, my queen.

[laughter]

Candy for everyone.

[laughs]

[soft music]

[soft piano music]

Hello.

Matt Kiel here.

I'm doing this "Show & Tell"

story tonight.

It's about saying good job,

you defeated the impossible

voices in your head.

[no audible dialog]

I made this,

uh, very short cartoon

'cause I got really

frustrated one day.

Good job, buddy.

[laughter]

Whoo!

[whistles and applause]

We're here at "Show & Tell

Show & Tell Spectacular."

We're watching all these crazy

videos with kooky characters.

These are my shoes.

These are my legs.

That's my torso.

And this is my face,

money maker.

We got live fires here.

That's right,

you saw it for yourself.

Well, you got it.

That's my legs. That's my--

[laughter]

So that's it.

I just hope for joy

and gratitude and generosity,

like, me to others.

[no audible dialogue]

Ooh!

Nothing matters

except this moment right here.

I love you.

Um, I'm at a breaking point.

I haven't had a lot of sleep.

Well, we talked Friday,

we texted,

but I haven't seen her

in almost two weeks.

And then before that,

it was two weeks and a day.

And then before that--

It's like I'm, like, sinking.

It's like I'm literally

in this, like,

big ocean of, like,

fear and love, and I'm like--

the water's fear

and the air is love

and I just, like,

dip my head under,

and I just can't breathe.

And then something,

like, kicks inside of me,

like this feeling

of realization

or this feeling of comfort

and love and awake-ness.

And I just dip my head back,

and I'm like, whoa.

And then I see all of it,

just everything I want.

And it's like this

emotional feeling of more joy

than anything I could feel.

And whatever happens

is gonna be the best thing

but, like, if I just let it.

I'm doing a show at 10:00,

and it's gonna be a doozy.

[birds calling]

[retches]