03x14 - Wonderful World/U.S. Acres: The Orson Awards/The Garfield Workout

[bunniefuu]

Narrator:

Narrator: Ladies

Narrator: Ladies and

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen,

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield and

♪ We're, we're ♪

♪ Ready, ready ♪

♪ To, to ♪

♪ Party ♪

♪ We're ready to party ♪

♪ We're ready ♪

♪ Yay ♪

♪ I hope you bring
lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ I'm scared ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the
place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party
with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Dancing, fiesta ♪

♪ Romancing, siesta ♪

♪ Samba, let's bamba ♪

♪ Ay caramba ♪

♪ Disguises, disguises ♪

♪ Surprises, surprises ♪

♪ And pies of, and pies of ♪

♪ All sizes ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the
place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party
with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party
with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Garfield and friends ♪

- [Garfield] Enough of
this entertainment jazz.

Let's have some commercials.

[fly buzzes]

Hello there, little housefly.

Wait you're not a house-
fly, you're a Zordogian

Sun Sponge sent to rob
Earth of all its sunbeams.

Wait, Zordogians get
their energy from the sun.

If I close the drapes
I will deprive it

of life-giving sunlight.

Die, sun sucker!

Haha!

It's already disinte-
grating into a hideous,

green, gelatinous mass.

- I hate being left out.

[upbeat music]

[whimpers]

- [Garfield] Either
Jon's home or someone's

put a VCR down the
garbage disposal.

- I don't know what I'm
gonna do about that car.

They can't fix it.

I don't think we can
take our big vacation.

I really need a vacation,
but I don't know how--

- [TV] It's the most
fun place to vacation

on the whole planet and
it's right here in town.

Come to Wonderful
World, a magic land

full of fun things to do.

Founded by the master of fun
and fantasy, Wilson Wonder.

- That's where we'll go.

- [TV] That's Wonderful World.

The most fun place
on the planet.

- Come on, guys, my car can
get us a Wonderful World.

- [Garfield] The
pizza place is closer.

Does he ever listen to me?

No.

- Here we are, boys.

Wonderful World.

Keep Odie on the
leash, Garfield.

This must be where
we buy tickets.

- Hey, um, I'm having lunch,
come back another time

like Labor Day, huh?

- But we want to buy tickets.

- Buy, you mean as in pay money?

Why didn't you say so?

- [Garfield] Of course
you recognize him,

he's a recurring character.

- Three admissions.

That'll be $99.

- $99?

- There you go and keep
that dog on a leash

and let me finish my lunch, huh?

- Come on, guys, we're
going to the most

fun place on the planet.

- [Garfield] If they
don't have lasagna

I'm suing for false advertising.

- There he is, Wilson Wonder.

The man who designed
Wonderful World.

He built all the fun rides
we're about to go on.

I can't wait to see this
beautiful amusement park.

Wonderful World is the--

- [Garfield] Let's get
him out of here before

the pigeons decide
he's another statue.

- Okay, we paid for
a good time and I'm

determined to have a good time.

Here's $10, you can do
whatever you want with it.

- [Garfield] I know
just what I want to do.

- Now, Odie, we're going to.

[whistles]

Garfield!

You cannot take a taxi home.

- [Garfield] You said I
could do whatever I wanted.

- Step right up.

Knock down the milk
bottles and win a new car.

- A new car!

I can use a new car.

- There you go, sir.

I'd wish you luck, but
it won't do any good.

- Wait til you see this.

They used to call
me no-hit Arbuckle.

- [Garfield] But only
when he was at bat.

- Some throw.

I've seen better pitchers
that were full of milk.

- Let me have another ball.

- [Garfield] Do the words
giving up mean anything to you?

- I'm not giving up.

I'm gonna win that car.

[upbeat music]

[pants]

- [Garfield] A lollipop
company just called,

they'd like you to pose for
the world's largest sucker.

- I'm out of money.

- [Garfield] Come on, Odie.

Let's find something edible.

[whimpers]

This place was supposed
to be so much fun.

What happened to it?

[barks]

No way, dogala, I'm not
getting on any rides.

I'm keeping my tummy
right where it is.

On the inside.

[sniffs]

What is it, something to eat?

Some Italian?

Chinese?

I love funhouse mirrors.

[laughs]

This one makes me look
real wide and fat.

Oh, this isn't a
funhouse mirror.

Odie!

- Well, little puppy,
where did you come from?

And a kitty.

My first company in years.

I'm Wilson Wonder.

I built this amusement
park and I've been

living down here for years.

My staff runs it for me.

Isn't this a wonderful,
magnificent amusement park?

It isn't?

Oh my goodness.

Look what they've
done to this place.

My Wonderful World.

- [Garfield] I'm holding
on to you so you can't

get me into any more trouble.

- Oh I love money
can't buy happiness,

but it can sure rent.

- [Wilson] Swindler!

- Oh no!

I know that voice.

- What have you done to my park?

- [stammers] Mister Wonder!

- Come back here
so I can fire you!

- [Garfield] Whoa, Odie!

My paw's caught!

- I've gotta get away from him!

[upbeat music]

[blows raspberry]

[screams]

Hey, hey this is fun.

I wonder why I
closed this ride down.

Oh, I remember.

Part of the track was missing.

Oh now I think of that?

- What a waste of money, I...

- [Garfield] No.

We are not going around again.

- Oh what else can
go wrong today.

- Hey, my cat and dog knocked
over the milk bottles.

Huh, I guess we win the new car.

[groans]

- I neglected my Wonderful
World, but no more.

I'm going to get it all fixed
up to be beautiful again.

Right, Swindler?

- [stammers] Yes,
sir, Mr Wonder.

- And I hope you'll
come back and visit.

This will be a place
of miracles again.

- You can count
on it, Mr Wonder.

Want to get something
to eat, guys?

- [Garfield] No, don't
even mention food.

- Garfield doesn't want lunch?

I think your miracles
have already started.

- Tonight at Orson's barnyard,

the stars of the farm
world have gathered for

the 32nd annual Orson Awards!

The excitement is building
as the stars arrive.

Here's that half-pint
pair, Booker and Sheldon.

Well the awards will
start just as soon

as our host Orson Pig arrives.

- No, N-O, no, negative,
no chance, no way,

no, opposite of yes, that is no.

- Wade, it's just a
simple little ceremony.

You have to go.

What if you win?

- If I win I'll have
to get up there and

make a speech in front
of all those people.

- Yeah, but you might not win.

- If I don't win I'll
be humiliated and

laughed upon by all.

- Okay, fine, do
whatever you want.

I have to go host
the ceremonies.

- I must summon
up all my courage.

I summoned it up,
I don't have any.

- Uh-oh, I'm late nothing
had better get in my way.

- Hi, brother, nice
running into you.

- Or versi versi.

- Guys, I have to go
host the award show.

- [Mort] Oh, we wouldn't
dream of delaying you.

- You gotta go give
out the awards.

- To us.

- If we don't win us an award.

- You're gonna get pounded.

- Is that clear?

- Very clear.

[laughs]

- Let's go get ourselves all
pretty to accept our award.

[drum rolls]

- Our first category
is Best Performance

by a Chicken or Rooster
in a Supporting Role.

- Whoa, here it comes.

My first award.

I'm gonna win,
oh, I'm gonna win.

You're not and I am.

- The nominees are Booker
Chick for his performance

in Gone with the Worm.

- Ha!

Caught ya!

Okay, you lowdown side-
winding varmint of a worm!

I caught ya, you're--

A bull, you're a bull.

I'm getting out of
here and you're a bull.

[crowd applauds]

- Not bad.

- Our next nominee
Sheldon Chick in

the Yolks in Me.

This Count Dracula
guy was really scary.

- [Sheldon] I'm not
afraid of Count Dracula.

I'm not afraid of
him, or Frankenstein,

or the Wolfman, or
the mummy either.

- Well, who are you afraid of?

- [Sheldon] The Easter bunny!

[crowd applauds]

- A noble attempt.

- And our last nominee
in this category,

Roy rooster in
Remember the A La Mode.

- Excuse me, but have
you read the warning

label on that pie?

It's on the side of the tin.

That pie contains sugar,
partially hydrogenated

vegetable oil,
modified corn starch,

artificial flavoring, and salt.

You don't want to eat that.

Why don't you let me have it?

It also says here not
to be taken externally.

[applauds]

Bravo! Genius!

A classic! Four stars!

Thumbs up! Kudos!

- And the winner is.

Well, we have a tie.

Booker and Sheldon!

- An unimportant award.

Nice to see the
kids win something.

- Orson is right.

I must overcome my
fears and go into that

award ceremony with
my head held high.

I cannot think of one reason
why I should be afraid.

But I can think of three.

Gee, it's kind of
nice under here.

Not a bad place to spend
the rest of my life.

- And the winner of the
best barnyard art design is

Bo Sheep.

- Like, I won this
last year, man.

Hey, muchas gracias, people.

I'd like to think like everybody

I ever knew in my
entire life and

while I'm at it anybody
I haven't met yet.

I think that covers everybody.

- Let's act real surprised
when we get our award.

- And now we have one
more award, folks,

but first, what award
ceremony would be complete

without an embarrassing
musical production number.

- This is my last chance.

If I'm gonna get
one of those awards

I'll have to do
something sneaky.

[dance music]

I'm sorry to do this, Orson,
but I am a desperate rooster.

No matter what name's
in that envelope

the award goes to Roy.

[mumbles]

Thank you, ladies, thank you.

Well and now our last
category Best Performance

by a cartoon character
on this series,

let's forget about the
nominees and just give

me, er, uh the winner my
award and the winner is

Wade Duck?

Ahem, the winner is Roy Rooster.

- [Wort] We've been
double crossed!

- [Roy] I'll go right
off stage and get Roy

to accept this wonderful award.

[groans]

- These award shows
are all the same, man.

- [Roy] No, I'm not him!

- Sorry for the
interruption, folks.

The last award
goes to Wade Duck.

Wade couldn't be here so
I'll accept on his be--

- Who says I couldn't be here?

Wade Duck is here and
Wade Duck shall accept

Wade Duck's award!

[clears throat]

I would like to thank
all the many individuals

who made this great
honor possible.

My cousin Mortimer in St Louis.

My cousin Lewis in St Mortimer.

My dear aunt Sophie.

My strange aunt Harold.

My third grade health
teacher who taught me

the value of the
liverwurst sandwich.

Oh and I want to thank all
the members of the academy.

And the members of the 4H Club

and everyone in the
whole country named Al

and I would also
like to thank myself

because I won and without
me I would not have won,

you know.

[jazzy music]

[pants]

Huh?

Who are you, are you a monster?

Oh, it's only you, Odie.

Oh sure you can sleep with me.

There you go, boy, get comfy.

[screams]

Now who are you?

Oh it's you, Garfield.

I wish you wouldn't do that.

What are you trying
to do, scare us?

- [Garfield] Are you
ready to do the workout?

- [All] Yes!

- [Garfield] Good!

You do the workout,
I'm gonna take a nap.

- [Narrator] Caution,
the exercises you

are about to see
should not be attempted

except under the
care of a doctor or

a good Italian chef.

- [Garfield] Hey,
I'm trying to sleep.

- [Narrator] Remember
to warm up your muscles

before exercising
and your TV dinners

before eating and
remember to breathe.

- [Garfield] Okay.

Might as well get
this over with.

Today we're gonna teach you
how to get in shape like me.

You'll learn great exercises
like the aerobic pasta lift.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Or the cardiovascular
refrigerator door press.

And then there's my
favorite aerobic snoring.

Snore, two, three, four.

Snore, two, three, four.

Now that's my kind of exercise,

but I hear there are some folks

who really want to work out.

Who in the world
could be so dumb?

missed a cue yet.

My annoyingly active
assistant here

will show what a
normal workout is like.

The point of the
Garfield workout is to

not do this kind of stuff.

Assistant?

[pants]

It wears me out
just watching this.

Now people often ask
me, How do you know

if you're overweight?

- [Man] Hey, Garfield,
how do you know

if you're overweight?

- [Garfield] See,
there's one now.

Here are a few hints
which might indicate

you're a bit overweight.

For example, if you
have to get an entire

math class together in
order to seesaw with you.

Or if you need to use an
instant camera in order

to see what your feet look like.

Hey, I remember them.

I was once wearing
socks for three weeks

and didn't know it.

Or if you need to wear two
watches because your body

covers two different time zones.

Or when you have to
go out to where they

weigh trucks when you
need to find out if

you've put on a
few extra pounds.

But perhaps the best
indicator of overweight

is when you can fall
down and not find out

about it for days.

You can also tell if
you're overweight by.

No shirking!

Drop and give me 20!

[pants]

You can also tell
if you're overweight

by the way people describe you.

- Arbuckle you really
ought to go out with

my daughter sometime,
she's really nice.

- - [Garfield] That
means she's fat.

- In fact, she's really sweet.

- [Garfield] It mean
she's incredibly fat.

- And very graceful.

- [Garfield] So fat you
wouldn't believe it.

- Oh and she has a
wonderful personality.

- [Garfield] If you
come to pick her up,

bring a moving van.

Okay, now take a few
laps around Jon's date.

Now diet is also important.

There are many kinds of diets.

The barbecued rib diet,
the chocolate mousse

and layer cake diet,
the sausage pizza with

extra cheese diet,
but the most effective

is what I call the sit diet.

Very simply you can
eat whatever you like

as long as you sit
on an equal portion.

The sit diet is based
on the principle

that the foods
highest in calories

are also the most
disgusting to sit in.

For example, a lettuce leaf.

Very low in calories.

Okay, disgusting one.

- [Nermal] But, Garfield,
I don't want to--

- [Garfield] Sit.

See. No problem to sit on.

On the other hand here's a
cocoa vanilla pudding cake

with fudgy frosting.


Per crumb.

Notice what happens
when you sit on this.

- [Nermal] Garfield!

Sitting on cakes isn't cute!

- [Garfield] Neither is being
Air Express to Abu Dhabi.

Now sit!

Fattening foods are
no fun to sit in,

but with the sit
diet if you want

it badly enough to sit
in it, you can eat it.

Now if the sit diets
too messy for you,

you might like the comedy diet.

With this diet you can
eat anything you want

as long as someone is
throwing it at you.

Hey, bus companies are all doing

their part for physical fitness.

Each year they're stopping
farther and farther

from the curb.

Hey, I know you're
out there, folks,

I can hear you leaving.

I went to my doctor he
said I was overweight,

I said if you don't mind I
like to get a second opinion,

he said in that case
you're ugly too.

Oh I'm on a roll.

Hey, I wouldn't say
I'm lazy, but my idea

of aerobics is snoring
in time to the music.

Hey, I just got rid of 40
pounds of unsightly fat.

I sold Nermal.

The trouble with this diet
is you get mostly vegetables.

And an occasional
banana cream pie.

Assistant!

Front and center!

Now have you done a
traditional workout?

Push-ups, sit-ups, jogging,
all that kind of stuff?

And how do you feel?

Now I ask you, does this
look like good health?

That's an old fashioned workout.

Now I am going to show
you the main activity

of the Garfield workout.

This is it, folks.

[snores]

- That's not the
Garfield workout.

I'll show you the
Garfield workout.

Oh look, my pepperoni and
Parmesan lasagna is done.

[upbeat music]

Three, two, one.

Now that's the Garfield workout.

[upbeat music]