02x15 - Binky Goes Bad!/U.S. Acres: Barn of Fear/Mini-Mall Matters

[bunniefuu]

- Garfield,

- Garfield, what

- Garfield, what happened

-To my favorite record?ed

- I scratched it.

- And what happened to

The lasagna I fixed for dinner?

- I ate it.

- Garfield, why is it

You scratch, eat, and destroy

Everything in sight?

- I can't help it.

I'm a sl*ve to my passions.

- I'm sorry, garfield.

If you didn't do those things,

You wouldn't be my cat.

I love you for what you are.

- That's okay.

- Uh, what happened to my fern?

- Don't ask.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to help you get started, ♪

媻 to give you a
push on your way. 媻

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to turn you around ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they'll pick you ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- 媻 help you swallow
your pride, ♪

™ª when something inside's ♪

™ª got to break on through ♪

™ª to the other side ♪

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you've got ♪

™ª the world on your shoulders ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there when ♪

™ª you need them ♪

™ª they're even there ♪

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park, ♪

™ª or a shot in the dark, ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- ™ª but friends will care ♪

媻 for you. 媻

- Today, featuring binky

The clown, so turn up

The volume, kids.

- All rise.

- Call the case, bailiff.

- The state versus

Binky the clown.

- Sondheim, send in the clown.

- Hey, judge!

- Binky doesn't deserve

To be in jail.

- Binky clown, have you

Ever been up before me?

- I don't know, your honor.

What time do you get up?

- No. Maybe he does.

- Take the stand.

- Where do you want me

To take it, huh?

- Your honor, we intend

To prove that this...

This clown is

Guilty of robbery, grand theft,

And burglary in

The first degree.

I have written out the charges.

That's odd.

Where are my briefs?

- Hey, did you lose these?

- It looks bad for binky.

- I'll say.

Three more of these jokes

And he may get the chair.

- Binky, what have you to say

About the d.a.'S charges?

- I think if he uses

A credit card,

He ought to pay them.

- I can't take

Any more of this.

Binky behind bars.

How can I find out what

Led to this? I know.

Let's see, this is

A script to today's show.

I'll go back a few pages.

Binky was your average, honest,

Tremendously annoying clown.

[ Laughs ]

- Everyone loved binky.

Everyone who owned

Earplugs, that is.

But there was one man

Who not only hated binky,

He had an idea.

[ Laughs ]

- Binky, you're going to make

Me a fortune.

- His name was stinky davis,

And he was wanted in 12 states,

And not wanted in

All the others.

In his earlier days,

Stinky has been

A clown himself,

But he was thrown out

Of the clown union for making

Naughty balloon animals.

Now he disguised himself

As an exact duplicate

Of binky and--

Oh, no.

It's-- it's an evil twin story.

It's come to that.

Soon stinky began a crime wave.

- Hey, bank teller, give me

All your money, or else.

[ Laughs ]

- No one was safe from him.

- Hey, jewelry store owner,

I got a lemon meringue pie,

And I know how to use it.

Ah, the klopman diamond.

[ Laughs ]

- Soon he had enlisted

A whole g*ng of clowns

To spread his terror.

- Help! Oh no!

Someone call the police!

- The police were on the job,

But they were no match

For bink -- I mean, stinky.

- I can't see.

All units be on

The lookout for a clown.

Red nose, orange hair,

Feet size 37.

- In no time at all

They'd identified their suspect.

- Reach for the trapeze, clown.

- That's when binky

Made his mistake.

He ran, or rather, he blew.

- He's getting away.

There he goes!

After him.

There he is, he went

Into that bakery.

Come out and there

Will be no trouble.

Get back.

He's armed with custard.

That bakery is well stocked.

He could hold up in there

For days.

Dispatch, we have a 708

Out here.

That's right, clown barricaded

Inside bakery with pies.

We need the baked goods

Swat team.

[ Siren ]

- Binky, this is the police.

We have the place surrounded.

Put down your meringue

And come out with your hands up.

Do you understand?

I hoped it wouldn't

Come to this.

- The police tried everything.

- Binky, we have

Your mother out here.

Please come out.

Okay. I'm through

Being mr. Nice clown.

Bring in the secret weapon.

[ Organ music ]

[ Drumroll ]

- Ta-da! Uh-oh.

- Clowns is so stupid.

- Binky was quickly id'd.

- That's him.

That's the one with

The round red nose.

I'd know him anywhere.

- And so binky was

Brought to trial.

There must be a way

To prove his innocence.

I wonder where

Stinky the clown is now.

Probably hiding somewhere.

[ Elephant trumpeting ]

- Of course, if a clown

Wants to hide,

Where's the best place?

In a circus.

[ Blows whistle ]

- And in summation,

I demand that this clown

Be sent to prison

For the next 99 years.

[ Circus music ]

[ Elephant trumpeting ]

- Your honor, I object.

He's turning this courtroom

Into a circus.

- Uh-oh.

- There's two binkys!

- Which one is the real one?

- I'm the real binky.

- No, I am.

- I never lied to him

In my life.

[ Overlapping dialogue ]

- How can we tell which

Is the real binky?

- Ahem.

Just read this line of dialogue,

Your judgeship, sir.

- All right.

What is this you're

Showing me, kitty cat?

Order in the court.

- I want a ham on rye,

Hold the mayo.

- There's the real binky.

- Arrest that phony.

- Hey, you can't do this to me.

I'll get you for this, cat.

- The real binky could

Never resist a very old joke.

- Garfield, you're a hero.

I'll bet binky wants

To thank you.

- Hey, cat,

I owe you a big favor.

So from now on, I'm going

To visit you every day

And bring you lots of surprises

Like this.

I'll make your life

So much fun.

- Maybe I made a mistake.

[ Laughing ]

- That got them.

Oh, boy, do they look stupid!

[ Rumbling ]

I meant to do that.

- The barn's loaded to

Capacity with vegetables.

- Uh, but where are

We going to sleep?

Every building's filled

With crops.

- Well, I'm sure

There's still enough room

For us to sleep in here.

- He's been squashed,

By squash. Ha!

- The farmer's almanac says

It's going to rain tonight.

- Brr, I don't want

To sleep out in the rain.

- Why don't we stay out

In the old barn tonight?

- The old barn?

Oh, no, siree, uh-uh.

Negative.

No way jose.

Nyet, nein.

The old barn is haunted.

- Really?

- Sure.

The legend of the old barn

Has been passed down

From generation to generation.

- Tell us the story, orson.

- Well, many years ago...

- Let me tell it, orson.

Let me. Let me.

You always get

To do the flashback.

- Be my guest.

[ Clears throat ]

- Well, a long time ago,

When our ancestors came here

As pioneers, the frontier

Was wild.

So life was dangerous

For farmers.

They needed to constantly

Protect themselves

From vegetable thieves.

That is why they built

The old barn and pledged

With all their might

To defend the crops.

And as the legend goes,

Their ghosts still live there,

Watching over the farm.

- Wow!

- Guys, there are

No such things as ghosts.

[ Gulps ]

- You can say that again.

[ Gulps ]

- The old barn is a good place

To stay until the rain stops.

- Tomorrow we'll go steal

All the vegetables

Orson just harvested.

- Hey, somebody's coming.

- It's our stupid little

Brother and his friends.

- If they catch us here,

It's going to ruin our plans.

- Yeah. We'll just have

To scare them away.

[ Laughing ]

- This place is filled

With antiques.

- It's an education

In the way work used to be done

On the farm before

Modern machinery.

I'll bet no one's been

In here for years.

- Yeah. Let's keep it that way.

- Wade, what are you afraid of?

- Oh, only everything.

- Let's go to sleep.

[ Snoring ]

- Do you hear anything?

- Why, do you?

- No.

- Hold it.

Do you realize what
we all sound like?

- What?

- We sound like you.

- Oh, that bad?

- The ghosts are going

To get us.

- They'll haunt us

And slime us.

- If orson says there are

No such things as ghosts,

Then I believe him.

[ Moaning ]

- He's a pig, what does

He know about this stuff?

[ Chain rattles ]

- All in favor of

Running in terror, say aye.

- Aye.

- Well, it's unanimous.

[ Screaming ]

- Nothing in this world

Is stopping me from walking out

That door.

- Boo.

- Except him.

[ Screaming ]

- Who will be the first to go?

- You go first?

- No. No.

- No you.

- No you go.

- I'll say you.

- No. No.

- You first, second, third.

- Orson, wake up.

- Huh?

- Ghosts all over the place.

- These are not ghosts,

These are my brothers.

- Orson, you're on top

Of everything.

[ Shouting ]

- That hurt, don't do that.

- Well, maybe not everything.

- Don't waste your time

Struggling.

[ Snort ]

- The rain stopped and

The sun's almost up.

Almost time to harvest.

- We're taking every

Last radish in that barn.

- And there's nothing

You can do to stop us.

[ Overlapping dialogue ]

- Who done that?

- What's going on here?

- I don't know.

But let's not stick around.

- Orson, what happened?

- And who's untying us?

- I-- I don't know, but

We're getting out of here too.

- Orson, I thought you said

There are no such things

As ghosts.

- There aren't.

There was probably

An earthquake. Yeah.

An earthquake knocked all

Those things on them.

- That great-great-grandson

Of mine just does not believe.

- Well, we drove those

Vegetable thieves off.

Forsooth, things haven't

Changed much since

Thy and my day.

'Tis a pity.

- Ghosts!

- Brother duck,

Thou art a ghost too.

- Ha ha!

Rightfully so.

I keepeth forgetting, forsooth.

- And now it's time

For screaming with binky.

Shh.

We're at cedars of muncie

Hospital, where at this moment,

Famed brain surgeon

E. Thomas hubey is performing

Delicate surgery.

This is the most delicate part

Of the operation.

It requires steady hands

And microscopic precision.

- We are ready for

The final procedure.

Absolute quiet everyone.

- Hey doc.

Hey, good thing this happened

Here in a hospital.

The whole place

Is full of doctors.

- Don't go away folks.

- But I don't need

Anything removed.

[ Shouting ]

- We'll be right back.

[ Clears throat ]

- From time to time

On this show,

We like to bring you something

A little educational.

No. No.

Don't change channels,

It's not that educational.

Today we're going to discuss

An important new development

In the world, the mini mall.

What is a mini mall you ask?

A mini mall is

A whole bunch of stores

You'd never go to except

That they're all together

So it's convenient.

Mini malls are springing up

All over.

Some people wonder how companies

Are able to build them so fast.

Well, the secret is,

Mini malls aren't built.

They're grown. Observe.

When a likely looking site

Is picked, a worker arrives

And digs a small hole,

Like this.

Next comes the mini mall seed.

The seed is covered over,

And then comes the next step,

Watering.

Okay, odie.

Let her go.

[ Barking ]

- Be very careful to use water

And not oil, or you might

Accidentally grow a gas station.

Next comes the hard part:

Waiting.

It takes a while-- hold on.

I think it's taking effect.

It's starting to work.

Yes, it's working.

We have just grown

A new mini mall.

Let's take a closer

Look at what goes

Into a mini mall, shall we?

This is a mini market,

This is a mini cafeteria,

And this is a mini pharmacy.

We were going to show you

A mini mouse,

But she's on another show.

[ Whining and barking ]

- Whatever it is,

It'll have to wait.

I'm in the middle of my lecture.

In addition, every mini mall

Has one of the following

Types of store.

A dry cleaner, a copy place,

A store that sells

Chinese food,

A place to rent videotapes,

A one-hour photo

Processing shop.

The one-hour photo processing

Shop is my favorite.

It's for people

Who can't remember

What their friends looked like


Your average mini mall

Has 17 stores, 58 employees,

And, of course,

Around four places to park.

It's also required by law

That every mini mall

Have at least one store

Selling croissants

And/or soft frozen yogurt.

[ Whining and barking ]

- Not now. I'm busy.

In most stores at the mini mall,

You'll be asked

To take a number.

Do so, and quietly

Wait your turn.

- Number three.

Number three.

- Let's see what number I have.

Hmm, 3478.

This could take a while.

- Four.

Anyone have number four?

Last call for number four.

Number five?


Last call.

Wait, that's me.

People will be courteous

And polite when you visit

The mini mall.

You should respond the same way.

- Welcome to fred's croissants

And/or soft frozen yogurt.

Today's flavors are vanilla,

Chocolate, strawberry, cherry,

Pineapple, peach, cheese dip,

Bubble gum, tooti fruit,

Apricot, liver, spearmint,

And mocha.

Have a free sample.

- What?

No lasagna flavored?

- Have a nice day.

[ Whining and barking ]

- All right already.

What is it?

The water is still on?

Irrigating the mini mall land?

- Uh-huh.

- But that means it's flooding,

And--

Oh, no.

It's floating away.

We've got to catch it.

Faster, odie,

It's heading for the ocean,

And if it gets there,

There could be a bad

Soft frozen yogurt spill.

[ Barking ]

- We're too late, odie.

It's heading out to sea.

- Aw.

- Oh, well, it's not like

There's a shortage of them.

Let's go back and grow another.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Due to circumstances

Beyond our control,

We have to conclude this look

At today's modern mini mall.

Paddle faster, odie,

I'm late for lunch.

- Mini malls?

I've been shipwrecked

Here for 20 years.

I've never seen a--

Boy, they're building

Those things

Everywhere these days.

At last!

I haven't eaten in months.

Quick, give me something eat.

Anything!

- For better service,

Please take a number.

- I have number 2912.

- Number six?

Anybody have number six?

Last call for six.

Seven?

- Anybody want

To trade numbers?