06x09 - Paddle Field Earth

[bunniefuu]

- Last time,
on Total Drama Island...

It was an eating challenge.

Bowie puked.

Priya puked.

Zee puked when he found out

milk came out of cows.

Emma and Chase puked
on each other.

And Chef made everybody puke
just a little bit more.

Oh, and Julia won immunity...
which sent Ripper packing.

So grab a bucket 'cause
there's plenty more fun

coming all the way back up,

here on Total...

Drama...

Island!

♪ Hey what's up
I'm here to slay ♪

♪ Don't know why the rest
even bother to stay ♪

♪ I know the game
And I brought the skill ♪

♪ Crushing players' dreams
Yeah, you know the drill ♪

♪ I wanna be
I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

- Avoid my broom strikes.

You need to really focus.

You need to see with your ears.

- If you want to go
to med school, you should know
that's impossible.

[chuckling]
- Stop joking around and focus.

- Ow! Okay!

That's enough of that.

- No, you can't just
stop training and give up

on challenges whenever you want.

I'm trying to transform you
into an invincible goddess,

that can never be hit!
A force of nature!

- Hey!
- Ow!

[gasps]
- Sorry!

- It's okay.
I'm getting used to it.

- And back to me...
So, a three-person alliance

is stronger than
a two-person alliance.

And since I will not work
with Bowie,

I'm here to team up
with you two.

- Do you really think we'd like
you to join our alliance?

- You're in!
- What?!

Can you excuse us
for just a minute?

What are you doing?
Julia can't be trusted!

- I know, but think it through,
if our alliance got targeted,

they'd vote off the person
they like the least.

And that will be Julia.

- Okay, okay... I get it.

- Plus, Julia will
actually compete instead
of chickening out.

Did you see her eat
that tapeworm?!

She may be evil,
but she's determined.

With seven campers left,

an alliance of four can control
who gets eliminated.

- So we need one more.
But who?

- We need someone
who'll do what we say,

but isn't smart enough to feel
like they're just being used.

Hello there.

[chuckling]
- Free bellybutton snacks!

- Psst, over here.
- A talking bush?

That's amazing!

- Zee, we want you to join
our secret alliance

and I can give you 46
good reasons to say yes.

One--
- I'm in.

- Welcome to team Julia.

- That's not what we're calling
this alliance.

- I just saw Julia with Priya
and Millie.

They outnumber us now.

Go flirt with Chase and get him
to join our alliance.

- What?!
No, I am not doing that.

Can't I flirt with Zee instead?

- Emma. Come on. We don't even
know how flirting works

on Zee's planet.

[groaning]

- That tastes nothing
like butter.

- Need I say more?
- Fine.

I'll get Chase to join us, but
I am not flirting with him.

We need to work together
if we want to win.

Let me be perfectly clear,
this is not about love,

or even friendship,
it's about survival.

- Hear that? Emma just said
she can't survive without me!

- I feel bad for making
Emma work with him,

but, with seven of us left,
this is a numbers game.

If we get Zee as our fourth,
we'll be set.

There he is! Zee.

Over here.

- Nice try, bush, but I'm not
falling for that. Ah!

- Zee, we want you
in our alliance.

- Well...

Oh!

This has never happened
to me before,

but I think I'm getting an idea!

Yeah, I'm totally idea'ing!

[gasps]
I idea'd!

Yes. I'm in!

- My man.
And that makes four!

Now, no matter what happens
in the challenge, we're safe!

- All campers report to me
for your punishment.

I mean, heh, "the challenge".

- Everyone's gonna freak
when they find out

that I made their two alliances
into one team of awesomeness!

High five, brain!

Ow, man!

- Hey, Julia, good luck,

'cause at the elimination
ceremony, you're in
for a big surprise.

- Oh, there'll be
a surprise alright.

- Before we begin,

it seems the network
felt the cassowaries

were too dangerous, and the
wheel of vomit was too gross.

So they asked that today's
challenge be less menacing.

- Finally, a challenge I can do.

- The challenge is just
a simple canoe ride down
this calm stream,

followed by a pleasant jaunt
through a lovely field

until you reach Honey Mountain.

There, it's a leisurely hike
to the top where you'll find

the bell of tranquility.

Just a nice... easy...
challenge.

First camper to ring
the bell wins immunity

and is safe at tonight's
elimination ceremony.

So grab a helmet, a life jacket,
and pick a canoe.

Go enjoy yourselves!

On your mark, get set, go!

- I've got a good feeling
about this challenge.

And when I have a good feeling
about something,

it usually goes great!

Or really, really bad.

It's about 50/50.

- I'm glad we're getting
an easy challenge.

I needed a day off.
- Are you kidding?

This'll probably be
the worst one yet!

When Chris said it'd be
"a nice easy challenge",

he rubbed his hands together.
That's a sign of glee.

He was imagining something.

And what makes Chris gleeful?

- Seeing us get hurt?
- Right!

Then he said "Go enjoy
yourselves" and the corner
of his mouth turned upward.

He was hiding a smile.

That's what someone
who has a secret does.

And what does Chris like to keep
secrets about?

- The way he's gonna hurt us?
- Yeah. This is gonna be bad.

We need to pick up our pace,
we're falling behind!

- They've got all kinds of pain
coming their way, don't they?

- Ab-so-lutely.

- Is this water getting faster?

[screaming]

[laughing]

- I better order more
medical supplies.

- Whoa!

[screaming]

[laughing]

- Oh! My entire life
flashed before my eyes.

I have not eaten one vegetable.

- Ha! It'll take more than some
extra fast water to stop me.

Ow! Ah! That's it!

Ah!
- Oups.

Sorry, my bad.
- Hey, watch it, Blondie.

Ow!

- Emma is in the lead!

But paying a serious price
to stay there.

- Ow. Urg! Ow. Urg!

This is impossible, they're
flying in from both sides!

- Emma, if we keep our canoes
right beside each other,

you can block one side
and I can block the other!

- Okay. Fine, we can put
our canoes together.

It's a good idea.
[gasps]

- Hear that?!
Emma said us getting together
was a good idea.

And she called me "fine".

Okay, I rearranged
the order of her words,
but she said them all.

Bases are loaded, bottom of the
ninth, Chase is at the plate.

Here's the pitch...

Ah... Uh-oh.
- Ah!

Ah!

Did you just wreck my canoe?!

- No, but I... But the fish...
Baseball... And...

- Huh! I should have known
I couldn't trust you!

You'll never change!

[screaming]

- Emma's lead is quickly
evaporating.

But you know, sometimes,
you just need to slow down
and enjoy yourself.

- Wait. Don't spawning
salmon attract...

[banging]
Bears!

- Get lost, bear, I don't have
time for this!

[screaming]

- Don't wanna get too close.

I'll wait until that immunity
bell is in sight,

then I'll step over her broken
body and ding-ding-ding.

- Whoa!

Ah!

[roaring]

Okay, this could be a problem.

- Okay, just play dead
and they'll go away.

I saw it on a nature show...
or a cartoon.

Okay.
Either way, it worked.

- Okay, it's worth a shot.

[sniffing]
[gasping]

- Aunty May?
Is that you?

Tell mom I never
ate my broccoli.

I gave it to the dog and
that's why he farted so much.

Who turned out the lights?
Is it bedtime? Forever?

- Fake your death now,
or I'll make it real!

[screaming]

- See, it worked.

- Is it digging a... grave?!

[bears crying]

- The bear's digging a grave,
so, yeah...

I'm a pretty good actor.

- Sammy, this is
an important mission.

Save my teammates!

- I think they're gone!
- Hoo-hoo!

Thanks, Zee!
- Hey!

Zee's in our alliance.

Why is he helping Emma
and Chase?

- Maybe he's keeping
our alliance a secret

so they never see us coming?
- Oh wow.

Zee is actually brilliant!

- I forgot why I came in here.

- Chase and Emma,
who are now sharing a canoe,

are still in the lead,
but it's not by much.

- This is kinda romantic,
isn't it?

- Chase, we need to talk.

Bowie wanted me to flirt
with you to get you to join
our alliance.

But I didn't because I don't
want to give you false hope.

Chase, are you listening?

- Whoa, whoa.
What's that sound?

- It's me telling you
that we are never going
to be a couple again.

[rumbling]
I need you to understand me.

- Shh!
- Did you just shush me?!

- Listen! Sounds like a...

[together]: Waterfall!

[screaming]

- Where did they go?
They were just... Oh no!

[screaming]

- I'm sure more danger is
coming, so be on your toes.

- Priya!
- Never let your guard down!

- Priya!
- Be aware of your surroundings

at all ti...
[screaming]

- I think this stream's
broken, dude!

[splashing]

- I can't believe
we survived that.

- At least the challenge can't
get any more dangerous, right?

- They always say that.
And it hurts.

Don't they know me at all?

[alarm ringing]
Oh.

Would you look at that,
it's crocodile lunch time.

- Why are you like this?

[gasping]

- Careful, Ems.

Crocodiles have the strongest
bite of any animal.

- Then why are you pushing me
towards them?!

[roaring]
[screaming]

- Ha! Now get outta my way,
water lizard,

I have a bell to ring!

- You know what's stronger than
Julia's broken canoe paddle?

A crocodile's tail.

- Move.

[screaming]
- Oh that's a shame.

Thanks for keeping
them busy, Julia.

You're a real trooper.
[screaming]

- Those crocs didn't eat
a single kid!

I should have went with sharks.
Lesson learned.

- This is actually... beautiful.

- It really is.

- Ew! No.
- Don't be fooled.

This is Chris. It's definitely
more dangerous than it looks!

- So what's in the field? Huh?!
Bear traps?

- Chef! Of course not!

That could hurt
one of the bears.

- Why is the ground wet?

[gasping]
Geysers!

[screaming]

- You can't spray kids
that high into the air.
They'll get hurt!

- Relax! I had an intern
test this challenge.

[muffled screaming]

- Stick to dry ground.
If it feels wet beneath you,
move fast.

[chuckling]

- Where did you learn that,
geyser camp?

- No! It wasn't a camp!

It was more of a... week-long
retreat in the... wilderness.

- Just run fast
so the water can't find you!

[laughing]
Oh yeah!

- Zee's right.
We need to move faster!

[screaming]
- No! Wait!

- Is Zee helping the other team?

- No. He's just pretending to,
and giving them bad advice.

- Zee is, like, some kind
of secret genius!

- I know I had a reason
for coming in here.

[panting]
[rumbling]

[screaming]
[moaning]

- Millie, you're doing great!

- Well, I had
a very good trainer!

- Aw. Thanks, bestie!

[screaming]

Ow!
[screaming]

[moaning]
- Oh!

- I got to admit, Zee, you're
way sneakier than I thought.

- I don't know what you mean.

- Oh. Right.

[rumbling]
[screaming]

- I really don't know
what she means!

[screaming]
[clattering]

Chase. Dude.
You gotta knock, yo.

- Bowie is the first one
to begin the climb up
Honey Mountain,

but Julia is right on his heels!

[rumbling]
[screaming for joy]

- Free berries!

Sweet!

[buzzing]

- Do you feel vibrations
and hear... humming?

- Yeah. Almost feels like
this mountain is a...

[together]: Beehive!

- Yep. The reason it's called
Honey Mountain

is because it's actually
North America's largest known
open-air bee hive.

Home to an estimated eight
billion angry, angry bees.

- Oh, man! I am way behind. Ah!

Oh, oh crud... I'm stuck.
[grunts]

[rumbling]
Oh no.

This is going to be a big one.
[screaming]

- Whoa. Here comes Chase.

- Ah!
- Did a geyser just blow him

to the top of Honey Mountain
for the win?

[screaming]
[splashing]

No! Not even close!

[buzzing]
- Ah!

- Bees!
- Ah! Get away from me!

- Oh, wish I could help but,
you know, immunity awaits!

[screaming]

- And Bowie is the first camper
to reach the top.

- A clear path straight
to the bell.

Nicely done, Bowie.
- You!

- Ah! Something is very
not right with your face.

- It's time for some payback.

- Oh! You look like you can't
afford to pay anyone back.

[groaning]
[screaming]

- I hope this works.

If there's a shortcut to the top

by going through this hive,
immunity is mine!

Okay. Guess they don't
like intruders.

- Emma... help...
- Chase?

- Help. We're... a... team.

- If I free you,
the bees will get mad

and put us both in honey jail.

The best thing I can do
is try to win the challenge

for our alliance.
- Don't... leave... me.

- Shh. I'll be back
after I ring the bell. Sorry.

Aw, he looked so helpless.

I'll definitely go back for him.
Probably.

- I am done playing nice.
- Ah!

[grunts]
[groans]

I never play nice!

- Hey, Julia, catch!

I ring the bell,
you get a mask for your face!

It's a win-win.
- Ah! Over my dead body! Ah!

- Just when you thought
honey couldn't get any sweeter!

The question now
is can either of them get out

before someone else
reaches the top.

- Chris! My man.

Is this the top of the mountain?

- Well, unless the rest of it
is invisible.

- Awesome.
I win humidity!

- It's immunity. And first,
you need to ring the bell.

- I can do that.
- Zee!

Give me your hand!
- What? No, Zee! Help me!

Hurry!
- Help me!

- Help me!

- I didn't know
who to help first.

Then I remembered:
Yo Zee, you have two hands!

Gotta help my alliance!

[grunts]
Whoa!

- Now, where were we?
- Fighting.

- Oh right.

- Which camper will be the one
to ring that bell?

Bowie or Julia?

- After I ring this bell,
I'm sending you home.

[chuckling]
Oh, one more thing...

followers... are bots!

[gasps]
- Take. That. Back!

- I went too far.
- Oh-h*!

Bowie had it all wrapped up
before he awakened the beast.

[groans]
[screaming]

[bell ringing]

Julia wins immunity!

Everyone else is
up for elimina...

- That's right,
butt knuckles, I won!

Bow to the queen
of Honey Mountain!

[screaming]

[screaming continues]

[screaming]

Oh, that could've gone worse.

Oh, crud!

[screaming]

[roaring]

- Campers.
As much fun as today was,

tonight, you have a job to do.

Decide which of you
is being eliminated.

- Chase. You played baseball
with a fish

and sank your
girlfriend's canoe.

- I'm not his girlfriend!

- Well, the jury's
not out on that yet.

- I'm the jury!

- Bowie. You said 95% of Julia's
followers were bots.

And you said it in your
outside voice. Come on, man.

You didn't think you'd actually
get away with that, did you?

- I won and we are
an alliance of four.

Now we just need to pick who to
send home: Bowie, Emma or Chase.

Kidding. It's Bowie.

- I won't get to send Julia
home tonight,

but as an alliance of four,

we still control
who gets eliminated.

I'm thinking... Priya.

- You know the deal, if you get
a marshmallow, you're safe,

if you don't--
- You're wrong, Chris.

Tonight is different
because I came up with a plan
that cannot fail.

- Oh, I doubt that.
- What are "teams"?

Just groups of people that
compete against each other?

- Yes.
- No, man.

They're friends being forced
not to be friends.

And I said enough of that!

- Is there any way
to speed this up?

- I secretly joined
both alliances

into one big
seven-person alliance!

And we're voting you off.

Right, guys?

- Oh wow...
Zee is not brilliant.

- Zee is not a secret genius.

- Chris: Permission to re-vote?

- Um...

- Whoa, whoa, wait.

Hang on.
- I'll allow it.

- I might be in trouble here.

- And the last marshmallow
goes to...

- Come on, come on, come on.

- Bowie.

Zee, it's time to go.

- Don't cry, Chris.
- Wasn't going to.

- That's 'cause
you're very strong.

- Nope. It's 'cause I care
very little about people.

C'mon.

[Zee]: Not gonna lie,

I lasted longer
than I thought I would.

What a wild ride.

Got to fly through
an electrical storm,

drink disgusting cow liquid,

and even had a brief
relationship with a large bird.

Yep. I didn't win
the million bucks,

but uh, I wouldn't
change a thing.

How did I get in here?

Wasn't I just on the dock?

- They say nice guys
finish last, but sometimes,

they're the ninth person
to get carried off by a drone.

Who'll be lucky number 10?

Only one way to find out,

keep joining us here
on Total...

Drama...

Island!

[ ♪]