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02x03 - Swarmin' Norman

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Haunting Hour: The Series". Aired: October 29, 2010 – November 29, 2014.*
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Every episode features a different cast in a scary situation that would involve ghosts, aliens, witches, zombies, and monsters.

02x03 - Swarmin' Norman

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪]

[Eerie wind howls]

[♪♪]

Insects are all around us.

They are above us...

And, of course, beneath us.

If we were to dig down

A mere five inches,

We would find

More than 124 million insects

In one square-acre.

Now, perhaps the most impressive

Of all of these insects

Is the praying mantis.

Now, don't let its size

Fool you,

The mantis can capture

And consume

Small reptiles,

Mammals,

Even birds.

Watch...

As he patiently

st*lks his prey.

[♪♪]

- -[Thwap]
- -ow!

[Others snickering]

- -Quit it!
- -Eyes front.

- Or else I'm going to squash you,
- like I squash all bugs.

- Like you could ever
- squash all of them.

There're, like,

10 Quintillion insects.

- Quite correct,
- norman.

That's a 10,

- Followed by
- how many zeroes?

18 Zeroes.

You know, like what you got

On your last 18 tests.

[Others laughing]

[Teacher]: if it ever came down

To us versus the insects,

We surely wouldn't

Stand a chance.

[♪♪]

No, you don't

Stand a chance, bug.

[♪♪]

[School bell rings]

- -Cool.
- -Not so quickly, people!

As norman pointed out earlier,

There are so many bug species,

That, for the next week,

I would like you to go out

And collect as many as you can.

-[Others groaning]

-Yes!

- I find your enthusiasm
- refreshing, norman.

You could all use

A little of norman's passion.

[Grumbling and groaning

[Continues]

Class dismissed!

[Chairs scraping floor]

[Norman]: guys! No!

[Toilet flushing]

That's for always kissing up

To mr. Dunwood. Again!

[Norman cries out

[Over flushing]

- [Norman]:
- what was that one for?

- That's for being
- a general pest.

And the best thing to do

With pests...

Is flush 'em.

[Flushing]

Okay.

[Norman panting]

[Wheezing]

- Just because you guys
- are bigger than me

Doesn't mean

You get to push me around!

[Norman whimpers]

You get to push me around!

You get to push me around!

[Snickering]

[Door bangs shut]

Everybody pushes me around.

[♪♪]

So this is what it's like

To be bigger than someone.

[♪♪]

- I bet they think
- I'm, like, some sort of

God or superhero

Or something.

You don't have to worship me

Or anything.

But, remember...

I did let you

Keep your leaf.

[♪♪]

So that's...

Hello!

Look at you,

Out in the open.

It's like you wanted

To be found.

Wow.

Welcome to my world,

Mr. Mantis.

[♪♪]

Huh?

I say you go over here...

And what I say goes.

- I'm, like,
- your king or something.

[♪♪]

I bet you're hungry,

Aren't you?

You can have a grasshopper.

No!

Just one.

Because I said so.

[Scoffs]

[♪♪]

Sorry, grassy.

It's the law of the jungle.

The bigger guy

Always eats the smaller one.

It's just the way it is.

Trust me... I know.

[Mantis munching]

Whatcha got here?

Give it!

"Norman's journalis...

Insectus..."

Ah... Normy's bug book!

[Chuckles]

[Dorky voice]:

"Captured several ants today.

Fascinating."

[Normal voice]: seriously?

[Tyler chortles]

No way! Normy's drawn himself

A girlfriend.

[Kids laughing]

Sorry, ladies,

This one's taken.

[Snickers]

No!

[Norman groans]

[Laughs]

[Book hits floor]

Pathetic.

[♪♪]

[Norman sobs]

[♪♪]

How'd you...

Did I leave

The container open?

Guess so.

You were waiting for me?

There you go,

You can stretch out your legs.

All of them.

[♪♪]

Come on.

Sorry about your picture getting

Ruined.

Tyler's such a lame-o.

Thinks he's all tough

Just 'cause he's bigger than me.

I'm bigger than you,

And I would never

Pick on you.

Ever.

You're a pretty good listener,

Mr. Mantis.

Or may I call you "manny"?

A very good listener,

Manny.

[♪♪]

Whoa...

[♪♪]

Go to the branch.

[♪♪]

Now... Stop.

Okay. Now...

Manny, come to my hand,

And, the rest of you,

Return to your container!

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

I really am your master!

Sweet!

[Bell rings]

[♪♪]

[Teacher]: yes?

X minus 7.

Correct.

[Bell ringing]

- Hey! You know
- what time it is?

Yeah, it's, uh...

Wedgie-time!

No! Ahh!

[Norman shrieking]

[Tyler]: oh, man, you guys,

You should've seen norman.

Dude, the little wuss

Was all like, "oh! Oh!"

[Mocking norman's sobbing]

- Dude, it was
- awesome, man.

[Darkly]: he shouldn't have

Done that.

[♪♪]

There we go, buddy.

[♪♪]

[Wind gusting]

Come!

Come!

Come!

[Roars]: come!

[Insects trilling and clicking]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Tyler]: hey, man.

Do my science by thursday.

Thanks.

Let's get norman again.

You know,

Like, something after school.

[Bruce]: seeya.

Seeya, guys.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Main door closes]

[Quietly]: wait.

[♪♪]

Do it.

[Skittering]

- [Tyler cries out]:
- ahh! They're everywhere!

[Banging]

Help! Get them off!

Help me! Ahh! Ahh!

Help me!

Get them off! Help!

Awesome!

Make it stop! Please!

[Weeping]

Now who's getting squashed?

Aw, poor little baby.

We're done now.

[Skittering]

[♪♪]

I'm the one

In charge now.

Me. Got it?

[Snaps]: got it?

Uh-huh!

Now put your pants on.

And give yourself a wedgie.

Do it!

[♪♪]

[Gasps and groans]

[Winces and groans]

And if you ever think about

Pushing me around again,

Just remember...

I can crush you...

Like a bug.

[Stomp]

[♪♪]

[Cackling evilly]

[Continues cackling]

[Indistinct chatter]

[♪♪]

[History teacher]:

Well, it's interesting,

Because it's a classic example

Of a small military force

Being used strategically

To defeat a much larger,

More powerful force,

And, thus earning him

The name

"Stonewall jackson."

Then, in the spring of 1862,

The union major general

George b. Mcclellan's

Army of the potomac

Approached richmond

From the southeast,

Which is interesting,

Because, at the same time,

Major general irvin mcdowell's

Corporals

Were readying to hit richmond

From the north.

Now, class,

On the board are five questions

That I want you to write down

And answer them

By the end of the day.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Quiet skittering and clicking]

[♪♪]

[Thud]

[♪♪]

[Quiet skittering continues]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Go away.

I don't need you anymore.

[Manny hisses]

Remember, manny?

I'm your leader.

[Hisses viciously]

Go ahead! See if I care.

Yeah, that's right.

I'm still bigger than you,

And what I say goes!

[Moths beating on windowpane]

[Beating against windows]

[Glass cracking]

[Wings beating on glass]

[♪♪]

[Spraying repellant]

See?

That's what you get

For messing with the big guy!

You hear that, manny?

[♪♪]

Looking for another way in?

'Cause you're not

Gonna find one.

[Hisses viciously]

[Skittering and scurrying]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

You little bugs think

You're gonna push me around?

Yeah, well, think again!

[Realizing]: oh, no!

[♪♪]

Wah! Ah!

[Flushing]

[Panting]

[♪♪]

There.

Nothing gets in here

Without my say-so.

[Sighs wearily]

[Sighs]

No bug's gonna push me around.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Skittering and clicking]

Ahh... Ahh!

[Norman crying out]

[Gasping and crying out]

[Mr. Dunwood]:

Insects are all around us...

Above us...

Beneath us.

The bugs outnumber us

By a factor of trillions.

There's no way to stop them.

If it ever comes down

To us or them,

We surely don't stand a chance.

[Norman screaming]