03x01 - Fallen Arches - The Mane Event

[bunniefuu]

Sugar,

spice...

and everything nice.

These were the ingredients chosen
to create the perfect little girl.

But Professor Utonium
accidentally

added an extra
ingredient to the concoction--

Chemical X.

[expl*si*n]

Thus the Powerpuff Girls
were born!

Using their ultra-superpowers,

Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup
have dedicated their lives

to fighting crime
and the forces of evil!

The city of Townsville

was once again on the brink of
destruction today.

But thanks to the brave efforts of
those adorable Powerpuff Girls,

the day was saved.

Up next, buying salt can--

Stupid kids.

[SANDING SOUND]

No-good whippersnappers.

Little girls, even. Huh.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha--

[COUGHING]

[SWING MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, boys...

We're back in business.

Ha ha ha ha!

[BUZZING]

Yes, Mayor?
The bank? We're on it!

Not so--huh?!

Well, look who showed up.

How wonderful!

And who are you three
supposed to be?

You mean
you don't recognize

the most feared evildoers
Townsville's ever known?

Oh, forgive me.
Of course not.

It was before
your time, my child.

Let me introduce myself.

I am Mastermind!

And these are
my comrades

Counterpart...

Ahhhhhhh!

Ooh, my back!

And Cohort.

[SNORING]

And we are
the Ministry of Pain!

We have come out of retirement
to continue our reign of evil

and do many bad
and nasty things.

And heed my words, Townsville:
We will be victorious!

For, you see,
your pathetic little city

is protected by
pathetic little children!

Little girls, even.

So do not
get in our way!

In fact,
why don't you just run along

and play with
your little dollies?

Let me at him!
Let me at him!

No, girls.
We can't fight them.

Of course we can!

Yes, we can,
but we can't.

We have to respect
our elders.

Well, Townsville,
thank you for your riches.

And, Powerpuff Girls,

thank you for realizing you are no
match for the Ministry of Pain!

[COUGHING]

MAYOR:
"Powerpuff Girls wimp out??

"Powerpuffs? Cowerpuffs?

Why didn't the chickenpuffs
cross the rogues?"

Aw, girls,
don't let this get you down.

You're angels of justice,

and I know deep in my heart
that no villain can beat you

because you are
the Powerpuff Girls.

Thanks for the vote
of confidence, Mayor.

It's just...
We can't fight these guys.

Oh, nonsense.
You three can fly...Ohh!

Lift heavy objects...

Laser-beam people.

Pow! Pow! Pow!

So I don't see
the problem.

The problem is, though we may be
capable of beating them,

it's just that
they're elderly,

and we have to respect
our elders.

And that's why we can't fight
the Ministry of Pain.

The Ministry of Pain?!

Aaaaaahhhhhh!

We're doomed!
We're all doomed!

No wonder you 3 gave up
like little babies.

Little babies?!

We could have
taken them out in a snap.

Yeah. Funny joke
there, Buttercup.

You're doomed!
We're all doomed.

Really, Mayor.
These guys are easy pickings!

Blossom won't let us
fight because--

She's smart!

You 3 are no match
for the Ministry of Pain.

I'm telling you,
these guys are evil.

They almost took this
in 1942.

The world?!

No. My juice-bar globe.

And with them
out of retirement,

they'll surely try to
take it over again.

The juice-bar globe?

No. The world!

So what do you suggest
we do, Mayor?

MAYOR:
Hide and hope they will return

to defeat them
once more.

Who's "they"?

The only superhero team

to have ever bested
the Ministry of Pain.

Watch.

NEWSREEL ANNOUNCER:
Cogswell News presents... Time Pieces.

We watch the world.



And though our enemies
are an ocean away,

the presence of evil exists
upon our own shores.

Take one city of
Townsville, U.S.A.,

which is under constant siege

by the Ministry of Pain.

Mastermind, Counterpart,
and Cohort

serve up a constant
feast of villainy.

Who will stop
these nasty no-gooders?

Why, Captain Righteous
and Lefty, that's who.

That's it, boys.
Give 'em what for!

h* h*!

Looks like
the Ministry of Pain

won't be getting a taste of
freedom for a long, long time.

Thank you, Captain Righteous;
thank you, Lefty,

for putting the "I can"
back in "American."

So, you see, girls--
uh, girls?

Must have went
home to hide.

Good idea.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, for cryin' out loud.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Yeah?

And what do
you three pumpkin heads want?

Captain Righteous?

So you say you're writing the
book about my funtastic life?

No. We're here for something
much more important.

Oh.
Here you go, kids.

It says...

We didn't come here for your stupid,
forgotten signature!

We're here 'cause Blossom
won't let us fight,

so we need you to stop
the Ministry of Pain.

The Ministry of Pain
has returned?

City of Townsville,

you will once again be able to
safely purchase

your Frank Sinatra
long-playing discs,

for I, Captain Righteous,

will once again
single-handedly defeat

the Ministry of Pain!

What about Lefty?

[KETTLE WHISTLING]

Get out!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Coming! Coming!

Hello.

Lefty?

Well, look at you three precious
little pumpkins.

Would you girls
like to hear a song?

♪ Jerry Giraffe
and the zookeeper ♪

♪ Having lots of fun
at the zoo ♪

BLOSSOM:
Um, I don't mean to interrupt,

but we need your help.

My help? How?

I hate to be
the bearer of bad news,

but the Ministry of Pain
has returned,

and the city of Townsville
needs you and Captain Righteous

to be victorious once again.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes!

I would love nothing more

than to fight evil alongside
Captain Righteous.

But alas,
Captain Righteous hates me.

He won't even say hello to me
in the medicine line.

On the contrary, Lefty.

We just spoke to
the Captain,

and his reaction to your name
was nothing but positive.

Oh, really?

Really!

You're not pulling my
prosthetic leg, are you?

No, sir. Lefty said he would never
fight again with you, either.

Then consider the...

Ministry of Pain...

History.

I hope you know
what you're doing.

Don't worry.
My plans always work.

Alone at last!

Together at last!

Watch out, Ministry of Pain!

Because here we come
at the speed of light!

[RINGING]

Counterpart,
Cohort, hurry up!

Thank you.

Wait. What's that
in the sky?

It's a feather.

I think it's
a plastic bag.

No. It's just
a flying has-been.

Not so fast,
Ministry of Pain.

I said,
not so fast!

MASTERMIND:
Keep running, boys!

He'll never catch us
at this rate!

Halt!

When Captain Righteous
says "not so fast,"

you should either slow down or,
preferably, stop.

What in Sam Hill
are you doing here?

I'm your right-hand man
Lefty, right?

Oh, no, you don't.

You're here for all the glory
and none of the work.

Now, don't start that
again, you old windbag.

I work alone, Lefty.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

All right, all right,
you're both fine!

Just get out
of our way!

My hip!

Lefty! Noooooooooo!

Noooooooooo!

C-captain...

are you all right, Lefty?

Now that we're together.

But I can't fight.

Well, I can't fight
without you.

You'll have to.
Aaaahhhh!

Noooooooooo!

[SIRENS]

This was the scene
earlier today,

when five senior citizens
were rushed into intensive care.

Doctors report that they are not
in critical condition,

but they wonder how five elderly
men could get into such a situation.

And it is this reporter's opinion
that perhaps none

of this would have happened

if the Powerpuff Girls
would have just saved the day.

NARRATOR: The city of Townsville,
where at this very moment,

our girls are tangled in another
hair-raising situation.

Oh, Blossom,

your hair is
so beautiful.

Yeah. All you need
are a couple of barrettes...

and some of this
for hold.

[COUGHING]

And there
you have it--

a racetrack
with hairpin turns.

That's stupid.

Oh, but Fluffy
the hair bunny is cool?

Yes. Blossom loves Fluffy.
Don't you, Blossom?

Cut it out!

And give me a real hairdo!

Sure, sure.
Just got to comb out a few tangles.

And get rid of
a couple of knots.

Oh!
Oh!

What's going on
back there?

Uh, nothing.

Uh, just got to trim
a few split ends. Ha ha!

[HOTLINE BUZZING]

BLOSSOM:
I got it!

Yes, Mayor?
Whoa! No way!

Right. We're on it.

Girls, trouble. Move out!

[BUBBLES AND BUTTERCUP SNICKERING]

What?!

Whatever.

Sometimes you guys
are so weird.

Come on!

[BOTH SNICKERING]

NARRATOR: Go, girl, go!

[LAUGHING]

[BUBBLES AND BUTTERCUP GIGGLING]

[RUMBLING]

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

MAN: Roger, Bravo Delta.
This is Sitting Duck.

I have bogey
clean in my sights,

and I'm gonna sh**t b*ll*ts
at it now.

SECOND MAN:
Did you get him?

I can't believe it!

I think
this is the end!

Ay, ay, ay!

I'm gonna teach you a lesson,
Mr. Evil Eye.

So, you think
you can just roll into town

and start vaporizing
everything in sight?!

Well, look here, buddy.
You can't!

This is a happy
and peaceful place,

and folks here don't take kindly
to this type of behavior.

Now, I'm going to
give you a chance

to stop this senseless
destruction

once and for all.

So, champ,
what's it gonna be?

[EVIL EYE LAUGHING]

What?!

What?

What's so funny?

You!
You!

Me?

But what's so funny about--

Aaaahhhhhhh!

Blossom, wait!

It's not that bad!

[EVIL EYE STOPS LAUGHING]

BUTTERCUP: Bubbles,
this isn't working.

We need to--

BUBBLES:
Try a sneak attack?

Bingo!

This has been the
scene all afternoon.

It seems the monster's ability
to see everything at all times

has virtually eliminated any chance of
attack by the Powerpuff Girls.

At this time,
all we can do

is wait for our tragic,
inevitable doom.

BLOSSOM: Oh!

TV ANCHOR:
But as we do,

let's remember the things
that brought us joy,

like Blossom's haircut.

What's the matter, Blossom?

Did you get in a fight with a pair of
scissors and lose? Ha ha ha ha!

Boy, did she look stupid.

Blossom?

Go away!

What's the matter, honey?

Why are you sitting here
alone in the dark?

Are you ok?

I'm fine.

You don't sound fine to me.

Now, come out from under there
and show me a smile.

No!

Aw, come on, Blossom.
I bet it can't be that bad.

Whoa!

I mean, uh...
Oh, you've cut your hair.

No. Bubbles and Buttercup
butchered it.

And they and Townsville and even the
monster all laughed at me.

I'm never going
outside again.

But, Blossom,
your sisters need your help.

But everyone
will laugh at me.

And that's a bad thing?

Blossom, you need to turn this
hairdon't into a hairdo.

Understand?

Yes!

Thank you!

[SNICKERING]

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh! Oh h*!

Oh!

[BUTTERCUP PANTING]

It's no use.
We can't hide!

Oh, no. Look!

NARRATOR: Oh, Myopia!

It looks like this is it
for our girls.

I can't bear to watch!

BLOSSOM: Hey, 400-eyes!

[EVIL EYE SNARLING]

What do you think--
toupee or not toupee?

[EVIL EYE CHUCKLING]

All these dreaded locks--
I can't do anything with them!

[LAUGHING]

So I went to the doctor
to get some medicine.

He said, "What's the problem?"

And I said, "Doc, I have
this terrible coif."

[EVIL EYE LAUGHING]

[BUTTERCUP LAUGHING]

[WHISPERING]
Buttercup, look.

[EVIL EYE LAUGHING]

[CROWD LAUGHING]

Ok, ok, I know.
My hair looks stupid.

No, Blossom.

We're laughing
'cause we're happy.

Ha ha! Yeah!

We thought
we were goners!

But we're all really sorry
we laughed at you.

Yeah.

Really?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

But still,
I do look really stupid.

I'll say!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Stupid.

Ha ha ha ha!
So, we're even?

BLOSSOM: Yeah, we're even.

NARRATOR: Who says
justice is blind?

So once again,
the day is shaved

thanks to
the Powerpuff Girls!

♪ Blossom,
commander and the leader ♪

♪ Bubbles,
she is the joy and the laughter ♪

♪ Buttercup,
she's the toughest fighter ♪

♪ Powerpuffs
save the day ♪

♪ Fighting
crime ♪

♪ Trying to ♪

♪ Save the world ♪

♪ Here they come,
just in time ♪

♪ The Powerpuff Girls ♪

♪ Fighting crime,
trying to save the world ♪

♪ Here they come,
just in time ♪

♪ The Powerpuff Girls ♪

Powerpuff!