03x05 - Rupert and Ottoline

[bunniefuu]

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Yahoo!

Whee!

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Oh. What's this?

Someone's lost some money.

Hey!

Strange. There isn't any wind.

I know who's behind this.

Bill Badger. Whoa!

Gregory?

(Whimpering) Wait, Gregory.

Slow down. (Panting)

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to frighten you.

You-- You mean you're not angry with me

for playing a joke on you?

Of course not, Gregory.

It was very funny.

Yes. It was, wasn't it?

(Chuckling)

I'm just a little surprised.

You don't usually make jokes or play tricks.

It's the new me, Rupert.

(Rupert reading)

"By A. Fool."

I found it in Mr. Lubbert's second-hand shop.

It shows you how to do hundreds of practical jokes.

And there's all kinds of jokes and riddles, see?

"How do you catch a squirrel?"

I don't know, Gregory. How do you catch a squirrel?

"Climb a tree and act like a nut."

(Both laughing)

You see? I'm not meek and timid Gregory Guinea Pig anymore.

I've decided to become funny.

The fellow that wrote it has a joke shop in Appleton.

The address is on the back.

"Fool's Toolseverything for the complete fool.

ProprietorA. Fool.

Number Laughing Lane, Appleton."

It sounds like fun, Gregory.

Why don't we go there?

That'd be super.

I could buy a hand buzzer.

In his book, Mr. Fool says no fool is complete without one.

(Both laughing)

(Bell tolling distantly)

GREGORYAppleton isn't a very funny-looking town, is it?

Excuse me, we're looking for the joke shop.

Did you hear that?

How dare he!

Who are those two?

What are they doing here?

We'll see about this. Oh, yes, we will.

Not very friendly, either.

VOICEPsst.

What did you say, Rupert?

I didn't say... VOICEPsst.

GREGORYThat's what I thought

you didn't say. Hello.

Hello. Hi.

I'm Finster.

I'm Rupert. This is Gregory.

Did I hear you say you're looking for the joke shop?

Yes. We're looking for A. Fool--

Shh!

Not so loud, Gregory.

Someone might hear us.

Is that a--? A joke book?

Yes--! Um, yes.

It has all sorts of practical jokes, funny tricks.

Does it have any riddles?

Of course. Here's a good one:

"What is it that's everywhere around us,

but nowhere to be seen?"

I don't know.

"Fresh air."

(Both laughing)

Huh?

Fresh air is all around us,

but we can't see it.

Oh, I get it.

That's funny.

(Reserved giggling) There's lots more.

"Where does a , lb. gorilla sleep?"

I don't know. Where?

"Anywhere he wants."

(Both laughing)

(Quiet chuckling)

(All cackling)

WOMANFinster!

Uh-oh.

Just what do you think you are doing?

Nothing, Granny. Nothing.

I was just coughing.

(Coughing)

(Coughing and laughing)

Let me see that book.

It's just a joke book, ma'am.


A what?

Police! Call the police!

But it's just a few harmless little practical jokes.

And funny riddles.

Like, um, "Why...?"

Why is that crowd of angry villagers yelling at us?

That's not how it goes.

(Gasping)

MANThere they are!

WOMANThat's them!

(Indistinct yelling) Rupert, Gregory. Run!

(Screaming)

MANStop them! WOMANThey're getting away!

Why is everyone so angry with us?

I wish I knew. Look!

"Fool's Tools."

This is the joke shop.

It is?

Do you think this is a joke?

I have a very unfunny feeling it isn't.

MANThere they are!

WOMANAt the old joke store!

(Screaming)

This way! Oof!

(Rupert gasping)

In a spot of trouble, are we?

MANConstable Curley, arrest them!

They've been laughing and telling jokes.

We don't want their kind around here.

All right, boyos.

You're coming with me.

But-- But Constable Curley, what did we do?

Town of Appleton bylaw -

clearly prohibits jokes, puns, riddles,

amusing anecdotes or tall tales;

playing pranks, tricks or practical jokes;

or performing sleight-of-hand magic tricks

in which silly objects are pulled from people's ears.

You mean it's against the law to have a sense of humour?

I'll let you off with a warning this time.

Well, thank you, Constable, uh...

Curley. Curley O'Hara.

Curley O'Hara?

(Snickering)

Get on your way.

If I catch you around here violating the humour laws again,

I'll toss you in jail and throw away the key.

RUPERTIt's no wonder

Finster reacted like that when he saw the joke book.

The poor kids in Appleton must be completely laugh-starved.

They should call that town Sour Appleton.

Ha-ha! Good one, Gregory.

It was, wasn't it?

That's funny.

And I made it up myself.

I mean the sign.

Come on.

(Laughing)

Back where we started.

(Laughing)

This is silly.

What's this?

"When first I appear, I seem mysterious,

but when I'm explained I'm nothing serious."

(Laughing)

It's a riddle.

Of course it's a riddle.

But what's the answer?

A riddle.

"A riddle" is the answer to the riddle.

"When first I appear I seem mysterious,

but when I'm explained I'm nothing serious."

A riddle.

Oh, I get it.

Here's another one.

"Bounce me and I'll go somewhere.

Throw me and I'll sail through air.

Hit me and I'll fly astray.

Kick me and I'll roll away."

I know. It's a ball.

(Giggling)

(Laughing)

Come on.

(Both laughing)

Get it! There it goes!

BOTHYeah!

(Both laughing)

"Give me water, don't forget.

I only work when I am wet."

Whoa!

A sponge.

Two sponges.

(Cackling)

Listen. It's coming from over there.

Gregory, we're in a maze.

Yes, and as far as mazes go,

this one is...amazing.

(Laughing)

(Chuckling)

(Cackling)


GREGORYIt wasn't that funny.

Look.

There's no door,

but there is a bell.

Hey! Ah!

(Both laughing)

(Cackling)

I think we're being invited in.

I don't know about this, Rupert.

BOTHWhoa!

(Screaming)

Ha! Relax, Gregory.

It's just us.

Hello? Is anybody home?

What a funny house.

Even the stairs are funny.

RUPERTA library.

All the books are about jokes and riddles and tricks.

That would make it a laugh-brary.

(Chuckling)

Get it, Rupert?

Not a library,

a laugh-- Whoa!

Gregory? (Cackling)

Gregory, where are you?

Gregory?

(Screaming)

Whoa!

Whoa!

Oof! (Cackling)

Hello, Rupert.

Welcome to my tumble abode.

(Laughing)

A pleasure to meet you, Mister...?

The name's Fool.

April Fool.

So you're A. Fool.

But I thought April Fool was a day, not a person.

Well, who do you think they named the day after?

I come from a long line of Fools.

(Laughing)

And I take my work very seriously.

You mean you're a-- A full-time fool?

No rest for the foolish, Gregory.

(Chuckling)

What with writing joke books,

bad puns for fortune cookies,

and riddles for Christmas crackers,

I barely have any time left over

for inventing new practical jokes and silly magic tricks.

(Both laughing)

"What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?"

BOTHTime to get a new fence.

(All laughing)

It's certainly a relief to meet you

after being in a dreary place like Appleton.

Ooh, just the mention of that humourless town

sends spivers up my shine.

Brr.

Was Appleton always such a sour place?

No, Rupert.

Once, it was a happy place because...

Well, because I lived there.

(Laughing)

(Both laughing)

But all of a sudden the authorities in Appleton

outlawed humour of any kind.

They closed down my joke shop and ran me out of town.

They-- They even said I...wasn't funny.

Don't worry about those people in town, Mr. Fool.

I call it Sour Appleton.

(Laughing)

Sour Appleton.

Oh, that's a good one.

(Cackling)

It's so good to have such refined company.

You really must stay to lunch.

(Both screaming)

Lunch is served.

(Cackling)

(Both screaming)

(Laughing)

Hey, look out! Ah!

I propose...

a toast.

(Laughing)

(Both screaming)

(Laughing)

Heads up.

Ugh! It's rubber.

(Fool cackling)

Milk?

Hey! Watch it!

(Snickering)

And now for dessert.

Oh, no.

Well, lunch is all over.

All over you, all over me, all over the kitchen.

(Laughing)

Did you get enough?


Yes. I think I've had enough.

Me too.

We'd better be going now.

Oh, that's too bad.

We were just starting to have fun.

Now, you go right, left, right, left, left,

right, right, left, left,

right, left, left, right, left.

And another left. Got that?

I think so.

Well, goodbye.

Um, thanks for lunch.

Goodbye.

Come back soon.

GREGORYWhew. I like a joke,

but that fool just doesn't know when to stop.

Now we know why they outlawed humour in Appleton.

He's very funny,

but I don't think I'd ever want to be that funny.

After a while, it just isn't funny.

One more left and...

Uh-oh.

(Laughing)

Oh, did I say right, left, right, left, right,

right, left, left, left, right, left?

I meant to say left, right, left, left, left,

right, right, right, left, right, left, left,

right, left, and another right. Come on.

GREGORYHe's not very good

with directions, is he?

Maybe he doesn't want us to leave.

GREGORYWhat do you mean?

Yikes! Ah!

This is what I mean.

We're trapped!

I'm so happy that you've decided to stay.

Um, why don't we play a game?

No!

I'm always game for a game. Name the game.

How about hide and seek?

My favourite.

But we'll make it a challenge match.

If Gregory and I find you,

you have to promise to show us the way out of the maze.

All right, but you'll never find me.

We'll have days and days of fun.

Don't forget to count to .

(Cackling)

I give up.

We'll never find him.

(Screaming)

Oof! (Fool laughing)

Very funny.

Hm.

Gregory?

What time is it when the kettle boils?

Please. No more riddles.

It's teatime.

(Fool cackling)

This way.

(Clearing throat)

What is black and white, black and white,

black and white, black and white?

(Fool laughing) I don't know.

FOOLA penguin rolling down a hill.

(Cackling)

Knock knock. FOOLWho's there?

Wegot.

FOOLWegot?

Wegot who?

We got you.

(Screaming)

You tricked me. We won!

You have to show us the way out of the maze.

Oh, all right.

But you'll have to catch me first.

(Laughing) GREGORYOh, no.

We'll be running around this maze forever.

Whoa! Look out! Yeah! Yikes!

(Springs creaking)

FOOLPogo or not pogo?

That is the question.

(Snickering)

Over there.

Yoo-hoo!

(Cackling)

There he is.

Watch out.

High time you got here.

(Giggling)

Walk this way.

(Screaming)

Yeow!

(Screaming)

(Groaning)

Are you all right?

Hey. That wasn't funny.

That's because it's a lot more fun playing a joke on someone

than being the someone the joke is played on.

Hm, they never taught us that in Fool School.


I thought we were all having fun.

I'm sorry.

Well, now maybe you can understand

how the people of Appleton feel.

Of course.

At first they thought I was funny,

but I just couldn't stop.

Oh, we noticed that.

I played joke after joke, trick after trick,

until the villagers couldn't take it anymore.

They outlawed humour because of me!

I've been such a fool!

But no more.

I'm going to give up foolishness for good.

Don't do that.

What about the Christmas crackers and--

And bad puns and joke books?

No, Gregory.

I'm a foolish failure.

I'll never tell any more jokes, puns, riddles,

amusing anecdotes or tall tales;

play any pranks, tricks or practical jokes;

or perform any sleight-of-hand magic tricks

in which silly objects are pulled from people's ears.

Making people laugh is a talent.

It's a gift.

You just have to learn a little moderation.

GREGORYLook, Rupert.

We're out!

FOOLGo ahead.

I don't blame you for wanting to leave.

RUPERTWe're not leaving.

Not without you.

RUPERTPsst. Finster.

Rupert.

That's a funny place to be standing.

(Chuckling)

Finster, I want you to gather all your friends

and meet me here.

(Children laughing)

It's coming from over here, constable.

We'll just see about this.

(All laughing and applauding)

FOOLI say, I say, I say.

What type of flower is that, Gregory?

Why, it's a water lily.

Ah!

(Children laughing)

Yeow!

I knew it.

Arrest that fool.

But Constable Curley.

Look at the children.

(All laughing and applauding)

You see?

They're laughing.

They're having fun.

Yes.

He's turning them all into fools!

No. He'll be stopping soon. The show's almost over.

Ha! He never knows when to stop.

He does now. He's learned his lesson.

I'll put a stop to this foolishness.

(Blowing whistle)

(Screaming) Yikes!

(All laughing and applauding)

Whoa. Whoa.

Yeow!

All right, boyo, you're coming with me.

(Children laughing)

(All applauding)

I was afraid you'd all forgotten how to laugh.

Oh, my.

I feel like a girl again.

(Laughing)

And that Constable Curley is a corker.

(Laughing)

Well, I'll be.

I'm a star.

(Screaming)

(Spectators laughing)

Whoa!

(All laughing and applauding)

That's all for today's show.

Let's have a big hand for the April Fool.

And Constable Curley.

(All cheering)

The show's over?

Already?

Aw, I was just getting warmed up.

There'll be another show tomorrow at the same time.

Move along now. Show's over.

We can all come back tomorrow.

You two certainly taught this old fool some new tricks.

How can I ever repay you?

Oh, that's not necessary.

We're happy to have helped.

In fact, I'd like to repay you.

But what have I--?

(Mumbling)


(Laughing)

Gregory, you have the makings of a real fool.

Gosh.

Thanks.

Was that overdoing it, Rupert?

No, Gregory.

I think it was just desserts.

(All laughing)

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