01x46 - #ItsComplicated

[bunniefuu]

[theme song playing]
♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side ♪

♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow! ♪

[smooching]

[exclaims nervously]

[continues exclaiming]

- Hey, Hal.
- [yells]

Happy Valentine's Day?

Happy? There's nothing
happy about it.

I've almost made it
through the day, Jess,

but make no mistake,

she's out there,
biding her time,

toying with me
for her own sick amusement.

Let me guess...
Carol?

Shh! Don't say her name.
You'll summon her!

Valentine's Day
is the one day

when she-who-cannot-be-named
is at her most bonkers.

Gee, I wonder
why that could be.

Hey, it is not my fault I broke
up with her on Valentine's Day.

You broke up with her
on Valentine's Day?

Yeah. Who cares?

[exclaims]

Happy Valentine's Day,
Hal Jordan!

Wait, what?

[gasps]

Aww!
Carol's got a new boyfriend!

Isn't that nice, Hal?

- Now, you don't have to worry about...
- Hmph!

[Hal clears throat]

So, uh, what's this?

This, Hal Jordan,
is my new boyfriend.

Thaal Sinclair.
Pleased to meet you.

Pfft! Yeah, well, you
can get rid of him now.

I've decided
to take you back!

[all gasping]

[groans]

[laughs loudly]

And why would I take you back

when Thaal Sinclair is perfect!

Unlike some boys I won't name,

he reads books,
he brushes his teeth.

He even washes his socks.

I do that stuff, too...
sometimes.

- And best of all, he is so romantic!
- [gasps] Carol,

I never noticed the delicate amethyst
ribbons in your eyes before.

It takes my breath away.

Sorry, Hal Jordan,
but from now on,

I'm spoken for.

[Hal gasps]

Carol?

[grumbles]

[birds cooing]

[Hal] I don't know what to do.

It's almost like this guy

- knows more about romance than me.
- Forget it, Hal.

I don't want anything
to do with you and Carol

and your stupid drama, all right?

You're right.

I should change who I am
to win her back.

Oh! You're a real pal, Jess.

- Thanks!
- [groans]

[slurping]

- [playing discordant notes]
- [singing inaudibly]

- You gotta help me, Jessica Cruz!
- [gasps]

Everywhere I go,
there he is!

[whispering]
Hal Jordan!

He is obsessed with me!

You want me...
to help you...

avoid Hal.

[sighs] Fine!
I'll talk to him.

[squeals]

You're a real pal, Jessica Cruz!

[Carol coos]

[Jessica groans]

So, Hal,

there's something
I need to talk to you about.

You're right, Jess.

If I want Carol back, I gotta
lay it all on the line.

Be a man!

[inhaling deeply]

Please!
Please, Carol!

Just take me back, please!

You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

You're like the burger part
of my hamburger.

I'm so sorry, Carol.

I tried to talk to him, but...

I've had just about enough
of this, Hal Jordan.

- So...
- [Hal whimpering]

- Of course I'll take you back!
- Whazzat?

I could never stay away
from you, Hal Jordan.

And now we can
finally be together

like we were always
meant to be!

Um...

You fell right into my trap of love.

I knew that if I got a new boyfriend,

you'd go mad with jealousy.

And then, you'd finally
transform yourself

into the romantic,
reasonably-hygienic man

I always knew you could be

[menacingly]
and come crawling back!

And, now,
you're mine, Hal Jordan!

Forever!

I'm sorry, Thaal Sinclair.
But... I never loved you.

That's okay, Carol, because I

never loved you, either.

Wait, what?

It was never about
me and you, Carol.

It was about me and...

Hal!

Wait, what?

- Oh, no. No, no, no.
- Oh, yes, Hal.

It's me.

Not Thaal Sinclair,
but Thaal Sinestro!

Surprised, Hal?

Last you saw me,
I donned the color green,

back when you and I
were best buds!

The most unstoppable team
in the Green Lantern Corps!

But that was before
you ghosted me!

Dropped off
the face of the universe!

Never called me back!

[both grunt]

You broke up
the most beautiful bromance

the universe has ever seen!

Now, I shall finally have
my revenge!

[laughs maniacally]

[people screaming]

How dare you attack my Hal Jordan?

What? [grunts]

And how dare you use me
to get to him?

You used me to get to him first!
[grunts]

We gotta get
around his defenses.

Ooh! Do that hockey thingy
you won't ever shut up about.

[grunts]

[grunts, yells]

- We did it!
- Yay!

See? We were meant
to be together, Hal Jordan.

- It's destiny!
- Uh, yeah, about that.

Look, I don't think
this is gonna work out.

- It's not me, it's you.
- Did you just break up with me?

Again?!
On Valentine's Day?!

Again?

- [Star Sapphire screams]
- [grunts]

[whimpers]

You're the most thoughtless
person who ever lived!

Do you even think about
other people's feelings?

[gasps]

Now for the final blow.

Do it, Thaal!
He deserves it.

I'm going to hit you
where it hurts the most,

by stealing your actual girlfriend!

[yelling] I am not his girlfriend!

[exclaims, grunts]

What?
Girls love flowers!

[Star Sapphire] I knew it!

You are Hal Jordan's girlfriend.

How dare you steal my real
boyfriend and my fake boyfriend.

[straining]

This is officially the dumbest thing

you've dragged me into.

[roaring]

[gagging]

I stand corrected.

[Dex-Starr] Surprised to
see me, Jessica Cruz?

I knew you'd slip up one day

and leave that chair
too close to the counter.

Now that I have
my Power Ring of Rage,

vengeance will be mine!

- [roars]
- [both gasp]

[both grunt]

This is all your fault, Hal.

My fault? How is any
of this my fault?

You need to apologize
and hope they forgive you.

It's the only way to end this!

You're right, Jess.
I've got to take responsibility for this.

Pretend this is white, you guys!

I've got something to say.

I'm...
sorry.

[all gasp]

You have every right
to be mad at me.

This is all my fault
for being so...

awesome.

[groans]

Carol, if I wasn't such a cool guy,

you never would have fallen for me.

I didn't mean to be so
charming and irresistible.

And, Sinestro, buddy,

I owe you an apology, too.

If I wasn't so super cool
and fun to hang out with,

then you wouldn't have taken
it so hard when I ditched you.

It's all so clear to me, now.

And, Dex, I don't know.
Sorry you're such a terrible cat, I guess?

For someone so skilled
at missing the point,

it's pretty incredible how badly
you missed my point, Hal.

[chuckles] I know.

[all growling]

[breathing heavily]

Hal Jordan!

[growling]

[growling]

[gasps]

[all grunt]

Ugh!

Oh! Just when I thought
you couldn't get any better,

you show a whole new side
to yourself.

A vulnerable, sensitive side.

Oh, I'm deep, baby.

Only a true bro would humble
himself like this, Hal Jordan.

[purring] I love ya,
Hal Jordan.

You always taste
like steak sauce.

Come on, let me buy
you an ice cream.

Hang on, hang on.

Have you seriously not learned
anything from this, Hal?

Oh, oh, I learned plenty, Jess.

Maybe even
the greatest lesson of all.

I've learned that
I don't need to change myself

to make people love me.

Being myself is enough.

Hal, you did not...

[grunts, sighs]

Okay! That's actually
a really good lesson,

but you're just such a jerk!

Hey! That's my boy
you're talking about there!

Yeah! No one calls
Hal Jordan a jerk but me!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
It's okay, guys, it's okay.

She'll get there.

Someday.

[groans]