01x45 - #HousePest

[bunniefuu]

[theme song playing]
♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side ♪

♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow! ♪

[Kara yawns]
Studying is hard, you guys.

[alarm ringing]

Hey! Diana's bag.

[Jessica] Oh, no problem.
We'll drop it off to her.

Wait a minute.

Where are we going?

[all] Huh?

[brakes screech]

So, you're telling me that we've
known Diana for months now

and absolutely, positively, none
of us know where she lives?

[mutters] I don't know.

Well, I don't know
where she lives,

but I do know she's
in Centennial Park right now.

How do you know that?

The tracker
on her phone! Duh.

You all have one.

Babs, can you just once
not be creepy?

[Barbara] Weird.
It says she's right here.

[Diana] Sisters!

I did not expect to see you
until tomorrow.

Dude, have you been living
in a tree this whole time?

Of course.

When Amazons take up a quest
far from home as I have,

they sleep where
the day lands them.

Diana Prince, you simply
cannot live like this.

Yeah, come on.

We can't let you
stay out here.

Well, then where
would you have me live?

Welcome to your new home.

[Diana] This is most
unexpected, kind Jessica.

We adopt all kinds
of animals in need.

Why shouldn't we adopt
a stray friend in need?

Here's the living room.

Wonderful!
And where is the dying room?

And here's the bathroom.

Hmm. At school there are
porcelain thrones for all.

Oh, yeah. Well,
in most people's bathrooms,

there's usually just one.

I shall not fight you
for your throne, Jessica.

I submit.

Or you could use this one

and I'll use
the one downstairs.

I have to run to the airport
to get my parents.

But just do what you do
at your own home.

Run a bath,
make a snack, relax.

[Jessica] Don't worry,

Diana is incredibly
conscien... tious.

[sizzles]

Parents of Jessica,

I am preparing
the evening feast.

Your neighborhood
is rich with game.

[crumbling]

[screams]

I have also run a bath,
as you suggested.

[laughs nervously]

Then two dabs of overnight
rejuvenating sunflower extract

and rice serum and...

Voila! That is the patented
Zee Zatara bedtime ritual.

Fascinating.

This is the most
important part.

The secret ingredient
that makes it all work.

Beauty sleep.

Many thanks
for your kindness, Zee.

May Posidia guide you
on your dream journey.

[Zatanna snoring]

[Diana chanting]

Posidia! Posidia!

[Zatanna rouses]

[gasps] Diana?

Ah! You have awoken.

Now, I may share
my bedtime ritual.

[vocalizing]

[Diana breathing heavily]

Posidia! Posidia!

[Zatanna snoring]

[Diana] Zee! Zee!
Are you awake?

I am thirsty.
Can I have some water?

[metallic scraping]

[grumbles]

This carpeting is
much too comfortable.

What is a concierge?

Do you hear that?
Was that the Chimera?

Diana! I have been
incredibly tolerant

of your bedtime rituals,
your vandalizing of my bedroom,

and your multiple requests
for room service,

but the time has come
for you to go to sleep!

[breathing heavily]

[sighs]

[alarm ringing]

[shrieks]

[hissing]

Huh?

[yawns]

- [bird chirping]
- Oh! [laughs]

[growls]

[shattering]

[Karen] Don't worry, Diana,

everybody loves staying
at my house.

We've got every
modern convenience.

[gasps]

[devices whirring]

Watch this.
Athena, television on.

[Athena] Initiating
entertainment protocol.

[whale sings]

Athena, blinds closed.

Initiating light control
protocol.

You try.

Just ask Athena
for anything you want.

Athena, O Goddess of Wisdom,

rain courage down
upon my soul

so that I may withstand
Karen's modern conveniences.

Initiating lawn irrigation
protocol.

Uh-oh.

Here. You find
something good to watch.

I'll be right back.

Uh...

[whale sings]

Uh...

She just needs time.

- [exclaims]
- [TV continues indistinctly]

[dance music plays]

Help me, Athena!

I am under attack!

Initiating security protocol.

Whoa!

Diana! Diana!

You're going down! Cease!

The console on the wall!
Press the buttons.

Wait.

- [grunting]
- [beeping]

Deactivating security protocol.

[gasps]

[Diana sighs] I did not fare
well with the other families.

What if yours
does not like me either?

Diana, the Danverses never have
anything bad to say about anyone.

And I mean anyone.

It is such a treat to have
someone from another culture

join us for dinner, Diana.

I am humbled
by your kindness.

[grunts]

[Diana slurps] Mmm.

Oh, I love it.

So freeing.

What other mealtime rituals
do you practice back home?

Mmm!

Well, after the strongest
warrior opens the feast

by taking the first bite...

[fake sneezes]
Second strongest.

...it is time for the nightly
proclamation of deficiencies.

Oh, how fascinating!

What is that?

It is when my mother pronounces

my failings and shortcomings
for all to hear.

So that I may improve.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Eliza, your decorative
plate collection

is worthy of severe ridicule.

This is a hobby for children,
not grown women.

Jeremiah, you have the reflexes
of an ancient crone.

[grunts]

You will never be able
to defend a tribe.

See? Like that.

[laughing]

[Jeremiah] Oh, so true.

Nothing bad to say about any...

My turn!

Kara, you're not very good
at remembering

- your pleases and thank yous.
- Huh?

Your bedroom smells
like rodents.

- Huh?
- Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Your hostile attitude is just a
front to mask your deep insecurity.

Your rebellious nature is a sad
desperate cry for attention.

[laughing]

[growls]

[Barbara] Welcome
to the Gordon family, Diana.

I've always wanted a sister.

I accept your welcome.

For I, sculpted from clay
by my mother's hand,

have always wanted a father.

Yes! And my dad
is the best dad ever!

Everything's perfect.

Night, girls.
See you tomorrow.

[both] Good night, Dad!

[objects clattering]

[gasps] Diana?

Diana!

- [crashes]
- [gasps] Diana!

[grunting]

[Gordon] Okay, let's see here.

[muttering]

[Diana grunts]

- Diana, what are you...
- [Diana grunting]

[humming]

- [Diana grunting]
- [Barbara] No, no, no.

- [yells]
- No!

Sorry it didn't work out.

Sorry I tried
to vanquish your dad.

[whimpers]

[sighs] My friends were right.

A tree is no proper home.
Even for an Amazon.

Now that I'm reminded of the
love and warmth of a real home,

I long for one more than ever.

Yet I cannot return
to Themyscira

until I complete my mission
to save the world of man.

[sighs]

There is only one way.

If I desire to find a true home
in the world of man,

I must cease to be
Diana of Themyscira

and become, once and for all,

Diana of Metropolis.

[grunts]

- [woman] Ow!
- [gasps]

[groans]

[gasps]
Is that a Hestian xiphos?

And a dory engraved
with the symbols of Artemis?

My apologies. Are you hurt?

You...

- You're an Amazon!
- [gasps]

[Diana] "Julia Kapatelis.
Professor of Archeology."

That's right. My specialty
is ancient Greece,

but my first love
is Themyscira.

[gasps] This once belonged
to my Aunt Antiope.

And this...

This is Jumpa.

She was mine
when I was only 72.

[gasps] Mother.

No.

No, I must put my past aside.

I am Diana of Metropolis now.

[Julia] A warrior's home
is where she needs no armor.

[gasps]

An Amazon proverb.

Well, here in the world
of man, we say,

"Home is where the heart is."

Wherever your heart is.

This room used
to be my daughter's.

She's away at college now.

Diana, I know what it's like
to feel alone.

Out there, you can be Diana
of Metropolis if you must.

But here, if you care to stay,

you can always remain
Diana of Themyscira.

[chuckles] Mmm!

[sighs happily]