07x08 - The Stand-Up Mouse/Daydream Doctor/Happy Garfield Day

[bunniefuu]

[Narrator] Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. [drumroll]

♪ We're, we're ♪

♪ Ready, ready ♪

♪ To, to ♪

♪ Party

♪ We're ready to party we're ready ♪

♪ I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ I'm scared

♪ Come in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Dancing, fiesta ♪

♪ Romancing, siesta ♪

♪ Samba, la bamba ♪

♪ Aye carumba

♪ Disguises, disguises ♪

♪ Surprises, surprises ♪

♪ And pies of, and pies of ♪

♪ All sizes

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Come on in it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends

[Garfield] The cartoon show to watch

when you won't settle for just any cartoon show.

[drum roll booming]

[upbeat music]

Well Garfield, how was lunch?

Service, C plus, promptness, B minus, quality of food, C,

quantity of food, D minus?

Ambiance, F!

[Odie grunting]

[Garfield] Ambiance, it means your surroundings.

I suppose you'd a strolling violinist

to play while you eat.

[Garfield] You think you can arrange it?

[Garfield booming]

And stay out of the kitchen until you learn

not to complain so much!

[Garfield] Boy, some people can't tolerate

a little constructive criticism.

[Floyd] Get off, you're squashing me!

[Garfield] Oops, sorry Floyd!

[Floyd] It's okay Garf, I'm used to it.

Yeah, this place looks okay, I'll take it.

[Garfield] What's this Floyd,

you're renting out your mouse hole, why?

[Floyd] Why, why, he asks.

I haven't had one good role on this show all season.

I'm movin' to another show.

I'm gettin' gray waitin' for a good role on this series.

[Garfield] Floyd, you're a mouse!

You're supposed to be gray!

[door slamming]

Huh, actors.

[Floyd] Oh they can always find room on the show

for Penelope or whatever her name is

and those stupid ants.

We're the ants who ruin your picnic, some act.

I tell you what, you can move in right now pal.

Thanks, but it's too bad they don't seem to have a cat.

[Floyd] Sure they do,

that's who I was talkin' to, Garfield.

That was a cat?

[Floyd] Sure what'd you think it was?

I don't know, some sort of household appliance

like maybe a toaster oven with fur.

[Floyd] Well listen, I'm late for my new job.

I hope you enjoy my old hole in the wall.

I'll show 'em, I'll 'em all.

My new show promised me lots of time on camera.

Oh boy, a cat.

I am gonna get a lotta exercise.

All right cat, let's go, let's go!

How 'bout once around the living room.

Come on, it's time to chase the mouse.

Let's go cat, come on, chase the mouse!

You seem to be having a little trouble

with the concept here fella.

You're a cat, cats chase mice.

Okay, you got it?

Now let's go!

[Garfield grunting]

Hey, hey cat.

What is your problem.

[Garfield] My problem is I have a mouse

yelling in my face.

Then chase me!

I need the exercise.

And hey let's face it, it's not as if you

couldn't stand to drop a couple pounds too.

[Garfield] Hey, if you're gonna get insulting

then I definitely won't chase ya.

I don't believe this, a cat that won't chase mice.

I oughta sell tickets to see this.

I oughta, hey.

Now, that is not a bad idea.

[Odie panting]

All right, okay, all right don't push folks.

You'll all get in if you made a reservation.

Take over for me will ya pal,

I have a show to get ready for.

[Odie grunting inquisitively]

Good evening ladies and rodents

and welcome to the Comedy Hole.

And now would you put your hands together

and welcome the comedy stylings of Myron Mouse.

Thank you, thank you.

Hey, hey what a great crowd.

And you know, I couldn't help but notice

when I came out here, you are so loud.

Not that certain species among us might notice.

[mice laughing]

[Man] Floyd mouse on stage please!

[Floyd] All right, all right already.

Who needs the Garfield show?

Oh, Mr. Director sir, I never got a copy of the script.

[Director] You won't need a script Floyd.

[Floyd] Oh I get it, improvisation.

Hey pal, what's the name of this show?

[Man] It's the Giant Robot Ninja Pussycat.

[Floyd] [chuckles] Gia, gia.

DIRECTOR: Five, four, three, two,

cue the Giant Robot Ninja Pussycats.

[robots whirring and grunting]

[lasers booming]

[upbeat music]

[Floyd] Stunt mouse!

Garfield, I gotta get Garfield to give me my job back!

The roles are small but at least you don't get stepped on.

Right, can you imagine a cat applying for a job?

Yes, we have an opening for a cat,

but you'll have to sleep from nine till five,

straight through and the cat goes what,

sleep straight through?

There's no rest period?

[mice laughing]

How do you study for this job,

I guess you have to go to college,

but you'd have to major in hibernation.

What do you do if you get fired?

How do you get fired from a job like this?

What do you get energetic?

And hey, what do they do on their days off?

What do they do, some heavy napping?

Oh, sorry I'm late for work boss, but I slept in.

[mice laughing]

[Odie grunting]

And you know what they call these animals

that people wait on hand and foot?

Pets, you know what I'd do if I had a cat?

Lemme get this straight now, kitty.

You expect to sleep all day then I feed you,

then you expect me to open the door for you?

Uh-huh no, no, no I don't think you get it.

See, here's how it's gonna work.

You are gonna move your furry rear end over here,

you're gonna learn some tricks, okay?

Yeah, how 'bout learning to roll over,

or is that gonna be a little too complicated for ya?

[Odie grunting]

[Garfield] Who's eating half sour

kosher dill pickle spears?

And you know what cats do to keep themselves clean?

They lick themselves!

Oh that sounds real sanitary, eh?

Oh yeah, a lot of the better hospitals in the world,

they sterilize everything using nothing but cat spit.

[microphone tapping]

[mice zooming]

No, no, no, wait, he doesn't chase mice, stop!

Don't leave, at least pay your cover charges!

[Floyd] Lemme through, lemme through,

excuse me I wanna get in.

Let me through!

Now look what you've done.

[Garfield] I think you'd better move out.

Yeah, well who's gonna make me?

You, I don't think so.

See you don't chase mice fella, remember?

You know why you don't?

'Cause you might accidentally get a little exercise.

That's why you don't chase mice.

[Floyd] No, but I do.

Oh whoa, hey, hey.

This place was startin' to get on my nerves anyway,

so hey it's all yours.

[Floyd] Look, I'm sorry I quit you Garfield.

Really I am.

You think you could find a part on the show for me?

Even a teensy one?

[Garfield] Huh, I think something can be arranged.

Oh so you've decided to come back here

for dinner, have you?

It doesn't bother you that this restaurant doesn't have

a strolling violinist?

[Garfield] Hey it's okay, I took care of it.

[Garfield clapping]

[violin squeaking]

[Floyd] Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking.

But at least I got back on the show again.

[upbeat music]

[handle grinding]

[chair boinging]

[Garfield] Stupid recliner.

[upbeat music]

So there I was, camped out on the most beautiful

of beaches here on this tropical island.

All around me were the most beautiful flowers

and tropical birds.

And then she appeared.

She was skilled in the art of hula.

Her every gesture communicating but one thought.

She danced her way into my life and heart

and in a sultry voice she said to me.

Orson, the weasel is after the chickens!

What?

I said the weasel is after the chickens!

Oh, let's go!

Let's use weasel counter maneuver 17B,

the rent-a-car trick!

[Orson] Good idea.

Nobody around to stop me [laughs].

I need a good way to get out of here.

Hmm, weasel rent-a-car.

That's it!

Ooh, I hope they have a red convertible.

Maybe with some dice hanging from the rear view, hey!

[weasel screaming]

It's just as well, I don't know how to drive.

What a dumb place to put a mountain.

Here you go ladies.

Beau, you were supposed to be guarding the chickens.

Like I don't think so man.

Like I think so Beau.

I have the guard schedule right here

and it clearly says two o'clock,

chicken coupe guard duty Orson.

Orson, Orson?

Oh, I am sorry.

It's like okay, man.

No it's like not okay.

Because of me the chickens were almost, oh no.

I feel awful.

Ah, you do?

Mayhaps, do you suppose it is because you have

guilt over your actions?

And who may I ask are you?

Edward R. Furrow, psychiatrist, badger at large.

You're like a mind doctor?

Well, one might refer to me as such,

however, I suggest you assume a horizontal position,

if you will, and let us see if we can

get to the root of your problem.

Hey my problem is they flung me against a mountain,

and all because I was tryin' to steal some chickens.

Ah, I see.

And why did you attempt to, as you say,

abscond with these chickens?

I like to eat chickens.

I see, and just what is it that these chickens

represent to you?

Lunch.

Uh-huh, I see, anything else?

Dinner?

And in what manner does the consumption of chicken

relate to any basic hostilities you may have

toward your mother?

My ma raised me to be a chicken stealer

and a chicken stealer I am!

Ah yes, very good, well go with it Mr. Weasel.

So, so, so I'm gonna make my ma proud of me

and I'm gonna go steal me some chickens!

Right I suppose that would follow.

Well, it seems that I have solved his concerns.

Mayhaps I should find another troubled person to assist.

I don't know, maybe I do spend too much time

fantasizing from books, but books are so educational.

They're so exciting!

Ah my friend, you seem bothered.

I am.

Well then why not recline on my sofa here

and tell me all about it.

Safe at home, ladies.

Now don't you worry about that weasel.

Okay, like, which one of us will stand guard Roy?

Let's flip a coin.

Heads you stand guard, tails I get to take a nap.

Hey, hold on, like uno memento.

[Roy] Yeah.

I'm not as dumb as I look, man.

Well I was just trying to--

Heads you go take a nap, tails like I stand guard.

I guess I can't fool you, Beau.

Okay, have it your way.

Tails, you stand guard.

Well, at least it was like fair and square.

Ahh, the sheep is standing guard.

Perfect!

Ahem, bock bock ba-kaw.

Bock, bock ba-kaw.

Like you bock bock ba-kawed ma'am?

Lemme inside.

Uh, uh please let me inside sheep.

Right away, like we gotta keep you

safe from that ugly ole weasel man.

Well the problem is I have a vivid imagination

and when I'm reading a book, others get drawn into my

imagination and they see my fantasies.

I see.

Well perhaps the cause of this is so deep inside of you

we could reach it via hypnosis.

Hypnosis?

Yes, a means by which we can often delve into

the subconscious mind.

Now, I want you just keep your eyes on the watch

and note how heavy your eyelids are becoming.

I'm sorry, I can't be hypnotized.

My mental powers are too strong.

[Orson snoring]

Excuse me, I have to go to the dump

and get rid of this, uh, trash.

Hey, like I'll take it for you.

No!

I mean, no thanks, I can do it.

Everything I read becomes part of me,

part of my imagination.

Like if I read a western novel about a sheriff,

other people can see my fantasy.

Or a book about a giant ape, or a pirate ship.

I did it ma, I got me them chickens.

Aye, aye, aye, aye!

Help, help!

[ape grunting]

Double help!

[ship dinging]

[Roy snoring]

[horse clopping]

Did you see a man on a horse go by?

[ape grunting]

[Roy shouting]

Wait a minute, I know what's going on here!

Orson has fantasies, but they usually aren't this bad!

Oh and then I read a book about Abraham Lincoln

and one about circus performers, oh and Moby d*ck.

[weasel panting]

Help, anyone!

Hey, that doctor guy said I might have guilt feelings

about stealing chickens!

[elephant squealing]

That must be it.

Help, big fish, help!

Beau, are the chicken's all right?

Like I had the situation well in hand.

Here, take 'em back!

I'll never steal another chicken as long as I live.

Not even for you, ma.

[chickens clucking]

Like, wanna flip the coin again, man.

Oh, and I read a book of Garfield cartoons

and a book on Italian cooking.

Snap out of it sir, come out of the trance.

And I, huh, what?

So as I was saying, you can't hypnotize me.

I see, well tell me.

How did you enjoy that book you read about locomotives?

How did you know I read a book about locomotives?

[train dinging]

Oh I was just following your train of thought.

[upbeat music]

Isn't it nice to have a quiet, leisurely breakfast

like this, guys?

I don't have to rush, we can have a quiet Thursday morning.

[Garfield] Ahem.

What's that you're showing me Garfield?

Oh, it's not Thursday, it's Friday? [laughs]

How 'bout that.

Ahh, Friday, Friday!

But I have meetings on Friday, things to do!

I have to go get dressed.

No, first I'll call and tell 'em I'll be late.

No if I call and tell 'em I'll be late

then I'll be even later.

No, first I have to take a shower.

No, first I have to review those reports.

No, I have to get dressed first!

No, I'll get dressed and review those reports

while I take a shower, that'll save time.

[Garfield] Any more toast?

Mm-hmm.

[Garfield] Muchas gracias.

I'm leaving now, I'll have the car washed

on my way to the meeting that started an hour ago

and then I'll stop off during lunch and have breakfast

and I gotta go, bye.

[Garfield] Another typical day.

[Odie] Mm-hmm.

[Garfield] You know Ode, it usually doesn't bother me

Jon's so disorganized, but next week's my birthday.

[Odie grunting]

I'd better make extra sure Jon doesn't forget that date.

[Odie grunting]

I'm home!

Anybody here, Garfield, Odie?

Only six more days until Garfield's birthday.

Ha, ha.

[Jon humming]

You know that sign Garfield put up in the living room

yesterday was kind of cute.

[plane humming]

Five more days until Garfield's birthday.

I don't believe this.

What am I gonna do?

Well for starters, you're gonna ring out your mail.

[upbeat music]

I hope Garfield doesn't try

another birthday announcement today.

I, [gasping].

Only four more days until Garfield's birthday.

Stores open late.

Huh, how was he able to rent.

[Jon screaming] [brakes squealing]

[car crunching] [siren roaring]

License please.

[Jon sobbing]

[doorbell ringing]

If this is that cat with today's reminder.

Yes?

You are Jon Arbuckle?

Yes.

I have a singing telegram for you.

♪ Roses are red and orchids are gray ♪

♪ Garfield's birthday is three days away ♪

That'll be $9 please.

[Jon grunting]

Well, it's seven o'clock and Garfield hasn't

announced his birthday all day.

Guess he's giving that up.

And stocks closed down six points.

In more important matters, it's only two days

until Garfield's birth--

I knew it, I knew it!

No!

I can't take it any longer!

I have to get away from here!

[car screeching]

[upbeat music]

Here, take all my money.

Just put me on the next plane to anywhere, anywhere!

[plane zooming]

Aah, Mexico, or Mexico.

Lovely wonderful far from Garfield Mexico!

I just couldn't take another announcement.

[speaking foreign language]

Hold on, I don't speak Spanish sir,

but I bought this book at the airport.

Let's see, [speaking foreign language].

Ah, here it is.

The birthday of your cat is tomorrow.

Garfield, wherever you are, I give up!

Whatever you want, it's yours!

[Garfield] Really?

[speaking foreign language]

Let's go home, and you can have anything you want

for your birthday.

You name the menu.

[Garfield] Now you're talking, ole!

[upbeat music]

[playful music]

♪ For the first course of dinner ♪

♪ You're gonna make for me

♪ Lasagna prima verde

♪ For the second course of dinner ♪

♪ you're gonna make for me

♪ Two prime ribs

♪ And a lasagna prima verde

♪ For the third course of dinner you're gonna make for me ♪

♪ Three bean salad

♪ Two prime ribs

♪ And lasagna prima verde

♪ For the fourth course of dinner ♪

♪ you're gonna make for me

♪ Four pounds of shrimp

♪ Three bean salad

♪ Two prime rib

♪ And lasagna prima verde

♪ For the fifth course of dinner you're gonna make for me ♪

♪ Five onion rings

♪ Four pounds of shrimp

♪ Three bean salad

♪ Two prime ribs

♪ And lasagna prima verde

♪ For the sixth course of dinner you're gonna make for me ♪

♪ Six sausage pizzas

♪ Five onion rings

♪ Four pounds of shrimp

♪ Three bean salad

♪ Two prime ribs

♪ And lasagna prima verde

[Garfield] Notice a pattern forming here?

♪ For the seventh course of dinner ♪

♪ you're gonna make for me

♪ Seven baked potatoes, six sausage pizzas ♪

♪ Five onion rings

♪ Four pounds of shrimp, three bean salad ♪

♪ Two prime ribs, and lasagna prima verde ♪

[Garfield] With extra sauce on the side.

♪ For the eighth course of dinner ♪

♪ you're gonna make for me

♪ Eight chili burgers, and all that other food ♪

♪ And lasagna prima verde

[Garfield] We all know the menu by now.

♪ For the ninth course of dinner you're gonna make for me ♪

♪ Nine sukiyakis and all the food I listed ♪

♪ And lasagna prima verde

[Garfield] In larger portions!

♪ For the 10th course of dinner you're gonna make for me ♪

♪ Ten beef burritos and all the food he listed ♪

♪ And lasagna prima verde

[Garfield] Two more to go folks.

♪ For the 11th course of dinner you're gonna make for me ♪

♪ 11 veal cutlets and other things quite yummy ♪

♪ And lasagna prima verde

♪ For the 12th course of dinner I'd like seconds please ♪

♪ 11 veal cutlets, 10 beef burritos ♪

♪ Nine sukiyakis, eight chili burgers ♪

♪ Seven baked potatoes, six sausage pizzas ♪

♪ Five onion rings

♪ Four pounds of shrimp, three bean salad ♪

♪ Two prime ribs, and lasagna prima verde ♪

What's this?

Only 365 more days till Garfield's next birthday.

[upbeat music]