07x02 - A Matter of Conscience/Grape Expectations: Part 2/Top Ten

[bunniefuu]

[Narrator] Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. [drumming]

♪ We're ♪ We're

♪ Ready ♪ Ready

♪ To ♪ To

♪ Party

♪ We're ready to party, we're ready ♪

♪ I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Dancing, fiesta, romancing, siesta, samba, la bamba, ♪

♪ Ay caramba

♪ Disguises, disguises, surprise, surprises ♪

♪ And pies of, and pies of all sizes ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and friends ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends

The cartoon show to watch

when you won't settle for just any cartoon show.

[banjo music]

♪

No early American hero was as colorful as one man

who walked from one of this new land to the other,

planting his seeds.

Hello, I'm walking from one end of this new land

to the other, planting my seeds.

Didn't someone just say that?

I know you young fella.

You're Johnny Appleseed.

You walk from one end of this new land to the other

planting apple seeds.

I'm afraid I don't plant apple seeds.

I plant--

Oranges, you plant orange trees.

No I plant.

Lemons.

No.

No, no. Cherries, tangerines.

Apricots, plums, pears.

No, no, and no.

Wake when me when we get to the end of this fruit salad.

[Man] Blueberries?

[Jon] No.

[Jon] No. [Man] Strawberries?

[Jon] No. [Man] Huckleberries?

No. Any kind of berry?

Polynesian water mangos.

No.

Alaskan gold papayas?

No.

Okay I give up.

What do you plant young fella?

Here comes the part

where we get chased into the next county.

I plant ragweed.

You plant.

[sniffles]

Ragweed?

[sneezing]

I'll just be going.

Ragweed makes most people sneeze.

[sneezing]

Look at the time, I'm due anywhere else.

[banjo music]

♪ The legend of Johnny Ragweedseed ♪

♪ A tale of dismay

♪ Each morn he'd visit a brand new town ♪

♪ And they chase him far away

♪ Yeah they'd chase him far away ♪

[sneezing]

[Garfield] Everyday Johnny Ragweedseed

would visit a new city.

As usual, Johnny planted his ragweed all over town

and as usual, the town's people started sneezing.

[sneezing]

[yelling]

[crashing]

You were supposed to hold the ladder.

How could you fall when?

[sneezing]

[Garfield] Soon everyone was sneezing.

[sneezing]

Gesundheit.

[Garfield] Even in the town saloon

where two notorious bank robbers

were planning their next job.

There's gotta be a way to knock off that bank in Midvale.

[sneezing]

That's too well guarded, Bart.

[sneezing]

[yelling]

What in the name of Pat Bottom is going on here?

[yelling]

It's my name.

I have to.

Bert.

Yeah Bart?

I think I just figured out a way

how we can rob the bank at Midvale.

Really?

[laughing]

[sneezing]

♪ The legend of Johnny Ragweedseed ♪

♪ A title of dismay

♪ Each morn he'd visit a brand town ♪

♪ And they'd chase him far away ♪

♪ Yeah they'd chase him far away ♪

[sneezing]

[panting]

I think we lost our pursuers.

To say nothing of my lunch.

Maybe I should give it up.

Change my name to something people like more.

Yikes.

Please I'm sorry I made you sneeze.

I have to plant ragweed.

It's my name.

It's okay.

We like ragweed.

We do?

Oh yeah we do.

You do?

Yes in fact, I'd like to have you decorate my business

with ragweed.

Really?

Really and truly?

Yes sir.

I'm the owner of the bank in Midvale.

[Garfield] And so the stupid,

dedicated planter planted his ragweed

all around the bank in Midvale.

I planted ragweed around your bank mister banker sir.

Why are you two wearing clothespins on your noses?

That's in case we need to dry our laundry.

Excuse us for a second please.

Well Roosevelt, looks like I finally found someone

who appreciates my ragweed.

Oh they appreciated it alright.

[sneezing]

They appreciated it to the tune of around 8000 bucks.

They'd have appreciated it more,

but that was all the money the bank had.

[Crowd] There they are.

There he is.

He's the one who planted it.

Grab him, get him.

[shouting]

[Garfield] So Johnny Ragweedseed and his cat

were quickly arrested on a charge of aggravated allergies

and led off to the pokey.

♪ The legend of Johnny Ragweedseed ♪

♪ Is written in the wind

Hold on.

♪ They threw him behind some big steels bars. ♪

Hey give me that.

Well what are you doing?

Sorry I couldn't take one more chorus of that.

Okay take us to the slammer.

And put the cost of one banjo on the kid here's tab.

[slamming]

Johnny Ragweedseed, how do you plead?

Like this your honor.

[Garfield] But the clever cat wasn't about to give up.

He grabbed exhibit A.

Johnny's pouch of ragweed seed

and launched its contents into the air.

[sneezing]

Stop that cat.

[sneezing]

Where are we going?

We can't get away from them.

[sneezing]

Hurry we have to catch the 4:15 stagecoach

and flee with this loot.

Can I take this clothespin off now, Bart?

[sneezing]

[slamming]

Hey I know these two.

They're Black Bart and Beige Burt.

They are two notorious bank robbers.

And here's all the loot from the bank heist.

Men, it would seem we've done a grave disservice

to the good name of Johnny Ragweedseed.

[Garfield] True but it was too late.

Johnny Ragweedseed disappeared into the forest with his cat

and was never seen again.

♪ The legend of Johnny Ragweedseed ♪

♪ The man they never found

♪ If one fine morn you start to sneeze ♪

♪ Then perhaps he's been around ♪

♪ Yeah perhaps he's been around ♪

[Garfield] Hey don't make me break another banjo lady.

♪ The Johnny Ragweedseed the man they never found ♪

♪ If one fine morn you start to sneeze ♪

♪ Then perhaps he's been around ♪

♪ Yes perhaps he's been around

[gentle music]

[Jon] The mice are back, Garfield.

So there are a few mice around.

Big, fat, hairy deal.

[Jon] You're not carrying

your weight around here, Garfield.

You're supposed.

Oh no, squirrels.

There are squirrels in the house.

And a couple of squirrels.

So what.

[Jon] Garfield you have to.

Oh no.

Now this I can't take it anymore.

I can't stand this.

[yelling]

I guess the herd of armadillos pushed him over the edge.

[upbeat music]



All finished with the count Ors?

All finished,

but Roy was supposed to be here to stand guard.

Guard the fruit Booker,

while I go find our missing fruit guardian.

Okay Orsen.

Mmm.

Delicious.

[upbeat music]

Can't you read the sign?

It says do not disturb.

That includes you piggo.

Roy open this door.

Roy.

Hey isn't that leggy supermodel Chicksy Brinkley.

Chicksy Brinkley where is she?

What's she wearing and will she marry me?

Roy you'd better get on duty.

The big c*ck-a-doodle is visiting this county today.

I don't care who's visiting.

Whom did you say is visiting?

The big c*ck-a-doodle.

[yelling]

Hut two, three, four.

Hut two, three, four.

Hut two, three, four.

Hut two, three, four.

Hut two, three, four.

I'm guarding the fruit Orson.

Hut two, three, four.

Roy.

I'll see you guys later.

Please don't tell the big c*ck-a-doodle.

Please, please, please.

If even one little grape is missing.

There won't be.

Not a grape.

Not a peach pit, not a watermelon seed.

Roy is on guard.

Do your job and you have nothing to worry about.

Oh worry, oh fret.

Why so much anxiety Roy?

You remind me of me.

You're right.

I shouldn't panic.

I should be calm, collected, and what are you eating?

A grape.

A grape!

You ate a grape.

Come back.

Orson says that if even one grape is missing,

he's going to report me to the big c*ck-a-doodle.

[crying]

Guard the fruit.

I'm gonna find another grape.

Grape, grape, must find a grape.

Grape, grape, grape,

there's gotta be one grape left on the vines here.

Nothing, not one grape left.

There's gotta be a place I can get my hands on a grape.

Of course.

I should have thought of this before.

There it is.

They'll have a grape.

I hope there isn't a line waiting to check out.

I haven't much time.

No one is waiting.

This is my lucky day.

Here they are.

Grapes.



Perfect.

I'll replace the grape and no one will ever.

[gentle music]

By the time I get out of here, this thing will be a raisin.

[dramatic music]

How come Roy isn't on guard duty

like he's supposed to be?

How come?

Well oh there's a very good reason you know.

Yeah you'd probably like to know

what that very good reason is.

[mumbling]

Where's Roy with that grape?

Let's see.



This grape will cost me.

[mumbling]

Okay one half a cent.

Oh I hope they have change for a penny.

Wade are you hiding something?

[honking]

Wow that is one long limousine.

WADE: I wonder if the front seat and the back seat

are ever in the same time zone.

Whose is it?

There's only one individual

who could have a limo like that.

The big c*ck-a-doodle.

Where are you Roy?

Yoo hoo.

How about opening another line people?

Before all the milk these folks are buying

reaches its expiration date.

[crying]

[trumpet music]

[Both] Make way for the big c*ck-a-doodle.

Hey what's going on here?

[Both] Shh.

Where is Roy Rooster?

Hurry Roy.

Hurry.

[snoring]

Only one person ahead of me.

I should be out of here in no time.

[Cashier] $81.77.

Is it alright if I pay with coins?

Oh no.

As you know, I represent all roosters.

I'm here to check up on Roy.

Roy, uh he was guarding our grape harvest.

He must be around here somewhere.

[Customer] And another nickel makes $2

plus a dime makes $2.10 and another quarter.

Now wait that is a subway token.

[grumbling]

And do you know anything

about the whereabouts of Roy Rooster?

Who me?

Answer me duck, are there any grapes missing?

Grapes missing?

Oh no, of course not.

There are no grapes missing.

I see.

Are there any apples missing?

No just that one grape.

No, no grapes.

Did I say a grape was missing?

Oh my where would I get a silly idea like that?

I want a recount on your grape harvest

and I want it now.

Now wait just a minute Mr. c*ck-a-doodle.

You can't just barge in.

I am the big c*ck-a-doodle.

I can do whatever I want.

Begin the recount at once.

Yes sir.

Roy hurry.

[Cashier] Next please.

Here just one grape.

No coupons.

[Cashier] Paper or plastic?

Anything just get me out of here.



Where is Roy Rooster?

Right here sir.

I'm sorry.

I thought I heard a weasel by the hen house.



You were guarding the grape harvest were you not?

That I was.

If even one is missing.

I am unafraid.

Okay I counted all the grapes again.

And?

I'm afraid one is missing.

One is missing?

But that's not possible.

It's not.

Come along with me Roy Rooster.

Roy's really in big trouble now.

It's worse than you think.

This episode is over.

Oh no, is there anything we can do.

See if Garfield will give us two more minutes.

I'm afraid there's only one way we can possibly save Roy.

BOOKER: To be continued.

But when?

WADE: In our next episode of course.

[upbeat music]

[gentle music]

Shh.

Going to catch a bird.

[upbeat music]

[crashing]

[gentle music]

Gunther.

Garfield.

What are you doing chasing my bird?

Your bird?

I suppose you had your name on it or something.

My house, my yard, my bird.

I thought the Arbuckle kid owned the house.

Yeah well I own the Arbuckle kid.

Oh good point.

Now Ludlow, you look for food here

while I go search in another yard

and remember, stay away from cats.

Yes father dear.

My dear daddy always worries too much about p*ssy cats.

But I guess that's what daddies are for.

Gunther old pal,

I think there's only one way to settle this.

[crashing]

And stay out.

Any birds in this yard are mine.

Who does he think he is horning in on my birding territory?

Why I oughta.

Well hello there.

Observe the fine bird stalking technique.

The secretive means by which the cat approaches.

The cunning way he hides

so as not to be spotted prematurely.

The graceful manner in which he sprints for his quarry.

The ballet like technique

with which he launches himself into the air.

[crashing]

The stupid way he runs into the lawn sprinkler.

[gentle music]

I know you.

You're that kitty cat I like to play with.

Ludlow.

Hi remember the time you tried to make me into a sandwich

and my father came and mopped the place with you.

That was fun.

Hey let's play cat and bird.

I'll be the bird, you be the cat.

Alright what do I have to do.

You pretend like you're about to devour me.

Like this.

Hey.

You come out of there.

[Ludlow] You didn't floss after lunch mister kitty cat.

I've got you or is that my tonsils.

Ludlow where are you son?

[Ludlow] I'm here in the kitty cat's mouth father dear.

What?

[yelling]

I don't want to play with you anymore.

Let go of me.

[screaming]

Oh no tree.

Fortunately I missed the tree.

[crashing]

Unfortunately I didn't miss the house.

Come on Ludlow.

Let's get you out of this yard.

Good bye mister kitty cat.

I'd wave back that would involve

finding the part of me that still functions.

I'll find you some food father dear.

Just stay away from cats, Ludlow.

Oh boy.

Hello mister p*ssy cat.

Would you like to play a game?

Yeah let's play grab the birdie.

It sounds like fun.

How do you play grab the birdie

and is it anything like Go Fish?

What are the rules?

Shut up.

Can two play it?

Is there a computer version out yet?

Oh my aching everything.

From now on, the only birds around me

better be served with cranberry sauce.

I caught a bird, I caught a bird.

First time ever I caught a bird.

Can you win money playing grab the birdie?

Shut up.

One of those two is going to be very sorry,

but it's not my problem.

So what if Gunther eats that cute little bird.

Hey don't look at me like that.

You worried about the bird?

Okay you go save him.

Who'd even want to eat a bird.

Okay I know what you're thinking.

I'm a rat because I won't go save Ludlow.

So have it your way.

I'm a rat.

You can stop looking at me like that

because I'm not saving him.

Alright, alright stop nagging, I'll save him.

I want you to know I'm only doing this for you.

Are we still playing grab the birdie?

Shut up.

Who's winning?

Be quiet.

You're not gonna eat that.

Why not?

Well look at him.

He's simply full of fat grams and cholesterol and calories.

Probably has MSG in him too.

But he's just one tiny bird.

That's how it always starts.

One tiny hot fudge sundae.

One tiny pepperoni pizza.

One tiny bird.

Next thing you know, you're the size of a bus.

Well they're your love handles.

Enjoy your meal tub-o.

Hey wait a minute.

I don't want to be fat.

Here take this.

Well okay but before I go let's have 50 pushups.

Let's go.

Move it, move it, move it.

One, two.

Five, nine.

Let's get outta here bird.



Hey.

Is this a new game?

When did Garfield get interested in physical fitness?

Hey you come back with my bird.

After this can we play shuffle board

or a few hands of old maid?

I'm starting to regret saving him.

Oh goodie, are we going for a ride?

Next season I'm having it put in my contract,

no more recurring characters.

Wave to Gunther, Ludlow.

Where's that bus' next stop?

Let's put it this way.

I hope for Gunther's sake there's a restroom on board.

Or at least a sandbox.

Anyway, for reasons of safety,

I suggest you stay away from cats.

But you're a cat.

I warned you about trying to catch my son.

[yelling]

I didn't mean your safety.

I meant mine.

[yelling]

Father can I play with the kitty too, can I?

[yelling]

[upbeat music]