01x12 - Fun, Time and Space/Hooray for Meat

[bunniefuu]

What do you want to do today?The same

thing we do every day, Pinky. Endure

Elmira, then try to take over the world.

The

situation's changed for Pinky and the

brain. No laboratory

alone in the rain, and someone's

looking round for where they might be

found. It's Pinky or Pinky and the

Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain.

Trapped inside a store, a girl ran in the

door. She bought a discount turtle

but ended up with more. Now Pinky

and the Brain share a new domain.

It's what the network wants. They bother

to complain. The earth remains a goal.

Some things they can't control. They're

pinky, Elmira and the brain. Brain.

I deeply present this.

Trolls.

Welcome to Elmira's Fun Time Show.

I'm Elmira and I'm very pretty. And my

first guest is me.

This is my show run by me. It's a

happy scene. I am the

star and the host and the gorgeous

queen. Some of my guests are

furry. Some of my guests are not.

But all of my guests are ready to go on

Elmira's Fun Time Show.

And now, Mr. Shellbut Turtleface

will dance his latest turtle dance.

That song was the most banal,

self-serving ditty I've ever heard.

Elmira might just have a future in show

business. Um, Brain, speaking of showbiz,

I am a guest today on Elmira's Fun Time

Show. I'll be promoting my latest movie,

The Great Pinky Adventure. Nice.

An interesting title. Too bad Dumb and

Dumber was already taken. Oh,

you don't see one of these every day.

Narf. I would hazard to say that we are

the first to gaze upon a black hole

in a jar. Though, to be fair, Brain, it

looks more like a big fat piece of fruit

in a jar. You have the insight of a

grunion. Through artificial gravity, I

shall cause that nectarine to collapse in

on itself, creating a miniature black

hole. Observe. First, a

supernova.

Then implosion, creating a dense neutron

fruit. Finally, gravity collapses the

mass, resulting in a black hole in a

jar. Pinky, it's a commercial

bonanza. We shall market black hole in a

jar as the ultimate environmental garbage

disposal. Get brilliant brain.

Is that a good idea?Yes.

Drop any household waste into the black

hole. It will be drawn past the event

horizon. There, Titanic gravitational

forces spaghettify all matter into thin

fragments. These fragments are drawn ever

downward to the bottom of the black hole,

known as the singularity. There, the laws

of time and space no longer apply. In any

case, it is a fit resting place for

coffee grounds and disposable diapers.

The patent to black hole in a jar will

make me incredibly wealthy. I shall buy

power and rule the world. What is

it?Um, Brain, I think my spot on Elmira's

show is coming up soon. I really should

get over there. Keep Elmira busy and out

of my hair. Oh, I shall prattle on for

hours about nothing. Troz! A

task you were bred for. My next

guest on Elmira's Funtime Show is

Pinky Big Nose! Yay!

Thank you, Elmira. I'm always glad to be

on your super, super show.

Did you bring a funny joke to say for

everyone?Ohh Yes.

Okay. How come sharks won't eat

clowns?I don't know.

Because they taste funny.

What drivel.

A play on words. Of course. That's

the fun of it. And didn't you just make

a fun movie movie?Why, yes, I did.

It's called The Great Pinky Adventure

Story Me. Perhaps you could roll a clip

and I'll explain all about it. Look out!

I'm falling from a plane. What will

happen to me?My name is Pinky Big

Nose. This is scary. Arr, lord.

UmmExcuse

me, Elmira, but that's not at all what

the great Pinky adventure is about. And

since it is my movie, I should make the

sounds for it, you see. It's my show,

Pinkly Winkly. Yes, but it's my movie.

Elmira's Funtime Show. It's my show,

and I get to be in charge all the time.

Well, I should tell all my celebrity

friends not to be on your program and to

go to a nice party instead. That's all

the time I have for you, Pinky.

My next guest is Mr.

Fish Arm.

The black hole is more powerful than I

imagined. I'm barely keeping it in check.

Pinky, what are you doing?You're supposed

to be with Elmira. In all

my years in the movie business, I have

never been treated so shabbily.

I'll tell you, Brain, that show has gone

to Elmira's head. Give someone a little

power and they turn on you like a rogue

duck. A rogue duck.

Pinky, Elmira has a pretend show. It's

all inside her drum-like head. Honestly,

Brain, if you're going to make excuses

for her unprofessional behavior, I just

don't care to listen. My next guest on

Elmira's sponge-time show is...

Yes?No, dirty

pants. I'm all out of guests.

Oh, Pinkly Winkly! Blast it,

Pinky, the both is seeking you. Go back

on her show at once. Easy for you to

say, brain. You weren't insulted in front

of a national audience. Silly big

nose, would you?Oh,

pretty circle. Don't touch that

jar, you towering crag of lunacy.

What?Big nose, Mousey, come

back on my show. I need you to be a

guest again. Please, please, please,

please, please, please, pleaseI have

other offers. Then Cranky Big Head can be

on my show. No, I have nothing to say.

My My conversation is low and insipid.

Pinky would love to go. Oh, no, thanks,

Brain. I've had my moment in the sun, and

it's not all it's cracked up to be, I'll

tell you. No! When I get out of this, I

shall devote an entire week to bopping

Pinky. My next guest on

Elmira's fun-time show is Cranky

Mosey. Yay!What a

thrilling pleasure to be here.

Look, a teddy bear Angel.

Poor brain playing up to Elmira. Oh, how

will he learn?He's

so crazy.

Oh, Elmira, would you like to see a magic

gnome?Oh, yes, Bendy, big head.

He lives inside this little table.

Dive into the table. Dive right

now. Magic. No.

Revenge is a dish best eaten piping

hot. Oh, brain.

Turn the dial on the gravity gauge

counterclockwise. Oh, fear, fear, fear.

Wait, I know what to do.

Wild black hole. Wild indeed.

We must quickly find a way to stop it.

Mousies! Pretty

circle! Look, mousies! See the

pretty circle?

Oh, a mouse is stuck!

Silly noodle,

mousies!

Train. I don't think the public wants a

garbage disposal that can stretch your

guts to infinity. I won't argue the

point. I feel as if my spleen were a

yard long.

This could be our only chance. Come,

Pinky.

Elmira, grab the table leg and play Crack

the Whip.

That was a close one, Brian. Technically,

you shouldn't be able to toss a black

hole out your bedroom window using a

table leg. I must take this up with

Stephen Hawking. Uncle

Quigley invites you over for sausage.

Advance 2 spices.

Nasty Mr. Root trips you. Lose a

turn. Oh, poopy wrapper. Hey,

Brain, do you want to play a game of

Uncle Quigley's treasure?White dwarf in a

jar?To what end?

Not just now. I must prepare for

tomorrow. What are we going to do

tomorrow, Brain?The same thing we do

every day, Pinky. Try to take over the

world. Cork in a cup. Hmm

They're Pinky, Elmira, and the Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain. Oh,

you can see by the way he flips his curl

That he's not a mouse, he's a little girl

He's so dainty, you'll adore How he rules

the world in a pinafore He's so sweet and

he's so cute He's precious in his robot

He can't smile or he can't pout. He'll

melt your heart or move it out. His head

is really tiny. He's got a mental honey.

He's Patty Anne. Patty Anne. Even

Scary Rudy thinks that he's a cutie Patty

Anne. Stop that.

Patty Anne. Patty Anne. Pinky.

Patty Anne.

Quiet. I don't need a theme song

following me wherever I go. Wow,

she's got her own theme song and

everything. Why are we in such a hurry,

Brain?Where are we going in all your

girlish splendor?I told you, Pinky, we

are on our way to the park to try out for

Meat Queen in the annual Meat Day parade.

Meat. Things go better with meat.

Meat. As you know, the town's biggest

employer is the Gristle Meat Company. Oh

yes, that's why it smells so lovely when

we're driving back from the mall. And

each year, in a misbegotten melange of

civic pride and corporate boosterism,

they throw a huge televised parade down

the Main Street of town, the Meat Day

Parade. We love meat. And one lucky

little girl is chosen to lead that parade

on television before millions of people.

Do you know who that lucky little girl

will be this year, Pinky?Someone named

Meat. Meat

my fist, Pinky. Hello.

This year's Meat Queen will be yours

truly. I shall charm the television

audience with hypnotic earrings, thereby

taking over the world. And then we'll get

lots of free meat. You know, Brain,

meat's not just for breakfast anymore.

Meat.

Funny, fun, fun. I love

juggling, juggling, juggling,

juggling with meat. All righty then.

That was our first contestant, Elmira.

But I haven't done my big finish. Don't

you want to see me juggle meat with my

feet to a funky, wonky beat, baby?

No, honey. Now, why don't you just go sit

downGive some of the other contestants a

chance. Ew, that was really

gross. Meat is my friendy,

Wendy. Don't hug that. Don't you know

where meat comes from?Uh, the

supermarket?Well, I've never seen meat

treated with such disrespect. Don't

worry, Mr. Gristle. She's a little nut

girl. But we have to let her try out like

everyone else. Our next

contestant is Vanity.

This is my salute to the Gristle Meat

Company. Oh, Gristle makes fine tasting

meat. It is perfect for breakfast or

dinner. Now that's

the kind of talent I'm looking for.

Hiya, Rudy, cutie, fresh and fruity. Did

you see me juggling meat?You're weird. I

just came here looking for your cousin,

Patty Ann. Patty

Ann that Jaboozle, is she here?

Now, remember, Pinky, when I tell you,

activate the earrings from inside the

suit. Oh, look, Brain, it's Elmira. Hi,

Elmira! Quiet, Pinky. Don't let

her see you. Mate. Quiet.

Hello, Cousin Elmira. I've missed you

so. Don't you be all smarty clown

nosy with me. You just came here to

make time with my man. I wouldn't give

two hoots for that walking cyst you call

a man. I knew you

liked him. You, you

pussyI believe you mean hussy

Yeah. Well, p*ssy's even more icky

poo better than hussyAnd you're an icky

poo, stinky person. And you're all

stinkity stink stink. And you

stink. Ouch. The next

contestant is Patty Ann. Animal

pieces in my stew. Floating

around in thick rag goo. A chop

to munch and a rib to chew. Cut

'em up, eat 'em up, good for you.

She's pretty good. Are you kidding?These

kids just keep getting weirder and

weirder. Now, Pinky, activate the

hypnojewelry. Hypnojewelry on.

How in the world am I gonna sell meat

with a tiny-headed girl baritone like

this?Why would I want an ice cream

cake?Vegetables make my

tummy ache. A big potato

just won't do. Give me animal

pieces in my stew. Why,

she's mesmerizing.

Yes. I crown you meatQueen.

Oh, joy! Meat, meat! Will you get to ride

in the parade a big float made of meat?A

float made of meat. Oh, that's a great

idea. A float made of meat. That's a

great idea. What?Pinky, turn off the

hypno jewelry. Aye, aye Meat! Hey,

Patty Anne, now that you're the meat

queen, want to go drop cows off the Pick

'n Save?I'm sorry, Rudy, I have a

girlish fear of heights. And of

you. For a minute there, I felt

like I was under a spell, but I had a

wonderful vision. I saw a parade float

made out of meat. Mate, it's the

fresh maker. Hey, aren't you one of those

talking mice?Mouse. Why?WhyNo,

he's he's not a mouse. He's a a float

designer. You are. What a coincidence. I

need one of them. You don't have any

experience with meat, do you?Meat. The

thick out picker upper. Well, if you're

as good at designing as you are at

slogans, you're hired. Always after

me, lucky meat.

It looks like you'll never get Rudy back

now that Patty Ann's the meat queen. I'm

not sharing golly parts with her anymore.

You know, if she stole my boyfriend and

I weren't such a good loser, and if I was

kind of, well, desperate like you, I

might try to get revenge. Who's

that?Don't you want to get even?

HuhYeah.

It's the hottest day of the summer, but

the town sure has turned out for the

annual Meat Day parade. The Meat

Queen will ride on a float made entirely

out of meat. Oh, I can hardly wait. The

Meat Queen must be getting ready right

about now. I feel like a fairy

Princess. Let's make the magic happen.

All right, roll it out, fellas. I call it

the Tiki Garden of World Peace, and it's

been completely out of meat. What is it?

Well, that's Lady Liberty made of meat

and a tiki hut made of meat, surrounded

by palm trees and tropical flowers, all

made of meat. Pinky, your gifts never

cease to frighten me. Meat!

Strong enough for a man, but I like it

too.

Hey, Rudy, Rudy, my cutie patootie.

I got you a meat on a stick.

Oh, no, thanks. Now that Patty Anne's the

meat queen, she can get me all the meat I

want, and I won't have to talk to you.

Patty Anne has all the meat and my

rooty-pooty. It's not even

fair. I know

something that'll make you feel better,

Elmira. Nothing will make me feel

better, ever. Not

even fuzzy animals.

Fuzzy wuzzies.

All right, the lads in the marching bands

is through the gate. Right, looks like

we're ready to roll, Brain. It's about

time. Lady Liberty is turning

rancid. Well, you look fabulous. Anchors

away.

Oh, look, the heads are all smithy

with the fist. They're famished. You

know, it sure would be a shame if all the

meat on that float went to waste.

Doggies like Mitty Whitty.

I love you, barky-warkies!

They're gonna eat the meat right from

under Patty and see.

I can smell that meat float coming around

the corner now. And what a

beauty she is. You know, Rob, it took



palm fronds, and 72 pounds of

rub roast to form Lady Liberty's arm.

Mmm, mmm, good.

We're nearing the television cameras.

Turn on the hypno earrings, Pinky. Aye,

ayeNeat. Aah.

Shoo. Go away.

Oh, no, my earrings.

Yes. I am the brain,

and you are under my power. You know,

Rob, it took two links sausages to make

the Meat Queen's earrings. Sausages?

No! No

And look at the choreography on those

dogs, Rob. Why, that must have taken them

years to rehearse. Uh, I don't see dogs

in the program.

A meat float and a tiny float designer?

What was I thinking?I must have been

hypnotized.

Look, Pinky, my earrings.

I'll save you. My plan is

ruined, Pinky. Let's go home and

prepare for tomorrow. What, Brain?What

are we going to do tomorrow?Make hats out

of fish?You can if you wish, Pinky.

I shall endure another day of Dolly dress

up and then try to take over the world.

The Pinky, Elmira and the Brain.

Brain. Brain. Brain. Meat.