01x01 - Patty Ann/Gee, Your Hair Spells Terrific

[bunniefuu]

What do you want to do today?The same

thing we do every day, Pinky. Endure

Elmira, then try to take over the world.

The

situation's changed for Pinky and the

brain. No laboratory

alone in the rain and someone's

looking round for where they might be

found. It's Pinky for Pinky and the

brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain,

brain, brain, brain.

The pressure magnified. With every lack

they tried, they had to flee

constantly, needing a place to hide.

Trapped inside a store, a girl went in

the door. She bought a discount turtle,

but ended up with more. Furry

things are nice. I love my donkey mice. I

take them to school and make them eat

rice. I spray them with perfume

in my own bedroom. They're greatly and

often in great pain.

Brain, brain, brain, brain.

So Pinky and the Brain share a new

domain. It's what the network was.

Why bother to complain?The Earth

remains a goal. Some things they can't

control. They're Pinky, Elmira, and

the Brain. Brain. I deeply resent this.

Trolls. Mousies.

Hi, Rudy, Rudy, oh so cutie.

Looking for me. No way. What'd you do

with those talking mice?I want to feed

them to Tonk, my snake. You're my Rudy,

Rudy extra scoot. Hey,

you nut, your hands are freezing. Oh,

baby. I hate

this. Look out for the

iceberg, Katie Winslow and Leonardo de

Capricorn. I

think Elmira's seen Titanic a few hundred

times too many. Trust. Let's hope she

never rents a Clockwork Orange. Of

course, by now her microscopic attention

span is focused on something else.

Pretty shower curtain.

Look, a diggy thing. You mean a backhoe?

Isn't a black hole in outer space where

planets and ducks and orphans get sucked

in?Don't make me shake you, Pinky.

I'm working on a plan to conquer the

world that will involve this sewer. Eh,

God, brilliant brain. Oh, um, are we

going to take over the world before or

after a bathy-wathy...

drat?

Bathy-wathy for the little mousies and

their poopy smell. My

body feels all tingly. It's a

side effect of having your skin scraped

off.

There are so many fun things around here,

Brain. Yes, we seem to do everything but

try and take over the world. I must have

time to work on my plan. That sewer is

perfect for the blast.

Listen, Elmira. Pinky and I must

plan to take over the world. We can't

play with you all the time. Um, some of

the time?Whose side are you on?Oh, why,

um, the side of right point

D. You are on my side.

My side. Not the side of the oaf.

Any questions?Just one. If Fred

Flintstone knew the giant order of ribs

was going to tip over his car, why did he

order them every week?I am truly

alone. Go away. We are busy.

Scat I'm not going to tell you again.

Silly, brainy, big head. This will

not go unanswered.

Oh, lovey huggums to you, Mr.

Shellbutt.

Elmira, look at the wall. Oh. Do

you see that light?It's a magic

doorway. It leads to a petting zoo in

another dimension. Run and jump

inside the light. Run right now.

Yeah. I see it. I

see it.

Astounding brain. I still have my little

moments. We shall use that construction

site to conquer the world. Nothing

attracts media attention like a dramatic

sewer rescue. Tomorrow, we shall alert

the media, then engineer a fake rescue

from across the street. We shall then

manipulate sympathetic media coverage,

using it to generate political power. Are

we going to rescue Elmira from the sewer?

Think about what you just said. No,

my friend. I have a much better idea.

Ask me if I'm happy, Pinky. Are you

happy, Brain?Yes.

Time for school, time for fun, time for

turtles. I'm

gonna hug you and squeeze you and love

you forever, Mr. Shellbutt Turtle Face.

Behold, Pinky, I am a little girl.

My name is Patty Ann, and before this day

is out, Patty Ann shall be rescued from a

sewer. She'll be world famous.

I will then deliver a thank you speech so

childish, sentimental, and devoid of

substance, that I'll be elected at once

to high office. Bravo, Brain! That's the

old spirit. No. Come, Pinky, our work

awaits. For some odd reason, I

feel fresh as a spring morning.

Those stalking mice are going to make me

rich, unless I feed them to my snake.

Still, that's two really cool choices.

Wow!

Young lady, class begins in 10 minutes.

Where are your books?I forgot them. Hold

my turtle. I'll be right back. Bye. Drat.

Hide, Pinky. Hey there. My name's

Rudy. Are you staying with Elmira?Want to

go throw some rocks at a dog?It's young

Dr. Jekyll from next door. You must quiet

him down before he attracts attention.

Uh, I'm a little girl. My name is

Patty Ann. I'm Elmira's cousin.

Go away, I'm having a nice tea. You're

cute. I ditched school today. I know

where to get some dynamite. Wanna blow up

a dumpster?You're a peeping Tom. You

should be put in children's prison. Did

you see any mice in Elmira's room?

Talking mice. What a

portly, insane boy you are.

Hi, Rudy Wooty, oh so cutie booty.

Run and steal my Rudy

Wooty. I'll get that cheap huzzy.

I'll be back with your ice cream, Patty

Ann. We must ride out the unexpected and

hope Elmira is gone when we return. By

the way, Brain, are you on a date?Not

that I'm aware of.

Brain has a boyfriend.

Quiet. Stop saying that. You'll pay for

that remark.

Um, did your pocket insult you?It was a

large, icky spider.

Crawling things arouse a girlish fear in

me. Trolls! Wanna go see me eat



has been quite dreamy, but...

I now must throw myself into a sewer in

order to conquer the world. Ohh Count me

in!

Every guy and gal or so they say,

spends together a special day filled with

gushy, kissy kinds of stuff.

Soon they know they're two of a kind.

Kooky, crazy, two of a kind, two of a

kind. We've said it quite enough.

Romance, a chance

to jump in

someone else's

eyes. At last,

the sight is deserted. We'll phone the

media from Elmira's house. Brilliant

brain. Oh, um, didn't we forget something?

Why didn't you remind me to bring a key?

Well, my name isn't Brain, is it?Don't

get peevish, Pinky. This has been a

trying day. You,

Jaboozle. Jezebel. You stole

my man. Your man?He throws rocks

at dogs. He's so cute and round and

fussy-wussy, and you tried to take him.

This is absurd. I'm Patty

Ann Elmira. I live here. We

have dreamy chats about teen heartthrobs.

Patty Ann?Your cousin.

Listen, no one steals my Rudy Wooty.

Yeah. Rudy Wooty came

to school just to see me. My dad said

if I didn't go to school, I'd end up

working for the government. Uh,

where's Patty Ann been lately?Patty

Ann is all tied up.

It was an end title. What?Fred

Flintstone doesn't order ribs every week.

That was only animated once. Then music

and voice tracks were added. The footage

runs at the end of the show in the same

place each time. It's called an end

title. Oh.

Thanks, Brain. Sometimes it's hard to be

a woman.

DNA from the stomach of this amber

preserved prehistoric deer tick and

create a giant race of Tyrannosauruses.

Imagine the sheer tonnage of flank steak

on each of these colossal beasts. We

shall raise them for their meat,

displacing the cattle industry and

allowing me to rise to power and take

over the world. All I

need is $25,000 for a cyber

genetic incubator. Million brain. Oh

no, now wait. What if people don't

like the way dinosaur meat tastes?They

will, Pinky. People will say it tastes

like chicken. Pinky, did you do that?Oh,

no, I almost forgot. It's 307.

Quick, run for cover.

I'm home from school. Where are you,

messy-wassies?

Maybe she won't notice us in here. There

you are. Come out and play, my little

cuddly woopsies.

Elmira, isn't it time to do your homework?

No, it's time to play Mousy Wousy Ballet.

But homework is much more fun, isn't it,

Pinky?No.

Pirouette. Oh, this

isn't so bad, is it, Frank?

Funny, cranky, big-head

mousy. Funny, cranky, big-head

mousy. Pinky, tell

Elmira that homework is fun. Oh, um,

homework is fun, fun, fun.

Homework is fun?

Yes! Okay,

today's homework is spelling. Thank

heavens. Giraffe.

HmmL-J-Q.

Q's are pretty. I'll spell it with lots

of Q's. Q, Q, Q. Ooh,

Elmora's a good speller brain. Idiots

in stereo. I must have hurt a great many

people in a former life. Oh, Bunny

Wunny. I'll spell that one with some W's.

And a five. The word is

rabbit.

R-A-B-B-I-T.

Give me that pencil.

Here, like this. Oh,

Cranky Big Cat Mouse is a real good

speller. I don't know, Brain. I think

Bunny Wunny is spelled with a five.

There. Rabbit. Genus Eryctologus,

species coniculus. Naughty,

waddy, potty talk. Cranky, big head mousy

is gonna get his mouth washed out with

soap. Pinky, help! I would

brain, but I can't reach the sink.

They want you to do what?The teacher said

that I was such a smarty-warty that I

should go to the spelling bee.

Bees are scary. They sting

you. Oh, you silly big-nosed mosey. A

spelling bee is where you spell words and

they give you prizes. There's just one

little problem. You can't spell the

letter A. Well, maybe they won't give her

that word brain. Yeah. Besides, you'll

help me the way you did on my homework.

But wouldn't that be cheating?How can it

be cheating?They want me to get

the words right, and I can't get them

right unless Cranky Big Head Mosey helps

me. But I can't help you when you're

standing in front of the judges by

yourself. No, I'm afraid it's out of the

question. Oh, then I guess I won't

get the $25,000 prize.

$25,000?That's exactly how much

I need for my cyber genetic incubator.

Oh, pretty shiny stone. Give that

back. It's valuable. I'll give you the

money wendy if you help me like a

honey. HmmOn second thought,

there might be a way.

Prestidigitation.

PRESTIDGI

mean. I'm sorry,

that's incorrect.

Myra. Prestidigitation.

Prestidigitation.

PPRREESTTIIDDIIGGITT.

AATTIIOONN.

Presentation. Elmira wins the

district competition and will go on to

the televised finals.

Phew. Thank you, Pinky.

Thank you. Whoopsie.

Oh, that was close. Yes. Fortunately, the

principal didn't disqualify us when you

tried to wash his mouth out with soap. He

had a yucky party mouth. Yes, he

said postulate. Well, no matter. Now

it's on to the finals and $25,000.

Welcome, finalists, to the National

Spelling Bee. When you're finished in

hair and makeup, please walk quickly to

the stage area for the broadcast. Now,

quiz me on the Z's, Pinky. I'm back!

Oh, Myra, what happened to your hair?

I had him give me a fancy-schmancy

updo. Don't I look beautiful,

baby?It's all hot and shiny. But it's

pulled away from your ears. There's

nowhere for me to hide.

I can't spell the words for you. Oh.

I'll have to think of some other way to

signal you. I'm gonna be a

loser. Stop whimpering. I have it.

Don't worry about a thing. We'll be in

the audience having a very loud

conversation. This had better work.

Welcome to the 57th Annual National

Spelling Bee. We'd like to introduce our

celebrity guest judge, TV's lovable big

orange dinosaur, Baloney.

Hiya, everybody! Let's have a

scrummy-umptious gumdrop, a

delicious spelling bee! Excuse

us. Pardon me. Sorry.

So let's begin by giving the first word

to contestant number one. The word

is absurd, a term meaning

ridiculous or incongruous. Absurd.

Um.. Oh. Absurd.

AB. Is you Rd.

ABSCURD.

Absurd. That is correct.

Drain. I'm not a bee and my name's not

Rd. Shh. Quiet, Pinky. Just play

along with whatever I say. I'll have to

ask the audience to please refrain from

talking. I think there might be a little

cheating going on in the audience.

Cheating?Why, that makes me gosh,

old jolly-doodle-gully mad! The

second word for contestant number one is

poppycock, a term meaning rubbish or

nonsense. Poppycock.

Poppycock. P. Oh.

Pee-pee. Y?See?

Oh, see?Okay.

POPPYCOCK. Oh, I

get it. Oh, I

see PP2. OYOY.

Pinky, quiet. Oh, I see

PP2. OYOY.

I'm sorry. That's too many letters

and the numbers. We'll have to call that

a wrong answer. Cheaters.

OOO. Oh,

oh, ohI said that's wrong. You'll have to

stop. I'll get you, you bad, bad,

double dead gum cheaters! Wrong,

Pinky!

Come out, come out, wherever you're

hidey-whiting. I'm gonna getty-witty

you. Oh, no, Brain, he's gonna

getty-witty us. Stop talking like that,

Pinky. Mousy wellsies. You're

mousy wellsies and you are icky poo yucky

face mean old cheaters. My guddly wuddly

mousy wellsies were only trying to help

me. Yeah, we all not icky poo yucky

faces. Yeah, you're a stink face. Am not,

am not. R2, R2! Stink, stink, stink!

Stop! Everyone,

I'll surrender on one condition.

Will you all stop talking so

cutesy?Like a coterie of pre-verbal

neonates. Naughty

potty mouth.

We learned a valuable lesson, Pinky. Yes,

two is not a letter. No, I mean

cheaters never prosper. Oh, that point.

I'll just have to find the money some

other way. It's OK, Cranky Big Head

Mousey. You tried to help me,

so I made you a special present. My

stone?I know how much you like it,

so I made it into a necklace. Of course I

had to scrape out that icky bug.

Well, Pinky, we'll just have to go think

up another plan for tomorrow night. Why,

Cranky Big Head Mousey?What you gonna do

tomorrow night?More Mousey Ballet?

No. The same thing we do every night from

our prime suburban base of operations.

Try to take over the world. The

Pinky, Elmira and the Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain.