07x01 - Bad Manners Bobby

[bunniefuu]

-Hi everyone.

Welcome to "Bobby's World."

I'm Howie, and he's Bobby.

-Hi Howie.

Hey, you want to try something?

-Well, yes.

Yes, I do.

I really, really want
to try something.
-OK.

You wanna run really fast
with mustard on your feet?
-No.

-Do you want to ride a horse
to the top of a mountain
and sing "Happy
Birthday" to a snake?
-No.

-How about putting
sandwich meat in your shirt
and dancing the hula?

-No.

-Then what do you want to try?

-I just want to try
to start the show.
-OK.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Oof!

-Uh, hello?

Bobby?

Get a life.

Don't say excuse me or anything.

-Mom.

Mom, I've got to get to school.

-Well, Bobby sit down
here and eat then.
-Can I go to school now?

-Bobby, don't drum your
fingers on the table.
It's impolite.

-What's the big hurry, shrimp?

-I'm-- I've got to meet--
Miss Wells wants us
to meet some famous
kid, Eddie Kit.
MARTHA: Etiquette?

Oh, Bobby, that's wonderful.

A mom can have no
better dream than have
her kid on the etiquette team.

-Wow, mom knows Eddie Kit.

I told you he was famous.

CAPTAIN SQUASH: Bobby,
Earth needs you.
It's under attack
from an alien enemy.
It happens whenever there's a
need for a big box office hit.
We need you on our roller hockey
team, Eddie Kit's All-Stars.
-Bobby.

Welcome to the team.

You'll be the goalie.

-[GULP].

Goalie?

-This is Red Dickie for
"Sports Universe" at the winner
gets Earth roller hockey game.

The aliens get a breakaway
shot at the goal.
Oh, my.

Bobby Generic makes a save.

Beautiful.

What's this?

The goalie's taking the
puck to the other end.
Why, this is unheard of.

What a smart move.

Captain Squash and
Eddie Kit are helping
him skate past
all the defenders.
-Oof.

Urgh.

ANNOUNCER: Oh, my.

Captain Squash is
written out of the play.
There's only one
defender to get past now.
EDDIE KIT: I beg your pardon.

If it wouldn't be
too inconvenient,
I'm going to check
you into the box.
[GROAN]

Thank you.

ANNOUNCER: Thanks to Eddie
Kit, Bobby's in the clear.
Bobby's moving now,
and Bobby shoots.
It's a goal.

Earth wins.

Eddie Kit's team wins,
ladies and gentlemen.
-Eddie Kit!

Eddie Kit!

Eddie Kit!

Eddie Kit!

Eddie Kit!

KELLY: Hey, Bobby.

It's not Eddy Kit.

It's etiquette.

-What?

-It's not Eddie Kit.

It's not Eddie Kit.

It's not Eddie Kit.

MARTHA: It's not Eddy Kit.

It's etiquette.

Miss Wells is going to introduce
you to the idea of etiquette.
-It's how you act
in public, doofus.
-That doesn't sound
like as much fun
and being on Eddy Kit's team.

-Oh, Bobby.

Where do you come
up with those gems?
Well, let's go, or you'll
be late for school.
NARRATOR [ON TV]: Nicky isn't
very good at apologizing,
because making apologies,
like other kinds of manners,
takes practice.

[LAUGHTER]

Maybe he will learn his
lesson about the importance
of good manners,
or maybe he won't.
It's pretty hard to tell.

TEACHER: Bobby.

-That's my name.

[LAUGHTER]

-Bobby Elvis Generic.

-Uh oh.

Miss Wells is using
all three of my names.
Am I in trouble?

-Hmm, it's bad manners to
disrupt the movie, Bobby.
But you did give me an idea.

-I did?

-Mhm.

Your assignment will
be for each of you
to come up with a way of showing
why manners are important.
And the best one wins an ice
cream bar of their choice.
[CHEERS]

CLASS: Oooh.

-Double fudge mocha bar.

Boy, a double fudge mocha bar.

This will be easy.

A couple of pleases
and thank yous,
cutting back on picking my nose.

-But Bobby, it's
not just doing it.
You have to show it.

How you gonna do that?

You wanna work together?

We could make a movie
like we saw in class.
-But in color.

My dad's got a camcorder.

-Great, Bobby.

But it's not a movie
if it's on video tape.
It's a video.

-No, it's a double
fudge mocha bar.
HOWARD: Honey, kids, I've
got an exciting announcement.
-Dad?

-We're all going to
the NAPTE convention.
-Cool.

-Epic.

-Dad?

-Oh, Howard--
BOBBY: Dad?
-NAPTE?

-Dad!?

-The National
Association of Pants
and Tailoring
Experts convention.
Oh, go on with you now.

Did you win?

-Yep.

You're looking at the
winner of the pants
purveyor of the year award.

Huh?

-I'm making a video for
school, about bad manners.
-Bobby, hey now.

Put a sock in it.

You interrupted your
father Now what do you say?
-Please.

-Oh-- no.

No, that's wrong.

You say, I'm sorry.

-Why do parents love
to ask questions
when they already
know the answer.
-The Dorsal Country
Club-- nine holes
of golf on their championship
course, followed by a banquet.
-Oh, well for the cry
eye, the Dorsal Country
Club is pretty exclusivo,
don't you know.
Kids, you're going to
have to mind your manners.
-Mine my manners?

UNCLE TED: Wee Bobby, hand
me that please, please?
-Uncle Ted, did ye mind your
manners when ye were my age.
--[CHUCKLE] It's not mine
your manners, Bobby.
It's mind your manners.

BOBBY: Uncle Ted.

-Heh-hey Bobbo.

What time is it?

-Time for noogies.

UNCLE TED: Hey, Howard.

Uh, ahem.

If I'm going to team up with
you for the golf tournament,
I'll need to borrow
your old set of clubs.
-Sometimes I wonder
if you own anything.
MARTHA: Ted, Bobby's
making a video
about why manners are important.

You know, P's and Q's.

-I want to win the
double fudge mocha bar.
-Well, then I'm your man.

You caddy for me tomorrow,
and I'll help you
with your movie-- like an agent.

I'll be your manners agent.

Heh, heh.

Deal?

Say, show me the mocha.

-Show me the mocha.

-No, no.

Come on.

Put some feeling into it.

Shout it out, Bobbo.

Show me the mocha!

-Show me the mocha.

-I think he's got it.

MARTHA: Now Ted, I want
you to know something here.
This is Howard's big day.

So you and the kids be
on your best behavior.
People at country clubs know
the meaning of good manners,
don't you know.

-They do?

Where's the camera?

I can just taste that mocha bar.

Show me the mocha.

Show me the mocha.

OK, double fudge mocha
bar, here I come.
I got the video camera.

I got video tape.

And I forgetting
anything, Roger?
Oh yeah, the lens cap.

[DOG BARKS]

Let's see.

This can't be hard
if dad can do it.
Come on, Roger.

Let's ask Kelly about manners.

[SOUND OF WATER RUNNING]

Kelly, are manners important?

-What?

Bobby.

Get out, you little creep.

Don't march into the bathroom
when the door is closed.
Turn that thing off.

Mother!

-Get out of my room,
you little dweeb.
BOBBY: Dad, do you know
why manners are important?
-Bobby, my camcorder.

I told you never to touch
anything without asking first.
-Oh, for-- oh, you know, Howard.

Let Bobby use it.

-Martha, it is brand new.

-There you go then now yet.

It's still under warranty.

Well, I just think it's
so cheek-pinching cute
he wants to make a movie
like little Stevie Spielberg.
-Cute always works on mom.

-Well, you just run along
now and have some fun, hon.
But don't go too far.

We're leaving for the
country club soon.
-Way to go, Bobby.

You got the camera.

My folks won't let me near ours.

How'd you do it, Bobby?

-I owe it all to little Stevie
Spielberg, whoever that is.
-Oh, what an imagination.

I just love that
about you. [SMOOCH]
-Yuck.

What kind of movie
are we making?
-Well,hey-- hey, you
kids now, head it up.
Time to go to the
country club, Bobby.
You can see Jackie
in a whilesie.
-Mom says they know about good
manners at the country club.
-Perfect.

You tape a lot of people
with good manners.
Then when you get back,
I'll copy the best
stuff off onto another tape, OK?

-Show me the mocha.

-Aw, pick a lane.

Pick a lane!

If you can make up
your mind, then why
don't you just pick your nose!

-Oh, Howard.

Stop setting a bad
example for the kids.
-It's-- it's Bobby
and that camera.
It's-- it-- it's distracting.

-Now-- now, Bobby, honey.

Don't bother your father when
he's behind the wheel of a car.
Oh, for e-- t-- no.

No, I'm not a-- sit back
in the seat now there.
Shoo.

sh**t out the window.

Go.

-Hey, what took you so long?

Hey, we've got to tee off.

-I think dad already did.

BOBBY: Uncle Ted,
your caddy's here.
Your caddy's here.

What's a caddy?

-He's the most important
guy on the golf course.
He carries the clubs.

-But I don't know
anything about golf.
-Well, only one way to
learn golf etiquette.
Pick up the clubs, and
take it one step at a time.
-Ahh!

I guess adults
forget to tell you
that that first step's a doozy.

-OK, that's a squish.

Huh.

We better rent a golf cart.

OK, who goes first?

-You're our guests.

You should go first.

Guests have honors.

-Ooh-hoo.

Absolutamente.

Guests go first.

Grip it and rip it.

-Pearls before swine.

-Boy, they do have good
manners, Uncle Ted.
HOWARD: Shh.

Bobby.

You're supposed to whisper
when somebody's going to swing.
-Bobby, remember, golf
is a w*r between you
and the golf course.

Let the battle begin.

-A battle?

-It isn't right, Bobby.

Those ill-mannered aliens
didn't keep their word.
They're back.

And this time,
it's a winner gets
Earth battle on the golf course.

-A golf w*r, so to speak.

CAPTAIN SQUASH: Shh.

We need you on our team-- the
Eddie Kit All-Star golf team.
-It would be my honor
to have you join us
in rearranging some
alien thought patterns.
-This is Red Dickie.

-Shh.

-[HUSHED] For "Sports
Universe" at the Burger Planet
winner gets Earth
golf tournament.
We're into a rare sudden death.

First one to get their golf
ball into the cup wins.
The alien gets off
a terrific shot.
Oh my, that was close.

The aliens almost got
Earth on that shot.
Desert Rat Bobby is
sighting up his shot.
Oh my, the aliens are cheating.

They're laying down
a smoke screen.
It's an impossible shot.

-What are they going to
do, Desert Rat Bobby?
-I'll guide it.

ANNOUNCER: This is unheard of,
guiding a golf ball mid-flight.
-Ahh!

ANNOUNCER: Oh my, what a shot.

It's headed straight
for the cup.
A hole in one-- Earth wins!

CROWD: Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.

UNCLE TED: Bobby, shush.

You're supposed to whisper
when someone is going to swing.
-Drat.

Bobby.

-Oh, bummer.

-He didn't keep his head down.

-Definite mulligan.

-Bobbo, a good caddy's
always supposed
to remember where the ball went.

-Sorry, Uncle Ted.

I don't get it.

How do you score in this game?

-Oh, it's easy, Bobbo.

You just count the
number of strokes.
Now, I'm going for a birdie,
but if I hit too many strokes,
I'll pick up a bogie.

-Yuck.

Mom says you should
never pick up a bogie.
DEREK: Pfft.

Nobody's picking
their nose, doofus.
It's golf talk.

-Drat.

-Shh.

You're supposed to whisper
when someone's going to swing.
HOWARD: I guess I'm off my game.

UNCLE TED: Yeah, well, we
only lost by 40 strokes,
so that's improvement.

HOWARD: Did we
play the same game?
-I got great manners
stuff for my tape.
-Just stop there-- cut.

Wrap, whatever.

And put that thing
away while we eat.
-OK.

Look at all the ba*ls I found.

MARTHA: Bobby, your
hands are filthy.
Always wash your
hands before you eat,
and get those filthy
ba*ls off the table.
[ROAR OF TV SHOW]

[STATIC]

-I need that.

-Bobby, it's not polite to grab
things out of someone's hand.
You ask.

-Sorry.

I just wanted to see what
my manners movie looks like.
-You know, when I was a boy, we
didn't have a remote control.
I had to the walk all the
way across the room just
to change the channel.

[LAUGHTER]

KELLY: Whoa, this is down.

DEREK: Nice camera work.

[LAUGHTER]

-Gadzooks.

The camera recorded
all the wrong stuff.
I'll never get my mocha bar.

MARTHA: Well, my
little filmmaker
needs to chow down
and eat 'em up.
-I'm not hungry.

-What is it, little mansy?

-It's my manners movie.

It's nothing but a bunch
of pictures of floors
and ceilings and feet,
and a bunch of talking.
-Oh, no.

You worked so hard.

You know what to do when things
don't go right, don't ya?
-No.

That's why I'm in trouble.

-Well, let's see.

Life is like a kitchen
with leftovers, you know.
You gotta turn lemons into
lemonade and runny fudge
into frosting.

-I think I'll ask dad.

-Oh.

Well, uh-- err-- you, uh-- you,
uh, learn more from things--
you learn more things from your
failures than your successes.
-My advice-- lay low
until it all blows over.
-Go shopping, and accessorize.

--[LAUGHS] Well, you
know, Bobby dear,
there's a reason for everything.

-I wish I could
find that reason.
-Hey, Bobbo.

I know what you could use.

-A double fudge mocha bar?

UNCLE TED: A noogie.

[GIGGLE]

-Ted.

Oh, what a surprise.

You're just in
time for breakfast.
-h* h*!

Talk about luck.

-I wish I had luck.

-What's the matter, Bobbo?

Having trouble with
your manners movie?
-Yeah.

I don't suppose you have
any idea what I should do.
-Only one thing to do.

-This I've got to hear.

-Well, what you do
is, you gotta get
your family to help
you make a new one.
You know, everybody could show
you examples of good manners
and so forth.

If we all work, hey,
it would be fun, huh?
-That's actually
a brilliant idea.
-Pfft.

Ahem.

It is?

What?

What did I say?

What?

-Well, we could help
Bobby make a new tape.
I always wanted to
be in the show biz.
-Would you, please?

-Come on, let's do it.

What do you say?

[EXCITED CHATTER]

-See, Bobby, please and thank
you are the magic words.
-Magic words.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

-Thank you, thank you.

Danke schoen.

And now my partner
in magic, Bobby,
will make an animal disappear.

CROWD: Ooh.

-Roger, disappear.

CROWD: Ohh.

-Oopsies, Bobby.

You forgot to say please.

-Roger, disappear please.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

-Thank you.

Thank you.

-OK, Bobby.

Enough, enough, enough.

Here's the camera.

You're the director.

Let's get started.

-Ahem, ahem.

Gimme gimme never gets.

Please and thank you
gets the-- fff--zzz-- um.
-Kelly, would you pass
the ketchup, please?
-Of course, Uncle Ted,
since you asked so politely.
Uh.

Oh, I'm sorry, Uncle Ted.

-No, no.

It was my fault.

Don't worry about it.

-Gimme gimme never gets.

Please and thank you
also gets the-- aahh.
-[BURP] Excuse me.

[LAUGHTER]

UNCLE TED: You could
almost see that one.
-Gimme gimme never
bets. [LAUGHS] Oh,
well, no, that can't be right.

-Oh, I see someone signaling
to get into my lane.
I'll just slow down.

Ted, get out of there!

[HONK]

Get--move! [HONK]

-Whoa, sorry.

Here I go.

[LAUGHTER]

-Aunt Ruth, take 12.

-Ooh, ooh, Gimme
gimme never gets.
Please and thank
you are best bets.
[LAUGHS]

UNCLE TED: What
do you say, Bobby?
-Show me the mocha.

[LAUGHTER]

MARTHA: Oh, yeah, great.

Oh, super.

-Oh, come on Roger.

I'm tired.

Let's go to bed.

-I came for Bobby's video tape.

I'm going to copy the
best parts on a new tape
to show the class.

-Bobby, Jackie's here to
edit the tape we made.
BOBBY: On the table.

-Got it.

-And when you
reach over and grab
a handful of mashed potatoes
and gravy that moments before
was sitting on your best
friend's plate, the you better
ask yourself, are
manners important?
[WEAK APPLAUSE]

-h*, h*.

Tough crowd.

-Show me the mocha.

Show me the mocha.

-Thank you, Rodney.

And now it's time for our
final project demonstrating
the importance of
manners, a videotape
made by Bobby and Jackie.

[LAUGHTER]

-It's the wrong video.

Where did you get this tape?

-It was on the table
in the red box.
-Red box?

You were supposed to take
the one in the blue box.
[LAUGHTER]

MARTHA [ON TV]: Bobby,
don't pick your nose.
KELLY [ON TV]: [SQUEAL]
Don't barge into the bathroom
when the door's closed.

DEREK [ON TV]: You're
supposed to knock.
MARTHA [ON TV]: Don't
bother your father
when he's behind
the wheel of a car.
HOWARD [ON TV]:
I told you, never
touch anything
without asking first.
UNCLE TED [ON TV]:
Always whisper
when someone's about to swing.

RUTH [ON TV]: Ooh, ooh.

Gimme gimme never gets.

Please and thank
you are best bets.
[LAUGHTER AND JEERS]

-It's wrong.

It's all wrong.

-You're right, Bobby.

-I was right?

-No, wrong.

-But that's bad.

-No, that's good.

-What I did was good?

-No, bad.

-Are you as confused as I am?

-It's simple, Bobby.

Your videotape demonstrated
every conceivable use
of bad manners, showing us why
good manners are important.
-I did?

I mean, I did.

-You both did.

Jackie did a marvelous job of
selecting the best of the video
you took, and that's
why I'm declaring you
both the winners of the contest.

[BELL RINGS]

-Mmm.

-Bobby, didn't you learn
anything about manners?
-Oh, yeah.

I mean, yes, I did.

-So why are you whispering?

-That's what I
learned-- to be quiet
when someone is going to swing.

[SLURP] Show me
the mocha. [GIGGLE]
Well, that's our show.

So I just want to say
thank you for watching.
Do you have anything
to say, Howie?
-[MUFFLED] Mmm.

Da knn-- mhm.

-Oh, please.

-[MUFFLED] I knnt.

-I said please.

-OK.

Bye.

-Don't you have any manners?

You should never talk
with food in your mouth.
-[MUFFLED] Mht hmghgmh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]