05x07 - Generics Under Construction

[bunniefuu]

-Hi.

I-- Come on, Bobby, hurry,
we've got to started the show,
where have you been?

And what's that on your knee?

-I just came from Alabama, and
this is a banjo on my knee.
-Well, who's this?

-Oh, this is Susanna.

-Why is she crying?

-For me.

Oh, Susanna, don't
you cry for me.
I just came from Alabama
with this banjo on my knee.
-I-- I don't get it.

Start the show.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Children!

Children.

Now, settle down now.

Yes, let's settle down now.

Very good.

Now, I want to thank
you all for bringing
in such wonderful souvenirs
from the greatest adventure
you've ever had
with your family.
Now, Tommy, you went to a
real live Indian reservation.
And Cheryl, your
family went to NASA,
and you got to go
into a space shuttle.
-And I got a picture of
my family in the bathroom.
-Bobby, I'm sorry,
but I don't understand
what a picture in a
bathroom has to do
with your greatest adventure.

-Well, Mrs. Orso,
it all started when
Dad called a family meeting.

-Bobby, Derek, Kelly,
family meeting!
-Yay, a family meeting!

What are we meeting about, Dad?

Well

-Your mom and I have
a very important
announcement to make, son.

-Uh oh.

The last time Dad had an
important announcement to make,
he told us Mom was peppermint,
and then she had twins.
-I cannot believe this!

Mom's gonna have another baby?

Like, somebody tell
me this is a joke.
-Mom's pregnant?

-Oh, no!

-Not again!

-No!

No!

-Wait, wait, everybody
just calm down.
All I'm trying to
say is that there's
going to be a new addition.

-Hold it, hold it right there.

Everybody keep your trousers
on frontwards, now, here.
All's your Dad's
trying to tell you
is that we're adding
onto the house.
We're building a
new master bedroom.
-Rightio.

-And we're going to let you
have our old room, Kelly.
-Whoa, that is, like, so cool.

-Then, Derek will move
into Kelly's old room
and Bobby will get Derek's
room for musical chair's sakes.
-I get your room!

Oh boy!

This is great!

-Get a clue, dweeb.

Both our rooms are
exactly the same.
-That shows how much you know.

They are not the same.

-They are, too.

-Are not.

-Are too.

-Are not.

Your room has a shelf.

-What kind of dweeb
brain would get
all worked up over shelf space?

-Shelf space?

-Shelf space, the
final frontier.
These are the voyages of
the Starship Freeprize.
-We are approaching our target.

-We're going in, and we're
not coming out till we get it.
-Got it.

-Good.

-This is Bobby of
Starship Freeprize.
I have come to take possession
of what is rightfully mine.
-I told you, worm brain, you
can't move in until I move out.
-I am here for my shelf space.

-Who'll never get it.

-Oh yeah.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Watch this.

Gentlemen, we have
achieved shelf space.
Transporter room,
prepare to beam Captain
Squash and Webbly
to their new home.
-Prosper and--

-Talk about your
long shelf life.
Wait till you see what I found.

A can of anchovies
I bought when I
was in college, the first time.

Oh, that's a hug.

Sorry to bust in
here like this, sis,
but I gotta hole up
here for a while.
My place is being
fumigated again.
-Oh, ah, jeez, Ted, this
is kind of a bad time
for a drop on visit,
don't you know.
See--

-Uncle Ted, Uncle Ted,
I'm gonna get a new shelf.
-Hey, there's only
one way to celebrate
news like that, Bobbo.

Noogies.

-Ted, as I was saying, we're
about to remodel and right
after that a famous
photographer is coming
to take our gee golly
family portrait is all.
-Ah, don't worry
about a thing, sis.
You won't even know I'm here.

-Well, for crying out load.

-Sorry.

[DOORBELL]

-I'll get it.

I'll get it.

-Hello, little man, I'm Meeker.

-And I'm Snerd,
and together we're
M&S Contractors at your service.

-You're early.

-Well, that's true, and
there's a reason for that.
We didn't get lost.

-Good one.

-Thank you.

-And we found a
place to park our
oversized masculine vehicle.

-Oh, for cutworms
in the crab grass.
-Be that as it may,
our motto, the sooner
we take a hammer to your walls--

-The sooner we get paid.

-Say, do you happen to
have a hammer on ya?
-Look what I found, a hammer.

It's hammer time and it's
our favorite part of the job.
-We'll even let you help.

-Yippee!

-Bobby, no!

-Oh, am I in trouble?

-Well, I must admit,
Bobby, this story of yours
has us all on the edge
of our seats, dear.
Do go on.

-Well, Mrs. Orso, after I finish
getting in trouble for punching
a hole in the wall, things in
our house got really exciting.
-Boy, that was a good one.

-You move 16 tons
and what do you get?
-Another day older.

Put your back into it.

-Use your utensils.

-Remember, g*ng, remodeling
is a long process
and we have to stick together.

-What?

Who's gonna be sick forever?

-He said this meat's
as tough as leather.
-I got a call from Heather?

Like, why didn't
somebody tell me?
This family is so lame.

-Speaking of
frames, Howard, I've
been thinking, for
the family portrait,
how bout a nice big gold one?

-Sure, I'll have a
nice big cold one.
-Mr. Inkwell's the best gee
golly photographers there is.
We're gonna need a frame
that'll do his work justice,
don't ya know?

-Ah, don't you
worry, Martha, it's
way too early for the snow.

-I don't wanna go to a show.

I wanna go play in my new room.

-Bobby, you can't
go to your new room.
It's still Derek's room.

-Well, if I can't go to my
new room, can I go outside?
-No, that a big
N-O. It's raining.
-Dad, can I please go outside?

-Bobby, you heard your mother.

It's raining outside.

-Are you sure I
can't go outside?
-That's it.

Go to your room!

-Dad, if you're gonna
send me to my room,
can you send me to my new room?

-Upstairs, right now, young man!

-Yay!

-And stay out of Derek's room!

-Phooey.

-Bobby, why aren't
you in your room?
-'Cuz it's raining in my room.

-What?

-See?

I told him it was raining.

-Oh, well, that
tear's it Howard.
We're living outside
like-- like-- like savages
in the rain.

-Living outside like savages?

-For corn-sakes, Bobby, be
sure to rub some more mud
on your hair before you
go outside or the rain
is going to soak
right through it.
-Toss a little of that
mud in the soup, Bobbo.
When your say savage, you
can't get too much mud.
Hey, here's mud in your eye.

My eye.

Come here, Bobbo.

-Oh, somebody put
the brakes on here.
This is a grade A disaster.

The contractors knocked
down the wrong wall.
Howard, do something.

Mr. Inkwell is coming
to take our family
portrait in less than two weeks.

What in the polyester
picking world am I gonna do?
-I know what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna go to my
new room and I'm
gonna put Webbly
on my new shelf.
-No way!

It's still my room
and no dweebs allowed.
-You expect me and Webbly
to sleep in the rain?
-Martha-- Bobby, you gotta sleep
in the family room tonight.
-Yes!

Yes!

I get to sleep in
the family room!
-Bobby, what's the
big deal-o-rama
about sleeping down there?

-It's gonna be great.

There's gonna be TV to
watch, video games to play,
and stuff to eat
from the frigerator.
Mom, can I watch TV?

-No.

-Can I play video games?

-No.

-Can I get something to eat?

-No.

-This is fun.

I can't believe I
don't get to play
with any of these neat things.

-Hey, Bobby, take a look at me.

-I can't.

I'm supposed to go to bed.

-Hey, Bobby, you hungry?

I got real cheese in here, boy.

-I can't.

I'm supposed to go to bed.

-I've got a princess here
that could use some saving.
-I can't.

I'm supposed to go to bed.

-I can't.

I'm supposed to go to bed.

-Hey, what do you say we
sing that annoying song?
-What song?

I don't know any song.

-Ah, come on, Ted, sure you do.

You know, the taunting song.

-Na na na na na.

-Bobby, wake up.

Wake up.

Wake up, son.

You're having a nightmare.

-I didn't need him
to tell me that.
-Jiminy grasshoppers,
what's that?
-Well, what in the world
was that noise, Bobby?
-You'll never guess,
Mrs. Orso, just
wait till you hear
what happened next.
So, like I was
saying, what happened
next was really exciting.

Are we having a fire drill?

-Howard, where in the
sam hills of Wisconsin
is that racket coming from?

-I think it's coming
from Bobby's room.
Maybe it's coming
from our new bedroom.
-I know, downstairs.

-Stop!

What are you guys doing?

This room wasn't in
the remodeling plans.
-He's right.

-Right is right.

-Can't argue with right 'cuz
there's nothing left, right?
-You're right.

-Sorry, Mr. Generic.

-That's Generic.

-Ew, rwar.

Scratching post, kitty?

-Saucer of milk?

-Oh, whoopsie,
Howard, let me help
you put a band-a-- you
know, something on there.
-I'm telling ya-- I'm
telling ya, Martha.
I don't know how much
more of this I can take.
-No cause for upset now.

No, no, no.

-Ta-da, we've get good news.

-It better be the best gee
golly news we've ever heard!
-Well, now, I think you'll
be pretty happy to know that
we'll be finished
no later than five--
-Six.

-Maybe six weeks from Tuesday.

-Mr. Inkwell's coming to
take our family portrait
one week from gee golly Tuesday.

Do something, Howard.

-Mom.

Mommy, when do I get my
new room with the shelf?
-Oh, for guard-sake,
Bobby, put a sock in it!
-I think I'll give
that shelf thing
a break for a little while.

-Hey, look it, lady,
this is no cake
walk down the garden
path for us either.
-Yeah, what he said,
because as I recall,
Mrs. generic, you
and the Mister did
say we could have three-- count
them, months to do the job.
-I was there.

-I know we said that, but
that was six months ago.
We're never going to be ready
in time for Mr. Inkwell,
and it's too late to get our
cotton picking money back!
-Don't worry, Mom,
everything's gonna be OK.
We'll get finished in time.

I'll help.

-Is that true, Bobby?

You really did help?

-Yep, I really did, and
that's the best part
of the story, the
part where I helped.
-Meeker?

-Standing next to ya.

-Would you be a dear and pass me
that 12 volt high torque speed
reversible-- what
do you call it?
-Would you be prefacing
the one with the self
locking quarter inch
titanium hoohah?
-You read my mind.

-That's my job.

-Thank you.

-Can I have a hammer?

-Nope, negatory
on that, Roberto.
If you're not a professional
hardhat like us, having a tool
can be a very dangerous thing.

-I won't get in trouble.

This time Dad said I could help.

Can I have a hammer, please?

-No can do, pumpkin head.

-If I just had a hammer.

-Now, that's what I
call a job well done.
A real plaza of resistance.

Your finest hour.

-No, Snerd.

Our finest hour.

-I can see myself now.

We can open the door and go tell
Mom and Dad that we're done.
-Oh, that's a stomach turn.

Those souvenir anchovies must
have gone a little green on me.
-Well, we have news.

-Good news and bad news.

[DOORBELL]

-I'll get it.

-Look at me.

Hi.

As of this very moment in
time, thanks to Bobby's help,
we are way ahead of schedule.

-Which should save
you some money.
-Should, but it won't.

-No.

-What then is the bad news?

-Meeker split an
anchovy sandwich
with your brother, Ted.

-Oh, paddles, clear.

-Hey, Mom, look who's here.

Mr. Inkwell.

-Not Mr. Inkwell.

Well, if this isn't the gee
golly honor of the century?
We're the Generics.

-How very brave of
you to admit that.
-I'm-- I'm Howard, and this
is Ted, my brother-in-law,
and Meeker, one of
our contractors.
-Oh, my stomach.

-And Snerd.

-Hola.

-Mom, Kelly's wearing
my stuff again.
-And this is Kelly, our
daughter, and Derek.
Son, meet Mr. Inkwell.

-Hi.

-You people are the
toxic waste of fashion.
My goodness, go.

Go.

Repair yourselves,
and when you return,
try to resemble
something vaguely human.
-Oh, what color am I?

-I'm sorry.

Heads up.

OK, watch you back, Inky.

-I cannot work under
these conditions!
I need a clean room where I can
have absolute peace and quiet.
-I know where one is.

Come with me.

-Oh, we have magic here.

-I had a dream.

It was something totally
different than the reality.
-Work with me, people.

Everyone say, we'll of Brie.

-Wheel of Brie.

-Oh, that was a
wonderful story, Bobby.
But tell us did you ever get
your new room with the shelf?
-Well, Mrs. Orso,
the good news was
I got my new room
with the shelf right
after we had the picture taken.

But the bad news
was that I still
had sawdust in my underpants
for a long time after that.
-Bobby, Mom made popcorn and
we're all gonna watch videos.
Wanna come down?

-No, thanks, Dad.

I just wanna be by my shelf.

-Boy, that was
really a great show.
Not only that you got a new
room, you got a new shelf,
and you had great
share day story.
-I know.

After this show, I feel
happy and lucky and proud.
-So then why is
Susanna still crying?
-She has an infection
on her elbow.
-Ew.

[THEME MUSIC]