03x09 - Bobby Phone Home

[bunniefuu]

-Hi, welcome to Bobby's World.

Oh, boy, do we have a
great show for you today.
-He's right.

-I'm really excited about it.

I think you're
going to enjoy it.
-He's right.

-It's a story filled
with fun and adventure.
-He's right.

We have to start the show now.

-He's right.

[THEME SONG]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Uh oh.

A runaway train and a rock
slide that's blocking the track.
Looks like a job
for Captain Squash!
Stop.

[GROANING]

-[SINGING] When
he makes a rescue,
you'll hear everyone
say, oh my gosh,
it's Captain Squash
here to save the day!
-Hi-yah, boys and girls.

-Hi-yah!

-Hey, it's good
to see you again.
It's me, Karate Kaplan, host
of the Captain Squash Show.
Boy, I'm really excited today
because Captain Squash has
asked me to announce
the great Captain
Squash Adventure Contest!

[CROWD CHEERING ON TELEVISION]

-Contest?

-Hey, each week
you watch Captain
Squash in a new adventure.

Now he wants to hear
about your adventures!
And let me tell you something.

If you're a finalist, you get to
appear right here on the show.
And if you're the
big winner, you'll
win a brand new-- sing
it with me-- [SINGING]
official Captain Squash bicycle!

-A Captain Squash bicycle?

Wow!

MARTHA: Let's go now!

Oh, Jiminy's sake's,
Kelly, the longer you take,
the harder it's
going to be to find
a parking place at the mall.

-Mom, Kelly, the mall--
that's an adventure.
-Derek, come on, son.

We're going to the barber shop.

DEREK: No way!

[DOOR SLAMMING]

-Going to the barber
shop with Derek--
that's an adventure for Dad.

-Huh, well, sorry
I'm late, but I
had to pick up the
new TV book, you know.
You guys can go run
your errands now.
-Yeah, Uncle Ted baby-sitting
can be an adventure.
-Ted, don't be a sofa
spud on such a lovely day.
Get outside and smell up
some of this fresh air.
TED: Yep, your mom was
right-- shouldn't waste a day
like today sitting
inside watching TV.
Besides, the reception's
much better out here anyway.
[SIGHING]

-Can we go on
adventure, Uncle Ted,
so I can win a
Captain Squash bike?
-Uh, yeah.

Let's go inside and
pour some melted peanut
butter over ice cream.

Ooh.

-OK.

-Uh-huh.

Yah.

[CRYING]

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

[GROANING]

-What's wrong, Nafoodjia?

[CRYING]

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-What's the problem?

-Our housekeeper's sad,
and there's a wedding
and she doesn't have
any way to get there.
-Is that all?

I'll give her a
ride to the wedding.
-Uncle Ted will take you.

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

[SCREAMING]

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-I know, I know.

Yeah, yeah.

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

-Hey!

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-She said, when are we going?

-Well, as soon as I leave
a note for your folks.
"Giving Nafoodjia a ride.

Be right back.

Ted."

We'll probably be back
before they are anyway,
but it's always good
to leave a note just
to be on the safe side.

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

BOBBY: Nafoodjia wants to drive
because she knows where it is.
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-Sure, let's hit the road.

-[SINGING] When
he makes a rescue,
you'll hear everyone
say, oh, my gosh.
It's Captain Squash
here to save the day!
-Time for car bingo.

-There's a road sign, Uncle Ted.

I get a square.

-Las Vegas?

200 miles?

No!

Pull-- pull over!

Stop the car, Nafoodjia!

We can't go to a
wedding in Las Vegas!
[CRYING]

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-Bobby, what--
what's she saying?
-Nafoodjia said
it's her wedding.
-Uh oh.

Now that's a problem.

-Yeah, problem.

-Hi pal, can we use your phone?

-Nope.

It's busted.

-Oops.

Oh, that's a break.

How about some gas?

-Nope.

Pump's busted, too.

-I don't think I'll even
ask about the bathroom.
Uh, where are we
going, Uncle Ted?
-We've got to find a telephone!

My note said we'd be right back.

If we don't call, your
mom will be worried sick.
-Worried sick?

[GROANING]

-Where's Bobby?

Where's Bobby?

-This is the worst case of
worried sick I've ever seen.
-Yep, better call before
she hits the ceiling.
You know how moms
get all bent out
of shape over stuff like this.

-Where my Bobby?

Where are my feet?

-I can't find anything.

I don't know where we're
going to find a phone.
There's probably not a person
around for a million miles.
It's just a desert full of
lizards and poison snakes.
-Wow!

Wait until Captain Squash hears
about this great adventure!
-There must be a phone
around here somewhere.
I just hope your mom
isn't too worried.
-Now don't you fret, ma'am.

We're the best in the business.

-Amen to that.

None better.

Why, we could find
a-- what do you call?
A needle in a haystack?

-Yeah, and we need one of
them-- what you do call?
-I don't know.

Prescription?

-It's like that, but--

-D-d-description.

-That's it.

-That's it.

You know, height, weight, uh--

-Male, female.

-That sort of minor thing.

-Have you considered
the possibility
of alien space intruders
abducting Bobby?
-Oh, for gosh sakes,
Ruth, come on.
-Uh, he's-- he's--
he's three feet tall
and-- and his
weight's 35 pounds.
-Sounds like an
alien, all right.
-Uh-huh.

Fits the description to an L.

-T.

-T.

-I'm talking about Bobby.

-I'll call it in.

All right if I use the phone?

-You know, around the office
we call the phone the horn.
It's your military jargon.

-Right.

-Go ahead.

[BEEPING]

-Oh, great, the line's busy.

Hey!

My quarter!

Another quarter, Bobby.

-All out.

-Hey, Nafoodjia, over here!

-Yeah!

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

[SCREAMING]

-That's a mess.

BOBBY: What are we looking
for now, Uncle Ted?
-Some sign of civilization.

-Kind of civilization?

-Yeah, yeah.

You know, people,
houses, stuff like that.
Some place that
they'd have a phone.
Keep your eyes
peeled, Bob-O. Let
me know if you see anything,
and I mean anything.
-I see something, Uncle Ted.

-Whoa, whoa.

Well, that's a shocker!

-Now this is what I
call an adventure.
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-OK, OK.

Come on, calm down.

Calm down.

Don't get your shorts all
twisted here, Nafoodjia.
Relax now.

Go on!

Uh, get along, doggies.

Uh, moo-- move it.

Go!

[SCREAMING]

-Nafoodjia.

Nafoodjia, the doggies are
going to stampede here now.
Just watch out.

We don't want a stampeded.

[SCREAMING]

[GASPING]

-A stampede?

-You sent for me, Bobby?

-Yep, Captain Squash.

We have to save Uncle Ned and
Nafoodjia from the stampede.
-A stampede, you say?

It's a good thing
you called, Bobby.
That sounds like a job
for Captain Squash.
-Whoa, stop, y'all.

-How many times do
I have to say this?
No running in the road.

We're very disappointed
in you, cows.
-Yep.

Very disappointed.

-Well, you poked me in the rump.

-You slowed down.

-Thanks for helping me save
Uncle Ted, Captain Squash.
-No problem, Bobby.

Whenever there's trouble,
you can call on me.
TED: But first we've
got to find a phone.
If we don't get in touch
with your folks real soon,
we're going to be in
real trouble, Bob-O.
[CRYING]

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-Giddy-up.

Giddy-up.

Giddy-up.

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-Oh, for gosh sakes, Nafoodjia,
cut me some slack here.
[CRYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-This is a weird kind of mall.

Boy, I guess truck drivers
need to phone home a lot.
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-There will probably be a
phone free in a minute, Bob-O.
Let's go check
out the gift shop.
-Are we going to buy Nafoodjia
a present for her wedding?
-Ooh, good idea, Bob-O.
Uh, excuse me, madam.
I need a very
special wedding gift.
Do you have socks in a can?

[LAUGHING]

-This time of the year?

That's more of a seasonal item.

-Talk about a brainteaser.

Do I wait here for a phone or
do I try for one up the road?
-Thanks for the
crayons, Uncle Ted.
I'm going to draw a picture
about my great adventure.
CAPTAIN SQUASH: What
is our mission, Bobby?
-We've got to find a
telephone and call my mommy.
-A-OK.

This is the kind of adventure
that wins bikes, Bobby.
Hang on, everybody!

-Oh!

Oh, now that's a stain.

-Uncle Ted, look!

Look!

An empty phone.

-Finally.

Hey, I was here first, buddy.

-Keep your pants on.

I'll only be a minute.

Hello, darling?

It's your bunny.

I-- I-- I called
to say I was sorry.
Well, don't blame
me all the time!
Can't you see I'm
hurting inside?
Why's it always my fault?

My fault!

My fault!

My fault!

-Your mommy's going
to be mad at you.
-Howard, do you know anything
about telepathic communication?
-You mean like ESP?

-Mothers have strange
powers in times like this.
I just had a scary
vision of our youngest
in some strange place-- bright
lights and lasers flashing all
around him, surrounded
by strange people.
What could this mean?

BOBBY: Wow!

Better get this all on paper.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING]

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

-I tell you--
Nafoodjia-- she appear.
You-- you, thanks.

I do good for you?

-Well, yeah.

Well, I've got to
get back home right
away so could you make
a phone call for me?
-Oh, sure.

-Mr. and Mrs. Generic?

-Gen-er-ic.

-Generic.

After a long day of searching
out dead end hunches--
-Every one of them flat liners.

-I think we have to
concentrate on reality.
-A UFO abduction.

-That's what it looks like.

[GASPING]

[YELLING]

[PHONE RINGING]

-Hello?

What?

I can't understand you.

What did you just-- Bobby?

[GASPING]

Did you say Bobby?

-The Bobby come home.

Yah.

Ted--

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

Bye bye.

[GASPING]

-That was them--
the space aliens!
They've got Bobby and Ted!

Well, you kids haven't touched
your Cajun cauliflower.
I'll just heat it up.

[SIGHING]

-You know, you just
never think something
like this is going
to happen to you.
I miss my baby brother.

-Oh, I feel so terrible
that I've acted scummy
to the little dink for so long.

-Really?

[GROANING]

-Scuzzball.

-Bobby!

-Bob-O!

-Oh, my cutest youngest!

-Oh, thank heavens
you're not hurt.
[SCREAMING]

-That hurt.

[EVERYONE TALKING]

-We were worried sick.

Where were you?

-This aliens have
returned our Bobby.
[LAUGHING]

-What aliens?

Bob-O was with me.

-Well, where have you two been?

-Nafoodjia had to
go to a wedding,
but it wasn't a wedding,
it was her wedding.
And Nafoodjia was
driving, and we
had to go looking
for a phone, and we
got her a present
at the truck stop,
and I think I'm
going to win a bike
on the "Captain Squash Show."

-Oh, Bobby, I'm
glad you're back.
If you ever do
that again, Ted-- I
was worried sick about my baby.

You had me worried sick.

For corn sakes, Ted, what were
you thinking of-- running off
like that,
gallivanting all over,
scaring us out of our wit.

You should be
ashamed of yourself.
-Sorry, sis.

[LAUGHING]

MARTHA: Oh, gee
willikers, what am I
getting all bent
out of shape about?
I'm just so gee golly glad you
two are home safe and sound.
-A happy ending to
a great adventure.
[IMITATING CAR]

Nope, no telephone here.

Keep driving.

No, this phone is broken.

Better driver some more.

[DOOR CLOSING]

-Mail's in.

Hey, look at this.

We got a postcard
from Nafoodjia.
She's on Volcano Island.

-Aw, how romantic.

Read it to us, Howard.

-Loopa doo-poo non-plas-co-bo-la
pop-suck dram-boo-la.
-She says she's very happy
and the weather is beautiful,
but the volcano
is going to erupt
so they have to stay inside.

-Hey, here's a letter from Bobby
from the "Captain Squash Show."
-Open it!
What does it say?
What does it say?

Read it to me!

-"Dear Bobby," [SPEAKING
IN ANNOUNCER'S VOICE]
"Congratulations, you've been
chosen as one of the finalists
in the Captain Squash
Great Adventure Contest."
-That means I'm
going to be on TV.
[PEOPLE TALKING]

[FOOT STEPS]

BOBBY: Hm.

I thought it would
be bigger than this.
-Bobby Generic?

-That's Gen-er-ic.

-Yeah, right.

OK, come with me, young man.

You need makeup.

-Makeup?

I'm not a girl.

-Yeah, I hate to be
a gloating Nora here,
but we're so proud our little
Bobby is on today's show.
-Yeah, sure.

Look.

Your seats are in
the front section.
And remember-- no flash
cameras, no camcorders,
and no audio recording devices.

-You know, Howard, who am I?

You know, I hate to count my gee
golly chickens before they're
hatched, but um, should we call
one of those Hollywood agents
for Bobby, huh?

-He's just here for
a contest, Martha.
This isn't going to get
him an Emmy nomination.
-I bet Bobby is so
excited, don't cha know.
-Hello, I'm Bobby.

Did you have a great
adventure, too?
-I went to Space Camp.

-Oh.

What about you?

-I went mountain climbing
in the Himalayas.
What did you do?

-I had an adventure trying to
take Nafoodjia to her wedding.
I colored the whole thing.

You want to see my pictures?

-No, thank you.

-Hey, I'll tell you-- I'm as
serious as a pimple on prom
night.

Those are three very
exciting stories.
Aren't they, kids?

-Yay!

-I have one last question.

Tighten up on me, Jerry.

Did you all call home
to tell your parents
about your adventure?

-Yes, I did.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

-Good, Kyle.

Brandy?

-I called from a
Himalayan monastery.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

-Good girl.

And Bobby?

-That-- that was
part of my adventure.
We couldn't find a phone.

[GASPING]

-I am sorry, Bobby.

But if you're going
to have an adventure,
you have got to remember
[SINGING] to call home first.
MARTHA: Hon, I hope you
aren't too disappointed
that you didn't win the contest.

-Nope.

I had lots of fun.

I got to be on TV.

And besides, Captain
Squash cereal
is my favorite breakfast food.

-I gotta tell you, Howard.

I'm happy to see Bobby
such a good sport.
[LAUGHING]

-Boy.

If I only won that tricycle.

Come on, Weebly, we're
going on an adventure.
Whoops.

Better phone home.

[BELL RINGING]

Bye bye.

-Wait, wait, wait.

We usually say something
at the end of a show.
-Well, I thought that this time
we would do something different
and not talk at all at the end.

-Fine.

Hey, whatever you want.

It's your show.

-Well, it's too late now.

-Why?

-You already talked.

-I'm sorry.

-You're still talking.

-Well, I'll stop.

-Well, then do it now.

-OK.

I don't have to talk.

In fact, I won't talk anymore.

This show won't have
anything at the end of it.
We're not going to say a word.

I didn't-- I should have thought
about that ahead of time.
You're right.

It's good.

This one's different.

No talking at the
end of this one.
Right.

Just-- we just ended the
show and gone-- great idea.
He comes up with good ideas.

That's it.

[SCREAMING]

I better go now.

[MUSIC PLAYING]