03x08 - Misery Loves Company

[bunniefuu]

-Well, that's our show.

See ya.

BOBBY: Hey, the show's not over.

We didn't even start yet.

-I'm sorry.

I always get mixed up.

You do it.

-OK.

Well, that's our show.

See ya.

-No.

Start the show.

-Oh.

OK.

Start the show.

Was that good?

-Oh yeah.

Wonderful.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Gadzooks.

Vroom.

Vroom.

Vroom.

I'm the winner.

Hooray.

-Gimme.

Let me see.

-OK.

-Oh, that's really good, Bobby.

-It's a race car.

You really like it?

-Oh yeah.

You're the best drawer, I know.

I'm your number one fan.

Hey, Bobby.

You want to sleep

over at my house?

It'll be fun.

-But if I sleep at your house,

where are you going to sleep?

GORDON: I-- I'll

sleep there too.

-OK.

But first, I have to ask my mom.

Race you to the kitchen.

-[SINGING] Oh, join the

king in blue suede shoes.

When you sing all my

pimples go all goose.

Oh baby.

Just let me lick

your postage stamp.

Uh-huh.

Oh, you caught me.

Whenever I hear the king, I

just lose my gee-golly control,

don't you know.

Now, what can I do

for you two boys?

Milk?

Juice?

How about some nice homemade

prune fiber nuggets?

Nummer nummers.

-These look delicious.

Thank you, Bobby's mother.

-Oh, so polite.

You're welcome, hun.

Bobby?

-Thanks, mom.

Roger, look what I got for you.

GORDON: Bobby.

-Mom, can I ask you something?

-Ask me what, Bobby?

-Can I stay overnight

at Gordon's house?

-Can he please, Bobby's mother?

We'll be the most

excellently good boys.

Right, Bobby.

-Right, Gordon.

BOTH: Please.

-Oh, you two are so cute.

I just can't say

no, don't you know.

BOTH: Yay!

-Let's see here.

I'm going to need my

bat, and my cowboy hat,

and my globe, and

my good pillow,

and my crayons,

and my teddy bear.

That's everything.

See you later, Roger.

[WHINING]

Hold your breath, Teddy.

-Got a problem, Bob-o?

-Uncle Ted, I can't

get my suitcase shut.

-Hey, no problem.

Oh, that's a keeper.

You know, Bob-o, there's

a couple of things

a guy's got to have

on a sleepover.

-What?

Huh.

-Oh, just in case the guy in

the top bunk wets his bed.

And here, in case, dinner turns

out to be puree of legumes.

Ugh.

-He thinks of everything.

-But it's not all

bad news, Bob-o.

There's really good stuff too.

-What?

-No matter what you do

at the other guy's house,

you can't get in trouble for it.

Because you're not their kid.

MARTHA: Oh, Ted.

Now, don't plant those

seeds of bad behavior.

-Ah, sis.

I was kidding.

You know I'm a kidder.

Tell her, Bob-o.

-He's a kidder, Mom.

-That's my Bob-o.

-Time for noogies.

-Time for noogies.

-Told ya.

MARTHA: Hey, hey,

hey, hey, mister.

Where's your PJs, your slip

slips, your toothbrush?

-There's no room.

-Oh, I think I can find some.

If I take out the bat, your

cowboy hat, your globe,

your pillow, and teddy

bear, and Webbly.

-Webbly and the

teddy bear, but mom.

MARTHA: Now, Bobby, you

don't need to take them both.

You're going to have to

leave one of them behind.

-I-- I do.

-Oh, you can't leave, Bobby.

Not after all we've

meant to each other.

-I'm sorry.

But I've got to leave.

TEDDY BEAR: But,

but what about me?

Your room?

Tara?

-I'm through with

everything here.

I want to see if there isn't

something left in life of charm

and, and grace.

Do you know what

I'm talking about?

Cause I don't.

-But if you go,

where shall I go?

What shall I do?

-Frankly, my teddy

bear, I don't give a--

[CAR HORN HONKING]

UNCLE TED: Hey, Bob-o.

Time to go.

-Coming, Uncle Ted.

-You got everything?

Be good.

-Let's move.

-Hey, Ted, thanks for taking

Bobby over to the Hula's

for us.

-Yeah, appreciate it, Ted.

-Oh, no problem.

It's on my way.

-Now, remember, Bobby.

Be a good boy.

And mind your P's and Q's.

-OK.

But what about his T's and L's?

And how about his

B-O's and his B-M's?

-Oh, reign it in, now,

Ted, for Pete's sake.

-Oh boy.

Bye, Mom.

-Bye, Bobby.

I love you.

HOWARD: Drive carefully, Ted.

-Are we there yet?

-Almost.

-This is going to

be so much fun.

-It sure is.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

As long as Gordon's mom isn't

some big, old, ugly witch.

-Huh?

-Well, you must be Bobby,

Gordon's little playmate.

-Nope.

Not me.

I'm Uncle Ted.

This is Bobby.

Say hello, Bobby.

-[STUTTERING]H-hi.

-You know, Bobby.

Gordon's a big fan of yours.

He loves the way you draw.

-Yeah.

I'm your number one fan.

Come on.

That's the kitchen in there,

where I spilled the milk.

And that's the laundry room,

where I take my dirty clothes.

And over where is where

I threw up last winter.

And that's where I broke

the big green lamp.

And--

-What's this?

GORDON: Don't touch it.

It's the burglalalar alarm.

-OK.

What's the burglalalar alarm?

-Come on.

Let's go to my room.

-Wow.

What's in here?

-Don't go in there.

Kids are never supposed to

go in the living room alone.

-What happens if you do?

-Things get pretty ugly.

Want to see?

-No.

No, no!

HOWARD: Gordon Hula, you

know better than that.

-It was Bobby's fault.

He wanted to go in.

I told him not to.

-Thank you, Gordon.

We have rules in this

house, young man.

Tonight the rules of this house

will be read by Herb Levinthal

from the firm of

Prince Watermark.

Herb.

-Thank you, Rita.

Never run with scissors.

Don't put pens in your mouth.

Don't point.

Clean your plate.

Always flush.

Wash behind your ears.

Wipe your feet.

Do unto others.

Don't eat between meals.

Do unto others.

Don't eat between meals.

Don't eat between meals.

Do your homework.

Don't eat between meals.

Do your homework.

Do your duty.

Don't talk with your mouth full.

Don't pick your nose.

Don't play with your food.

No playing ball in the house.

Don't ever eat the plastic food.

Never play with matches.

Put your toys away.

Say please.

Make your bed.

Brush your teeth.

Keep your feet

off the furniture.

Don't use the guest towel.

Never sleep with your socks on.

No fighting.

No talking.

No gambling.

No sale.

No show.

No hits.

No runs.

No errors.

GORDON'S MOM: And you'll

have a very good time.

Now, off you go.

-Last one to my

room's a dirty bird.

Race you.

-But your mom said--

-Uh-oh.

It's Uncle Lou.

-Gordon, how many

times must I tell

you not to run in the house?

-I wasn't running, Uncle Lou.

Bobby was.

-But-- but, but--

-I was just running after him,

so I could tell him not to run.

-I'm starting to

have a funny feeling

about this sleepover thing.

-Little boy, we have

rules in this house,

and they are meant to be obeyed.

-Yes, sir.

Are you going to send me home?

-Oh no.

Don't.

He'll be good.

I promise.

-Well, all right.

But play quietly.

-Yay.

-Yay.

-I don't get it.

Why do you want to

call your mom and dad?

-Because I'd like

to go home now.

GORDON: You can't.

Come on.

Draw me a picture of a pig.

I'm your number one fan.

-But Gordon.

-I said draw.

-Uh, this is the wrong paper.

I can't draw on this paper.

Can you-- can you get me

some construction paper?

-[MOCKING] This is

the wrong paper.

I can't draw on this.

-What's the matter, Gordon?

-I'll tell you

what's the matter.

I go out of my way for you.

I tell you I'm your biggest fan.

I invite you to sleep over.

And what thanks do I get?

I'll get your stupid paper.

But you just better

start showing me

a little more

appreciation, Mr. Boy.

-I got to get out of here.

I bet there's a

phone in the kitchen.

[PHONE RINGING]

UNCLE LOU: I'll get it.

[LAUGHING] Ah, Daphne,

you're such a card.

-Bobby, here I come.

-Gadzooks.

-Yes, I miss you too, darling.

Bye.

[KISSY SOUNDS]

[HUMMING]

-Here's your c*ck doody paper.

-Phew.

-This is delicious, dear.

If I hadn't seen the tire marks,

I'd have sworn it was a steak.

-Oh, Derwood,

you're so bourgeois.

Bon appetit, Bobby.

-I don't think I like this.

GORDON'S MOM: In this

house, we clean our plates.

-I ate it all.

-Something wrong with

your legumes, Bobby?

-No fair, Gordon.

That's--

GORDON'S MOM: You should have

eaten your veggies, Bobby.

Now, you're not going

to get any dessert.

-But Mrs. Hula.

-Rules are rules, Bobby.

-Gordon?

Isn't there a rule about this?

GORDON'S MOM: You

boys better not

be getting water on the floor.

-You will never escape, Bobby.

-I'm free.

GORDON'S MOM: Hold it

right there, mister.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm disappointed in you, Bobby.

-But I didn't--

-I warned him, Mom.

But he wouldn't listen--

-You're a good boy, Gordon.

Now clean up this mess

and go right to bed.

-Sorry, Bobby.

But you know how it is.

-No, I don't.

But I think I'm starting to.

[SNORING]

-Glad to see you're up, Bobby.

-I-- I'm-- I'm not up really.

I'm just going to the bathroom.

-OK.

But use the night bathroom,

or Mom will be mad.

-Where's-- where's

the night bathroom?

-Go down the stairs.

Turn to the right.

And it's just the other

side of the green light.

-Thanks, Gordon.

Down the stairs.

Turn right.

There it is.

[ALARM BLARES]

Am I in trouble?

[ALARM BLARES]

[POLICE SIREN]

GORDON'S MOM: What's going on?

-I'll take the east flank.

-I'll go west.

-Roger.

-Wilco.

[ALARM BLARING]

-Stop.

Look.

-Can you-- can you see anything?

-Not as such.

No.

-Nothing?

-No.

-That's a pity.

I'm really pumped for action.

-What I think this is--

-Mr. Meeker?

Mr. Snerd?

-At your service, ma'am.

-In the flesh.

-Yep.

-We thought you were footpads.

Uh, burglars.

-What is a footpad?

-Footpad?

-It's--

-No.

-No.

-No, no.

-That's a big, big mistake.

GORDON'S MOM: Huge.

-But if there are no burglars,

who set off the alarm?

-Bobby did.

UNCLE LOU: Arrest him.

-Yeah.

Yeah.

Arrest me.

I did a terrible thing.

Call my parents.

Make them come and get me.

--[LAUGHING] You slow

down there, little fella.

We're not going to arrest you.

-No way.

-But, but you have to.

-It's your job.

-Well, should we

let it go this time?

-I think just this time.

SNERD: Yeah.

Maybe once.

Hey, hey, you must be

having some fun, huh.

-Golly.

-You know.

I remember my first overnight.

-Me too.

Well, our job's done.

Come on.

Let's go, Snerd.

SNERD: Well, I would like

to more than anything,

but I got this thing on--

-Bobby, you stay put

now, or next time, you'll

be in big trouble, no

matter who's kid you are.

-So much for Uncle Ted's advice.

GORDON: Pst.

Bobby, come on down.

I've got some candy.

-I can't.

I gotta stay put.

-OK.

Then, I'll bring it up to you.

-Help me.

I had a really spooky

dream last night.

I dreamed I was at

Gordon's house, and-- ahh!

It wasn't a dream.

I-- I-- I've had enough.

I want to go home.

Gordon!

Gordon!

Uncle Lou!

Anybody!

Mrs. Hula.

Is this a joke?

Where are you guys?

I'm home alone, and it's

somebody else's home.

-I'm your number one fan.

-We have our rules.

-No running in the house.

-You're in trouble, little man.

-I'm disappointed in you.

-He did it.

-He did it.

ALL: He did it!

-If I'm home alone, yes!

-Yeah.

Huh?

Uncle Ted!

-I said I'd be here at noon.

Didn't Gordon tell you?

-No.

He disappeared.

We better get out of

here while we can.

-Hm.

This one's still good.

What do you mean disappeared?

They got to be here somewhere.

-No.

They're gone.

I looked everywhere.

-What's down there?

-The living room.

It'll be ugly.

I can't look.

-You can open your eyes, Bob-o.

-Good morning, Ted.

-Hello, Ted.

How are you?

-Good to see you.

-We always spend Sunday

morning in the living room.

-I told him, Mom.

But he wouldn't listen.

-I know, dear.

-You know, sir.

In this house, we

take off our shoes

before we come into

the living room.

-Shoes?

Huh?

Oh, that's OK.

They're new.

Besides, we got to be

going, right, Bob-o.

-Right, Uncle Ted.

Ah jeez, that's a stain.

Sorry about that.

[BARKING]

-Oh yeah, I brought

Roger with me.

He's waiting outside.

-That's my Uncle Ted.

-And then the

furniture came alive.

And the lamp ate up the chair.

And the burglalalar

alarm started.

And the lights,

they were flashing.

They were bright.

And then I woke up with,

with candy in my hair.

-Ew.

Icky.

-That's right.

And they shot me

with water g*ns.

And then, they all disappeared.

-Sounds like you had a

really great time, Bobby.

-Huh?

-Oh, doesn't he have a wonderful

imagination, now then yet?

GORDON'S MOM: Yoohoo.

Somebody forgot something.

MARTHA: Oh, come in, Mrs. Hula.

Don't you want to

thank Mrs. Hula, Bobby?

-Thank you, Mrs. Hula.

-No.

Thank you, Bobby.

-What for?

-For being the only

boy who ever stayed

the whole night with Gordon.

-That's cause I'm

his number one fan.

MARTHA: Isn't that cute?

Hey, light bulb.

Why doesn't Gordon

spend tonight with us?

Would you like that, Bobby?

-Ahh!

Oh, OK.

Sure.

He's on my turf now.

-Hey, Bobby, want to sleep

over at my house tonight?

-I sleep over at your

house every night.

I live with you.

-I know.

OK.

Good night.

-Night.

-Sleep tight.

-I won't let the bed bugs bite.

-Sweet dreams.

-Peaches and creams.

-That's enough.

-Toys and stuff.

-Now, go to sleep.

-Not a peep.

-Now.

-Wow.

-OK.

Roll the credits.

-I'll keep talking, but

they'll make some edits.

[THEME MUSIC]