04x01 - The Joke's on Ray

[bunniefuu]

["Ghostbusters" playing]

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[screaming]

♪ There's something strange ♪

♪ In the neighborhood ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ There's something weird ♪

♪ And it don't look good ♪

Uh-oh!

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[siren blaring]

[growls]

[Slimer] Luigi, jump!

[screams]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[screaming]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[Slimer] Ghostbusters!

Yeah!

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

And me, and me!

[chomping]

[burps]

[all chomping]

Oh, boy! Oh!

[Peter] Mmm. Great sandwiches, Egon.

[Winston] Yeah.

Mmm. What's in them anyway?

[Egon] Simple, really.

A basic blend of chemical components

that precisely duplicates
the vitamins and minerals,

lost through epidermal elimination.

- What'd he say?
- What'd he say?

He said they're made of synthetic...

Ugh...Sweat!

I'll be happy to share the recipe.

Mmm.

Yummy!

That's OK, Egon.

Yeah, next time I'm hungry,
I'll just suck a sock.

Socks? Mmm.

- Yummy!
- [doorbell buzzing]

I'll get it, I'll get it.

Yay!

Special delivery for Ray Stantz.

- Whoa!
- Thank you.

Ray! Oh, Ray.

Thanks, Slimer.

[Slimer] Ah!

[gasps]

According to this,

my long lost Uncle Gaylord
just passed away.

Last time I saw him, I was just a kid.

[wailing]

Slimer, you've never
even met Uncle Gaylord.

Oh, yeah.

And he willed his joke shop
in Queens to me.

Wow!

"Because Ray was my nephew,

with the worst sense of humor."

Hey, I resent that.

I have a great sense of humor,
right, guys?

[all] Nah!

[scoffs] Well, I think I'm very funny.

[yells]

[all laughing]

Now, that was funny.

[all laughing]

Well, this is it, Slimer.

Welcome to my very own joke shop.

Wowie! Oh, boy!

Wow.

[giggling]

[muttering gibberish]

[blows]

[screams]

Ray? Ray?

[screams]

[chuckling] It's just me, Slimer.

Phew.

Boy, this place is full of great stuff.

Wonder what this is?

- [buzzer rings]
- [screams]

Ray!

Whoa!

[farting]

Welcome to Gaylord's Hall of Humor.

[laughter]

Well, I'll be...

It's some sort of private museum of gags
throughout history.

[cheering]

Oh, boy!

[Ray and Slimer laughing]

Hey, let's check this one out.

[sniffing]

Careful, Slimer.
No telling what will pop out.

[gasps]

[struggling]

Boy, it's really stuck.

[grunts]

Empty.

[sighs] Big laugh.

Uncle Gaylord was definitely weird.

Come on, let's go, Slimer.

I can't wait to try
some of the gags on the guys.

Right, Slimer?

Yeah, it'll be fun.
[giggling]

[rhythmic beeping]

[whistling]

[chuckling]

[neighing]

Hey!

[laughing]

- [mumbling]
- [giggling]

[both grunt]

[giggling]

[both continue giggling]

- [buzzes]
- [screams]

[laughing]

[both giggling]

[giggling]

He just doesn't know it yet.

[slurping]

Oh, Janine!

Uh, could you come here?

Please.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Ray, where are you?

[giggling]

Ray? That's weird.

[giggling]

- [farting]
- Oh!

[both laughing]

Janine, you should have
seen the look on your face.

Very funny, guys.

[both continue laughing]

[farting]

[both continue laughing]

[laughing]

That way.

[exclaiming]

[both laughing]

[Ray] Hey, guys.

Mind if I get a quick
group portrait here, uh,

you know, for our album?

[both chuckling]

Sure, fire away.

[all gasp]

[Ray and Slimer laughing]

[Slimer] That was good!

You guys are great sports, huh, Slimer?

Yeah, funny.

[Ray and Slimer continue laughing]

Got an idea.

Great, let's go.

[imps laughing]

[electricity crackling]

[telephone buzzing]

[Janine] Ghostbusters Central.

[speaking gibberish]

Hey, easy, guys.

[alarm blaring]

Phew.

Trouble at the Hasty Pastry Bakery.

[siren blaring]

[tires screeching]

[siren stops]

[imps giggling]

[gasps]

OK, where is it?

Where's what?

Uh, we'd better check that address again.

[monster growling]

[screaming]

[growling]

Now!

[popping]

[all exclaim]

Wha...What hit us?

Huh? A water balloon?

[imps laughing]

- [powering up]
- [electricity cracking]

[Slimer] Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Yummy!

[both laughing]

[laugh gets deeper]

Hey.

Ooh! Ah! Ah!

[grunt]

[powering down]

Phew.

Our phantom has a label.

Terrific, now we're dealing
with designer phantoms.

Mmm. [slurps]

Yuck!

Gaylord's Joke Shop.

- Gaylord's Joke Shop?
- Gaylord's Joke Shop?

I swear I didn't do it. No joke, guys.

Don't mention "joke", OK?

Nice going, Ray.

Your Uncle Gaylord was right, Ray.

You aren't funny.

[both giggling]

Laugh's over, Slimer.

No more jokes.

Aw, no more jokes?

Agreed?

[blows raspberry, exclaims]

Slimer!

[whines] Oh, OK, OK.

Hey, Slimer.

Didn't we leave this trap door closed?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

[Ray] What's all that
glittery stuff in there?

I don't know.

[sniffing]

Ray! Ray! Ray!

Oh!

Slimer, what's wrong?

Imps!

Imps?

[telephone ringing]

Ghostbusters Central. Janine.

[panting] Janine, let me talk to the guys.

Sorry, Ray, they're out on a call.

Oh, no! Where?

The Twin Towers Project, downtown.

- Why?
- [call disconnects]

[dial tone]

And I'm telling you guys. We didn't call.

There's no problem here.

Well, somebody called.

[both laughing]

You fellas go ahead
and look around but I have work to do.

- Look out!
- [grunts]

[imps laughing]

[Peter] There's something up top!

[tires screeching]

Guys!

- Wait! Don't go up there.
- [Slimer screaming]

- There's Ray.
- [Egon] What's he saying?

[Ray] Stop! You're in terrible danger.

[Peter] Probably trying to
tell us another dumb joke.

- Stop! Stop!
- Stop! Stop!

[both laughing]

- Cut! Cut! Cut!
- [mumbles, laughs]

[both continue laughing]

[all] Whoa!

[gasps]

[both laughing]

[all screaming]

[Ray] The cable!

[both laugh]

[all continue screaming]

Blast the motors. It's our only chance.

[both continue laughing]

[yelling]

[creaking]

Phew. Ground floor.
Lingerie. Everybody, out.

Watch this. [laughs]

[all grunt]

[Ray] Now do you guys believe me?

Slimer and I haven't been
pulling these pranks.

Well, I'd certainly like to know who is.

[both] Imps.

Imps. What are Imps?

[whimpers] Bad news.

Yeah, they almost did us in, man.

Imps are invisible spirits
with a dangerous sense of humor.

The longer they remain free,

the more powerful they become.

Then, we'd better
bag these little buggers, fast.

But how do you
trap something you can't see?

With these Ecto-Visors,
we can see them just fine.

[phone ringing]

Ghostbusters Central.

Hey! This may be them, guys.

- [imp] Ghostbusters, repeat.
- [imps laughing]

We need more help at the waterfront.

Ghosts are [laughs]
haunting the honeymoon cruise.

Please, hurry.

It must be the imps.

Yeah, but this time, the joke's on them.
Let's roll.

[cheering]

[camera clicking]

[snarling]

[growling]

[crowd clamoring]

[man 1] Ghostbusters.
[man 2] Ghostbusters.

[all] Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!

Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!

Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!

OK, guys, the laughs stop here.

Hey, imp, you can run but you can't hide.

[imps laughing]

OK, go for it!

Roger. Roger.

[both laughing]

Watch out, guys!

[both continue laughing]

[Ghostbusters yelling]

[all gasping]

[woman] Oh, no, be careful...

[both continue laughing]

[Ghostbusters yelling]

[Ghostbusters continue yelling]

Bye-bye, Ghostbusters. [laughing]

[Ghostbusters yelling]

[exclaiming]

[Ghostbusters continue yelling]

Oh, no!

That's the one thing we forgot.

[coughing] What's that?

Our swimsuits.

Company!

Trap out!

[imps growling and yelling]

[Peter] These guys are tough.

Crank up the power.

[imps growling]

Well, we didn't trap them
but they're definitely gone.

Don't count on it.

I'm still getting
a high level of spectral activity.

I knew it! They're getting
ready for another attack.

[wails]

Not to worry, troops.

We're gonna send those yo-yos back
where they came from.

Peter, our throwers
are useless against them.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I didn't say it'd be easy.

Wait! The little black box.

It's the only way we can trap 'em.

[whirring]

When those imps show up,
lead them to the Joke Shop.

And Slimer and I will do the rest.

We will?

Hold it, Ray.
Those imps aren't joking around anymore.

Neither am I.

[grunting]

[Peter] Here they come!

[indistinct screaming]

[tires screeching]

[sirens blaring]

Faster, Winston, they're gaining on us.

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[imps laughing]

[roaring]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[tires screeching]

[imps laughing]

[tires screeching]

[sirens blaring]

Right behind us, Ray.

[loud thud]

[imps laughing]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[Ray laughing]

What's the matter?

[whimpers]

Can't you take a joke?

I think Ray has finally flipped out.

[both growling]

[whimpers]

[both chuckling]

[both snarling]

Ray! Get out of there!

[both continue laughing]

[growling, screaming]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

Uh-uh. You guys aren't going anywhere.

[yells]

Whoa! [grunting]

- [Egon] Get 'em.
- [Peter] After 'em.

[Peter] Quick! [grunts]

[Peter] Go after 'em. This way. This way.

[Egon] Get 'em.

[grunting]

Trap open!

OK. On three.

One,

two,

three!

[imps growling]

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

- [sighs]
- Phew.

Solemn promise, guys.

No more jokes. Right, Slimer?

Uh-huh.

Scouts honor.

- Amen to that.
- All right.

It's satisfactory.

[Ray] In fact,
I've decided to sell the shop.

After all, jokes really
are silly kids stuff.

And we're all a little
too mature for that, right, guys?

[farting]

[all] Uh...

But can we keep the whoopee cushion?

[chuckles] Yeah!

[theme music playing]

[screaming]