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03x11 - The Copycat

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Real Ghostbusters". Aired: September 13, 1986 – October 5, 1991.*
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Series follows the continuing adventures of the four Ghostbusters, their secretary Janine, their accountant Louis, and their mascot Slimer, as they chase and capture rogue spooks, specters, spirits and ghosts around New York City and various other areas of the world.

03x11 - The Copycat

Post by bunniefuu »

[theme music playing]

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[phone rings]

♪ There's something strange ♪

♪ In the neighborhood ♪

[alarm bell ringing]

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ There's something weird ♪

♪ And it don't look good ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[tires screech]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

[ghosts roaring]

[ghosts screaming]

♪ I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

♪ Who you gonna call? ♪

♪ Ghostbusters ♪

[sirens wailing]

[tires screech]

[whistles]

Well, whoever this ghost is,
he sure got rich taste.

Yeah, I bet the mice here
only eat French cheese.

I bet there aren't any mice here.

[door bell ringing]

It's about time, Ghostbusters.

Some cheeky ghost
has broken all my best china.

Rearranged my furniture.

And scared poor,
little Pieface, half to death.

[cooing and babytalk]

[dog yapping]

Too bad it didn't work on the other half.

[blathering]

Please come in.

[dog growling]

[growling]

You see? It's ruined everything.

And I'm furious!

No need to worry, ma'am.
If there's a spirit here, we'll find it.

[P.K.E. meter beeping]

[Egon] Strange...

Preliminary scan indicates
negative supernatural residue.

What?

Excuse me?

Uh, he means there's no sign of any ghost.

But that's impossible. We saw it.

Didn't we, sweetums?

[dog yapping]

We'll check the place out
from top to bottom, Mrs. Campbell.

[Mrs. Campbell] Yes, please do.

Yum-yum!

[munching]

Ooh, yummy.

[growling]

[Slimer whimpering]

[sniffing]

Wow!

[blabbing suspiciously]

[enthusiastic muttering]

Huh?

[echoing cackling]

[zapping]

[barking]

[yelping]

[cackling]

You're absolutely sure there's no ghost?

Yes, ma'am. We checked the entire house.

No ghost.

It's clean as a whistle.

Have you ever wondered
how clean whistles really are?

-[Peter] Absolutely.
-Frequently, why?

♪ Who you're gonna call? ♪

[cackling]

[metallic crashing]

[loud clattering]

[cackling]

No more calls, guys, you can relax.

Good news, Janine.

Now I can do a little work on Ecto-1.

Ray, this would be an excellent time
to test the trans-dimensional portal.

Yeah. Let's go!

Hey, Spud.

Huh?

How'd you like to help me do
the trans-dimensional laundry?

Me?

Yeah, you.

[blathering]

But first you need a little snack, right?

[excited babbling]

He's so predictable.

All right, yummy!

[humming theme song]

♪ Who you gonna call?

♪ Ghostbusters! ♪

[Slimer] Wha?

Yummy!

[screams]

[laughs hysterically]

[sighs]

What is going on?

[loud banging]

Steady big fella!

[banging continues]

Good timing, spud.

The laundry is already in the spin cycle.

[blathering]

Where did what go?

A giant hamburger.

A giant hamburger?

Uh-huh.

What did it do? Get up and run away?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. [blubbering]

Maybe it ran off with a hot dog.

[blowing raspberry]

[cackling]

[in Peter's voice]
How's it going, Winston?

Going on all right, what's so funny?

This!

Uh?

Hey, what are you doing?

That wasn't funny, Peter.

Oh, yes it was.

[cackling]

I'll show you funny!

[cackling]

[cackling]

Score tied with 10 seconds
on the game clock.

Magic Venkman has the ball.
Yo-yoing it up and down

he fakes left, fakes right,
puts the defender in the popcorn machine

and unleashes a 30-footer!

Three seconds, two, one...

It's good!

The crowd goes crazy!

[imitates fanfare]

[slams]

What's the big idea
dumping oil all over me, man?

Dumping oil?

I've been right here playing laundry ball.

Right, Slimer?

Yeah.

Don't give me that.

I don't know how you did it,
but you did it!

What do you think this is?

Dirty coveralls?

[echoing cackling]

-[electronic beeping]
-[zapping]

Hi, Egon.

Oh, hello, Janine.

What are you working on?
Something brilliant, I suppose?

[distant cackling]

This is a trans-dimensional portal.

It'll allow us direct access
to the Netherworld.

It's great.

Watch!

[electric buzzing]

[whirring]

Gee, that's terrific.

But what's it do?

Simple. When we run out of space
in the containment unit,

this will allow us to transfer ghosts
directly to the Netherworld.

Oh, Egon, how'd you ever get so smart?

[growling]

[gasps]

-[electricity crackling]
-[howls]

Don't worry, Janine.

As long as the safety field's on,
he can't get through.

Right, puppy?

[growling]

[thudding]

Well, see you later, guys.

-[Ray] So long, Janine.
-Oh, excuse...

Me! [screams]

Janine, what's wrong?

I...I just saw me out in the hall!

Uh, say that again, Janine?

Me! I saw me out there.

No one here.

But I saw her. I swear it.

Janine, that's impossible.

Nothing is impossible, Raymond.

However, Janine, I think you've been
working too hard lately.

Come on. You need some rest.

[cackling]

[whirring]

[gasps]

How's Janine?

Oh, she'll be fine.

[cackling]

Egon, what are you doing?

Hey, stop!

-Oh, no!
-[powers down]

[cackling]

[powers back up]

What did you do that for?

Just because.

[cackling]

"Just because"?

Egon, wait!

And I'm telling you, Winston,

I avoid the garage whenever possible.

And I'm telling you

I saw what I saw what I saw, man.

"Just because", why Egon?

Just because why what?

You told me you cut the power
on the trans-dimensional portal

"just because."

First of all, I would never cut the power
on the trans-dimensional portal.

Secondly, I would never say,
"Just because."

Come on, Egon, I saw you do it.

Hold it. Hold it.

What is going on?

Everybody's acting very weird around here.

You mean, weirder than normal?

[cackling]

Hey!

[cackling]

What the heck was that?

Everything is suddenly very clear.

It must be a Metamorph.

English, Egon.

Speak English.

That thing is a shape-changer. A copycat.

It can copy anything it sees.

Yeah, right.

Including copies of us.

It could even be you, big guy.

Come on, follow that chair.

Head him off at the couch.

Peter, wait.

The situation is under control.

[metal clanging]

The building is now secure.

I installed shutters impervious
to ectoplasm throughout the Firehouse.

You mean this copycat thing can't get out?

Exactly.

Terrific. But we still got to find it.

Right. Keep an eye out
for an extra refrigerator.

[blathering]

OK, let's split up and check every room.

Janine, stay with Slimer.

Yell if you see anything.

Oh, don't worry, we will.

Where do we look?

It could be anything.

Or anyone.

[gasps]

You really are you, aren't you, Slimer?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

[screams]

[blubbering]

[slimer shrieks]

Take it easy, Slimer.

Copycat can't hurt you.

It can't hurt me?

Of course not.

You're a ghost, too, remember?

Oh, yeah!

[radio alarm buzzing loudly]

[whirring down]

Oops, guess that really was Ray's radio.

[clattering]

You see anything, Ray?

Zip.

That thing can be right under my nose.

In fact, it could be my nose.

[hushed] Winston, the cabinet.

[mouse squeaking]

Ah, it's only a mouse.

How do we know it's only a mouse?

Copycat can change
into anything it sees, remember?

-Grab it!
-I got it!

-Where is it?
-There it goes!

Oh, after it! Hurry!

[mouse squeaking]

Ow!

Winston!

Don't yell! I got a headache.

Look, I found this cheese in the cabinet.

It really was just a mouse.

-[cackling]
-[shrieks]

It's the cheese.

Uh, I mean, it's him!
I mean, uh, it-it's it!

Yeah, and it's about to become
Swiss cheese.

[cackling]

Now, what's wrong with this picture?

What's here that wasn't here before?

Hmm, did I have two brains here or one?

Egon, how can you not remember
how many brains you have?

I have one. So, one of them's the Copycat!

[cackling]

[gasps]

[electric crackling]

Oh, no!

[growling]

Just isn't your day, Egon.

[roaring]

[alarm bell ringing]

Um, why don't you be a good dog
and move away from the portal

so I can get a clear shot?

[roars]

[screams]

Is that the real Terror Dog,
or the Copycat?

This is not the Copycat.

-[roars]
-[Ray] How'd the Terror Dog get out, Egon?

And don't say, "Just because."

A major blunder on my part.

[growls]

Force it back through the portal.

[snarling]

[roaring]

Run!

Way to go, guys!

[Slimer] Yeah, way to go, guys.

Egon, did you let that thing out again?

You are Egon, aren't you?

Of course I'm Egon.

When I came in I noticed there were
two brains instead of one.

And I knew that one of them was
the Copycat, so...

Egon, where did you get this?

A limited edition of Captain Steel?

This is really incredible!

I thought I had the only one in existence.

[cackling]

[screams]

Now, that's going too far.

Captain Steel is my favorite comic book!

[cackling]

[shouting]

[cackling]

He's using his Captain Steel laser vision!

Yeah, well let him get
a load of this vision.

[cackling]

[cackling]

[crashing]

He's in here. I can feel it.

[Ray] Yeah, but where?

[screams]

[crashing]

[proton g*ns powering up]

[screams]

[phone rings]

[shrieks]

Hold it.

We gotta relax a little, guys.

Look for anything in twos,
and shoes and fours.

[both gasping]

[Ray] [hushed]
There. Behind your desk, Peter.

The lamps.

No, not my hula girl lamp.

[g*ns powering up]

Wait, guys! Lighten up
those trigger fingers.

I'll flush it out.

You've got one second
to show yourself, Copycat.

[cackling]

Whoa!

[screams]

[Peter] You know what?

I've had it with this Copycat
and all his games.

I have an idea.

Egon, Metamorphs are playful, right?

This type of Metamorph
is very playful, yes.

OK, Slimer, we need your help.

Me?

The Copycat has to turn into a ghost
before we can trap him, understand?

[blathering]

Get him to play with you.

Make him think it's a copycat game.

Whatever you do he does, OK?

Well...

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

OK. Let's go.

Don't worry, spud, we've got you covered.

[hushed] Slimer, the footstools!

One of them is Copycat!

[taunting] Hey, Copycat!

What do you want, Slimey?

This is you!

[blows raspberry]

[babbling gibberish]

[Copycat] Oh, yeah?

Well, this is your...

[babbling gibberish]

Oh, yeah?

Well, this is you!

[blubbering]

You go like this!

[screams]

[muttering]

[muffled blubbering]

[copycat muffled blubbering]

OK, now tell me
which Slimer is really Slimer.

He's definitely the one on the right.

You sure?

Positive.

Let's double check, just to be sure.

You wouldn't want to zap the little spud.

[sing song tone]
Yo, Slimer, your favorite.

Huh!

[blathering]

[burps]

Nail him!

[Peter] Ray, throw the trap!

[shrieking]

[ecto-trap sizziling]

Well, that takes care of Copycat.

Like I said, the one on the right.

[main theme playing]

[shrieking]