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04x03 - On a Deadman's Chest

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Tales from the Crypt". Aired: June 10, 1989 – July 19, 1996.*
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Most of the program's episodes are based on stories that originally appeared in that comic or other EC Comics of the time, The Haunt of Fear, The Vault of Horror, Crime SuspenStories, Shock SuspenStories, and Two-Fisted Tales.

04x03 - On a Deadman's Chest

Post by bunniefuu »

Ah ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha! Greetings poison girls.

Are you ready to rock and roll? Good.

Then slip into your gore jack and sing along.

Can't carry a tomb.

That's o.

K.

I'm just playing by ear myself.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Tonight's terror tune concerns a young headbanger who lets a woman get a little too far under his skin.

I call this decomposition on a deadman's chest.

I call this decomposition on a deadman's chest.

[Crowd cheering]

All right! Are we ready to rock 'n' roll? [Cheering]

Yeah! Straight from their european tour
-
- Won't you give a good rockhouse welcome to l.

A.

'S own exorcist? To l.

A.

'S own exorcist? J&j& you're on my mind, love, can't you see? J&j& j&j& little mamma, don't you know? J&j& j&j& that down is where I want to go j&j& j&j& ooh, yeah j&j& j&j& ooh, yeah j&j& j&j& don't need no invitation j&j& j&j& 'cause I got your reservation right here, baby j&j& j&j& 'cause I got your reservation right here, baby j&j& j&j& gonna take you down 'cause I'm going down j&j& j&j& gonna take you down 'cause I'm on my way j&j& j&j& gonna take you down 'cause I'm going down j&j& j&j& gonna take you down j&j& j&j& take me down, nick j&j& j&j& take me down, nick j&j& I tell you, it's good to be here.

Two years on the road, playing those big arenas.

It's good to be home at the rockhouse.

It's good to be home at the rockhouse.

But I'm afraid I got a little bad news for you girls tonight.

Come over here, nicky.

Whoo! Nicky! Nick bosch nick bosch is off the market, ladies.

Nick bosch is off the market, ladies.

Nick bosch has gotten married.

Boo! Ohh boo! Ohh I'll tell you what.

His lovely new wife is right here with us tonight.

You guys want to meet her? No! Come on, scarlett.

Come on out here, scarlett.

Come on, scarlett.

Come on out here, scarlett.

Can you die or what, huh? Can you die or what? Can you die or what? Just hope one thing here now.

I just hope nick doesn't get too p*ssy whipped.

Because sometimes she thinks she owns this band.

Because sometimes she thinks she owns this band.

I'll tell you what.

Let's get this b*tch off the stage and tear this place down! One time! J&j& gonna take you down 'cause I'm going down j&j& j&j& gonna take you down 'cause I'm on my way j&j& j&j& gonna take you down 'cause I'm going down j&j& j&j& gonna take you down 'cause I'm on my way j&j&j&j& don't call my wife a b*tch.

You're a f*cking joke, man.

You're the joke.

f*cking eat me, b*tch! Hey, as*h*le, get back on that stage.

I ain't playing a note until he apologizes to scarlett.

I'm not apologizing to anybody, man! Okay, you can finish the gig by yourself! You're f*cking p*ssy whipped, nicky.

Get back on that stage or I'll beat the sh*t out of you.

Get the f*ck off me, man! Get the f*ck off me, man! What the f*ck are you doing in here? You were right about scarlett, danny.

She is a b*tch.

All us girls hate her.

She treats us like we're a bunch of sluts.

Can you f*ck' imagine.

What do you want? I got something to show you.

I got something to show you.

Where the hell did you get that? Want to look closer? Want to look closer? I thought you'd like it.

The guy that did it is incredible.

He's like a magician.

Sleep with me tonight, and I'll show you where to find him.

Let me show you where to find my snake.

Let me show you where to find my snake.

I'm telling you, greg, that b*tch is ruining, nick.

He used to be so much fun.

We all used to party all the time.

You, me and him.

She's driving me f*cking crazy.

Shut up! You're driving me crazy! I'm still hard here.

I'm still hard here.

Do you want me to get on top? That usually works for you.

That usually works for you.

You know what, forget the f*cking tattoo.

I don't want it, get out.

I don't want it, get out.

I know what you want.

I'll tell you what I want.

I want that f*cking b*tch out of life, okay.

I want that f*cking b*tch out of life, okay.

Do you hear me, scarlett? I hate you! I hate your guts! Nicky, she wants to break up the band! Get rid of her! Come on! ( Continuous yelling ) ( continuous yelling ) [door slams]

I can't take it anymore.

I can't take it anymore.

I'm going to kick his f*cking a*s.

No, I've got a better idea.

Where you going? We should talk to him.

Tomorrow.

If we don't do it now, we never will.

He's screwed up, o.

K.

? Let's talk to him tomorrow, all right? We will, I promise.

We will, I promise.

All right.

Go ahead and change the subject.

Go ahead and change the subject.

Come on, danny.

We got to go.

Farouche hates to be kept waiting.

Farouche hates to be kept waiting.

Look, you want the tattoo or not? It was hard enough to get him to see you.

We don't show up, you can forget it.

We don't show up, you can forget it.

We need to talk, danny.

f*ck you! No thanks, I'm busy today.

Don't worry.

It won't take long.

We're going to be late.

Sorry.

I got an appointment.

Sorry.

I got an appointment.

Hey, where the hell you taking me? You're going to love this guy he's a genius.

Lets just hope I don't catch nothing from this mother.

Lets just hope I don't catch nothing from this mother.

Here you go.

I'll see you later.

Where the hell are you going? Farouche works alone.

Farouche works alone.

[Doorbell buzzes]

[Doorbell buzzes]

Anybody home? Anybody home? [Door closes]

[Door closes]

You're late, rocker.

Jesus, man, you scared the hell out of me.

You think everyone lives on rock 'n' roll time.

You think everyone lives on rock 'n' roll time.

Is that it? I'm sorry, okay.

Are you farouche? Are you farouche? Take your shirt off.

O.

K.

O.

K.

The sh*t some people put on their bodies.

Each one of these toos tells a story.

It's a bullshit story.

Oh, this guy
-
- It's a story about a drunk guy with $50 burning a hole in his pocket.

We all know that's a bullshit story.

What makes you such hot stuff? You know the answer.

You've seen what I do.

Farouche finds what's inside and brings it outside.

And brings it outside.

If you've got the money and if you're brave enough and if you're brave enough we could do business.

We could do business.

It's up to you.

It's up to you.

Yeah.

O.

K.

, Man.

But I want a tiger.

Ain't your choice.

You see, your skin's got a story to tell, and I'll find it.

And I'll find it.

Is this sh*t really necessary, man? Is this sh*t really necessary, man? Oh, man.

Oh, man.

What the hell is that? What the hell is that? Mmm.

[Heavy breathing]

[Heavy breathing]

Ha ha.

Ooh.

Hey.

Hey.

You're not exactly gentle, are you, man? Pain teaches you how to keep your mouth shut.

Pain teaches you how to keep your mouth shut.

So what's the deal with your eye, man? Is that just for effect? Is that just for effect? It's payment for a tattoo that I did for baby doc in haiti.

He didn't like the story his body told, so he took out my eye with a salad fork.

So he took out my eye with a salad fork.

[Sobbing]

Aah! Aah! What the hell is this? What the hell is this? You like it? It's scarlett.

Did that c**t vendetta put you up to this? Your skin tells the story.

How could you do this? What about my money? f*ck you, as*h*le! f*ck you, as*h*le! You'll pay later.

You'll pay later.

[Door opens and closes]

[Door opens and closes]

Oh, good you're finally home.

Since when did you get so modest? Since when did you get so modest? Well, lets get right down to business.

Nick isn't deal with this sh*t anymore.

If nick wants to talk to me he can do it himself.

I'll deal with him not you.

That's the problem, nick does know how to deal with you.

To him you're still the big bad rebel he worships.

In his mind you two are still in high school.

But this is the real world.

And while he's working his a*s off.

You're missing sound checks and rehearsal and showing up drunk half the time.

That's none of your business.

That's right but nick is.

And nick writes the songs and produces the albums.

And there isn't a record label that wouldn't k*ll to have him.

And there isn't a record label that wouldn't k*ll to have him.

You're trying to break up the band.

We're the hottest group in the country.

You want to throw it away.

What would nick be without danny? Rich and famous.

What would danny be without nick? What would danny be without nick? I almost forgot.

Nick and I think you ought to move out.

Nick and I think you ought to move out.

Take it
-
- Take out a lot of that blue.

I need it more bright all through here.

I need it more bright all through here.

Hey, toland.

I'm going to make up the gig to you.

It's bullshit what nick did walking off the stage.

I appreciate all that, but what does nick say? f*ck nick, this is my band.

He'll do what I tell him to do.

Don't you worry he'll be back.

Sure, danny.

I'll see you, man.

I'll see you, man.

Oh, yeah.

Keep telling me that.

Hey.

Hey.

Big f*cking joke, right! What the f*ck are you talking about? You gave that farouche guy a picture of her didn't you? A picture of who? You told him to give me a picture of scarlett, huh? Big f*cking joke, right? What do you mean scarlett? I mean this.

I mean this.

Jesus! Jesus! It is her.

It is her.

I swear, danny, why would I f*ck with you? Well, how did he know what she look like? I told you farouche is like magic.

He knows what's under your skin.

You swear? I swear.

Look if it's freaking you out why don't you have it removed? I had my ozzie tattoo and it hardly shows.

I had my ozzie tattoo and it hardly shows.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm so damn freaked out.

I can't even think.

I got a great plastic surgeon, do you want his name? Yeah, I do.

Yeah, I do.

I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to go off on you like that.

I'm just I'm just it's okay.

It's okay.

I kind of liked it.

I kind of liked it.

Doc, you know this thing is still burning.

Is that natural? Normally, you'll feel mild pain for a while.

Buti don't like the burning.

When dr.

Roberts removed my tattoo, he prescribed some real good painkillers.

You'll love them.

Huh.

Huh.

That's bizarre.

That's bizarre.

What? What? If you can't get rid of the tattoo, at least you can get rid of her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, nick, you got a minute? No.

I'm on my way to a meeting.

With who? Just a meeting, danny.

It's more important than giving me a minute? It's more important than giving me a minute? You're unfucking believable, man.

You're unfucking believable, man.

Jesus, nick.

The band means everything to me.

Let's try and keep it together, no matter what.

I hate the way we been ragging on each other.

Let's stop it, then.

Let's stop it, then.

To exorcist, man.

We take no prisoners.

We take no prisoners.

Exorcist.

Exorcist.

Nick isn't dealing with his sh*t anymore.

Nick isn't dealing with his sh*t anymore.

And there isn't a record label that wouldn't k*ll to have him.

I almost forgot, nick and I think you should move out.

I almost forgot, nick and I think you should move out.

[Band playing rock music]

[Band playing rock music]

[Humming]

[Humming]

Thought you went to sound check.

Sound check's over, b*tch.

What are you doing here? No! Big shot.

Try to break up the band, huh? Agh! Agh! [Cheering]

[Cheering]

Hey.

You seen scarlett? Hey.

You seen scarlett? No, man.

You mean she's not here yet? No, man.

You mean she's not here yet? That's weird.

Sid.

Call my house.

Get ahold of scarlett.

If she don't answer, go get her.

I got to fix this.

Just do it for me! Joe, is my guitar ready? Joe, is my guitar ready? I f*cking did it.

I nailed that b*tch, man.

Know what I mean? She's out of here.

She's history.

Oh, way to go, danny.

That is so cool.

God, that turns me on.

Don't touch it.

It's k*lling me.

It does that when it heals.

Are you sure? Yeah.

Yeah.

Aah! What is it? What's the matter? Aah! Aah! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! What, danny? I don't see nothing.

What, danny? I don't see nothing.

What? Son of a b*tch! That dirty son of a b*tch! That dirty son of a b*tch! I couldn't find her, nick.

The house is locked up.

I don't think she was home.

Was her car there? Yeah, it was.

Yeah, it was.

Do me a favor.

Try calling her again.

All right.

All right.

Hey, man.

I can't get him out of his dressing room.

The audience is waiting.

The audience is waiting.

Danny.

Danny.

Danny, come on, man.

Sid.

It's ringing.

Come on, danny.

Danny! Come on, man.

You got to get it together.

You got to get it together.

Danny, what's going on? What happened? This is your fault! You sent me to that b*stard! You sent me to that b*stard! Uh! Uh! Ugh! Aah! Aah! Ah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! He'll die, man.

He k*lled scarlett.

He k*lled scarlett.

He k*lled her.

He left her dead, nicky.

No! No! I'll k*ll you! I'll k*ll you! You k*lled scarlett.

That's right, nicky.

I k*lled her twice, man.

I k*lled her twice, man.

Well, nick might have been the groups guitarist.

But danny turned out to be the real ax man.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Still you've got to like where the band is going.

Any day now they'll be appearing on americas chop forty.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Till next time, kiddies, me and mygorageband have got to jam.

You know what they say.

You're never toocold to rock 'n' roll.

You're never toocold to rock 'n' roll.