07x21 - Escape from the Planet of the Turtleoids

[bunniefuu]

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ They're the world's
Most fearsome fighting team ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ They're heroes
In the half-shell ♪

♪ And they're green ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ When the evil Shredder
Attacks ♪

♪ These Turtle boys
Don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half-shell ♪

♪ Turtle power! ♪

[♪♪♪]

We should be safe here, Betty.

SPACE TURTLE:
Wrong again, Bob Collins.

You are doomed.

We Space Turtles
are taking over this planet.

Don't be so sure of that.

[YELLS]

Light. The one thing we
Space Turtles cannot endure.

We must flee.

To our rocket ship.

They're leaving the planet.

Yes, for now,

but I'm afraid we haven't seen
the last of the Space Turtles.

"The end" question mark?

What, couldn't they
make up their minds?

DONATELLO:
All those '50s monster movies
end that way, Raphael.

Man, that was some
serious sci-fi.

I want to see it again.

How many times
can one person watch

Invasion of the Space Turtles?

Especially considering
that we know

a real, live space turtle.

Oh, yeah.

Our little bud Kerma.

But he's not ferocious
like those dudes in the movie.

Yeah, I'll say,

but Turtleoids don't
have the slightest idea

how to defend themselves.

Not exactly a good thing,

considering the main thing
they produce is gold.

And gold is crucial
to their survival.

Even the buildings
on Shell-Ri-La

are made of gold.

Well, now that we've gotten

all the exposition
out of the way,

what do we do next?

I'm worried.

Just about anyone could attack
the Turtleoids for their gold.

You think our little Turtleoid
bud could be in danger?

Well, there's only
one way to find out.

Let's go to Channel 6.

We can try to contact Kerma

with the broadcasting
equipment there.

[♪♪♪]

SHREDDER:
My super sword
is nearly finished.

A blade which could
cut through anything.

Even those
turtles' miserable shells.

Now, for the most delicate part.

Any variation in temperature
could ruin--

[YELLS]

Krang!

What the blazes is wrong

with our power?

Yeah. The juice went out

in the middle of our game
of "Space Geeks."

Oh, and I was winning too.

KRANG:
The Technodrome is running

dangerously low on energy.

I've diverted all power
to my lab.

Hey, why should you
hog all the volts?

Because, unlike the rest
of you meatheads,

I have been working on a plan
to repower the place.

There happens to be
an unbelievably powerful

solar storm occurring
right now.

What good will that do us?

We're at the bottom
of the ocean.

Oh, but up in the city

there's a way of capturing
all that solar power.

The lightning rod atop
the Colossus Building

is made out of a rare alloy

which soaks up energy
like a sponge.

I can turn it into
a massive solar collector.

We'll run a cable
to it and the Technodrome

will be fully powered again.

And what happens when those
accursed turtles try to stop us?

Heh-heh. Did you think I would
conceive a plan this brilliant

without taking them
into account?

DRONE:
Awaiting target data.

What the devil are they?

Hunter drones.

The most lethal
tracking robots ever made.

I had them drop-shipped
from Dimension X.

DRONE:
Data assimilated.

It's going to take more
than a couple of robots

to stop those reptiles.

Au contraire.

In a few hours

our turtle problem
will finally be solved.

APRIL:
I'm sorry, guys,

but our transmitting equipment
is tied up right now.

The only time you could use
it is after 4 in the morning.

When we're off the air.

Looks like we'll have to wait

until then to contact Kerma.

Maybe not, compadres,

check it out. A telescope.

VERNON:
Oh, excuse me.

That happens to be a birthday
present from my best friend

in the whole wide world.

And who might that be, Vernon?

Me.
I should have known.

Hey, now we can check out
Kerma for ourselves.

Michelangelo,

you can't see Shell-Ri-La

through that dinky
little telescope,

it's millions
of light years away.

But it only took us an hour

to get there
in the Turtleoid spaceship.

Well, that's because their
spaceship uses a transwarp drive

which generates a flux
in the space-time continuum.

Excuse me?

[♪♪♪]

Whoa, dudes,
we're about to have company.

Don't you hate it when buildings
drop in unannounced?

That's no building.

It's the Turtleoid spaceship.

Kerma.

MICHELANGELO:
Are we glad to see you,
little dude.

The feeling is mutual,
my reptilian brothers,

for you see,
I have a little problem.

Oh, no, not again.

It would be best
if I explained it to you

during the trip
to Shell-Ri-La.

Totally cosmic, dudes.

BURNE:
There's a giant spaceship
right outside the building.

I know, chief, I know.
[RUMBLING]

Wh--? What's that?

DRONE:
Last sensor reading indicates
targets in this structure.

BURNE:
Ooh, they must the creatures
from that spaceship.

Get an interview with 'em.

[GASPS]

Suppose they're not friendly?

Vernon, don't be a weenie.
They're perfectly harmless.

Now, go, go, go.

[GASPS]

Uh, how do you like
the weather in our city?

Target interference.
Eliminate.

[YELLS]

[ALL SHOUTING]

We've gotta do something

before they tear
the station apart.

Guys, come in.
Come in!

April, look.

Oh, no. The turtles
must have gone with Kerma.

They sure picked a rotten
time to take a vacation.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Those things are going
to put us off the air.

Permanently.

And the turtles are gone.

According to the organic life
form,

targets have vacated
the building.

DRONE 2:
Sensors confirm
non-presence of targets.

We must relocate the targets.

RAPHAEL:
All right, Kerma,

what's your little
problem this time?

You recall how defenseless
we Turtleoids were

when Herman the Horrible
attacked us?

Of course.
We had to deal with him.

And the same thing happened

when that robot Destructor X
was sent after me by mistake.

Yeah, we had to bail
you out of that one too.

That got me thinking.

What if we Turtleoids had robots
like that to defend us?

So I built some.

You built some robots?

Only four so far,

but not one of them
is functioning properly.

I thought perhaps Donatello
could fix them.

After all,
it was he who installed

the pulverizer ray
on this ship.

Well, that shouldn't
be too hard.

[♪♪♪]

Non-existence of targets

in this urban cluster
confirmed.

Logical conclusion:
Targets no longer exist.

KERMA:
I put a lot of time and effort
into these robots, my friends,

I hope you like them.

MICHELANGELO:
Dudes, they look like us.

RAPHAEL:
Well, they say imitation

is the sincerest
form of flattery.

Now, try to attack them,

and you will see
what the problem is.

Well, okay.

[♪♪♪]

Holy guacamole.

They're a bunch
of heavy metal scaredy-cats.

I'd say you have a major
design flaw here, Kerma.

Targets no longer exist.

At last,
the turtles are destroyed.

I'd believe it a lot sooner

if they brought us
their empty shells.

The hunter drones never lie,

and with the turtles
out of the way,

the city's as good as ours.

DONATELLO:
Well, the problem is obvious.

Kerma doesn't know enough
about aggression

to program any of it into
these robots.

I can reprogram them,

but it's gonna be a laborious
mind-taxing process.

RAPHAEL:
Well, have fun.

We'll be off enjoying
ourselves if you need us.

MICHELANGELO:
You know, dudes,

maybe for once Kerma's
little problem

really is just a little problem.

Speaking of which, Kerma,
have you had any more trouble

from Groundchuck and Dirtbag?

None at all.

Ever since they
escaped from prison,

and stole a small spaceship,

they have been no
trouble whatsoever.

Kerma, didn't it occur to you

that they might come
back for your gold?

No, why should it?
[SHIP APPROACHING]

I'll give you one
great big reason.

MICHELANGELO:
I recognize Groundchuck
and Dirtbag,

but who's the big dude?

It's Captain Dredd,

the most feared brigand
in the whole galaxy.

Okay, partner, yeah.

Now, where's that little
old gold machine of yours.

MICHELANGELO :
Cowabunga!

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

Come on, stinkface,

hit me with your best shot.

Hey, don't you make fun

of my prize-winning
good looks, boy.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

Now, that's what I call
throwing the bull.

Come on down and play
in the dirt, turtles.

[YELLS]

[WHEEZES]

Don't come any closer.

He's got Kerma.

KERMA:
My friends, save me.

Those creepazoids took
our cosmic compadre.

[♪♪♪]

KRANG:
The city is as good as ours.

Heh. Oh, boy.

I always wanted my own city.

Can we rename it after me?

We can pretty much
do what we want to,

but first

we must get the Technodrome
re-powered.

To the Colossus Building.

[♪♪♪]

[CAPTAIN DREDD WHEEZES]

Taking the Turtleoids gold
was not exactly the simple job

you said it would be, Dirtbag.

We're going to need
reinforcements.

Nobody defeats the great
Captain Dredd.

Nobody.

LEONARDO:
How soon can you get those
robots operational, Donatello?

I honestly can't say,

but if those g*ons are after
the Turtleoids gold machine,

there may be another
way to stop them.

Remember the force field
generator

that used to protect
this whole city?

Yes.

And I also remember how it got
blown to bits by Groundchuck.

Whatever you're thinking,

it's probably
way too optimistic.

It'll never protect
the entire city,

but I could jerry-rig it

to throw a force dome
over the gold machine.

Aw, nuts.

Why are you doing this to me?

Because we don't like you.

I know I'm just
a meek Turtleoid,

but I can only take so much.

[GRUNTS]

[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

[DOOR OPENS]

I'm looking for a few bad men.

DONATELLO:
Can you believe that
weird-looking contraption

actually produces gold?

[WHIRRING, HUMMING]

LEONARDO:
Nice work, Donatello.

The gold machine is safe.

Yeah, not a moment too soon.
Look.

Kerma?
Oh, my friends.

I've been through so much.

You mean you actually managed
to get free from those g*ons

and steal the ship
from under their noses?

I thought Turtleoids
weren't supposed to be able

to do stuff like that.

They pushed me too far.

Kerma, can it be you're ready
to start defending yourself?

I'm not sure.

Perhaps you could
give me some pointers?

And I better get back
to reprogramming those robots.

KRANG:
With the turtles out of the way,

we can take anything
in the city.

Starting with this building.

ROCKSTEADY:
And stay out.

[GRUNTS]

You know, this is almost
too painful to watch.

[SIGHS]

Now, remember, Kerma,
our Master Splinter says:

"It takes total concentration
to perform these moves."

[SHIP APPROACHING]

Uh, I think we'd better
call it a day.

RAPHAEL:
Well, came back for seconds, eh?

No.
We've come for the gold.

Meet the brute force.

[ALL SHOUTING]

Guys, the robots are ready.

[GRUNTS]

What are you waiting for?
Turn 'em on!

[POWERING ON]

Not us, you idiot.
We're the good guys.

Maybe I overdid it.

Oh, man,

is that the understatement
of the century.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[ALL SHOUTING]

I, uh, guess I made them
a little too aggressive, huh?

Whoa.

Aggressive?
Try psychotic, pal.

Kerma, help us.
Remember your training?

My natural instincts
are too strong.

I can't concentrate.

The turtles will be finished
by their own robots.

It's perfect.

To the gold machine.

[YELLS]

[GRUNTING]
[BEEPING]

Donatello, shut these
metal maniacs off.

I'm trying, I'm trying.

[POWERING DOWN]

Ugh. Can't you get those robots
to attack the right people?

I'm altering their
programming now.

[♪♪♪]

Excellent.

The cable from
the Technodrome is ready

and my modifications

to the spire
are nearly complete.

When the sun comes up,

it will start absorbing energy
from the solar storm

and victory will be ours.

We've got to get
that gold machine.

There's plenty of gold
for us here.

All we have to do is take it.

Okay, uh, I've got
the robots working,

but, uh, there's something
none of us has thought about.

Those creepazoids are tearing
the place apart, dudes.

Okay, but I don't think
this is gonna work.

[POWERING ON]

What the heck?

That's what I was
trying to tell you.

See, those robots
are made of gold

and gold is a very soft metal.

Well, as usual,

we're going to have
to do it all by ourselves.

Yeehaw!

It's a golden roundup.

My beautiful robots.

No!

That's the last straw.

[♪♪♪]

Way to go, Kerma.

Maximum turtle power.

I'm gonna get
that gold machine

by digging underneath it.

KRANG:
The modifications are complete.

We must return
to the Technodrome.

And once it's re-powered

we'll storm the city.

[SHREDDER LAUGHS]

I'm gonna bushwhack you, boy.

[WHISTLES]

Hey, toro, toro. Toro!

Ooh, that makes me see red.

Ooh.

[GRUNTS]

[CHUCKLES]

What a sucker.

Ooh, I've been hornswoggled.

Fiends! Robot wreckers!

[GRUNTS]

I should be right under
the gold machine.

Ah, trapped.

Don't knock yourself out.

We'll just flush him
to the surface.

[YELLS]

Leave my friend alone.

Boy, that's a neat trick.

Maybe I could reprogram
that goon's body

the way I did the robots.

Gnarly notion, dude.
Go for it.

Do you want to be destroyed
along with your friend?

No.

I want you to drop that sword.

What? What the--?

My body, I can't control it.

Oh, don't be so hard
on yourself.

No, no, no.

You can't do this to me.

I'm the great Captain Dredd.

Face it, dude.

From now on,
you're the great Captain Mud.

Let's get these creeps
locked up so we can go home.

[♪♪♪]

KRANG:
The sun is rising.

It's solar energy is already
pouring into the Technodrome.

DONATELLO:
Look at that.

What's going on?

RAPHAEL:
That big cable runs
into the river

and straight into
the Technodrome I'll bet.

Krang and Shredder must be
trying to restore their power.

Kerma, blast that cable.

With pleasure.

Now what?

It's impossible!

No, it's the turtles.

Krang, you fool.

They weren't destroyed,

they were off in space.

KERMA:
My friends,
how can I ever thank you?

You've given me
my self-respect back.

You're totally awesome,
little space dude.

Now, maybe, you can teach
the other Turtleoids

how to defend themselves.

Anyone who messes with us

is going to wish
he'd never been born.

[♪♪♪]

Turtleoids rule!

All right, who's going
to clean this mess up?

Uh, gee, I just remembered
a bunch of things I need to do.

Yeah, I-I-I gotta alphabetize

my comic book collection
and then--

Shut up and get to work.

All right, time to watch

Invasion of the Space Turtles
again.

Again? Uh, didn't we
just live that movie?

NARRATOR [ON TV]:
Turtles. The most peaceful
creatures in the galaxy

until they learned
the art of w*r.

Now they're the greatest danger
the universe has ever known.

You know, maybe we didn't
do such a good thing after all.

Oh, come on. The Turtleoids
can defend themselves now

and that is the end of it.

Maybe.

But is it really the end,
or only the beginning?

Face it, dude.

It's the end.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]