07x08 - The Irish Jig Is Up

[bunniefuu]

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half-shell
Turtle power! ♪

♪ They're the world's
Most fearsome fighting team ♪

LEONARDO:
We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
In the half-shell ♪

♪ And they're green ♪

RAPHAEL:
Hey, get a grip.

♪ When the evil Shredder
Attacks ♪

♪ These Turtle boys
Don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Splinter taught them to be
Ninja teens ♪

LEONARDO:
He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads
Donatello does machines ♪

DONATELLO:
That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool but crude ♪
RAPHAEL: Give me a break.

♪ Michelangelo is a party
Dude ♪
MICHELANGELO: Party!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half-shell ♪

♪ Turtle power! ♪

[♪♪♪]

[WOLF HOWLING]

LEONARDO:
Wow. This is some museum.

SPLINTER:
Yes, my students.

The British Museum is one
of the finest in the world.

Here you may find displays from
every era of English history.

This is a model
of Stonehenge.

The early inhabitants of England

apparently used it
as a kind of calendar.

MICHELANGELO:
Whoa.

Try hanging that
calendar on your wall.

Master Splinter, can we check
out the exhibits on our own?

Of course, Leonardo.

Just remember
that we must leave by daybreak.

[WOLF HOWLING]

King Arthur holding
the sword, Excalibur.

With Queen Guinevere and
the Knights of the Round Table.

Wow! What an incredible sword.

RAPHAEL:
Who's the lady?

LEONARDO:
That's Queen Guinevere.

RAPHAEL:
Wow, she's beautiful.

DONATELLO:
And, uh, also imaginary.

You guys are getting
all caught up in a fantasy.

I mean, Guinevere, Arthur.
None of them ever existed.

You mean none of these
knight dudes are real?

Total bummer.

BOTH:
Total bummer.

SHREDDER:
What's wrong, Krang?

Don't bother me, Shredder,

I'm trying to adjust
this element detector.

This element detector
can seek out any metal on Earth.

But at this moment it indicates
an impossibly large stockpile

of a very rare element,
durinium.

Only the smallest amounts of it
have ever been found before.

And I know you're going
to tell me,

and the folks at home,
what it does.

KRANG:
With that much durinium,

I could power the Technodrome
forever

and conquer the galaxy
with what was left over.

Let's see if I can get closer.

[WOLF HOWLING]

Incredible.

That must be King Arthur's tomb
and the sword, Excalibur.

It's solid durinium.

Rocksteady, Bebop.

Uh, you screamed,
boss?

Get ready
to go to Earth.

We're going to steal a sword.

Why, Shredder, I'm surprised,

you actually anticipated
my wishes.

SHREDDER:
Of course, Krang.

Especially since
they're my wishes too.

[FOGHORN BLOWING]

LEONARDO:
I want my basketball jacket
disguise back.

RAPHAEL:
Me too.

No way, amigos.

I got these disguises
especially for London.

DONATELLO:
This is ridiculous.

MICHELANGELO:
Exactamundo, dude.

We look so ridiculous
that no one

would ever figure us
for turtles.

Hey, I've got a disguise
for you too, Master Splinter.

Ah-ha, I think I will have
to pass up this opportunity.

These London sewers are full
of history. I will explore them.

Gosh, London.

Don't you just love it, Irma?

English history, English
monuments, English tradition.

English men.

Oh, look, the Turtles.

Hi, Turtles.

Hi, guys.

April, Irma.

I don't get it. How could
you tell it was us?

Rockers with green hair
is one thing,

but rockers
with green skin?

What are you girls
doing in London?

Vern sent us to cover

the Prince's Trust
Children's Benefit tonight.

It's the big charity bash
at the Royal Albert Hall.

And they're going to have
the crown jewels on display too.

Would you guys like to come?

Royalty? The crown jewels?
We'd love to.

Meet us in the press booth at 9.

Oh, and fellas?

LEONARDO:
Yes?

Get some other
disguises.

[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

We must find
the sword, Excalibur.

BEBOP:
Uh, gee, boss,
I've never seen you so eager

to please Krang before.

Fool. Do you think
I'm doing this for Krang?

According to Krang's detector,
we only have a few feet to go.

This must be it.
Come on.

[WATER DRIPPING]

That's it.
The sword, Excalibur.

It is mine!

Bow down to me,
King Shredder the First.

You gotta be kidding.

He ain't kidding.

The power to rule
in my hands.

The world is mine!

Uh, boss,
what's in it for us?

How about knights?

Well, if it's all the same
to you, I'd rather work days.

No, you shall be
my first knights.

I, King Shedder, dub thee
Sir Bebop and Sir Rocksteady.

Come, my knights, we have
a country to conquer.

[IN MOCK BRITISH ACCENT]
After you, Sir Rocksteady.

[IN MOCK BRITISH ACCENT]
Oh, no, after you, Sir Bebop.

APRIL:
Pretty impressive, hey, guys?

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

RAPHAEL:
I know I'm impressed.

I haven't seen this much sparkle

since Donatello
turtle-waxed his head.

Hey, these English cars
sure handle good on stairs.

They smash doors
pretty good too.

Hurry.
To the ballroom.

[TIRES SCREECH]

Quickly, get the jewels.

It's Shredder.

He's after the crown jewels.

APRIL:
Quick, Irma, get this on tape.

I am King Shredder.
I hold Excalibur.

None dare defy me.

[CHANDELIERS JANGLING]

Oh, don't feel too bad.

You guys got jewels
of your own.

[LAUGHS, SNORTS]

King Shredder, huh?

Well, I've got something
to crown him with.

Turtles. Even the four
of you are no match

for the power of Excalibur.

[ALL SHOUTING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

DONATELLO:
After him, fellas!

MICHELANGELO:
We'll never catch
Shred-Head now.

LEONARDO:
I think we can put
a hole in his plans.

The tires are blown.
I can't control this thing.

LEONARDO:
They're on foot.

We've got them now.

BEBOP:
The Turtles are right
behind us, boss.

Excalibur has the power
to stop them.

I will bring those
stone lions to life.

[ROARING]

MICHELANGELO:
Whoa, check it out, amigos.

[LIONS ROARING]

RAPHAEL:
I don't know
where they come from,

but I think they're looking
for a midnight snack.

And we're it.

[BOTH ROARING]

DONATELLO:
The lions are made of stone.

MICHELANGELO:
So, like, what do we
do now, dudes?

I don't know about you guys,
but I'm gonna make a wish

that they turn back
into statues.

RAPHAEL:
Good plan, Donatello.

[BOTH ROARING]

They've been turned
into statues.

Say, would you show me
how to do this wishing stuff?

It wasn't Donatello,
it was the strange old dude

with the really wigged-out
threads who did it.

And he just disappeared.

A magical sword,
stone lions coming to life.

We've gotta do some
research at the museum.

Oh, great,
more culture.

LEONARDO:
Shredder must have

King Arthur's sword, Excalibur.

It's him, the elderly dude
who zapped those lions.

"Merlin, magician to
the Court of King Arthur."

He's only a legendary figure.

[YAWNS]

Who awakens me
from my sleep?

ALL:
Whoa. Hey.

You really are
a magician.

Camelot's finest.

Oh, but my skills are a bit
unpracticed after...

Well-- Well, let's see, where--?
Or when, uh, is this?

We're in London in
the late 20th century.

Then I've been asleep
for almost 2000 years.

[SNIFFING]

What is that foul smell
in the air?

Uh, that is the air.

Well, tsk, tsk, tsk, dreadful.

Why if I--
Now I know what woke me.

I was dreaming that Excalibur
had been stolen.

I'm afraid it's no dream.

A villain from this time,
Shredder, has stolen the sword.

Shredding? What an odd name.

Well, no worse than
Winage-tooten-ne--

Dig-a-bol...

Uh, never mind.
What can Excalibur do?

Excalibur's magic
is extremely powerful.

In the wrong hands it could
cause total chaos.

I will return Excalibur
to it's rightful place.

I care nothing
for this Shredding.

Good, then let's go.

MERLIN:
This is London?

What a wonderful place.

And as your guest reporter,
I want to thank you

for this opportunity
to see your wonderful city.

MERLIN:
I know that lass.

'Tis the fair maid
of Estralot.

But so many of her.

Well, actually,
that's called television.

It-- It's a means
of communication.

You're better off
without it.

APRIL:
Hi, guys.

Who's your friend?

[MERLIN GASPS]

How did you escape from
the little boxes, my lady?

Oh, uh--
Uh, no problem.

[WHISPERING]
Who is this guy?

Oh, so sorry, my lady.

My skills are yet a bit,
um, rusty.

Allow me
to introduce myself,

I am Merlin,
master wizard and magician

of King Arthur's Court.

Is this--? Are you--?
Are you for real?

We'll explain later, April.

Right now we've gotta
find Shredder.

Is Shredder
responsible for this?

Following the daring theft
of the crown jewels,

a somewhat unusual series
of events this evening

has all of London aflutter.

People seemingly from medieval
times have begun to appear

in such places as the Tube,

a local car park,
and all over the city.

It's as if the past

were intruding itself
upon the present.

And now for the cricket scores.

Could Shedder's theft
of Excalibur be causing this?

I have no doubt.

The sword has caused
a time shift.

And I have an idea
it's gonna get worse.

If the sword
isn't recovered soon,

the entire world will be thrown
into a temporal black hole.

IRMA:
There you are.

I've been looking for you.

APRIL:
Is this is the best

the car-rental agency could do?

It was a sports car
when I started out,

but before it changed
to this classy model,

I heard on the car radio
that Shredder

is robbing the Bank of England.

You girls go back
to the hotel.

We'll take care of this.

BEBOP:
Uh, I like English banks.

ROCKSTEADY:
Yeah, no standing in line.

[TIRES SCREECH]

[SWORD CHIMES]

Nothing can stop me now.

I have a crown,
I have a treasure,

what more do I need
to be a king?

Of course. I need a queen.

I can't say much
for the acceleration,

but the gas mileage
is fantastic.

Hey, lady.

[SCREAMS]

Come, April O'Neil.
You shall be my queen.

There they go.

Total bummer.
They've got April and Irma.

[WHEEZING]
I am-- 1900 years--

[COUGHING]
Too old for this.

I'll bet Shredder's gone
to the Tower of London.

It used to be
the King's residence.

SHREDDER:
Now nothing will stand
in my way of becoming king.

ROCKSTEADY:
What about Krang?

Krang? Ha!
His power is puny.

No power
can compare to this.

BEBOP:
What's going on?

Who are you?

They may kneel to me.

Hold it right there,
Shredder.

Let April
and Irma go.

[FOOTSTEPS BOOMING]

MERLIN [GASPS]:
The evil black knights.

My magic will dispense of it.

[MEOWS]

A kitten?

Good. Now how about
a ferocious bunny rabbit?

Well, after almost 2000 years,

anyone's entitled
to be a bit rusty.

It's time to rethink
our strategy, fellas.

So, what is our strategy, dude?

Personally, I've been
thinking about a vacation.

You're going to get
a long vacation, shell-back.

Under water.

[ALL SCREAMING]

SHREDDER:
There isn't much light,

but there's enough
to see your turtles...

[LAUGHS]

...falling to their doom.

No!

[ALL SCREAMING]

[♪♪♪]

LEONARDO:
A sunken ship.

If I can get near it...

I did it.

Now if I could
cut these ropes...

[COUGHING]

MERLIN:
Oh, thank you,
brave mutant tortoises.

Or whatever you are.

It's Teenage Mutant Ninja--
Oh, never mind.

With that sword,
Shredder's become too powerful.

We can't stop him
from becoming king.

We might. If we can
get to Camelot.

The legendary home
of King Arthur.

Well, what is there, Merlin?

My book of spells.

With it I can help you
stop this Shredding.

But we must hurry.

If he possesses Excalibur
for a day and night,

nothing can stop him.

MICHELANGELO: Totally awesome.
[THUNDER CRASHES]

RAPHAEL:
I don't know.

I've seen
better ruins myself.

DONATELLO:
The castle's rebuilding itself.

The past is coming
to the present.

MERLIN:
Now to find my book of spells.

If I can remember
where I left it.

Is this what you're looking for?

Shredder, give it up.
You can't win.

[LAUGHS]

I already have won.

You see? The very powers
of the universe are mine.

Do you hear me? Mine!

[CACKLES]

Shredder is too powerful
for us, Merlin.

Can you do anything?

Well, of course.
[WIND GUSTING]

Am I not the greatest wizard
of all time?

Uh...

No, I cannot.

Shredding is too powerful.

What is this?

LEONARDO:
It's King Arthur.

And Queen Guinevere.

I care nothing for an ex-king.
The sword's power is mine.

But not by right,
and so you must lose it.

I need a champion.

You need a champion?
No problemo, king dude.

What about us?

I'm a champion surfer.

Leonardo here
is a champion ninja,

Donatello's a champion brain,

and Raphael's
a champion wise guy.

Strange green creatures.

But my champions you shall be.

MICHELANGELO:
Check it out, dudes.

Teenage Medieval Ninja Turtles.

SHREDDER:
The black knights
shall be my champions.

No, they are not yours.

Your two creatures
will be your champions

against two of my turtles.

Let the tournament begin.

This is gonna be a snap.

[GROWLS]

Huh! Yeah. For me.

You're gonna get snapped.

[CHORTLES, SNORTS]

Whoa.

[SNARLING]

[BOTH GASP]

Everything's okay.

Well, come on and fight, Bebop.

No thanks.
So long, chump.

Whoa!

[♪♪♪]

[SNARLING]

[BEBOP SCREAMING]

At your service,
my liege.

The winner of the first match
is Sir Donatello.

Your turn, Rocksteady.
And whatever you do, cheat.

Hey, hold still
so I can get you.

No way, dude.

This ain't fair.

RAPHAEL:
Hey, nothing in
the Journal of Jousting

says you gotta use horses.

Surf's up. Cowabunga!

Whoa!

Enough of this.
I'm gonna end it now.

[GRUNTS]

Hey, that's cheating, dude.

Is there any other way?

[CHUCKLING]

MICHELANGELO:
Yes, playing fair.

[SCREAMING]

Hey, get me
out of here.

Winner of the second match
is Sir Michelangelo.

You have lost on the field
of honor, Shredder.

Give up the sword.

Never. I will destroy
your champions.

Not if I have anything
to say about it.

Your sword
against my Excalibur?

Gladly.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

What the--?

No!

Excalibur is mine.

Camelot!

SHREDDER:
Attack. Destroy them.

Krang, open the portal.

Well, if it isn't His Majesty,
King Shredder.

Please, I'll do anything.

My laundry?
SHREDDER: Yes!

Clean my quarters, give Bebop
and Rocksteady a bath?

Yes, yes!

[♪♪♪]

ARTHUR:
And you shall always be my green

Knights of the Round Table.

[YAWNING]

I am now I can
go back to sleep.

Wow, what an adventure.

I thought I was going to spend
the rest of my life

calling Bebop "Sir."

Ah, the temporal
disturbance is over.

The world is back to normal.

It seems like it was a dream.

No, it wasn't a dream.

[SNORING]
I'll bet he's dreaming.

Right. Of pizza.

[♪♪♪]