05x21 & 05x22 - Planet of the Turtletoids

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ [ Rock ]

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪

♪ They're the world's
most fearsome fighting team ♪

We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
in a half shell
and they're green ♪

Hey! Get a grip!

♪ When the evil Shredder
attacks ♪

♪ These turtle boys
don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Splinter taught them
to be ninja teens ♪

He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads
Donatello does machines ♪

That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool but rude ♪
Give me a break.

♪ Michelangelo
is a party dude ♪
Party!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪♪

♪♪ [ Ends ]

[ Michelangelo ] Whoa, dudes.
I can just taste that anchovy
and hot fudge pizza now.

[ Donatello ] Why do we always
have to do this stuff
in the dead of night?

[ Michelangelo ]
Hey, haven't you ever heard
of the midnight munchies?

[ Grunting ]

[ Squealing, Snorting ]

Whoa. Check out the weirdo.

He's breaking into
that pet store.

[ Raphael ] From the sounds
he's making, he ought to be
breaking out of one.

[ Leonardo ]
I think we'll have to
teach him a lesson.

[ Barking ]

All right, tubby.
Who are ya,
what are you doing here,

and what's your name,
rank and serial number?

Me Tattoo.

[ Grunting ]

Me look for home.
[ Grunts ]

Whoa! Heads up!

What a show-off,
throwing money around
like that.

Let's take him, Turtles.

Whoa!

[ Giggling ]
Oh! Oh, no!
No, no, no, no! Stop.

- Please!
- Try that with me,
why don't ya?

Whoa!

And I thought this only
happened in cartoons.

[ Grunting, Snorting ]

That's a pretty
heavy argument, dude.

Hi-yah!

[ Growling ]

There's something weird
about that guy.

You're right.
He looks like a human,

but he sounds
like an animal.

Now just calm down, okay?
Let's talk.

[ Grunting ]

Tattoo want go home.

Hey, watch it.
That's a live wire!

[ Growling ]

[ All ]
Whoa!

Now, that's what I call
a neat trick.

[ Michelangelo ]
Oh, outstanding, dudes!

[ Raphael ]
Well, he said
he wanted to go home.

Would somebody mind
explaining what just
happened here?

You don't suppose Krang
and Shredder are messing around
with mutagen again, do ya?

A mutant sumo-wrestling
hamster?

Where do they
think up these things?

And Shredder must have
gotten the hamster
from this very pet store.

That's why he homed in on it.

Hey, dudes. For all we know,
this might be the same
pet store we came from.

You know, sometimes I wonder
if we wouldn't have been
better off...

if we'd just stayed
ordinary turtles.

What? And miss out
being attacked by Shredder
and his g*ons every week?

[ Donatello ]
Well, at least
we'd have had a good home.

[ Michelangelo ]
What's wrong
with the sewers, dude?

Okay, so they are
a little smelly.

And damp.
And disgusting.

But it beats living
in some superdeluxe penthouse
overlooking the park.

I think the pressures
of this job are starting
to get to me.

Tattoo. Come in, Tattoo.

This is Shredder,
your master.

Answer me!

Blast it!
What has happened
to that miserable mutant?

[ Krang ]
Oh, face it.
You've lost him!

We should never
have let him go
on this mission alone.

But, Krang,
we need more mutants
to break into that museum...

to steal that giant ruby.

With it, we can refocus
your new heat ray and finally
free the Technodrome.

Hey. What's wrong
with me and Rocksteady?

Yeah! We're mutants,
you know.

You two losers couldn't
steal the free prize
from a cereal box.

Is the new batch
of mutagen ready?

Yes, but this time
there must be no slipups.

That's why all of us
are going to the city.

[ Shredder ]
Bebop, Rocksteady,
get the transport module ready.

Forget pet shops.
We're headed for
the city wild animal park.

I hope we can stop
at the petting zoo.

Uh, yeah. I especially like
to feed the little bunnies.

[ Leonardo ]
You're wrong, Donatello.

Those little turtles
aren't better off
than we are.

They have to live in cages.

Well, so do we.
This lair is our cage.

Oh, sometimes I wish
I was just
a plain old turtle.

A plain old turtle
leads a rather useless life,
Donatello.

Think of all the good
you've done-- the difference
you've made in the world.

But we mutations
don't belong in this world,
Master Splinter.

The humans don't understand us.

We have to hide
wherever we go,
skulking around in the night.

Somewhere there must be
a place where we can belong--

a place where--
where a turtle can live free.

Listen. If he starts singing,
I'd advise you to switch over
to another channel.

[ Shredder ] Oh, good!
We're here at the zoo.
[ Chuckles ]

It's about time we made
a successful entry.

[ Chittering ]

You spoke too soon!

[ Shredder ]
Bebop, you miserable idiot.

You brought us up
right in the middle
of the monkey house.

[ Krang ]
That veterinary compound should
make an excellent mutation lab.

Now let's get
the equipment ready, Shredder.

Go and bring me
two of the most ferocious
animals you can find.

How about a salamander
and a wombat?

How about a lion
and a gorilla?

Police are baffled
by this bizarre pet shop
vandalism,

which left several
cages broken.

Six kittens, four puppies
and a c*ck...

will be without
sleeping quarters tonight.

I'll have more
on this baffling incident...

in my seven-part
special report:

"Pet Shop Break-ins:
The Next Crime Wave?"

What'll it be, pal?

I'll have a root beer float.

This is April O'Neil,
Happy Hour News,
signing off.

April O'Neil.
[ Scoffs ]

I should be the one
reporting the news.

I know this town inside out.

I know its pulse,
its people, its loves
and its hates.

Some guys just can't handle
root beer floats.

Hmm.

April O'Neil.
Phooey.

Excuse me. Down here.

Yes? What do you want?

I take it you know
quite a lot about
this city's inhabitants.

Do I?
Why, I know this town
inside out--

its pulse, its people.

Yes, I already heard that.
May I ask you
a few questions?

I'm not sure.
Who are you?

Oh, forgive me.
My name is Kerma.

[ Screams ]

Oh, dear. These humans
seem rather difficult.

[ Krang ]
Did you remember
to bring the outfits...

the new mutants will wear
and their weapons?

Of course.

Here you go, boss.
Two wild, vicious beasts,
just like you asked.

[ Krang ]
We must secure them
under the mutagen dispenser.

Ooh! Look!

Moo-moos and duckies!

[ Bebop ]
Let's play with them.

Uh, what's an M-O-L-E?

It's a mole,
an animal that burrows
under the ground.

Hey! This is the same zoo
where we came from
before we was mutated.

Wow.
[ Snorts ]

This place
has great "hysterical"
significance.

And in honor of that,
I say we set
some more animals free.

Besides, it's a great excuse
to blow things up.

Now it's my turn!

[ Growling ]

[ Snarling ]

Oh. Hello there.
[ Snarls ]

I assume you are
two typical earthlings.

Might I ask you
a few questions?

[ Snarling ]
[ Roars ]

Perhaps if you weren't
chained to the wall,
you'd be more talkative.

[ Growling ]
[ Roaring ]

Oh, my. Interviewing
these earthlings...

is more difficult
than I expected.

Yee-ha!

I feel like a new bull!

I don't understand.
One minute I was in my cage,
the next I was out.

And I look
totally different.

Makes perfect sense
to me, boy.

But what happened?
Why are we here?

What is our purpose in life?

Oh, quit getting
philosophical on me.

You're making my horns hurt.

[ Shredder ]
Here we are
with work to be done,

and you two goof-offs
are setting animals free.

Gee, boss.
We was just trying to stir up
some trouble.

There's bigger trouble
to be stirred up.

Now come along.
What in blazes?

Will you look at them critters.

And I thought
we were weird-looking.

What happened to
the lion and the gorilla?

Search me, sonny.
I was hanging around
the old corral.

Then these two
buckaroos set me free.

Me too.
Then we wandered in here and got
yucky green stuff all over us.

Did you two zipperheads
free a mole and a bull?

Uh, uh, well,
as a matter of fact--

We sort of might have.

The other two animals
must have gotten free somehow.

Then these two must have
spilled the mutagen,

and because
they had last been with
these two dipsticks,

they mutated into
humanoid form.

What does it matter, Krang?
They'll have to do.

Here, you two.
Put these on.

Getting a little pushy there,
ain't ya, partner?

Very amusing.

[ Man ] I'm telling you, April.
It was wearing a trench coat
and a fedora,

and it looked like a turtle.

It must have been
one of those four
weirdo friends of yours.

But the turtles
aren't three feet tall.

Maybe they took
a reducing course.

What did this turtle
say to you, Vernon?

It wanted to know
all about human beings.

Why would it ask you
about human beings, Vernon?

You've gotta be one
to know about them.
[ Chuckles ]

I don't like this.
I better let the turtles know
what's going on.

[ Shredder ]
So much for your costumes.
Now you need names.

What do you want to
call yourselves?

The other moles
call me Dirtbag.

And I call myself Groundchuck.

Now pay attention.
I want you two...

to go to the Museum
of Excessive Opulence...

and steal the giant ruby
that's on display there.

And why should we do that,
little buckaroo?

Because I'm ordering you to!

If you don't mind,
we'd rather just
rip this place apart.

Come on, Dirtbag!

Don't just sit there,
you fools! Stop them!

Uh, right, boss.

Gotcha!

[ Both Screaming ]

Whoa! Whoa!

I really dig digging.

Come on, partner.

[ Leonardo ] April sure
sounded like she had to
see us right away.

I wonder what's up.
Whoa!

That building sure is!

[ Leonardo ]
I don't remember seeing
that skyscraper there before.

Yeah, they sure build them
overnight nowadays.

But I'm telling you
it was one of you--
only smaller.

No, sorry, dude.
This is the only size
we come in.

What Vernon means
is that it was dressed
just like you--

whatever it was.

I don't like this one bit.

Yeah, imagine someone
going around ripping off
our style.

[ Donatello ] We better
check this out. It might be
copyright infringement.

Remember, fellas.
We're looking for a little
green weirdo in a trench coat.

Would a giant bull
and a king-size mole do?

[ Donatello ]
Who the heck
are you guys?

I'm Groundchuck,
and this here's
my little buddy Dirtbag.

[ Imitating Cowboy Accent ]
We don't get many mutant bulls
in this here town.

You wouldn't be a-workin'
for a bad hombre named Shredder,
now, would youse?

Never heard of the galoot.
Now mosey along, critters.
[ Grunts ]

You're blocking our way.
Whoa!

Whoa!

[ Kerma ] These earthlings
have proven difficult
to communicate with.

Therefore I will
have to use stronger methods.

This one will not run away.

[ Grunting ]
Touché, you big ox.

Hey! Fight fair,
you sidewinder.

Whoa!

Hi-ya!
[ Grunts ]

Take this!

[ Grunting ]

Pardon me,
but there are a few questions
I must ask you.

[ Leonardo ]
Knock it off,
you big bully.

April, look.
What is that thing?

I don't know,
but the Turtles
are fighting it.

Now, this is news!

Irma, I've gotta get
my Minicam and get down there.

[ All Grunting ]

Hey! This ain't
the way to treat
grade "A" prime beef!

[ Raphael ]
Now, that's what I call
throwing the bull.

Uh, suddenly
I feel kind of lonely.

Yeah. It does seem like
we're starting to run short
on Turtles.

Talk about a bull
in a china shop.

Only there's no bull.

I don't get it.
Everyone's vanished
except us.

I've got a feeling
we're next, compadre.

[ Raphael ] So, you're
the little weirdo who stole
our distinctive look, huh?

Believe me,
I mean you no harm.

Oh, yeah? Then how come
you've got us all trussed up
like spring chickens?

Or better-- prize bulls.

[ Beeping ]
I just wish
to ask you a few questions.

[ Michelangelo ]
All right!
Dynamite pad you got here.

[ Leonardo ]
What kind of place
is this anyway?

[ Kerma ]
Oh, it isn't a place.
It's a spaceship.

Hey, guys.
Let me get some
footage of--

Huh? Where'd everybody go?

Well, this doesn't make sense.
A minute ago I saw
those Turtles...

fighting some kind of
weird mutants,

and now everybody's gone.

I wonder if it was
something I said.

Listen, pal.
Is this trip
really necessary?

Oh, yes. Quite necessary,
I'm afraid.

But I assure you,
I will make the voyage
as comfortable as possible.

[ Leonardo ]
We've already
taken care of that.

[ Gasps ]
You are free!

Exactamundo, micro-dude.

And you've got some
serious explaining to do.

Oh, very well.
I suppose I should
introduce myself.

- My name is Kerma.
- Whoa.

He's a talking turtle!

Oh, come on.
Who'd ever believe
a thing like that?

There ain't a sign
of those two mutants,
boss.

Well, keep looking. You two
boneheads lost those mutants.
Now you've got to find them.

He's such a stickler
for detail.

[ Kerma ] You see,
my fellow Turtleoids and I
have a problem,

which we must discuss
with some typical
Earth people.

So I, uh, borrowed
those two earthlings.

You think those two
are typical Earth specimens?

Well, it's hard to say.
Humans all seem
so different.

Then why did you bring us?

Well, you seem to have
such honest faces.

Where could those turtles
have disappeared to?

And who are
those two weirdos?

- [ Gasps ]
- Talking about us behind
our backs, April O'Neil?

Bebop and Rocksteady?
What have you done
with the Turtles?

Nothing yet.

But when we run into them,
we're gonna do plenty.

In the meantime,
we'll just capture you.

[ Screams ]

[ Chirps ]

Guys, it's me, April.
Come in.

Oh, no, you don't.
You ain't calling the Turtles.

Yo, Turtles!
You're a bunch of wimps.

And you're ugly.
What do you think of that?

[ Beeping ]

Gee, you don't suppose
they're not speaking to us,
do ya?

Uh, you know what I think?

I think
the Turtles are gone.

[ Raphael ]
Kerma, I got
a hot news flash for ya.

You've picked about
as untypical a bunch of Earth
specimens as you possibly could.

You see, we're all mutants.

[ Donatello ]
Genetic aberrations.

Then what is the typical
species on your planet?

They're called humans.
They have hair and big noses
and teeth.

Goodness.
Then that fellow Vernon
from the yogurt shop--

he was a typical,
normal earthling.

Well, I wouldn't
go that far.

Boss! Boss!
We got news.

[ Groans ]
This is not my favorite way
to travel.

I told you to bring back
those two mutants.

We brought something
even better.

Hey, Turtles. Why don't you
come here and see us
so we can bust your beaks.

[ Beeping ]

So?

So they ain't there.
They didn't even come
to rescue April O'Neil.

Could it be that
Groundchuck and Dirtbag
actually finished them off?

Splendid! With the Turtles
out of the way,
the city is as good as ours.

To the Technodrome.

[ Screams ]
Oh, no!

Now look here, shorty.
I'm a-gettin' a mite hot
under the collar...

over this here treatment.

Keep it down, or we'll never
get back to Earth.

I'm a bull.
I need wide open spaces.
I need to ramble and roam.

- I need to break something.
- Two hours ago,
I was in a nice, clean zoo.

Then I found myself
in this weird, new body.

Now I'm headed
for a whole new planet.

So, what next?

As I said,
we Turtleoids
have a little problem,

and Earth may be
our only hope.

You mean that everyone
on your planet is like you--
Turtleoids?

With one exception, yes.

A world of turtles.

Guys! This is exactly
what I was dreaming about.

A place where we turtles
can live free.

[ All Gasping ]

[ Leonardo ]
Well, it sure looks like a place
where turtles would live.

What did you say
this place was called?

It is known as "Shell-Ri-La."

I had to ask.

[ Donatello ]
Imagine, an entire city
of turtles...

living in peace
and harmony!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look. If everything's
so peaceful,

how come they need
a gigantic force dome?

Oh, that's because of
our little problem.

Uh, what little problem
is that, dude?

Be patient.
You will encounter it
soon enough.

[ Instruments Beeping ]

[ Krang ] The great
ruby theft plan failed.
So what else is new?

Who needs giant rubies?
I have a better plan--
to use the city's resources...

for the most gigantic
construction job in history.

And just who is going to do
all this construction?

Why, the Foot Soldiers,
of course.

- [ Chiming, Beeping ]
- [ Krang ]
Forget it, Shredder.

Their tiny electronic brains
cannot assimilate
complex orders.

Precisely.
That's why they need a robot
to lead them--

a robot that is
superintelligent
and utterly invincible.

[ Gasps ]

And just where
are we going to get
such a robot?

That, Krang, is what
we're going to build!

- [ Cackling ]
- I have a feeling this is
going to be a long episode.

Behold-- Shell-Ri-La.

[ Donatello ]
Wow! What a place! This is just
what I always dreamed of.

[ Leonardo ]
Those doors look like
they're made of gold!

[ Michelangelo ]
Yeah! And the windows too!

[ Donatello ]
Even the streets
are paved with gold.

This place must
have been designed
by a dentist.

We gotta get free
and skedaddle out of here.

Don't worry, buckaroo.
I'm a-working on it.

- What's that thing, Kerma?
- That is one of our
numerous alchemy machines.

You mean that
you actually have machines
that can turn lead into gold?

[ Kerma ]
Oh, we could not exist
without them.

The reflected gold light
gives us energy--

uh, just like food.

Come on, Dirtbag.
Now's our chance
to skedaddle,

while the others are jawin'.

Yee-ha!

Give me them wide open spaces!

Whoa!
They must be stopped!

After them, Turtles!

Go, Green Machine!

Follow me,
Groundchuck.

This ain't exactly
what I call wide open spaces.

How are we gonna
follow those dudes?

Uh, anyone know
where we can rent a shovel?

Or better yet,
a bulldozer.

[ Shredder ]
With its skin made
entirely of adamantium,

the strongest metal
in the universe,

even a b*mb won't be able
to put a dent in this robot.

[ Whispering ]
I've gotta get out of here.

Now for the final
section of its hull.

Oh, no.
We're out of adamantium.

In that case we'll use
ordinary steel instead.

But that's the main
control panel. My robot
must have no weak spots.

Stop being such a baby!

It's just a tiny hole.

No one will know
it's there but us.

That's what they think.

[ Beeping ]

Now to activate
the ultimate warrior.

Chrome Dome!

Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.

[ Screams ]

Oops.

Going somewhere,
Miss O'Neil?

[ Michelangelo ]
Sorry about losing
those two dudes, dude.

[ Kerma ]
You did your best.
That is all one can ask.

What is this place, Kerma?

The High Council chambers
of Shell-Ri-La.

You are to meet
with the council...

to discuss how Earth
can help solve
our small problem.

- [ Siren Wailing ]
- Uh, what's that noise?

Are you under
some kind of attack?

Yes, I fear
that our small problem
has returned.

[ Leonardo ]
That's your small problem?

[ Michelangelo ]
I'd say that's a gargantuoso,
humongous problem!

[ Roaring ]

That's your little problem?

Uh, yes.
I'm afraid it is.

We Turtleoids call him
Herman the Horrible.

[ Raphael ]
Why would you want to
call him at all?

I have something new
for you miserable Turtleoids.

We used brute force yesterday.
I thought we agreed...

we were going to try
cunning and subterfuge today.

Brute force is more macho.

Attention,
turtles of Shell-Ri-La.
Herman the Horrible here.

Before my other half
launches a devastating attack
with his new weapon,

you should really consider
how much easier this would be...

if you'd give yourselves up.

No? Are you sure?

It might go easier for you.

Come on.
Let's get on with it.

All right, Turtleoids.
Don't say I didn't warn you.

This isn't working.
The dome is still holding.

Don't worry.
It can't hold out much longer.

Apparently neither can
your little toy.

Oh, well.
Back to the drawing board.

But we'll be back
with an even more
dastardly scheme.

So do consider
surrendering.

Who are--
I mean, is that bozo?

Herman has been
attacking us for months.

He wants to get at
our gold machines
to weaken our power,

so that he might rule us.

But why so nervioso, dude?

Yeah, it's obvious
that creature can't
break through your force dome.

Which is quickly
running out of power.

Herman's weapons
grow more powerful
with each passing day.

It's only a matter of time
before he breaks through
our shield.

Now come.
The High Council
of Shell-Ri-La awaits you.

[ Rumbling ]

Ah. Always nice
to be back in town.

[ Shredder ]
Especially on this night!

By daybreak
the entire city
will be ours.

Have the Foot Soldiers
round up all the steel
they can find.

Bring it to Median Park
at once.

I obey.

Foot Soldiers,
follow me.

Two of our most esteemed
members, Bork and Dwork,
have yet to arrive.

But begin your report
anyway, Kerma.

Our race must escape
from Herman the Horrible...

before the force dome
gives out entirely.

But where can we run to?

Without the protection
of the dome, Herman could
hunt us down anywhere.

And so I have brought
these four representatives
of a distant planet.

Hey, turtle dudes.
[ Kerma ]
We must question them,

learn from them
before we move our
entire Turtleoid race...

and our gold machines
to planet Earth.

[ All ]
Huh?

Uh, Kerma, we have to talk.

You want to move
your entire population
to Earth?

Precisely,
my reptilian brothers.

But-But humans
don't understand turtles.

We four have to
skulk around in disguises.

Where are millions
of you Turtleoids going to hide?

Yeah. The sewers
aren't big enough.

And every criminal on Earth
would be after
your gold machines.

Gold would become worthless.

The international
monetary markets
would collapse.

Millions of
overpaid executives
would lose their jobs.

See? There's a bright side
to everything.

[ Chattering ]

Ah, Bork and Dwork.
We've been waiting for you.

Why have you allowed
these troublemakers
into the council chambers?

They look like
a quartet of spies to me.

How can you say that?
Have you ever seen
such trustworthy faces?

Bah! They don't even
look like real turtles!

They look like--
like someone drew them!

And why are they
wearing masks?

[ Gasps ]
Are they bandits?

I say we execute them!

Fellas, we've got to
convince them that moving
to Earth is a bad idea.

If they relocate to Earth,
it'll be a catastrophe.

Uh, uh, listen, Turtleoids,
uh, scientifically speaking,

uh, there's no way
that-that your gold machines
will ever work on Earth.

[ All Chattering ]

Tell us, Kerma.
Did your gold machine work
while you were on planet Earth?

Why, yes.
It worked perfectly.

[ Chattering Angrily ]

Dudes, I think the jig is up.

This proves
that these four liars
obviously cannot be trusted.

I say we throw 'em in jail.
Book 'em, Dworko!

[ Gasping ]

You. Move it!

You. Halt.

[ Krang ] Excellent.
The construction is going
faster than planned.

In a few hours,
the entire city
will tremble before me,

Shredder, the world's
arch-criminal!

Whoa!
I prefers traveling
first-class.

This ain't
what I had in mind.
I needs grazing country.

Perhaps I can help you.

Jumping tumbleweeds!
What in tarnation are you?

Someone who can help you
find the land of your dreams.

Okay. You got my full attention.

Mine too.

[ Leonardo ]
Who would have imagined it?
The four of us in jail.

Yeah! It's a travesty
of the entire system
of criminal jurisprudence.

Whatever that means.

Actually, I kind of like it.

Are you out of your shell,
Donatello?

Oh, I'm just happy
to be here...

in a world of turtles,
for turtles
and by turtles.

Have you noticed
that the natives
have not exactly been friendly?

Well, with time
they'll get to understand us.

And with time
I could learn to live here.

Dude, get a grip
on your brainpan.

Think of all the things
you'd be giving up.

No pizza, no TV, no video games.

Oh, yeah.
Also no hiding in sewers,

no sneaking around
in stupid disguises.

Fellas, there's no time
to argue about this.

We've gotta escape
before that Herman
the Horrible returns.

Well, what do you know?

A conveniently placed
escape route.

I'll get it open.

My turn, amigos.

Up, up and away, dudes!

All right, bud!
Let's play!

Well, that sure was... stupid.

From heroes to zeros.

My friends,
are you out on parole?

Not exactly, Kerma.
We'll explain later.

Oh. I am relieved
to see you.

Look! The force dome
generator is weakening.

Can't you get
more fuel for it?

Its energy source
is an extremely rare crystal
called trilithium.

I fear we have exhausted
our planet's entire
supply of it.

Then there's no choice.

You Turtleoids
are just gonna have to fight
Herman the Horrible.

Fight him?
With what?

You mean you don't have
anything to defend
yourselves with?

Just our shells,
I'm afraid.

Whoa, boy.
Are these guys
in trouble.

We Turtleoids
are a peace-loving people.

It is not our nature
to fight.

[ Sighs ]
All right. Look. Herman has
two advantages over you:

his size and his weapons.

Now, we can't do anything
about his size,

but maybe we can do something
about his weapons.

Head straight east
and you will reach
Herman's lair.

You will
need this for your return.

If we return.

Raphael and Michelangelo,
you come with me.

Donatello, you go with Kerma
and try to come up with
some way to defend the city.

- Will do.
- Good luck, my friends.

[ Leonardo ]
That cave must be
where Herman lives.

I wonder if he owns or rents.

[ Leonardo ]
There's nobody here.

Sabotaging those weapons
will be a piece of cake.

Uh, dudes, do trees
usually grow in caves?

- I don't think so.
- Then what the heck
are these things?

[ All Gasping ]

[ Snoring ]

Quiet, guys!
Can't you see Herman is asleep?

Let's start sabotaging
these weapons.
But keep it down.

We don't want to wake them.

[ Snoring Continues ]

Boy, talk about
your cheap devices
for generating suspense.

Kerma, I think our best hope
of defending the city...

might be that spaceship.

[ Kerma ]
But that ship
was designed as an ark...

to transport the Turtleoid
population to Earth.

Trust me, Kerma.
You can't go to Earth.

It just wouldn't work out.

But the spaceship
cannot defend us
if we stay.

It has no weapons.

You must have something
in this city that
can be used to fight with--

- [ Thudding ]
- What's that sound?

That is our gold
stamping device.

[ Thudding ]

I don't believe it!
A pulverizing ray!

It's just what we need.
...have escaped.

It's Bork and Dwork!
Quickly, Donatello. Hide!

Ya! Hi-hi-ya! Hi-ya!

Kerma, those four interlopers
you brought to our planet
have escaped.

From my prison!
It's an outrage!
They'll pay for this!

All right, Bork.
Calm down.

Kerma, every moment
brings the threat of
Herman the Horrible closer.

We cannot afford
to have potential
saboteurs in our midst.

- Keep an eye out for 'em.
- As you wish, Dwork.

Oh, dear.

I presume the coast is clear.

They're looking for you.
You had best put this on...

so you can blend in
with the rest of us.

Well, this sure is weird.
I had to sneak around
in disguise on Earth,

and now, here on a planet
filled with turtles,

I still have to wear
a disguise.

[ Groundchuck ]
Open up, partners.
We've had us a change of heart.

Look. We brought you fellers
a peace offering.

Savvy?
It's a hunk
of trilithium crystal,

the stuff you need
to keep your force dome
running...

to protect you from
Herman the Wonderful--
[ Stammers ]

I mean Horrible.
[ All Murmuring ]

Thanks, partners!

Actually,
we was just kiddin'.

It's just a big chunk
of rock salt.
[ Cackles ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Groundchuck ]
Now to find us
that force dome generator.

Faster!
Work faster!

Chrome Dome is working out
even better than I dreamed.

He will be our
mightiest warrior--

as long as no one finds out
about the weak spot
in his back.

The main construction
is almost complete.

All that remains
is the upper section.
[ Burps ]

I have no idea what
those two are building,

but I'm sure
it's not a prison
for crazed world conquerors.

[ Michelangelo ]
Mission accomplished,
compadres.

Now to get back into
Shell-Ri-La city.

Easier said than done,
Michelangelo.

This thing's thicker
than your shell.

Luckily Kerma
gave us this zapper.
Remember?

What a cool dude.
Remind me to give him
the key to the lair.

[ Donatello ]
There. It's finished.

A flying engine?

Equipped with
a pulverizing ray.

You earthlings have
remarkable ingenuity,
Donatello.

Well, some of us
are slightly more
remarkable than others.

Okay. We sabotaged
every weapon of Herman's
we could get our hands on.

Yeah, but as soon as
the dude snaps out of
his siesta,

he'll be heading this way.

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ Raphael ]
He must have set
his alarm clock early.

Brace yourselves, everyone.

Let's hope
our sabotage worked.

All right, Turtleoids.
I'm coming in blasting.

But you still have
one chance.

If you open the force dome,
there will be no need
for senseless violence.

Personally,
I don't care whether
you surrender or not.

I like senseless violence.

It looks like
they aren't opening it.

Fine by me.

Turtleoids, you are about
to be blasted.

Herman, I thought you were
going to check the weapons
before our next as*ault.

Wrong, Herman.
You were supposed to
check them.

It doesn't matter.
I'll use the ray cannon.

Good-bye forever.

I don't believe it.
Who made this piece of junk?

You did, Herman.

It worked!
All that dude's junk
is, uh, junk.

You won't keep me out
that easily,
Turtleoids!

I shall return!

[ Groundchuck ]
Come on, Dirtbag.

There's that force dome
generator gizmo ol' Herman
wants us to destroy.

Well, what are we waiting for?
Let's blow it apart.

Yee-ha!

[ Sizzling ]

Hot dang!
Now that's what
I call a barbecue.

The force dome--
it has vanished.

Our city is totally exposed
to the forces of evil.

How could this
have happened?

Yee-ha!

That there
force dome generator
blowed up real good!

It sure did, Groundchuck.
[ All ]
Huh?

It's those two
freakazoids again.

Partner, this time
you're heading for
the last roundup.

I got a few new weapons,
thanks to Herman.

Whoa! Whoa!

Now where'd
that green-horned
tenderfoot go to?

Cowabunga!

Hoo! I always wanted
to be in a rodeo.

You're finished,
you dirtbag.

Hey! That happens
to be my name.

Wrong.
Your name is Mud.

[ Shouts ]
[ Michelangelo ]
Whoa!

I've been given
a few bum steers,
but you take the taco.

[ Grunting ]

Hog-tied
by a dang-blasted turtle!

How humiliating!

I'll escape
through the sewers.

Wrong move.
Nobody knows sewers
like old Raphael.

He'll never
find me in here.

Oh, I just love
hide-and-seek.

One, two, I hear you.

Tag. You're it.

So, Turtleoids,
the force dome
is finally down.

Your gold machines
are mine now.

All right, twin geeks.
Why don't you pick on
someone your own size?

[ Herman ] Because it's
more fun to pick on someone
who's small and defenseless.

You guys try
to hold Herman off.
I'm gonna launch an air attack.

Hi-ya! Take this!

What the heck?

[ Herman ]
You're finished, Turtleoids.

[ Clanging ]
Huh?

It's-- It's metal.

Donatello, are you there?

I'm right on top of things,
Leonardo.

This Herman the Horrible--
he's some kind of a machine.

Perfect.
Then I'll blast him
with the pulverizing ray.

As for your city,
I won't leave
a single building standing.

- [ All Whimpering ]
- Ha! Look at them hide.

Nothing can stop us now.
Do you hear me? Nothing!

Perhaps we shouldn't be
too hasty in assessing
an early victory.

Pulverizing rays?

What could be causing this?

The Turtleoids have no weapon!

No, but the Turtles do!

[ Both Scream ]

Lucky shot!
[ Gasps ]

So, the Turtleoids
wouldn't dare
fight us, you said.

All we had to do
was get the force dome down,
you said.

Give me a break!
This has been
a really bad day, okay?

And it's about to get worse.

Now let's find out
who Herman the Horrible
really is.

Bork and Dwork?

I thought those voices
sounded familiar.

But why did you do this?
What did you have to gain?

We're sick of just
using gold for energy.

We want real gold things.

[ Cackling ]
Gold watches!

Kerma, take 'em away.

And while you're at it,
take these two
wackazoids with you.

[ Cheering ]

My friends, thank you
for all you have
done for us.

Well, thanks for the use
of your engine.

Are you prepared
to return to your planet?

Well, we three are,
but we can't speak
for Donatello.

He might want to stay.
Are you kidding?

This place
is boredom central--

a real yawn fest.

I mean, no TV,
no video games.

They don't even have pizza.
Give me Earth any day.

All right! Bodacious!

Well, that's one turtle
who's got his head on straight.

[ Shredder ]
This is your wake-up call,
Miss O'Neil.

Don't you wish
to see the finished
construction?

Behold...
the Technodrome Mark II.

You built a mini Technodrome
overnight?

[ Shredder ] It's amazing
what you can accomplish
when you have motivated workers.

Farewell, Miss O'Neil.
It's been nice knowing you.

Why do I suddenly feel
like a sitting duck?

This is our greatest moment
of triumph!

You're right, Shredder.
Nothing can stop us now.

Well, maybe not nothing.

What the heck is that?

It looks like
the Technodrome.

Oh, come on.
That thing's frozen solid.
Besides, it's a different color.

Yeah, and it's also
a heck of a lot smaller.

But it's big enough
to give us a major battle.

Like we didn't do
enough fighting
in this episode already.

Boy, it's a good thing
we installed the pulverizer ray
on the ship.

Come on, Kerma.
Let's turn that thing
into scrap iron.

Hey. Scope it out.

That thing's gonna squash April.

We'll get her.
Donatello, take out
that Technodrome.

Turtle power!

Oh, no. They're destroying
my beautiful, brand-new
mini Technodrome.

Quit whining.
We've got to get out of here
before they destroy us too!

Chrome Dome,
destroy those turtles!

I obey.

[ Leonardo Sighs ]
Well, it's been
an eventful day for everyone.

[ Chrome Dome ]
Wretched reptiles.
Huh?

Just what we needed--
another robot.

It's Chrome Dome.
Shredder built him.

But he has a weak spot.

[ All Shout ]
Look out!

No kiddin'!

Hi-ya. Whoo!

Hi-ya!

What is this guy made of?

Whoa!

Well, it's sure not
sugar and spice
and everything nice.

I'm trying to tell you.
He has a weak spot.
[ Gasps ]

It's the plate on his back!

Got the message loud and clear.

[ Screaming ]

Got ya, dudette.

[ Both ]
Whoa!

Farewell, my friends.
I shall always remember
our adventure together.

[ Rumbling ]

I'm glad to see that you have
a new appreciation for our life
here on Earth, Donatello.

Oh, I sure do, Sensei.
Sewer, sweet sewer.

They call themselves
civilized?

They didn't even have
television.

Can you imagine?
A planet entirely populated
by turtles?

If you put that in a movie,
they'd never believe it.

We now return to
our sci-fi movie,

Planet of the Giant Turtles.

[ Growling ]
[ Screaming ]

I think I'll go
read a good book.

[ All Laughing ]