04x39 - Unidentified Flying Leonardo

[bunniefuu]

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[man on TV]
Good evening, and welcome
to educational television.

Tonight we are proud to
present the award-winning
documentary,

The Wonderful World
of Plywood.

[all grumbling]

Master Splinter,
why are we watching this
totally dreary stuff?

Because, Michelangelo,
one must always welcome

the opportunity to
learn something new.

I already learned something--
I hate documentaries
about plywood.

Hey, look.
Alien Slime Monsters
Go to College.

Now, that sounds
educational.

Well, at least let's
invite April over.
She might want to join us.

A truly titanic
thought wave, dude.

[Burne] You're probably
wasting your time and this
station's money, April.

Most of these
U.F.O. sightings
are bunk.

I know, but there might
be a human-interest
angle in it.

I called the reporter
for the High Falls Gazette.

He's gonna meet me.
Uh, so long, Chief.

[Turtle Com beeping]
The Turtle Com!

April here.
Hi, it's Leonardo.

Care to join us
for some pizzas
and educational TV?

Thanks, guys,
but I'm headed upstate
to a small town.

They reported some
U.F.O. sightings.

Okay, but don't ask us
to tell you how The Wonderful
World of Plywood ended.

I promise not to.
Hmm.

I sense some strange
negative vibrations
concerning April's mission.

U.F.O.s, huh?
It's probably
just swamp gas.

Nevertheless,
I feel something
strangely ominous.

In that case, maybe
I'd better tag along
and keep an eye on her.

Yeah, you just do that.
Meanwhile, we'll rush out

and stoke up on pizza
for the documentary.

Let's hope that doesn't
taste like plywood too.

[April]
“High Falls.” Hmm.
This is the place.

[Leonardo]
I don't want to freak out
the local citizens.

I'll keep April in sight
and myself out of sight.

How come they always
see U.F.O.s in small
towns like this,

never in Times Square.
[rustling]

Oh, no!
Wh-What's going on?

[shouts, grunts]

There's definitely something
weird going on here.

Huh?
[karate yell]

Never sneak up
on a Ninja Turtle.

Oh, my gosh.
I'm so sorry, sir.

Sometimes I just don't
know my own strength.

Oh, great.
Flying saucers,


attacked by a scarecrow...

Whoever said it's
peaceful in the country?

♪♪ [country-western]

Hi, I'm looking
for a reporter

from the High Falls Gazette
named Scoop Oliver.

A reporter, huh?
“Scoop”?

So that's his name.
Right over there.

Hey, Sheriff,
I'm doing an exposé
on the local crime wave.

Did you ever
catch that kid
who was stealing

those extra sprinkles
over at the custard stand?
Not yet, Scoop,

but we've got
a state-wide
manhunt going

with rocket fire and helicopters
and k*ller dogs tracking him.

Are you Scoop Oliver?
More java, sweetheart.
I'm on a deadline.

I'm April O'Neil,
Channel 6 news,
and I don't do java.

Holy...
April O'Neil!
You really came!

Wow, what an honor!

I'm covering some reports
of U.F.O. sightings.

Yeah, yeah,
so you told me.
But like I told you,

there's no such thing--
hogwash.

Now, just let me
show you a real story.

I just happened to have
my press scrapbook
with me here.

Now, this was
my biggest story.

“Bulldozer Stolen
From Tractors-R-Us”?
Fascinating.

Yo, Leonardo!

I guess he already left.
This could be serious.
What if he doesn't come back?

Donatello's right.

How do you divide


It's okay, Leonardo.
Don't panic.

You're not lost.
You're just a little,
well...

[sighs]
You're lost.

Now, think. How would
Master Splinter handle

a situation like this?

He'd relax,
he'd take a deep breath...

[inhales]

then he'd yell for help!

Turtles, I need you!

[static]
Oh, just what I was afraid of!
I'm out of range!

[gasps]
A U.F.O.!

Come on,
little fishies.

Grab on to
Billy Jim Bob's hook
like nice little fellas.

What in tarnation?
More U.F.O.s?

These parts ain't
no place for me.

[both groan]

[both]
Aliens!

These aliens
are big, strong,

and ugly as mud.

Then there was
my first really
big story--

“Man At Garage Sale
Buys Garage.”

Great ba*ls of fire!

The aliens are landin'!
I seen of 'em face-to-face!

Sure, you did.

Now you'll tell us
it was purple with
yellow polka-dots.

No, green,
with a blue mask.
[all laughing]

A green face
and a blue mask?
Hmm.

Not again,
Billy Jim Bob.

This is the third Martian
you've seen this month.

But I did see one!
Honest!

There's the Channel 6
news van!

Spaceship must've been comin'
to pick up that poor
little alien fella.

Oh, I hope
I didn't hurt him none
when I crashed into him.

Did you hear that, boys?
There was a spaceship too!

[laughing]

Hold everything.
That guy's no alien.

So what was that
U.F.O. I saw?

I want you to
tell me everything
about this U.F.O.

Don't listen
to him, Miss O'Neil.

Can't you see his grain
elevator doesn't go to
the top of the silo?

But I did see it!
I tell you, I did!

I can't see!
Whoa!

Oh, big, green aliens
with hump backs
and blue masks.

Give me a break!

But I saw one,
I tell ya.
I did!

And it looked
just like this
here photograph.

Why, this is a picture
of the back window
of this diner!

[all clamoring]

Miss O'Neil,
we got to do something.

That there alien
didn't try to
hurt nobody.

And he looks just like
a certain Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtle

named Leonardo!

I'd better
get out of here
while I still can!

Uh-oh.
It's garbage
pick-up time.

Whoa!

Now, just hold on
a ding-dong minute!

Out of the way,
Billy Jim Bob.

We're gonna catch us
a Martian!
[all clamoring]

Listen, if there is
an alien out there,

it's probably
just as scared of you
as you are of it.

We ain't scared
of nothin', lady.
Now, step aside.

[all clamoring]

Dang blast it!
The alien got away.

Maybe that there
garbage truck
frightened him off.

Scoop, you're not
actually joining
this mob, are you?

Are you kidding?
You bet I am!

This alien's my ticket
to the big time!

Come on, boys.
Let's mobilize
a search party.

[all clamoring]

Ain't you gonna join
the hunt, Dr. Davens?

Hunting? For what?
A Martian
in a flying saucer.

No, but I hope
you catch it.
We will.

I'm going to do
a little hunting
of my own.

Leonardo, this is April.
Come in, Leonardo.

Leonardo, please answer.
I know you're in the area.

Leonardo, are you all right?
What are you doing here?

Splinter sent me to
keep an eye on you.

And I've been buzzed
by a U.F.O.,

attacked by giant cornstalks,
and kidnapped by
a garbage truck!

It couldn't get
much worse, April.

Oh, yes, it could.
Everyone thinks you're
a Martian alien.

Oh, great!
Meet me where the mountain
road crosses the highway,

and we'll figure a way
out of this.

Right, April.

Whoa-oa!

Whoa!

[karate yells]

[chuckling]
No-o-o!

No!
Master Splinter,
wake up!

You were having
a nightmare.

You must find Leonardo
and April at once.

They were headed
for a rural town
somewhere upstate.

Like, which one?
They neglected to say.

Well, that should be
a snap. There are only
about 6,000 of them.

Let's not stand around
wasting time.

Really, dude.
Let's kick into
a “hit the road” mode.

I wonder what's taking
Leonardo so long.

Oh, he's finally here.
Oh, he really should adjust
those Turtle headlights.

Unless Donatello's
been up to some
major overhaul,

that's no Turtle Van.

[screaming]
Help!

That's April's scream.
I'd recognize it anywhere.

April, what's wrong?
Aah!

It's that same
U.F.O. again.

It's gone, April.
It's safe to come out now.
It's empty!

There's that alien now!
Grab the little
green varmint!

Only one way out,
and that's up!

[cries out]
It's up in that tree!

Yahoo!
We got it trapped!

It won't get
away this time.

Where'd it go?
I can't see it.
It's a tricky little nipper.

Sometimes being green
has certain advantages.

Where could it have
disappeared to?

It must've used
its invisibility ray.

Look, there it goes.
It's headed for
Kelsey's barn.

[grunts]
Going up.

It flew up
into the hayloft!

I got a feeling a little
hay fever would slow down
these good old boys.

[clamoring]

Round up the trucks.
He's headed for the pasture.

[grunts]
Oh, what I
wouldn't give

For a nice winding sewer
right about now.

Okay, Clem,
you take Jennings Creek.

Homer, you cut across
Gordon's dairy.
Archie, you follow Fred

along Highway 51.

Oh, if I can just
make it across
this pasture!

Uh-oh.

[snorts, moos]

Whoa-oa!

Hang on, Mr. Martian!
I'm comin'!

Whoa!
Gotcha!

Bury yourself in that hay,
little green fella.

I'll get you
out of here.

You got to be mighty hungry
after all that chasin' around.

A pizza?
How'd you know?

Shucks, I seen E.T.


I know what aliens
like to eat.

Now, look,
I keep telling you,
I am not an alien.

Oh, yeah? Then how come
we're always being
invaded by your spaceship?

[Leonardo]
“Always”? You mean,
you've seen it before?

Dozens of times.
It always shows up
on Hurley Mountain Road.

right next to
old Doc Davens' farm.

Billy Jim Bob, let's get
to Davens' farm, and fast!

Hang on, little green fella.
We're about to bust
a couple of speed laws.

If Splinter's dream is
any sort of warning,

we'd better head
upstate right now.

And that's what we're doing,
as fast as this Turtle Blimp
can get us there.

Come along,
Miss O'Neil.

Dr. Davens,
I strongly advise you
to turn me loose!

So you can rush back
to the big city
and spread your story

about the Martians
in High Falls?

No, thank you.
My whole reason for
building this fake U.F.O.

was to keep these
snooping locals away

from my top-secret
agri-genic research.

“Agri-genic research”?

[Dr. Davens]
With this vita-ray
beam g*n,

I can increase
the size of food crops
astonishingly.

Watch.

[both cry out]

Imagine.
With this
single farm,

I can supply all the food
our region would ever need.

I will be wealthy
beyond all dreams.

But you'll also put
every family of farmers
in this state out of business.

C'est la guerre,
Miss O'Neil.

And think of
the ecological
effect it will have.

All the dams will run dry
supplying water to those
voracious veggies.

Miss O'Neil,
I'm losing
my patience.

People like you have
always stood in my way.

Well, you will
interfere no longer.

Please, Dr. Davens,
for the sake of everyone
living in High Falls,

don't do this.
Save your speeches,
Miss O'Neil.

My agri-genic master plan
will make me the wealthiest
farmer on the planet.

[laughing maniacally]

I'm gonna
see if my, uh,
spaceship is okay.

Jeepers.
If it's working, will you
take me for a little spin?

Sure.
Why not?

Jumpin' Jehosaphat!

I got me my very own
personal E.T.

[knocking]
April, over here.

Leonardo.
Another nosy hayseed.

Take this!

[panting]
I've got to get
to that helicopter.

Oh, I hope he doesn't
hit any ragweed
with that thing.

I'm allergic.

I'm not sure if
I can fly this thing.

[powering up]
It's amazing what you
can do if you have to.

Uh-oh. I'll have to do
something about that.

Sorry.
No hitchhikers.

Wait up, little fella.
You promised me
a ride in that thing.

You just can't
trust nobody.

Well, he ain't gettin'
away with it that easy,

or my name ain't
Billy Jim Bob McJames.

[Michelangelo]
Whoa. Upstate is
“mondo” humongous.

We'll never find him
this way.

Maybe Raphael will have
better luck with Vernon
at Channel 6.

But, Vernon, you've
got to tell us where
April was headed.

[chuckles]
Sorry, green guys.

That information is
strictly confidential.
Company policy.

Vernon.
Buddy. Pal.

We're sure something awful
is happening to April.

Well, isn't that
just too bad?

She knew the job
was tough when
she took it.

Listen, you
scaly-skinned
troublemakers.

That's telling 'em, Chief.
You're saying April
is in trouble?

She's in a town
called High Falls,

about 90 miles
north of here.

“High Falls.”
Found it.

What are we waiting for, dude?
Put the accelerator
to the elevator.

What are you doing?
Turning on your
vita-ray beam g*n.

No!
If they find out

about my super vegetables,
they'll try to stop me!

That's just why
I'm doing it.

Wait up!
I want to
be your friend!

There it goes.
After it, boys.
Don't let it get away.

[all screaming]

[gasping]

What an
incredible story--

“The Attack of
The Mutant Tomatoes”!
Oh, it's already been done.

That'll buy me some time.
Now to get back to the farm
and rescue April.

Whoa! Bogey 'mato
at 3:00!

Could've been worse.
Could've been broccoli.

Uh-oh. Time to bail out.
And me without a parachute.

Jump, little fella.
I'll catch ya.

I feel like Leonardo
and the Beanstalk.

This is getting
repetitious.
But who's complaining?

I wish sure you'd
phone home and tell
your Martian buddies

to quit nourishing
our crops.

Ooh, it's not me!

Dr. Davens is doing this,
and he's got my friend, April!

[gasps]
She's a Martian too?

Well, hush my puppies.

Billy Jim Bob,
read my lips.

I am not a Martian.
I'm a turtle.

A turtle?
[chuckles]

No way. I didn't just
fall off the turnip
truck, you know.

I wouldn't kid you!
I'm not from
another planet!

Uh, right.
And I suppose
those ain't

your fellow aliens
in that mother ship
neither.

[Michelangelo]
Yo, Leonardo!

You been whipping up
a pizza sauce that got
a little out of hand?

Oh, am I glad to
see you fellas.
We've got to rescue April.

Well, the only way
to do that is with...

[all]
Turtle power!

[Dr. Davens]
So, Miss O'Neill,

it appears your little
scheme has backfired.

Soon my giant crops will
destroy every building
in the county,

along with the people
who occupy them.

So much for the theory
that vegetables are
good for you.

[laughing]

And you call
yourself a doctor.

[Raphael]
Doc, I sure hope
you make house calls,

because your next address
will be in the Big House.

The Turtles!
More blasted intruders!

[April]
Look out
behind you, guys!

[all]
Whoa!

[crying out]

Green on green,
my favorite
color scheme.

You got to stop him
before he destroys
the entire town!

Not to worry, April.
The dude won't get far.

Stop.
What are you doing?
I can't see.

Did you get
Davens?

Actually, his giant
vegetables made him promise

to turn over a new leaf--
spinach, I believe.

What gratitude.
I raised them

from little sprouts,
and they turned on me.

That's okay. The only
vegetables you'll be
seeing for a long time

will be the ones
in the prison mess hall!

[Donatello]
Well, with that
growth ray turned off,

those giant veggies will
soon be back to normal.

That's good.
It'll make it easier
to find the Turtle Van.

Wait a minute.
Aliens, come back!
You're my big story!

Shucks,
don't feel bad.

They wasn't really
masked Martians anyway.

They weren't?
Heck, no.

Why, they was
the Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles.

Oh, no!

From now on,
I'll take my
flying saucers on TV.

Where's Raphael?

He's in the kitchen
whipping up a U.F.P.
in your honor.

Uh, don't you
mean a “U.F.O.”?

Nope, I mean
a U.F.P.--

unidentified
flying pizza.
Whoa!

It could stand some
vegetables, dude.

Did you say “vegetables”?

Oh, count me out.

♪♪ [theme]