04x04 - Peking Turtle

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ [THEME SONG]

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪

♪ They're the world's

♪ Most fearsome fighting team ♪

We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
in the half shell ♪

♪ And they're green ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ When the evil Shredder
attacks ♪

♪ These Turtle boys
don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Splinter taught them
to be ninja teens ♪

He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads ♪

♪ Donatello does machines ♪

And that's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool,
but rude ♪
Gimme a break.

♪ Michelangelo
is a party dude ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪

♪♪ [WHISTLING]

Magic Johnson,
eat your heart out.

Oomp!

Careful, my Turtles.

Don't worry, Master.
Our ninja moves

will protect us
from injury.

But who will protect
the furniture from you?

Pass it to me,
Leonardo. I'm open.

Ooh!

Oh, major bummer, dude.

You just ruined
a perfectly good

gumdrop chocolate chip
pizza.

Never mind that.
Get the ball before it...

hits something?

This is April O'Neil,

coming to you from
the Uptown Museum,

where a brand-new exhibit
has just opened--

the Marble Army
of General Chin Chang:

identical marble warriors

from the Ying Dynasty
of China,



and all of them created

to protect the greatest
of the Emperor's treasures--

this jade dragon,

holding the world's
largest pearl--

and General Chang here.

Oops!

Isn't this the most
exquisite pearl
you've ever seen?

Huh! Dames go wacky
over the weirdest things.

It's nothin'
but a piece
of shiny rock.

Not a rock.

It's the calcerious
secretion

of a marine bivalve.

Ohh, thanks for
grossing me out, dude.

Chill out,
Michelangelo.

It's only
an oyster.

A thing like that
comes from an oyster?

My students, there
are mysteries in nature
we know little about.

The marble army and
the world's largest pearl

will be on display
only for a short time,

so hurry on
down to see them.

You'll be glad you did.

Indeed I will,
Miss O'Neil.

Did you hear that,
Shredder?

So, what's so important
about some worm-eaten
old statues?

I happen to know
that they're carved

from an extremely rare
ionically charged
marble.

I'm sure geologists
everywhere are thrilled.

Didn't you see
that statue

flicker to life
for an instant?

If I run the correct
electrical charge

through
the ionically charged
marble,

I can bring life
to General Chang's
stone soldiers,

turning them into an army
of invincible sl*ves.

Uh, gee...you mean
we won't be able
to see them?

Not invisible.
Invincible!

And more importantly,
that giant pearl

is of incredible
purity.

Meaning?

It will magnify

an electrical charge
to such an intensity

as to create
the most powerful
force field beam

ever known,
powerful enough

to pull
this technodrome
back to earth.

Take these
activator devices

and those mutants
of yours

to the museum

and test them out
on that statue at once.

Whoa!

Ooh!

Ow!

Good. This is
General Chang's
statue.

Help me attach
the activator
device.

Uh, right, boss.

Now I'll
bring it to life.

[ELECTRONIC
VIBRATIONS]

It works!

Yeow!
Yeow!

[BEEP BEEP BEEP]

It's safe to come out now...

you sniveling cowards!

Uh, are you sure?

Now, listen.
I want you to descend
into the sewers

and find the Turtles.

Uh, the Turtles?
Now you're talkin'.

What do we do then?

We'll let
the General here
finish them off.

[BEEP]

Now, this
is gonna be fun.

Please, Sensei,
we need you.

What good's
a four-man
basketball team?

I fear I'm not good
at Western pastimes.

Come on, Master Splinter.
Let us teach you

the way you've taught us.

Well, perhaps
there might just be

a lesson
in this diversion.

Ha ha!
All right,
Sensei!

Your weapon,
Master Splinter.

Yeah, that's it!
Keep it up!

Whoa! Most
excellent moves!

Master Splinter!
Wait for us!

Can't you go
any [BURP] faster?

Don't rush me!

There's only
one of me

and a whole army
of them!

What about
those Turtles?

I don't want them
interfering again!

Never fear. I've
already sent them

a sewer surprise
they won't forget.
Ha ha ha!

Hmm. For once,
you might actually

carry out a task
successfully.

Why, thank you, Krang.

Yeah, and I might
begin to like broccoli!

Yeah, well,
if this really works,

I might not need
my little fat-head
friend, either.

Uh, Sensei...
you beat us

nine out of ten games.

Aren't you getting
tired yet?

Perhaps
I have learned

all I can
about basketball

for today.

Far out.

Let's go home
and crash.

An excellent
suggestion...

because tomorrow
we must awaken early

in order
to practice lay-ups.

Oh, Sensei,
have mercy!

Attention, Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Who said that?

That voice sounds
awfully familiar.

I am Peking Duck,

the greatest
kung-fu warrior
of all time.

It's one of the statues
from April's broadcast!

I challenge
you soft-shell
Turtles

to a duel
to the finish.

Peking Duck,
my shell!

Now I recognize
that voice!

That's right,
green teen.

It's me...
[SNORTS]...

Bebop.

And me--
Rocksteady.

Yeah,
I knew it--

the gruesome
twosome.

Let's teach those
mutants a lesson!

That statue
is alive!

Well, it won't
be for long.

Be my guest.

Unbelievable!

I'll handle this.

Yee-aah! Umhh!

Ohh...that guy's made
out of solid rock.

Yeah, just like your head.

Well, looks like
it's all up to me.

Hey! Hey...uh...

♪ Neener neener
neener♪

♪ The shellback
got them mad ♪

[BEBOP] Ha ha!
Yeah. There'll
be Turtle soup

for everyone
tonight.

[ROCKSTEADY]
Yeah!

[LAUGHS]
Oh, boy.

Ain't this neat?

This guy Chang's about to make
an ancient Chinese recipe:

Turtle Kabob.
Ha ha.

I made that
new meat loaf.

Better give up,
Turtles.

Are you kidding?

When we got
the home-court advantage?

Hey! Technical foul.
Hanging on the hoop.

Yeah. For that,
the General gets to sh**t
a couple of free throws.

[DONATELLO] Not anymore.
He's run out of arrows.

But not out of swords.

Oh!

Quick, guys.
Lead him this way.

[MICHELANGELO]
Great. Great.

[LEONARDO]
Quite an echo
in these sewers.

Okay, now jump.

Am I a gifted athlete
or what?

Jump, Michelangelo

Whoa!

Oh, thanks, dude.

Great catch.

All right!

Slam dunk
right at the buzzer!

Okay. Now let's take care
of Rocksteady and Bebop.

I knew we should have
left early to avoid the crowd.

Quick.
After them.

Let them go,
my students.

We have more pressing
business here.

Hey, he dropped this gizmo,
whatever it was.

Hmm.

There's something familiar
about this piece of marble.

I better take it back
to the lab and check it out.

Another moment,

and my army of
stone warriors

will be ready
for battle!

There.
Finished at last.

You will obey me!
Now forward march.

Your left, your left,

you left your wife
and 48 kids.

We've never faced
this tough an opponent
before, sensei.

Yeah, that stone warrior
was a master of
each of our weapons.

Hmm. I wonder
how our enemies
gain control of it.

I think I've got a clue.

This sword is made
of a rare ionized marble.

Krang must have
brought it to life
with an electrical charge.

And controlled it
with this beauty.

[BEEPING]
Uh-oh.
The Turtle com.

Turtles, rumor has it
that an army of marble
statues has come alive!

You mean those
stone warriors
in the museum?

Used to be in
the museum.

Now they're marching
all over the city.

Okay. We'll get
right on it.

I guess you heard the news.

Donatello, how much time
is needed to repair
this device?

Days,
if I really push it.

Then there is
no alternative

but to track down
those stone warriors

and stop them
in any way possible.

No problemo.

We slam dunked one.
We can handle the rest.

Be cautious,
my Turtles.

These are
worthy opponents,

and there is
an entire army of them.

All set to cover that
"stone soldier" story, April?

I sure am, chief.

I'm gonna need
a closed channel,
a remote standby,

and the credit card
for the news-van.

It's a little low
on gas.

You'll need
something else: Me!

I'll go along, boss,

to make sure
she doesn't
foul things up.

Foul things up?
Why, I outta--

He's right, April.

Remember, two--
two heads are better than one.

Even when one of them
is Vernon's?

I heard that.

With which set of ears?

Whoa!

Well, I'd say this exit
is pretty well-covered.

[MICHELANGELO]
Like, how do we
get out now, buds?

Fellas, maybe it's time
to use the pizza parlor
escape route.

Sounds good
to this dude.

What's the delay, Shredder?
Aren't you finished yet?

I'm going as fast
as I can.

Unlike you,
I'm only human.

Ha ha.

What in blazes
is the problem?

A few of my--our troops,
have proven faulty.

I'm making
a few adjustments.

Speaking of things
that are faulty,

thanks to your bungling,
you dunce,

the Turtles have escaped!

And they know
what we're up to!

That's it.
Blame everything on me.

I always do.

[ROCKSTEADY]
Mongolian pizza.
My favorite.

Let's stop and get some!

Hey, no time for eats.

We gotta find
those dumb Turtles.

[GROANS]
What a killjoy.

Let's go.
[SNORTS]

This time we got enough backup
to clobber 'em.

[RAPHAEL]
Why are we hiding?
We can take those guys.

We're saving ourselves
for Shredder.

He's the one
we've gotta stop.

Hey, dudes, maybe we have
time for a quick snack
before we save the world.

Forget it,
Michelangelo.

It's crazy to fight
on a full stomach.

Ha ha ha!

The stupid shellbacks
fell for it.

We're trapped.

All right, dudes.
Let's show 'em
what we got.

[ALL]
Turtles, fight with honor.

Let's see if my fisherman's
luck holds out.

I got one!

Teamwork,
Michelangelo?

And fancy footwork,
dude.

Cowabunga!
Cowabunga!

[BEEPING]

At last.
The final warrior.

[BEEP]

Yes?
What is it?

Uh, sorry
to bother you, boss,

but we think
the Turtles
are beating us.

What?
That's impossible!

[STATIC]

If you say so, boss.

I must think of something.

[STATIC]

You'll think of nothing,
as usual!

Once again, I have
to come to your rescue.

Well, stop nagging
and do it!

Okay. What we need
is a hostage.

Have those stone warriors
nab April O'Neil.

Hmm. Not a bad idea.

Although we've done that
at least 30 times before.

But, hey,
who's counting?

April here.

Vernon and I are headed
for the museum.

No sign of any mobilized
marble statues yet.

Really, April.

Why did you drag me on this
wild goose chase anyway?

I dragged you?

We haven't run into
a single statue yet.

[CRASH]

[APRIL]
Feeling better now,
Vernon?

April, let's get
out of here!

We're trapped.

Trapped?

Turtles,
I need help!

Come in, Turtles!

We're a little busy
right now, April.

We're at the corner
of Sixth and Spring

surrounded by an army of
angry marble soldiers!

Come quickly!

Fun time's over, guys.
April needs us.

How about we flip for this?

Heads I win...

tails you lose.

And you though only
the other Turtles
made witty remarks.

Never let it be said that
we're not tidy Turtles.

Come on, dudes.
April's waiting,
and she's no ninja.

Don't you touch me,
you--you walking
mineral deposit!

Don't let them hurt me.

Please.

We've got to get to April.

They've got her surrounded.

Whoa, dudes.
This could take a while.

Um, boss?

We hate to keep calling in
with problems.

What now,
you blithering idiot?

The soldiers got
April O'Neil and
her news-van surrounded.

But the Turtles
are here, too!

Blast them!
We'll have to regroup.

Attention, soldiers.
Bring me that news-van now!

Hang on, April!
We're coming!

Shredder, take that pearl!

Don't you know
how to say "please''

No, but I do know
how to say, "Nooooo!"

Close enough.

[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]

Soon I will begin my reign
as ruler--No, no, no.

supreme ruler
of the planet Earth.

This will be the end
of the Turtles.

[EVIL LAUGH]

Donatello, how much time
have we got?

Let's see...

Now, it took four minutes
to trash one statue,


four of them.

So at this rate,
it would take exactly,

oh, 12 hours 34 minutes
and 11 seconds

to trash
all 95 of them.

By then Krang will have
carried out his evil plan.

So, like,
what do we do, dudes?

Remember what sensei
has taught us.

"The wise bird does not
hop into the tiger's mouth.

It flies above it."

You mean?
You mean?
You mean?

Right!
The Turtle blimp!

I'm a real wimp,
aren't I?

Not at all, Vernon.

You've been very brave.

I have?

Well, certainly.

Why, you haven't
fainted once.

That's right,
I haven't.

[BURNE]
April! Vernon!

What's going on?
Why haven't you two checked in?

That's Burne.

He doesn't know
the screen is broken.

[BURNE]
I'm warning you.

If you're wrecked
that news-van,

it's coming out
of your paychecks.

Our paychecks?

[GROANS]
That's not fair!

There's the museum, buds.

[DONATELLO]
And there goes
April And Vernon

carried in the van
by these stone soldiers.

Let's try the roof.

Yeow!

Quiet. Have you
gone batty?

[WHISPERING]
No, but this museum has.

[MICHELANGELO]
So exactly what are
we scoping out here?

We're looking for
a power source.

Listen for the sound
of humming.

In what key?

[HUMMING]
Hold everything.

It's right below us.

Prepare to descend.

Why, Miss O'Neil
and Mr. Fenwick.

How good of you both
to accept
my invitation.

Do we have any choice?

Some people just don't
know how to be civil.

I merely wish
to thank you
for dropping in

to see the control room
of my new empire.

[RAPHAEL]
Wanna thank us
for dropping in, too?

The Turtles!

Uhh!

This is where
I shut down the army.

Whoa!

Whoa. That must be
the catalyst

for increasing
the marble's power.

Ow!

Ha ha ha ha!

I have built in all sorts
of protective devices.

Gotcha!
Oops.

Whoo-hoo!
It's hot! It's hot!

Whoa! They must have
kept this in
a pizza oven!

Yo, Leonardo!
Here!

Yaaahhh--owww!

This is some
hot potato.

All units to the throne room
immediately!

Get those meddling reptiles!

Time for a tactical
Turtle retreat.

That ought to hold them.

For about


Ha ha ha!

You don't stand
a chance now, Turtles.

He's right,
you know.

We don't stand
a chance.

What do you say to a little
"Bowling for Pinheads?"

Sounds great to me.

Uhh!
Uhh!

Fools!
Imbeciles!
Cretins!

Hey! That's one insult
too many, boss!

There's only--uhh--
two of us under here.

Uh, could you, um,
get these guys off of us...

uh...please?

[BEEP]

Finally, Turtles,
the end has come!

Now give me the pearl.

Ha! I'd rather
give you this!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

[SHREDDER]
My army!

You've taken away
my army!

Why, I ought to...

You ought to do what,
Shredder?

Uh, boss...

I think we're, like,
alone now.

Hmm. So we are.

In that case,
open the portal, Krang.

Now!

Until next time,
Turtles

Help me out of this,
someone.

I'm stuck.

You know, Vernon,

you remind me of one
of my favorite songs.

I do?
What song?

Turkey In The Straw.

Cute.

Sensei, you've got
to try

this Von Schnitzel's
Mongolian pizza.

It's most perfecto.

Dare I ask...
what is in it?

The usual Mongolian
munchies.

Ox-burgers
and yak cheese.

Hmm. To each his own.

Battle alert!

Hi, guys. I brought you
this little fellow

as a memento of our
adventure.

[DONATELLO]
For us?

Right.

I thought you Turtles
were pretty marvelous.

[GIGGLES]

[TURTLES GROAN]