03x12 - Malice's Restaurant

[bunniefuu]

♪ Daring duck of mystery ♪

♪ champion of right ♪

♪ swoops out of the shadows ♪

♪ darkwing of the night ♪

♪ somewhere some
villain schemes ♪

♪ but his number's up ♪



♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ when there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Darkwing, darkwing duck!

♪ A cloud of smoke
and he appears ♪

♪ the master of surprise ♪

♪ who's that
cunning mind behind ♪

♪ the shadowy disguise ♪

♪ nobody knows for sure ♪

♪ the bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ here comes ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Look out!

♪ When there's
trouble you call d.W. ♪

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous!

♪ Darkwing duck ♪

♪ you better watch
out, you bad boys ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪♪

Stop it. Your face
will stick that way.

Ah, it's a definite improvement.

Watch it. I'll
rearrange your face.

I can hardly wait to see this.

Our children's art on display

in the St. canard museum.

Isn't this a lovely work?

So very peaceful.

Is this yours, honker?

No.

This is mine.

It's called, crusty
flakes to the 14th power.

I'm proud of you.

That'll be worth a fortune.

That kind of obsessiveness

suggests an unhappy home life.

Here's a real masterpiece.

It's about the gruesome
struggle for survival.

What kind of home
life does that suggest?

It's just a painting.

As chief curator, I will judge

the entries submitted for
school day at the museum.

Mom, somebody's in
a painting back there.

Shh, little dear.
Maybe the nice man

will give your
painting an award.

Could I have quiet so
I could concentrate?

Why won't anybody listen to me?

Out of my way, you pest.

The tootoocommontoname
gold statue.

It's gone!

You little thief.

No, it wasn't me. It was her.

She's in here.

Now he's stealing a painting.

O.k., watch your blood pressure.

He didn't steal anything.

He doesn't have it on him.

But he's an eyewitness

to the crime of the century.

What did you see?

What did you see?

Um, well, I, uh...
Um... um..Um...

There was this,
um... yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stand back, everybody.

It's true honker is very shy,

but I've dealt with this before.

Honker... spit it out!

A lady jumped out
of that painting

and took the statue
back in that picture.

Oh, yeah, I buy it.

Shouldn't a certain
crimefighter named darkwing duck

be interested in this?

The excitement must've
overloaded honker's brain.

That explains why he's lying.

Honker can't lie.

I tried teaching him,
but he never learned.

Oh, lie! Oh, my!

I wonder if... well, you know,

gosalyn's influence is
too much for our honker.

How come I'm the heavy?

Yeah. Maybe it's
better if, you know...

If they saw less of each other.

Honker, until you stop lying,

I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to ground you.

No going out to
play, no television,

no food, water,
or sunlight... herb.

Oh, yeah, all right.

I guess we'll still feed you.

Otherwise you're grounded
up something fierce.

I really let my parents down.

They think I'm a liar.

My dad always thinks I'm lying.

He's usually right.

I wish I could disappear.

There's only one way to
prove yourself honest.

What's that?

We'll have to solve
the crime ourselves.

How?

I'm grounded.

Future generations
will be deprived

of those artistic masterpieces.

It's... her!

Where?

In the boat, crossing
the Delaware.

No way!

You're the bane of my existence!

I won't have you enfants
terribles wrecking my plans!

Run!

I wanted the other one.

You've made honker's life

unhappier than it was.

Any second now,

he'll be back with the police

to throw you in jail.

Ah, yes. For such
an absurd child,

only an abstract will do.

Hey!

Sir, I need your help.

Yes?

You again!

What are you doing here?

She came out of
another painting.

Save it for the judge.

Honker!

I can't get... out!

I'll get your dad.

I can only give you $75.

I must have more.

If the Neo-postmodernist
backlash

hadn't caught
pre-antirealism in its wake,

you'd be sitting pretty.

Do I have to steal the Mona Lisa

to get real cash?

Now you're talking.

Mr. Mallard, the thief
stuck gosalyn in a painting.

Even I don't believe this.

I don't know why you
won't tell the truth.

Gosalyn is up in her room.

Gosalyn, come here, please.

Gosalyn!

Oh, gosalyn.

When I find out what's going on,

I may be annoyed.

Um, she's around here somewhere.

When the light hits it,

that looks like gosalyn.

Because it is me.

What exactly is
going on around here?

Aah!

Young lady, get out of
that painting immediately.

Love to, but I'm stuck!

There's the one who put
gosalyn in the painting.

I'm the terror that
flaps in the night.

I'm the tube of cadmium yellow

that's impossible to open.

I... am darkwing... duck.

Release the girl

and return the stolen artworks.

What havoc spawns when art
appeals to middlebrow tastes.

What?

The verisimilitude
of my endeavors

is beyond the grasp of
your bourgeois minds.

Well, hey...
Stealing's stealing.

You may bamboozle my
less-than-literate friend,

but I'm another matter.

I'll bypass that

if you'll confront the fact

that I operate above
society's simplistic rules.

Well, hey, um...
Stealing's stealing.

Uh, that door's not real, d.W.

No. But the pain
I'm experiencing is.

She went in there.

I'm reduced to the banana peel.

I despise creating
such mundane art.

Dad, get me out. My face hurts.

I'll take you home

till I figure out
how to get you out.

Oh! Easy, dad.

I'm getting dizzy.

Thief.

Stop! Thief!

Knock it off.

This is my daughter.

You're crazy, too.

Guard!

The only way to help gosalyn

is to catch that villain.

You will solve all my troubles.

Hold it right there, you
misguided duckalangelo.

Can she do that?

Come on, launchpad, let's get...

Surrealistic?

You're finished, you
rotten Rembrandt robber.

I'm sure my friends
can convince you

to keep out of my business.

Call them off, you
demented Da Vinci.

"Too experimental,"
the critics said.

I'll not be bound by self-imposed
limits of unoriginality.

They couldn't stop me.

I've reaped great rewards
from my experimentation.

I discovered chemical compounds

allowing me to control art.

My depleted finances

have hindered my showing the
world what I can accomplish.

I'm broke.

I've heard of starving artists,

but never starving art.

When I kidnap the Mona Lisa,

I'll have sufficient funding.

Arrgh!

Arrgh!

Watch it, d.W.

I'll get you out.

I believe in exposing
myself to art,

but that was too
close for comfort.

Hey! Over here!

It's lucky the guy who
painted this is dead.

If he wasn't, I'd hurt him.

If I catch you stuck in
another work of art...

I found splatter Phoenix.

Where?

She made a left at
French impressionism,

heading toward
abstract impressionism.

You wait here.

Like I'm going to
miss a second of this.

I have you now, you
wretched renoir.

D.w., I think we're in
gosalyn's painting.

[Rahrr]

Gotta have a long talk with her.

[Rahrr]

Oh, I envy you.

Pain so enriches
the artist's soul.

[Rahrr]

You've got a screw loose,
lautrec. You're crazy.

So was Van Gogh,

and his paintings are priceless.

Help!

Oh, no!

Honker, help us!

I'll take care of this myself.

[Darkwing duck] Honker, no!

It's the big house
for you, little one.

Honker, as soon as we make bail,

you're grounded for life!

Herb!

Well, make that 10 years?

Yes, sir.

Honkster does
time in the slammer.

Gotta hand it to you, jailbird.

Gosalyn's in trouble.

You gotta help
me get out of here.

Sure. Here's what you gotta do.

There's you.

Gosh. Thanks, tank.

Hey, what are big brothers for?

Mom! Dad!

Honker ran away!

If I could reach
my gas g*n... got it.

Ah-choo!

Tsk tsk.

Your tenacity is charming,

but alas, utterly futile.

This painting is devoid
of any artistic merit.

It can only be helped
by turpentine solvent.

No!

Oh, no!

Now onto my enormously
inventive and fertile,

but equally
unrealized felony phase.

Get them out of there now!

Uh... please.

You...

I hope this convict
hasn't been harassing you.

Wait. She's the thief.

The truth is such a
foreign concept to you.

He's not lying, pal.

My ticket to
artistic domination.

No!

Open your mouth,
and this smile gets it.

Hey, put my kisser
back on my kisser.

You have 24 hours
to pay my ransom

for this precious smile.

Listen, featherpuss,
put me back!

[Mouth] You think
I'm a finger painting?

Paint me back.

What a dump.

Shut your mouth, mouth.

[Alarm rings]

What cheap sentiment

stopped me from brushing
this fly from my face,

I'll never know.

Ha! I've had all I
can take off you.

Yaa!

You put the bite on
the wrong mouth.

I didn't think we'd
get out in one piece.

We didn't.

Gosalyn!

I got her brush... you
don't look so good.

Maybe this'll help.

That can't be right.

Let me have that.

Look at the fool.

I fear no detection from
that ubiquitous buffoon.

[Whistles]

Follow me.

You have to be careful.

She has the Mona Lisa's smile.

What do you need, an
engraved invitation?

Get her!

I'll give you a fat lip.

Sorry, dad. Sorry, sir.

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

[Crash]



For all artists everywhere,

I avenge the critics'
intellectual poverty.

Watch out!

I've had it with these
volatile creative types.

In the name of self-defense,

I must paint a cartoon prop.

It's your fault
I've sunk so low.

No!

You have something on your face.

Hey,grazie-rino, sister.

The only art you'll create

is painting license
plates in prison.

Oh, honker, dear,

let me handle this, binkums.

You disobeyed my orders.

Now I'm going
to have to... wait.

He's a liar.

Ouch!

Hey, leave me alone. Mom! Dad!

I'm tellin' ya...
This kid is no liar.

But... hey, good-lookin',
would I lie?