01x02 - I'll Give You a Million

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

NARRATOR:
Man lives in the sunlit world

of what he believes
to be reality.

But... there is,

unseen by most, an underworld.

A place that is just as real

but not as brightly lit.

A dark side.

[laughter,
glasses clinking]

[laughing]

BLAINE: Masterful,
that's what it was.

No one can dish out humiliation
the way you can, Duncan.

The look on
Poole's face

when I said foreclosed
was absolutely priceless.

[laughing]

There's nothing like a good old
public execution, is there?

A shrewd
businessman

knows his limits, Jack.

And if he doesn't,

you'll be very happy
to point them out, I'm sure.

To another
profitable day.

So, what about my offer?

A partnership is going
to be worth millions.

Provided your
buyout succeeds.

I always succeed, Duncan.
You know that.

Oh.

What will it be this time?

Bribery? Sex?

Or a little homicide?

Don't get sanctimonious
with me.

Business is business.

You methods are every
bit as brutal as mine.

Just like two scorpions
in a jar, eh?

[chuckles]

[both laughing]

All right.

So, what do you say?

No. I think I'll have to
pass this one up, Jack.

But I may have a
better offer for you.

Like what?

I'll tell you at
10:00 tonight.

We'll make it a surprise.

I hate surprises.

What did you say?

WILLIAMS: I'll give you
a million for it.

A million for what?

Your soul, Jack.

Your soul.

I said I'd give you
a million dollars

for all the rights
to your eternal soul.

So that's your little surprise?

Have another drink, old man.

I think you need it.

$2,000--
you don't make that shot.

Don't be a fool, Duncan.

There's no such
thing as a soul.

Well, then you won't mind
selling yours to me.

It will be the easiest
million you ever made.

Soul.

Huh, I haven't even thought
of the word

since I was a kid
in Sunday school.

$3,000 on the next shot.

You know, in 15 years
of our Friday nights,

I've never known Jack Blaine
to back off a sure thing.

Back off? Me?

Well, here I am offering you
a clear million

for the rights to your
"nonexistent" soul,

and you are reminiscing
about Sunday school.

Has my old atheist friend

suddenly gotten religion?

Nonsense.

Double or nothing.

All right.

Damn.

WILLIAMS: You know,
the way you're losing,

you could use
that extra million.

[thunder crashing]

Is it cold in here
or is it just me?

More cognac, sir?

Thank you, Richards.

And would you mind turning
the heat up a little, please?

Mr. Blaine seems to be
catching a bit of a chill.

Right away, sir.

We don't want
to add pneumonia

to your other miseries.

What do you mean by that?

You told me so yourself
this afternoon

about that sorry
old liver of yours.

You think I have one foot
in the grave, don't you?

Well, what do you
say there, old boy?

Should I have my lawyer
make up that contract?

Clearly, you've got
nothing to lose.

I know you, Duncan.

There's a trick buried

somewhere in this offer.

I'm just trying
to make a point.

If you clearly believe
there's no such thing as a soul,

well, you won't mind
selling yours to me.

It won't be the first time
you've made a profit

on nonexistent property.

All right, Duncan.

I'll go along with
your little charade.

I think you're getting senile,

but I always say when there's
weakness, capitalize on it.

Well, good, good!

Now, that's the Jack Blaine
I know and admire.

Besides, another million
won't k*ll me.
[laughing]

Well, then I'll have that
contract drawn up,

and you can sign
it on Friday.

Friday?

You're crazy,
you know that?

[thunder crashing]

Perhaps.

To my next million.

To your soul.

[thundering]

You...

[both laughing heartily]

[doorbell chiming]

Well, Jack.

Duncan...

Well how about a
little eight ball before
you sell me your soul?

Would you mind if we got
to the business at hand?

I'm not feeling
too well tonight.

Well, that's not very sportsman-
like, but as you wish.

Let's see.

Oh, here's the good part.

"Within 24 hours of the demise

"of one John C. Blaine,
all rights

"to his eternal soul
shall thereafter

"become the exclusive property
of one Duncan Oliver Williams.

"In consideration thereof,

"Mr. Williams, hereafter
referred to as 'buyer,'

"agrees to deposit
to the accounts of Mr. Blaine,

"hereafter referred
to as 'seller,'

"the sum of one million
U.S. dollars

"immediately upon execution
of this contract.

"If the buyer

"should die before taking
possession of said soul,

"the contract shall
be considered null and void.

"If, however..."--

oh, now, this is
the important part, Jack--

"If, however, buyer should meet
death at the hands of foul play,

"of any kind,

"all monies shall be returned
to buyer's estate

with highest interest
allowed by current law."

Your idea, no doubt.

Just a precaution, Jack.

I remembered your old partner,
Jeffrey Smith,

the suicide...

Or was it homicide?

Um... [coughs]

Fine. Fine.

As you said, Duncan,

easiest million I ever made.

Yeah.

[birds chirping]

Well, Jack, this is
an unpleasant surprise.

I hope you don't mind
my dropping by like this.

No, of course not.

It couldn't wait
till Friday.

Sit down.
Thank you.

I had a sobering visit
with my doctor this morning.

Your liver.

Yes.

Well, have a drink.

He gives me one,
maybe two months.

Never listen to quacks, Jack.

They had this old ticker
giving out years ago.

And look at me,
I'm as mean as ever.

Duncan, I'd like to discuss this
little game we've been playing.

Well, the contract,
you know what I mean.

Now, you haven't succumbed
to those old fairy tales

about a soul, have you?

Absolutely not.

It's just that...

Well, it-it's just that...

my affairs will be
more easily resolved

when... if we can just
forget that agreement.

Out of the question.

A deal is a deal.

I paid you good money
for that contract.

Take the money back.

You can find many more ways
to enjoy it now

than I ever will.

I'm enjoying this immensely.

Please.

You know, Jack,

this is what life
is all about.

Rolling up your sleeves,
getting your hands dirty.

Duncan, you're a cruel
and vicious man.

Cruel and vicious, yes...

but shrewd, too.

I'll get that million back,
you'll see. [laughs]

[door opens]

A telegram for you, sir,
from Mr. Blaine.

A telegram?

Well, old Jack is becoming
a bit of a pest, isn't he?

Well, go ahead, read it.

"Duncan. Stop. You must accept
this offer. Stop.

"Return the contract.
Stop.

I'll give you a million for it.
Stop."

Now let me see if I understand
this correctly.

He'll give me back my million,

and he will give me
an additional million?

That would appear
to be the case, sir.

Well, now,
that's not a bad exchange.

It's well worth the wait.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

May I remind you
that it's Thursday?

That's right.

It's your
evening off.

Will there be anything more,
sir?

Lock up the house.

As usual, sir.

Yes, as usual.

I never had so much fun
earning a million dollars.

[thunder crashing]

[wind whistling]

Richard! Richard!

I told you to close
those windows!

I told you to close the win...!

[wind stops blowing]

[distant thunder crashing]

A draft...

Mm-hmm. Mm.

I can't wait any longer
to enjoy this.

[rattles cradle]

Oh, perfect.

Richard's night off,
phone goes dead.

Next thing you know,
the lights will go out.

[electrical fizzing,
thunder crashes]

[thunder crashing]

[loud clattering sound]

[glass shattering]

[phone rings]

Hello. Hello!

WOMAN:
Mr. Williams.

Who is this?!

'Tis Jenny, Mr. Williams,
Mr. Blaine's housekeeper.

Well, now, Jenny,
how did you poss...?

You know, I just tried
this phone a minute ago,

and it was dead.

The storm is full of demons
tonight, sir.

Well, now, this is
a pleasant surprise.

Let me speak to Mr. Blaine.

I'm sure I have something
to tell that old card

that will make him feel
very happy.

I'm afraid he can't, sir.

What do you mean, I can't?!
Put him on!

I can't, sir.
That's why I'm callin'.

Mr. Blaine passed away
this mornin'.

Dead? Mr. Blaine dead?

Oh, sir, 'twas awful.

Such hollerin' and cursin'.

But he can't be dead!

I just got a telegram.

Yes, sir, he had me send it
last night.

Why, that no-good cheat.

What about my money?
Why didn't you call me?!

Couldn't, sir.
There was so much to do.

[voice cracking]:
Oh, Mr. Williams,
he was supposed to be cremated

at 3:00 this afternoon.

He was what?

'Twas what he wanted, sir.

[sobbing]:
Oh, Mr. Williams, oh...

He got to keep my money
after all.

And all I have left is
a useless piece of paper.

[thundering, electrical fizzing,
glass shattering]

Jenny, can you hear me?

There are prowlers in the house.

Jenny, it is
Richard's night off,

and there are prowlers
in the house.

Get the police immediately.
Send the po...

[line disconnects]

Can you hear me?

Jenny, can you hear me?

Hello, Jenny?

Jenny?

[glass breaks]

[glass breaks]

WILLIAMS:
Who's there?!

Richard...

is that you?

[thunder crashing]

[thunder crashing]

[pounding on door]

At last, the police.

I've come to fulfill
the contract.

I brought you my soul.

You're dead.

I was taken, Duncan.

You're dead!

Please.

He's coming for you.
[thundering]

We have a contract, Duncan.

You paid for it.

No, Duncan!

[screaming]

BLAINE:
You must take it.

[thundering]

He's coming, Duncan.

If you don't take it, he will.

BLAINE: Take it.
Please take it
before he does.

Possession is nine-tenths
of the law.

Take it, Duncan,
before he does.

No, Duncan, it's yours.

He's here, Duncan.

Take it.

Please go away.

Go away! Go away!

Please?

Go away! Go!

[gasping]

No.

[gasping]

[groans]

[eerie laughter]

Here's what I was looking for.

"If the buyer should die

"before taking possession
of said soul,

the contract shall be
considered null and void."

[thunder crashing]

Possession is nine-tenths
of the law.

Isn't that what you said, Jack?

You must have known
I have liens on this property.

After all,

there's the m*rder
of your partner...

among other things.

And Duncan's debts are far
too numerous to list.

I came...

...to collect.

[devious chuckle]

[devious chuckle]

The dark side is always there
waiting for us to enter,

waiting to enter us.

Until next time,
try to enjoy the daylight.