03x18 - Recipe for Disaster/Going Over-Boar'd

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

You hungry?

No, but I'd love to eat.

What are you in the mood for?

I don't know. How about salsa?

Salsa? Salsa!

We don't have any salsa.

What a mook.

We could make our own.

Pumbaa, you need
stuff. Stuff like tomatoes,

like onions, like spices.

Stuff like we ain't got.

We could use these
instead of tomatoes.

Tastes pretty good.

Tangy, but not pretentious.

To most folks, bug
salsa would be gross.

I know it's crazy,

but most folks don't have
the refined tastes we do.

What else can we use?

These little beauties have
always reminded me of onions.

Pumbaa, do you really think
this stuff is gonna wind up to be...

Delicious salsa!

And I know just what to use
for spices... bugs that eat spices.

Mmm, perfect, Timon!

Flea powder, I said.

Timon, what do you
need with flea powder?

I probably shouldn't
tell you this, but...

Timon's middle name is Leslie.

But I'll never tell
a soul. I swear.

I don't think sleeping
with a stuffed monkey

called fluffy is a big deal.

But it's Timon's secret.

Are you quite through?

Almost.

Yeah? How about now?

See you two later.

You knew that was a secret.

Me and my big mouth.

Oh, and, Timon, say
good night to fluffy for me.

Pumbaa, why can't you
keep anything secret?

You told everybody I dye my fur.

You spoiled my surprise party.

You just ruined the
crying game for me.

I'll try to do better with
secrets from now on.

All right, all right, forget it.

Let's eat our salsa.

Get the big bowls, would ya?

Methinks this
survival-of-the-fittest deal

has resulted in some
darn good hearing.

Uh, folks, this is kind
of a specialty salsa,

but, hey, have at it.

When these freeloaders
taste those bugs, they'll faint.

This salsa is the best
thing I have ever eaten.

And that includes you.

Uh, could we get this to go?

You are selling this
salsa, aren't you?

Selling? Selling,
right, selling.

They want to buy our salsa.

Pumbaa, what did I tell ya?

You told me they'd hate it
because it's made out of...

What do you call it anyway?

We call it Timon and Pumbaa's,
uh... Jungle party salsa.

Catchy.

Very catchy. What's it made of?

It's mostly made out of...

That's our secret.

And I do mean secret recipe.

Right, Pumbaa?

Yes!

Hey, it's gone already.

Have no fear.

A fresh batch of Timon and
Pumbaa's jungle party salsa

will be ready for sale
by noon tomorrow.

Pumbaa, I want to make sure you're
clear on what I'm about to tell you.

Are you paying attention?

You have such nice eyes.

Pay attention! You
can't tell anybody

what our salsa is made of.

If they know it's made out
of bugs, we won't sell a drop.

Oh, I can keep
that secret, Timon.

You think they really liked it?

I need some more salsa.

Didn't you buy
some this morning?

I sent it off to a
zoo buddy of mine.

And I gave some to a
condiment salesman I know.

Hey, the world should
know about this stuff.

Can't we find a better
place to keep this?

Hello? You do?

Sure. Buh-bye.

That, my friend, was
our ticket to the big-time.

Oh, was that our travel agent?

No, you mook.

That was better foods
and gardens magazine.

They want to interview
us about our salsa.

Uh-oh. Uh, what kind of
questions do you figure they'll ask?

I'll do all the talking.
You'll do all the no talking.

See, they want you
to spill your bugs.

I mean, your guts. Your guts.

Whatever you do,
don't tell them it's bugs.

Timon, my lips are seals.

Please, please, please
don't ruin this for me.

I'm begging you.

All my life I wanted
to be rich and famous.

And now it's so close,
I can almost taste it.

And it tastes great!

Pumbaa, keep this dream alive.

Keep our secret recipe secret.

Don't tell them
it's made of bugs.

Gee, that's a lot
of pressure, Timon,

but I promise to try
my extra hard hardest.

That's not good enough!

Better foods and gardens.

New salsa of yours
is causing quite a stir.

- Ask you a few questions?
- sh**t.

What's in your salsa?

That's a secret.

Right. You a warthog?

- What are you?
- A meerkat.

Right. What's a meerkat?

That's secret, too.

Your salsa that good?

Taste for yourself.

Mmm, you two might do all right.

Pumbaa, we got it all because
you kept our secret recipe secret.

I'm proud of you, buddy.

So far. Just don't blow it now.

You won't, will you?

You will, won't you?

You can count on me, Timon.

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

Could I get your autograph?

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

I must tell you how much
my family loves your salsa.

In fact, my wife is trying
to duplicate your recipe.

She'll need plenty of...

Don't you have
anything better to do?

No, not really.

Pumbaa, you and I are on our
way to be guests on Ropa live.

You mean on TV?

On the biggest talk
show in the world!

Everybody's gonna be
watching and I mean everybody.

Hakuna matata today, buddy. I
had our people talk to Ropa's people,

and she promised not to
ask about our secret recipe.

So, just sit back and
don't tell them it's bugs.

Today's guests created
the incredible salsa

I know you've all been enjoying.

So, let's hear it for
Timon and Pumbaa.

Oh, welcome to Ropa live.

Why, thank you, miss. Live.

I just gotta tell the audience

that in order to get
these two on the show,

I had to promise not to
ask about their secret recipe.

So, I won't ask what's
in this wonderful salsa.

Don't tell them it's bugs.

Don't tell them it's bugs.
Don't tell them it's bugs.

Don't tell them it's
bugs! Don't tell them it's...

Bugs!

Excuse me?

It's made of bugs!

Fat bugs, white bugs, all
sorts of gross, slimy bugs.

Bugs!

Bugs!

Bugs!

Bugs!

Oh!

We had everything,
Pumbaa. Everything.

And now we've lost everything.

I let you down, didn't I?

You certainly did.

Because of my big mouth?

Everything we lost might actually
be somewhere in your mouth!

That's how big your mouth is.

I couldn't help it!

It was a huge secret,
and I kept it for so long.

I'm not made of stone, Timon.

Well, you know,
Pumbaa, come on, now.

I know I'm not
perfect, but I tried hard.

I really did.

I know you did, Pumbaa,

and you did real good, for you.

Anyway, you did your
best, and that's what counts.

I guess.

Is it, Timon?

You sure?

Sure I'm sure, ya mook.

Besides, we didn't
lose everything.

I mean, hey, I still got
you. You still got me.

And we still got
all this swell salsa.

Well, that's right, and
you know what else?

We got chips, too, because I
hid some in my secret hiding place

that nobody else knows about.

Oh, this is the
life, eh, Pumbaa?

Me and you, bestest best
friends, celebrating our being pals

with a luxurious ocean cruise.

Yep. Who'd have thought we would've
gotten along in perfect Harmony?

We never quarrel and
we share everything.

Say, Timon, wouldn't it be cool if
we were captain of this great big ship?

We could go anywhere we
wanted in the whole seven seas...

With me at the wheel.

Yeah, but of course, I'd be captain
because I like steering boats better.

Pumbaa, there's only
one captain, and that's me.

But you can be my first mate.

Now, I, captain Pumbaa,
think you, Timon,

should be my first mate.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Excuse me.

May I see your tickets, please?

Oh, ha ha, yes, tickets.

Run.

Uh, can't seem
to find them here.

Say, uh, I was wondering... Run.

Uh, would you be so kind as
to rub some oil on my back?

Run.

You're supposed to be running.

I thought you
were talking to him.

Stowaways, eh?

Secure these two somewhere
they won't get into trouble.

I'll deal with
them after dinner.

Aye, captain.

That was the captain, Timon.

Did you see all those shiny
brass thingies he had on his chest?

Yeah, he's so important,
he doesn't even need hair.

It's the brig for you two.

Of course, but after you, sir.

Why, thank you.

Hey!

Mook. Come on, Pumbaa.
Let's find some place to hide.

Whoa!

Think we'll be safe in here?

Oh, yes!

Look, Pumbaa, it's the room
where the captain hangs out.

This is where
they drive the boat.

Ooh! Only nobody is driving it.

I wonder where the driver is.

Well, as of now, I'm driving.

Make way for captain Timon.

I wanna be captain, too.

Sorry. There's only
one captain's hat,

and it fits me way too good.

Besides, in order to be captain,

you have to know all sorts of
nautical, ocean stuff about water,

which direction you're going
in, and most importantly,

you have to be wearing
the captain's hat,

which you will notice I am.

Uh, Timon, do palm trees
grow in the middle of the ocean?

Don't be ridiculous.
Palm trees grow on land.

Now, you see, that's a perfect example
of why you're not captain material.

Pardon the starfish. Jiggle the
jib. Batten down the mainsail!

There goes another
chance of being rescued.

Oh, well.

My serve.

Thanks to my take-charge
attitude, disaster was diverted.

Eat your heart
out, captain kirk.

If your head gets any
bigger, that hat's not gonna fit.

B-B-Bring! B-B-Bring!

Oh, I'll get it.

Hello? Uh-huh. The captain?

Yeah, he's here.

It's for you, Timon.

This is captain Timon.

Hello? Hello?

There's no one here.

♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

This is mutiny.

I could have you teaching dance
lessons on the pleasure deck for this.

Careful, first mate Timon,
or you'll be sent to the brig.

Uh, Pumbaa, watch
where you're goin'.

Uh, I think we hit a
speed bump, Timon.

All the more reason I should
be numero uno around here.

No, I'm captain, and
I say we go this way.

No, we're going that way.

- This way.
- That way.

This way.

At last, my hunt is over.

I've got you now,
you great white beast.

- This way.
- That way.

- This way.
- That way.

You sank my bottle ship.

Oh! Ohhh!

Lost your spot,
Pumbaa. I'm captain now,

and it's gonna be smooth
sailing from here on in.

I don't think so, Timon.

Objects are closer
than they appear.

Come on, move it.

Darn traffic. Pumbaa,
is it still back there?

Yep, still there.

There. That guy's
letting you pass. Floor it!

Quit being a back seat captain.

Whoo!

Pop quiz, Pumbaa.

We're at the helm of an
out-of-control cruise ship

speeding straight for
a gap in the freeway.

What do we do?

What... do... we... do?

Hold on to your poop deck.

We made it. We're alive!

And we lost that wave.

I lost that wave, which is
why I'm the new captain.

Oh!

Whoever's driving
my ship is shark bait!

Whoo! We're alive.

No thanks to you, captain.

I am taking over captain's ship
before something else happens.

Pumbaa, you can
be captain again.

Oh!

I'm captain.

No, me!

You! Which one of
you was at the wheel?

- He was!
- He was!

After I get us back on course,
you two are going swimming.

We've struck something!

We're goin' down!

Abandon ship!

Unsinkable, my tail.

One chunk of ice, and it
went down like a Titanic rock.

Jack!

Rosemary!

Say, isn't the captain supposed
to go down with the ship?

Yeah.

All right, Pumbaa,
I'm captain of this ship,

so I say we paddle this way.

No, I'm captain. That way.

This way.

That way.