03x16 - You May Have Already Won Six Million Bakra/My Meteor, My Friend

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Yep.

Another hard day of hakuna
matata sure works up an appetite.

Yes, it does, Timon.

My stomach's growling
like a lion with a toothache.

Our dinner has arrived.

I'll get 'em, Timon.

I think I'll take a nice stroll,
mind my own business.

Not gonna bother
anybody out here.

Psst. Hey, my friend.
What you got there?

Just a couple of bugs
for me and my pal Timon.

Hmm, man they're beauts.

You know, you could probably
trade them for just about anything.

Maybe even a
lucky lottery ticket.

Lottery ticket?

Glad you asked.
Got a few right here.

Win and you're on easy street
to the tune of 100 million bucks.

Wow!

Not so fast there, my portly
friend. It'll cost you two c*ck.

I couldn't do that. Timon and I were
gonna have these bugs for dinner.

Hakuna matata makes
you real hungry, you know?

Yeah, right. Hakuna whatever.

Look, you wanna
spend the rest of your

life eating bugs or do
you wanna get rich?

Listen, pal, these numbers hit

and you and this Simone can
buy a thousand bugs like those.

Okay, I'll take it.

Serve 'em up, Pumbaa. I'm so
hungry, I could eat a horsefly.

Good news, Timon. I
traded the bugs for this.

That better be a coupon for uncle
Bob's all you can eat bug buffet.

Nope, it's a lottery ticket.
We're gonna be rich.

Rich? Do you know what
the odds are of winning?

No.

Only like a billion to one,

which is about a billion
more than your IQ.

Timon, are saying
that I'm stupid?

Stupid would be a compliment. I'm saying
you're a grade "a" certified mook.

The undeniable king of all mookdom.
Or should I say mook "dumb"?

But, Timon, I did it for us.

Pumbaa, I want nothing, nothing to do
with you or your stupid lottery ticket.

Early edition "Zanzibar
gazette," get your news here.

Horoscopes, sports
scores. Lottery numbers.

I'll take one.

I can't believe it.

I won! I won! I won! I won!

I won! I won!

Now you're being a mega mook,
there's no way your ticket would...

We won! We won! We won!

I believe it is I who won.

You thought I was serious?

You. I was just joking.

You know, just
having a little fun.

You said you want nothing, nothing
to do with me or my lottery ticket.

Look, half that ticket is mine.

One of those
roaches belong to me.

No. I caught 'em, so
according to the rules,

codes, statutes
and law of the jungle,

those roaches were mine
to do with whatever I please.

I believe I'll go
collect my money.

Well, therefore, Pumbaa,
good investments

will protect your
assets, you see?

Yes, and Reginald
would know, Pumbaa.

You see, he's lost his
assets more than once.

I must say, Pumbaa, your home
is fabulous. Absolutely fabulous.

Gee, thanks. I mean, why,
thank you ever so much, darling.

Thrilled you like what I've
done with my little abode.

Smithers, bring on
the hors d'oeuvres.

How very quaint. Caviar
in the shape of bugs.

- Mmm.
- Delicious.

Can't get enough. Just one more.

More bubbles, ladies?

Ahh, this is the life.

I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but
there's a Mr. Timon on the phone.

Ah! My old chum.

Hey, Timon, you won't
believe how great it is to be rich.

I can have all the bugs I want.

I have more bugs
than I need myself.

And I have one
of those hot tubs.

You mean the kind that
makes its own bubbles?

It makes its own bubbles?

Yes.

So how are you doing, Timon?

Me? Oh, just divine. I'm
living in a new place now.

It's quite elegant, really. It's
got central heat, running water

and air conditioning.

Good. Sounds like things
are looking up for you.

Oh, yeah.

This is the life.

Hey, say, Pumbaa, how
about we have dinner tonight?

Great, I'll be right over.

Now wait. Not here,
you mook, your place.

Pumbaa! Pumbaa!

Huh? So glad you could
make it, Pumbaa old chap.

This is where you live?

Yeah, nice, huh?

I thought we'd dine
on a very rare delicacy.

Fillet of sole.

That's a big rat, Timon.

Well, I'm a big success.
Gimme that, you rodent.

I'm not only doing just fine,
but I get plenty of exercise.

How can you live
like this, Timon?

What are you talking about?

This place is great. Yikes!

Well, it does have a nice view.

No, it doesn't. It's a
view of a garbage dump.

My life is a garbage dump.

Don't worry, Timon. I'm rich.

I'll pay to fix up your place.

You? No.

No, thank you, Pumbaa.

I don't need your help.

Help!

I'm not going to fix up this
property for you, Timon.

I'll do it as an investment
like rich people do.

Well, that's a different story.

I'll turn this place into one big
condo. And we'll make lots of money.

Yippee. I'm finally
moving up in the world.

It's looking great, Pumbaa.

Yeah, I put every penny
I have in this place.

But that's okay as long
as nothing happens to it.

Oh, no! Termites.

You lost all your
money on me, Pumbaa.

I guess I was a bad investment.

No, I didn't really fix up your
shack to make money, Timon.

I did it 'cause you're
my bestest best friend

and that's something
money can't buy.

I'm sorry I called
you a dumb mook.

You big mook.

Mook.

You mook.

Mook.

Okay, my turn.

Ooh. Ah.

Hey, I'm kind of tired.

I'll scratch your back later.

We have to get to the
mountaintop before dark.

Okay, Timon, I guess
I don't mind waiting.

Why are we climbing
this mountain?

Rafiki said there's gonna
be meteor shower tonight.

Good, I could use a shower.
Timon, how come I always carry you,

but you never carry me?

Pumbaa, the hip. The bad hip I
got with that lion with the chasing.

And how about that
back scratch you owe me?

Later, Pumbaa, as soon as you
catch us some bugs. I'm starving.

But isn't your turn to
catch dinner, Timon?

Pumbaa, Pumbaa,
Pumbaa, I know it's my turn.

But ooh ow! My foot's asleep.

Now get going before
my stomach falls asleep.

Sometimes I wonder if Timon is really
the bestest best friend in the world.

Oh!

Wow. That was quite an
entrance, or should I say entry.

You okay, pal?

Mm. You sure are warm and cozy.

Eh, Pumbaa, I believe you were
going to find us something to eat.

Oh, sorry, Timon.

Well, see you later. Gotta go.

Huh?

Aww, he's giving
me a goodbye hug.

It's not a he. It's an it.

And as a he, I for one
am still waiting for my food.

Well, okay, Timon.

Guess it's still my
turn to find us dinner.

Although it's been my turn
about 100 times in a row.

- What was that?
- Oh, nothing.

I was just talking to rocky.

Rocky?

Hey, rocky found us some food.

Nice going, buddy.

Buddy? Sometimes, Pumbaa, the
question of your sanity comes up.

And frankly, I do not know
how to answer that question.

Ooh!

You give the best
back scratch I ever had.

And you never get tired
like some meerkats I know.

Will you stop treating
that thing like it was alive?

It's a rock. Just a big
dumb hunk of rock.

Maybe so, but he's a better
best friend than you are.

You coming, rocky?

Whee! This is the
perfect game for us, rocky.

Timon could never play this game

because of his bad hip and
that foot that keeps falling asleep.

His sore nose.

The migraine headaches
that go on and on

until I catch us dinner.

That iron-poor blood that
strangely whacks Timon with fatigue

just when I want
my back scratched.

All right! Maybe I'll go
find a new best friend, too.

I saw this bug first.

I saw this bug first.

- Why, I oughta.
- Why, I oughta.

You're beginning to bug me, pal.

You're beginning to bug me, pal.

Hey, we both like bugs.

Hey, we both like bugs.

Maybe we could be friends.

Maybe we could be friends.

- Best friends.
- Best friends.

So what do you
wanna do now, pal?

So what do you
wanna do now, pal?

- I asked you first.
- I asked you first.

Hmm. This isn't working out.

Hmm. This isn't working out.

Fine. I'm outta here.

Good riddance.

Ooh! Ahh!

Now it's my turn to
scratch your back.

Does that feel good?

Gee, not only do I not know if
you like having your back scratched,

I don't even know
where your back is.

Oh, well, we still have
a lot in common, rocky.

For instance, we both like
to lie around and do nothing.

This is all Pumbaa's fault.

Had to go and make a new
best friend, with a rock no less.

What a mook.

Calls him rocky.
You believe that?

You know, stumpy,
sometimes I just don't get it.

Do you?

Look what I caught
you for lunch, rocky.

Gee, rocky, at least
you could have tried it.

Mmm.

Here, rocky.

Gee, rocky, don't you ever
stop to smell the flowers?

Rocky, is there anything
you'd like to talk about?

Anything you wanna tell me?

Confess to me?

Blame me for?

At least Timon always had
something he could blame me for.

I think we're gonna
be great pals.

Okay, here's my standard deal.

First, we split everything
down the middle 60/40.

Second, you always
do what I want, okay?

Say, isn't it about
time for lunch?

Go get us something to eat.

Wait, wait, wait. We have time
for my pre-lunch back scratch first.

Yeah, with those claw, I bet
you give a great back scratch.

Better than some big
dumb rocks I know.

Not to mention a big dumb
warthog I know or used to know.

That's... that's way too hard.
Why don't you take it easy, huh?

That looked like a friend of yours,
rocky. Does your family live up there?

Do you miss them? Do they
ever drop in to see you? Huh?

Wow, is this a family reunion?

Hi, everyone, I'm
rocky's friend Pumbaa.

Oh, well, guess you guys
wanna catch up on old times.

I'm glad you have your
friends to hang out with, rocky.

Gee, I miss Timon.

Wonder if I'll ever
see him again.

Hey, guys. Up here.
Here, Mr. Leopard.

I'd like you to meet
a friend of mine.

So I tried to scratch rocky's back,
but I didn't know where his back was,

and I tried to share a worm with him,
but meteors don't eat worms, I guess.

Oh! I was a mook, Pumbaa.

I've always made you do the bug
hunting, made you carry me around.

Well, that's all gonna change,

except the carrying around part, I
mean, my back. You understand.

Sure, Timon. Actually, I
like carrying you around,

'cause I know you appreciate it.

I sure do.

Rocky was a nice
guy for a meteor,

but he really didn't need me
the way you need me, Timon.

I couldn't give him anything.

I came to realize that it
feels just as good to give

as it does to get.
Know what I mean?

Come on, you mook.

Let me give you one of those


Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Ooh, ooh, ooh,
there, there! That's it.

What kind of mook makes
friends with a rock anyway?