03x07 - Escape From Newark/Truth Be Told

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Yah!

Ahh!

Gotcha!

Mmm! Well, that was
easy! Ain't it great, Timon?

We got the easy life.
No responsibilities,

no schedule,
fresh air, blue skies,

that whole hakuna matata thing.

This is the life, the good life.

What are you nuts?
This is working for a living.

What are you talking about?

I want to live the
pampered life.

Ooh, you should be careful
what you wish for, Timon.

If you wish for
something, you might get it.

Oh, really? Well,
in that case...

I wish, I wish, I wish,
I wish for the easy life.

You get the
picture? Lay it on me!

Now, then, if you'll excuse
me, I still haven't eaten.

Hello.

Wait, Timon! I
think that's a... trap.

Accomplishment! I
have outdone myself.

Now I can advertise
that I carry exotic pets.

Huh?

Uh-huh! Timon, it's the
lock-up, the big house, the cage!

Don't worry, Pumbaa.
I'll get us out of here.

Hey, you big lummox, you
just rousted us out of our home.

Exactly who do
you think you are?

I think that I am pet
store owner, quint

and that you are now pets
number 0607 and 0608.

My property!

Lock up!

Why I ought to...
hey! Put me down!

Get me out of this thing!

You are going to
hear from our lawyer!

Yeah. Oooh.

Ha ha! Mmm... nice.

This is unconstitutional!
Ooh! Stop it!

You will pay for these
offenses, right, Timon?

Yes, whatever you say, Pumbaa.

Ooh, ahh. A little lower,
please. Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

You villain! You're
violating our rights!

And it feels really good.

Aah!

Air-conditioned cages.

Private bathrooms.

Grubs on demand!

They do everything
for you here, Pumbaa.

This is a dream come true!

I want to go home!

Do you need your skull examined?

This place is in
dictionary under "perfect."

Timon, we are prisoners. I don't
want to stay here one more minute.

I'm going to lunch.
See you in an hour.

Security system is armed.
You have ten seconds to exit.

Wow! Our generous host even has
pressure-detector things in the floor.

Looks like we found
a nice, safe home.

We'll be protected here
for the rest of our lives.

No, Timon! If he's never gonna
let us out, then we got to escape!

Sorry, pal, but now that
I got the pampered life,

there is no way this little
meerkat is giving it up.

Is that clear?

But, Timon!

Escape if you want,
Pumbaa, but I'm not going.

Pumbaa, you need
to relax, my brother.

Why not nevermind all this
escape business and rest?

No matter how cushy it
is in here, I got to get out!

I must escape!

There, there, old friend.
There is no escape.

Don't you see? This
is the perfect life for us.

This is what we were meant to
do, lay around all day and eat.

This is our destiny.

It's not my destiny, Timon,
and I'm telling you I'm escaping...

With or without you.

Fine. Be that way.

Hey, Pumbaa, have you tried
the chocolate-covered aphids?

Pumbaa?

Pumbaa!

I'm escaping with
or without you!

With or without you!

He's left me here
all by myself. Alone!

What was I thinking? I gave
up my bestest best pal for this?

What am I going to do?

There's still room for
one more to escape.

Pumbaa! You're back!

Of course!

You are the only one really
qualified to carry out my escape plan.

Me? I am the ideal
master of escape?

Well, you're the only
one scrawny enough

to fit through these
skinny, little air vents.

But... no. You don't
want to escape.

I changed my mind, Pumbaa.

If you don't want to
be here, neither do I.

Pass the word, everybody.
The escape is on.

You sure you still
want to do this?

We're breaking out
of this joint, Pumbaa.

All of us.

You are a credit to the
animal kingdom, brave Timon.

Go! Be victorious!

Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!

Pumbaa, let me down easy.

Wahhh!

Well, here goes nothing.

Meow!

Good job, Timon! You got
everybody out all by yourself.

Yeah, yeah. Can we go, please?

You bet! Just let me
tie this to something.

What are you looking at?

Timon, you're not supposed
to be thinking of food right now.

Hey, if I got to leave this joint,
I'm taking something with...

Oops!

Escapement!

You! I should have known!

What do we do? What do we do?

We're out of here!

Front door closing in
t-minus five seconds.

Nooo!

I will regain control! I will!

The self destruct feature
has been activated. Thank you.

Mistakement.

I'm glad you decided
to break out too, Timon.

Now we can feast at
the banquet that is life.

Yeah, feast! Great!

We just need a table for 47.

Well, this is our big
night, buddy boy!

The best friendship
of the year award.

Our night to stand
up and be noticed.

I knew we'd win eventually.

I mean, we've been bestest best
friends as long as I can remember.

Here. Let me get
that for you, pal.

Thanks, old buddy.

What are friends for?

Hoo hoo!

Ah, Rafiki,

I see you're on your way to the
friendship of the year banquet.

Yes, Zazu, I am the host this year and,
uh, I've been working on some jokes.

Oh! It's going to take
more than corny jokes

to make the friendship of
the year banquet exciting.

Every year it's always the same,

two friends win the award for
the best friendship in the jungle,

then they spend the whole
evening telling everyone

how wonderful the other is.

Dull, Rafiki! Tedious!

Yes, I know.

This year, it's Timon
and Pumbaa, you know.

So? It'll be no different.

Hmmm...

Perhaps I can find a
way to liven things up.

Welcome, one and all, to the
friendship of the year banquet.

It is my pleasure to
be your host tonight.

I walk all the way
from pride rock

and boy, oh boy, is
my walking stick tired.

Now, take my mate... please.

Oh, I k*ll me!

Is this thing on?

I know you're out there. I
can hear you picking bugs

out of each other's fur.

But seriously, we are
here tonight to honor

the finest friendship
on the Serengeti.

So, let us hear it for
Timon and Pumbaa!

So, boys, tell us what
is the secret of your long

and to say the very
least, eventful friendship?

Well, that's easy, Rafiki.

The secret to our
friendship is... Honesty.

That's brilliant,
old pal and true.

We are always honest
with each other, aren't we?

Oh, yeah and we have total
respect for each other right, buddy?

And admiration.

How true.

My buddy Timon is so smart...

Every year, the same thing,
endless, shallow compliments.

Yeah, this kind of honesty
doesn't come along every day.

Well, that's the best
part about our friendship,

complete honesty.

Honesty. Huh!

Let us just see how
honest they can be.

Tsetse, tsetse, tsetse fly,
make the boys unable to lie.

This guy here is more friendly

than a politician who
sells insurance on the side.

Did any of you ever
see a meerkat so sleek?

Why, seals come ashore just to
get grooming tips from him and...

Ow!

And, of course, the truth
is my handsome friend

Pumbaa here... Ow!

Eh, is really not
very attractive at all.

Ah! Uh... no! No,
no, no, no! I'm sorry,

what I meant to say is
Pumbaa's not just funny-looking,

he's ugly even for a warthog,
which is saying something!

Ah!

See, we can tell the truth, because
that's what good friends can do.

I don't mind hearing the truth

from a feeble, little flea bag
who thinks he's right all the time,

even though he's always wrong.

Hey!

Why did I say that, good,
old, puny pal of mine?

Why? I didn't want to.

Yes, I did. No, I didn't.

Yes, I did. No! Yes! No! Yes!

They are really being honest.

They can't help themselves.

Snap out of it, you mook!

That's better. Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah!

I was telling you about
Timon being a weak,

little weasel... uh, no!

I mean, wimp! No, I mean...

You two must be very good friends
to say such things about each other.

But it's time to eat.

Let us be sure to place
plenty of mashed potato bugs

and c*ck chili in front of
our honored guests, shall we?

So you think I'm ugly.

I've never heard any of this
puny, scrawny stuff before

or this "always
thinks he's right" stuff.

Or am I wrong about that too?

No, you're not wrong.

I'm just surprised you heard
me with those big, goofy ears.

Oh, very nice.

Big talk for a guy with nostrils
that could suck up a tree stump!

I'm just glad I found
out how you really feel.

There's still plenty of time
to cut you out of my will.

Oh, yeah? What were
you going to leave me?

- Your stench?
- Take that back!

Make me!

Well, now you've really
done it, bacon brain!

What? What?

You think they're still going to
give us the great gourd of friendship

after what everybody
heard you say?

Me? What about what you said?

I just told the truth.

So did I.

I'll be right back!

Playing hardball, are we?

♪ Happy, happy
birthday to you, to you! ♪

But it's not my birthday.

To tell you the truth,
I kind of knew that.

Feeling pretty safe
under the table, are we?

Alright!

Come on, let's hear your
answer to that one, friend.

You just used my best idea.

There you go again
taking all the credit

when I do something smart,

which isn't very
often to begin with.

Truth is, you're
smarter than you think

and it really
doesn't matter to me

that you're smelly and
loud and funny-looking.

Truth is, I think the way
you hack up hair ba*ls

and use my mud wallow as
a litter box are fine qualities.

Truth is, you're the
best friend I ever had.

That goes double for me.

Ladies and gentlemen of the
jungle, this is a real friendship,

one that can take
anything, even the truth.

You see, I cast a
spell on these two,

a spell that made them say how
they really feel about each other,

made them tell the truth.

It will wear off
soon, of course,

but my spell did make this
year's banquet interesting,

don't you think?

Hey, Pumbaa, I just want
to tell you that I'm sorry

about some of the
stuff I said tonight.

Yeah? Me too, Timon.

It was that stupid truth
spell Rafiki put on us.

Anyway, I'm sorry.

Oh, good.

You know, Pumbaa you
really don't smell that bad.

Gee, thanks, Timon.

So the truth spell must
be wearing off, huh?

Must be, buddy, must be.