02x16 - Animal Barn/Roach Hotel

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

So I sloshed my hand in a
Jack deuce angle, and says,

"listen, sunshine,

take your spit curls and short
nose and am-scray, unny-bay."

Timon, why are
you talking funny?

'Cause, Pumbaa, we
bein's in the wild west.

Yee and haa!

Dooh!

Ahem.

Eh, you see, that's how
ever-body talks 'round heah.

Let me illustratify.

Howdy there, horse.

How are your beans a-bilin'?

That was a mighty fine
filly you had there, partner.

Cisco pig!

Yippee!

A dandified bonnet.

Howdy, ma'am.

Howdy.

Howd...

Hmm.

My keen meerkat senses
say something scary's going on.

Scary? Let's hide!

Hey, what's the holdup?

Holdup?

Ooh!

Take it! Take
it, take it, take it!

Say, folks 'round here
sure are generous.

Ye-e-e-e-s?

This is a holdup.

Hand over all the cash. Now.

Ooh! I gave all
the money to them.

Run, Pumbaa! They're gonna
plug our ornery hides full of lead!

Yaah!

Hello!

The Cisco pig!

Cisco! Cisco pig!

Our beloved leader!

How happy I am to see you!

- Say what?
- Huh?

- Cisco what?
- Cisco pig?

Cisco, my compadre, we
thought you had kicked the bucket.

Been laid out cold.

Were pushing up daisies.

But now we see you are
still alive, let us dance!

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!

Long live Cisco pig! Long live
Cisco pig! Long live Cisco pig!

And his friend.

- Ay-yi-yi-yi!
- Long live Cisco pig!

- And his friend!
- Long live Cisco pig!

- And his friend!
- Long live Cisco pig!

And his friend!

But I'm not the Cisco pig.

Hakuna matata.

They think you are.

Which means they'll
wait on us hand and foot.

Enough with the hand.

Do the foot.

Ahh!

Nice.

Yay, bowling!

Yay! Dangerous
feats of skill and daring.

- Ay, chihuahua!
- Bravo! Take five.

We don't dare criticize Cisco,

but when are we
going to end this frivolity

and get back to our bandido
business of knocking over trains?

Hey! Now, that sounds fun.

Yee-hah! We
knocked over a train!

Yay! Let's go knock
over something else.

You were supposed
to Rob the train.

Rob? But that's ill*gal.

And it's wrong. And
it's mean to take things

that belong to innocent others.

And I would never do that!

This does not sound
like the Cisco pig I know.

What is Cisco pig's
favorite color, red or blue?

Uh... Blue?

Oh, he got it right.

I'm still suspicious.

Let's test him further.

Regular or decaf?

Um... uh... decaf?

Paper or plastic?

Um... plastic?

Soup or salad?

Salad?

Beta or vhs?

Boxers or briefs?

Rabbit season or duck season?

d*ck sargent or d*ck York?

Beatles or Elvis?

Cash or credit?

Flame-broiled or fried?

Timon or Pumbaa?

Pumbaa.

No! Cisco loves them both.

Hi-yo Pumbaa! Away!

Head 'em off at the pass!

Remember the alamo!
Shane, come back!

Huevos rancheros, amigos!

Ay-yi-yi!

We're surrounded!

And we're gonna die!

Why, what in the Sam hill

do y'all think you're doin' to my
two favorite cartoon characters?

It's the Cisco pig!

Cisco pig.

Cisco pig!

Cisco pig!

Thanks, Cisco pig.

Long live Cisco pig!
Long live Cisco pig!

- Long live Cisco pig!
- And his friend.

Long live Cisco
pig! And his friend!

- Ay-yi-yi-yi!
- Long live Cisco pig! And his friend!

Long live Cisco
pig and his friend!

Oh, boy! Super duper hero x!

It's gonna be right in front
of my very own eyeballs!

Wow! And I'm the first one here!

First is best! First is
best! First, first, first!

Ta-da!

Uhh! Super duper hero x.

It's me... Timon.

Timon!

Heh? Heh? Hey, hey.

What do you think,
huh? Pretty neat, huh?

Timon, you're hero x? Defender of
freedom, fearless upholder of virtue,

the one true hero anyone can turn
to when they're at a complete loss?

Wow! All these years
we've been bestest friends,

and I never knew.

What are you talkin'
about? I'm not hero x.

But you're dressed
just like him.

I am merely dressed like this
to fool the general populace

into shelling out their
hard-earned boogalahs.

They're gonna pay to see Timon?

But they wanna see hero x.

You will most understand.

Look, no one knows who hero x
really is, so I might as well be him.

So, from this moment on, no
matter what anyone says or does,

call me super duper hero x.

You want me to lie?

Yeah, so?

Mark my words, Timon.

No good will come of this!

Blah blah blah blah.
Hakuna matata, Pumbaa.

What could possibly happen?

Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Super duper hero x
is now my prisoner.

Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Timon!

I mean, hero x!

What am I gonna do?

Who could I turn to for help?

I am at a complete loss.

Hi-le-li there, Pumbaa.
Speedy! Speedy the snail!

Boy, am I glad to see you.
What are you doin' here?

Why, I'm here to see super
duper hero x, of course.

But, hey, what's wrong
with my favorite warthog?

You look a little down in the
dumps. Perturbed. Bothered, even.

A gigantical airship right out of
Jules verne kidnapped Timon.

Uh, I mean, a gigantical airship right
out of Jules verne kidnapped hero x.

Boy, that's a drag, all right.

I'll tell you what I do when
things like this happen.

I... sing.

Sing?

Yes, indeedy, when you're in needy,
just croon a tune with good old speedy.

♪ Oh, when the saints ♪

♪ go marchin' in ♪

♪ oh, when the
saints go marching in ♪

♪ how I'd love to
be in that number ♪

♪ when the saints ♪

♪ go marching in ♪

♪ saints go marching in ♪

There. What do you think?

That was absolutely melodious.

But we're still gonna have
to save Timon, I mean hero x.

H-Hey.

What gives? Who are
you? What's goin' on?

Laughter. Don't play
coy with me, hero x.

It is I, your archnemesis...
Chromosome quint!

The most genetically
advanced, biologically mutated,

evil-minded bad lad in this or any
alternate and/or parallel universe.

I maxed out all my credit
cards chasing after you.

Now that I've finally caught
you, I'm going to unmask you

and reveal your secret identity.

Even now, my
awe-inspiring Jules verne-ish

airship is moving into
position high above pride rock.

Pride rock?

But that's where they
present the new lion cub.

The whole jungle will be there.

Exactly!

Once your secret
identity is revealed,

the worst thing that could
ever happen to any superhero,

your crime-fighting
career will be kaput!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ach! Haaa!

Laugh it up, cornball.
The joke's on you.

You see, I am not hero x.

Yes, you are!

No, I'm not! I'm just Timon.

Gasp!

Hero x is the wisecracking
meerkat from the lion king?

Oy.

Boy, what a big, big blimp.

Hey there. Going my way?

- How are we gonna get inside?
- Really beats me.

Uh, sing?

Where are we?

Loony land.

He's the king.

Pumbaa, tell him I'm not hero
x, so we can all go home already.

Mmm.

No matter what
anyone says or does,

call me super duper hero x.

He is super duper hero x.

I told you no good
would come of this.

Shut up.

Eh, evilness.

Badness.

Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

That big, big, bad guy gone?

He's gone.

Psst! I've got speedy with me.

Oh, good plan. A snail.

What are you gonna do, huh?

Run over there and
beat up the bad guy?

Oh, I forgot.

You have no arms or legs.

Junior, I get the feeling you're
not really super duper hero x.

What are you, some kind
of hero x aficionado geek?

Nope.

I'm super duper hero x.

Faster than a
speeding b*llet train.

More powerful
than an automotive.

Able to leap all
buildings in a single town.

He's an herbivore.

He's a gastropod.

He's a land-crawling mollusk.
With a swirly curlicue shell.

He's super duper hero x!

No way.

All I can say is,

yay!

Aah!

Come on, boys. Let's
biddeley bust some crime.

Perfection! Everything is set.

Now to reveal hero
x's secret identity.

Disaster!

Something's gone wrong!

But what?

Heh heh.

Heh heh heh.

Heh.

You threw the
switch! You'll k*ll us all!

We will?

Gallopin' gazelles!

How can pride rock be saved
from this catastrophic calamity?

Will Timon learn his
lesson about lying?

Will Pumbaa get
to say "yay" again?

Will hero x sing another song?

Will pride rock be destroyed?

And now a scene
from next week's show.

Bye, super duper
hero x, I mean, speedy!

Thanks for saving our lives and
pride rock and all the jungle animals.

Yeah. Thanks.

Oh, shucks, don't
mention it, junior.

See you around, boys.

You know, it's funny, Pumbaa.

All the times we risked
our lives saving speedy,

and he was a
superhero all along.

I'm just happy knowing that no-good
evil so-and-so chromosome quint

is locked up
forever behind bars.

- Watch out!
- Yikes!

Oh, perfect.

Now what do we do?

We sing!

♪ Oh, when the saints ♪

♪ go marchin' in ♪

♪ oh, when the
saints go marchin' in ♪

♪ ya da da da da da da da ♪