01x23 - Manhattan Mishap/Paraguay Parable

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Oh, motor mouth, you're
spitting on my neck.

Sorry.

Isn't this beautiful, Timon?

The Louisiana bayou,

rich with culture and tradition.

And the tastiest
bugs in the world.

Nothing, nothing, nothing!

Pumbaa, I'm starving over here.

Hakuna matata, Timon!

All our problems will be solved

once we find the
all-knowing Boudreaux.

- Boo who?
- Boudreaux

he is a very wise soul who
lives at the mouth of the bayou.

And he's gonna teach us
to be brave, wise and true.

Brave, wise and true? Ha!

I'd rather be fed, full and fat.

Turn us around. I need
grub and I need it now.

But, Timon, if we prove
ourselves brave, wise and true,

the all-knowing
Boudreaux will reward us

with an endless supply of bugs.

Endless supply of bugs?

He keeps them covered
in a big hollow stump

so they stay nice and juicy,

savoring in a rich blend
of Cajun herbs and spices

and his own secret creole sauce.

You know, I could use
a little spit and Polish

on my brave, wise
and true-ishness.

Well, what are we
waiting for, Pumbaa?

Forward h*!

This boo-hoo character won't just
fall out of the sky, you know, Pumbaa.

Aahh!

Timon, I k*lled him!

I k*lled this poor,
little, itty-bitty creature!

Pumbaa, do you know
what this animal is?

- No.
- Alive!

- It's playing possum.
- Oh. Possum.

Exactly. Opossum.

And he's pretending to be
dead in a not-alive sort of way,

so we won't, you know...

- Play charades with him?
- No.

So we won't whack him,
waste him, knock him off.

So we won't end his life.

We wouldn't do that.

Don't play dead, little possum.

We won't hurt you.
We're your friends.

It's Greek to me.

Actually, it's Cajun French, a
derision of traditional French

vocalized and colorized
by the arcadians of Canada

who migrated to Louisiana
in the late 18th century.

Aha, Mr. Smarty-pants.

And how do you spell "cat?"

X-x-y, uh, t.

Eh, I rest my case.

Hey, Timon, maybe
our new possum friend

can lead us to the
all-knowing Boudreaux.

This guy?

He couldn't find his you-know-what
with a you-know-what.

If you know what I mean.

Really? He said if we give
him a ride, he'll show us the way.

Oh, lucky day.

Oh, you're so right. The
bayou is a beautiful place.

Have you lived here long?

Oh, so glad to be your
afternoon's entertainment.

What do you say you and me itch-day
the ossum-pay and et-g*y outta here?

- Eh?
- Oosh!

I said, "let's ditch the
possum and get outta here."

Eesh! You can understand his
backwards jabber but not pig Latin?

Ha! You're a pig,
for crying out loud!

But we can't leave, Timon.

We haven't met the
almighty Boudreaux,

who will teach us to
be brave, wise and true.

That's why you're
on this journey, right?

To become a better person?

Of course it is, Pumbaa.

But, you see, I'm hungry.

H-u-n-gry!

Now, what good
is a brave meerkat

when he's a "dead from
starvation" meerkat, huh?

What good does brave-ishness
do me, right here, right now?

A croco-gator! An allig-ile!

What do we do, what
do we do, what do we do?

Oh, Timon, our
possum friend fell in!

- Good.
- Timon, you don't mean that!

Actually, Pumbaa, I do.

We should save him!

No. We should casually slip away

whilst the alligator
is otherwise engaged.

Oh, but, Timon,
that's not very brave.

- Come on!
- Pumbaa... what?

Use your camera and
the flash might blind him.

This is no time for
taking pictures, Pumbaa.

But what if I were
to use my camera?

The flash might blind him.

Back-paddle, full steam away!

He says either way
will get us there.

Well, this one's a
no-brainer. That-a-way.

Uh, I thought there was
an old adage that says,

"the smart choice is taking
the road less traveled."

Oh, how wrong you are,
my stout and gaseous friend.

The saying goes, "when in doubt,

take the easy way
out," which is that way.

See, it's bright and well lit and
we don't have to get off the raft.

Hey, I know. I'll go
my way, you go yours.

And when we meet up, we'll
swap stories. How does that sound?

I'm all goose-pimply
with anticipation.

Great. See ya.
Wouldn't wanna be ya.

Fine. But when you get lost and scared
and afraid, don't go crying to me.

You made your bed
and it gathers no moss.

Ooh!

Ahh!

Help.

We made it! Look!

Timon, our possum friend

is the all-knowing Boudreaux.

Uh, him?

What now?

He said we gotta prove ourselves
to be true and pure of heart.

So we stick our heads
in the tree of truth there

and if you're true and
pure, nothing happens.

If not, it cuts off your head.

I'll go first.

See, Timon? Now it's your turn.

And I know it won't
cut off your head

because you are as true
as any friend could be.

Okay, I admit it.

I didn't wanna be
brave, wise or true.

I just came along for the food.

Here. Let the tree
swallow me up. I deserve it.

Perhaps I spoke too soon.

Don't you see what's happened?

Of course I do. This whole
thing here was a ruse.

See, Bo-Bo here
didn't teach us anything.

He just got a free
ride up the bayou.

Gee, Timon, I was thinking
it was the trip that taught us.

I think he was
teaching us all along

and we didn't even know it.

I think he's learning.

Bark, bark, bark,
bark, bark. Bark.

Warning, baby.

Woof.

I know. I know. Another
animal escaped from the lab.

We'll look for it
tomorrow, happy dog.

Go back to sleep.

Danger drill! Danger drill!

Simba, ready to pounce!

Hey.

Simba, you are
not ready to pounce!

Timon, that is not a predator.

It's a sack of potatoes.

It's a practice predator
for our danger drill, simba.

A self-preservation plan we rehearse,
to ensure our continued good health,

by climbing up a tree to
safety while you scare off

whatever it is that's
trying to eat us!

No worries, Timon.

I'm confident I can
handle any real predator.

Hakuna matata.

"Hakuna matata?" No worries?

Simba, our lives are the
one thing we do worry about.

And with this weird, wild animal
on the loose, we can't be too careful.

You don't need to worry.

After all, I am a
lion, remember?

Oh, yeah. You're
a lion, alright.

You're always a-lyin' around!

But, Timon, simba's our friend

and if he feels confident
he can handle any predator,

then my brain believes him.

Well, my brain... The
brain of the outfit...

Says we've gotta whip
this lion into shape!

Okay, simba. First,

we'll practice your ability to
sense danger approaching.

Just relax here and let your grown-up
lion instincts do their stuff, okay?

Oh, boy.

Okay, Pumbaa. Now make some
noise. Not too much, not too little.

Just the right amount of noise,
like a predator would make.

I am a predator.

I said, "I am a predator!"

Hey, simba, I am a predator

sneaking up on you!

Hmm.

Who is this guy, rip
Van stinkin' winkle?

- Look!
- And what are these?

Those are earplugs. And I always
wear earplugs when I'm relaxing.

You know how loud it gets
out here. It's like a jungle.

Ugh.

Listen. A fearsome
roar comes in handy

when scaring away
predators and in-laws.

Now, then, we've got Pumbaa
here hooked up to the fear vocalizer.

You cut loose with
your most frightful roar

and the fear vocalizer will
tell us how scared Pumbaa is.

- Ready, Pumbaa?
- I am ready.

Go!

I am not scared.

I am not scared.

I'm still not scared.

Well, he failed the roar test.

Does your brain still
believe he can protect us?

What?

- What are those?
- Simba's earplugs.

Okay, now then, last
but not least, pouncing.

I am a predator unaware
I'm about to be pounced upon.

Now, then, simba,
you pounce on Pumbaa.

Uh, simba, now, I don't
wanna say you stink as a lion,

but you stink as a lion!

I mean, how are you going to protect
us from this weird, escaped animal,

when you can't even pin the biggest,
fattest, juiciest thing in the jungle?

- I mean, Pumbaa...
- aw, come on, simba.

I'm sure your natural
instincts would save us.

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe I really
do stink as a lion.

Timon, could your big brain
explain to me what's wrong here?

What's wrong here is we have
a lion who lacks confidence.

- That's simba.
- That's right.

And two cowards who
need predator protection.

- That's us?
- Uh-huh.

So, we need a
solution that will... a:

Re-instill confidence
in said lion

restore our personal bodyguard.

Gee, uh, there's only

one thing I can think
of that would do all that.

And what's that?

If simba actually saved us

from that weird, escaped
animal that's on the loose.

What are the odds
of that happening?

Oh, you're right.

And besides, we don't even know
what the escaped animal looks like.

And neither does simba.

Uh, Timon, where are
we gonna find somebody

to dress up like a
weird, escaped animal?

For all we know, it
could be really tall,

with big, glowing eyes,

crazy, scary hair...

What?

Okay, Pumbaa. Now, then,

make like a scary monster
and come outta there.

Wow. Pumbaa, that outfit
is scarier than I thought.

And that roar sounds
pretty scary too.

I'm ready to be the weird,
escaped animal, Timon.

- Say, who's your new friend?
- Who, him? That's you, Pumbaa.

Boy, I sure look scary!

But if you're Pumbaa, then what
Pumbaa is that Pumbaa, Pumbaa?

Danger, danger!
Warning, warning!

What's wrong?

The big, weird,
escaped animal thing

is headed this way and
you have to protect us now!

Go, go, go! Roar!
Pounce! Attack!

Yeah, well, you
said I stink as a lion.

What? I said no such thing.

The only thing that
stinks around here

is him.

Nope, you weren't
talking about me, Timon.

You were definitely
talking about simba.

Ugh!

Well, uh, what I really meant
when I said that you stink as a lion

was, uh, that you
have lion instincts.

I just got my
words flip-flopped.

So, with that all
cleared up, go, go, go!

I... I just don't know if
I have it in me, Timon.

Forget it! This is useless!

Come on, rock.

You can do it. Beat him up good.

Simba, simba, he's our lion!

If he can't do it, then
I'm lyin'! Simba, simba!

Simba, you're alright!

You know what?

My lion instincts
really did kick in.

Well, I never had
any doubt, simba.

I knew all along you
could beat the stuffing

out of any predator foolish
enough to cross your path.

- Me too!
- But I didn't beat him.

- How's that?
- Come on out, Bartholomew.

They won't hurt you.

You see, ever since he
escaped from Dr. Happy's lab,

he's been lost and
lonely and all alone

and I figured he'd make a nice
edition to our hakuna matata club.

Yeah. Good thinking, simba.

Why, having a


wouldn't be such a bad idea.

What do you say, Bartholomew?

Well, you know, I...

I have given this hakuna
matata theory a lot of thought

and, well, um...

You know how it goes.

♪ Hakuna matata, hey, h* ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

- ♪ hakuna matata ♪
- that's it!

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ oh, yeah ♪

Ugh!

♪ Hakuna matata ♪