01x18 - Madagascar About You/Truth or Zaire

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Look, Pumbaa, we're here.
We're out in the outback.

Up to our tails in down under.

Running wild in the land
of kangaroos and dingoes.

Gee, Timon, I thought you
said we were going to Australia.

This is Australia, my hog pal,

and I'm tellin' ya, Pumbaa,

there are bugs here no one's
ever seen before, let alone tasted.

All we gotta do is catch 'em and
shove 'em down our glistening gullets.

Gee, that sounds great.

Great?

Oh, great isn't the half of it.

This is a harsh
wilderness environment,

which will bring out the
best of our hunting skills,

pushing us to the
pinnacle of our potential.

You're right, Timon,
that is better than great.

Yes, it's super great.

Well, well, c'mon, c'mon,
c'mon. What you are waiting for?

- Let's get started.
- Let's?

As in "let us"?

No, no, no, no.

You don't understand... and
why should that surprise me?

Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa,

reaching the pinnacle of your
potential is not a group activity.

It must be accomplished
solo, singular, e.G., alone.

Otherwise, it doesn't count.

You mean, we've got to split
up and catch our own bugs,

on our own,

all alone,

separately?

Ding! Ding! We have a winner.

Oh, gee, hunting without
my bestest pal by my side...

Well... Pumbaa, trust me.

Victory is best when you don't
share the credit with anybody else.

That's why they call it
"individual achievement".

Well, all right, if you say so.

It's small, but tasty.

Ooh, but bigger is better.

And even bigger is even better.

Hi there, fuzzy face.

You call that huntin'/stalkin'/
predatory behavior?

Why, I've seen rabid wombats
what get more stealthy than you.

And biggest is best!

Yeah, boy!

Okay, bug, let's go. You and
me, right here, pal, right now.

You're about to taste the
pinnacle of my potential.

Bug? What bug?

I'm a land crab, mate,
accent on the crab.

Land crab, my eye.

You've got multiple
legs and an exoskeleton,

and that spells bug
with a capital "b",

and that rhymes with "t", and that
stands for trophy. Timon's trophy!

Are you coming peaceably,
or do I have to get rough?

Hey, lovely
choreography, cobber,

but I never went anywhere
peaceably in my life.

Ooh! Oop! Woop! Oof! Woof! Aah!

Ta-da!

Pretzel, pass the salt.

Yaa!

Yeoww!

Hey, Timon, have you reached
the pinnacle of your potential?

Ooh!

You know somethin', fuzzy face?

I think I'm
beginnin' to like you.

Heh, heh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Aah!

Starting to like me,
huh? I'll show you like.

Got a like right here, pal.

Yah-hey.

Boy, Timon, it sure feels great

bringing out my best
and pushing myself

to the pinnacle of my potential.

Ohh.

Timon? You all right?

Is it gone?

- Is what gone?
- The bug.

Is that bug gone?

Uh... yeah, it's gone.

Hallelujah.

Oh, it was awful,
Pumbaa, just awful.

It was a nightmare.

Uh, Timon, did you just,
uh... Get whupped by a bug?

Bug? Uh-uh. Not
just a bug, Pumbaa,

a monster bug, like that
giant whale, Moby d*ck!

Except it's got legs, legs,

and it stares at you...

I see.

Uh, Timon,

I'd be more than happy to...
Well, if you're needing any...

Help...

Need help?

Me? Me?

Yeah, you.

Me?

No one else here, buddy.

Me, need help?

Never! The day Timon
needs help catching a bug

is the day it gets really
cold in a really hot place.

I must ask you to leave.

You're upsetting me.

Well, okay, Timon.

Yeah, now, for that bug.

Hey there, fuzzy
face! You still around?

Crikey!

What in the great barrier
reef are you supposed to be,

puss in boot?

Me? I'm your worst nightmare.

Eh, heh, heh, heh.

He-hey, what gives?

Heh, heh.

Say good day, fuzzy face.

G'day, fuzzy face.

I... hate... this.

Yaa!

Uh-oh.

Uh, gee, Timon, you're not still
tryin' to get that one bug, are ya?

Humph.

You don't need any help, do ya?

There.

Now, where did that kookaburra
meerkat shimmy off to?

It better not give up.
I'm havin' too much fun.

Hey, fuzzy face!

Where'd you go?

I think I found your pinnacle.

♪ I'm over here ♪

Bam! Smoosh! Bug stew!

Hmm.

Hey.

Hey, what gives?

Now, why isn't he
bam, smoosh, bug stew?

Hey, you, I oughta...

Ohh, that explains it.

Yaa!

I am loser. Hear me groan.

Well, Timon, are we ready to go?

I've already pushed myself to
the pinnacle of my potential...

Several times.

I am ultrahog.

I'm happy for you, really.

See my smile?

Ti... mon.

Oh, boy, Timon.

How humiliating it must be
to be beaten by one little bug.

Why? Why didn't
you let me help you?

It doesn't count
if you need help.

It's a hollow victory.

Nonsense. I had lots
of help and I feel great!

Come on, come on, come
on, get up, get up, get up,

I want you to meet
my new friend.

He helped me catch lots of
bugs, and I bet he'll help you, too.

Okay, Pumbaa, fine. I
don't know what else to do.

I'll try anything.

Show me this master
bug hunter of yours.

Timon, meet brrruce!

Fuzzy face!

Aah!

Hey! I wonder
what's buggin' him?

Ah ha ha ha!

Aaahh!

Faster, Pumbaa! Make
with the speediness!

Being careful, of course, to avoid any
low-hanging branches... like that one!

Notice how careful I was to avoid
that low-hanging branch, Timon?

So you had to hit the
high-hanging branch instead.

Hello there!

Pumbaa!

Don't worry, Timon. I
won't let 'em catch us.

I'll never stop running.
Never, never, never.

Say, you're not Timon.

I better go back and
find my bestest best pal.

I'm having a devilishly difficult
time locating any recipes for meerkat.

Hmm. One might check under...

Rodent.

Ahhh...

Perfect.

Uh-oh. I can't let him
cook Timon. We're a team.

Without him, I'd just be...

And Pumbaa.

Oh, forget the recipes!

Let's use the meerkat helper.
A meaty meal in minutes.

Quick and convenient.

Oh, I do so love modern cooking.

First bring the water to a boil.

Yes, we've done that.

Second, we must hear
the prey's last prayers.

Must we really listen
to his last words?

Well, it's what the recipe says.

Don't worry.

I'll save you,
bestest best buddy.

Any last words?

Don't eat me! Eat the hog!

- What hog?
- What hog?

What hog?

Hey.

I'm talking bacon buffet!

I'm talking ham heaven!

I'm talking... owwwww!

That tape smarts.

It'll heal. Now, please,
tell us more about this...

Um, hog.

Yes, tell us more.

He's big, and plump, and juicy,

and plump, and deliciously
hunger-satisfying.

And... did I mention he's plump?

Plump?

I'm just big-boned.

Now, not to be indelicate,
but, uh, exactly how...

Plump is he?

Are you kidding?

He's so plump, he can
make a hula hoop cry.

Why, he's so plump, he
used to go to the desert

and sell shade, whoa!

He's so plump his
pants size is unlisted!

I've known him for years, and
I still haven't seen all of him!

Hello, is this thing on?

Man, am I getting dizzy.

Gee, I'm becoming offended.

Mmm. Sounds deliciously...

Hmm, how shall I put it?

Plump.

There he is. If you'll
just cut me down,

I'll march right out there
and catch him for ya.

Oh, no, no, no. That
won't be necessary.

We'll just catch him ourselves.

Well, you could try,
but you'd never find him.

You see, he's an
expert in camouflagery.

The undefeated
hide-and-seek champion.

This hog knows the jungle
like the back of his tusks.

Then how do you propose we bring
home this aforementioned bacon?

The hog trusts me.

Therefore, I could walk
right up to him and grab him!

You know, easy as, er uh,
crust, with, uh, the fruit in it.

Pie?

Hey, slow down!

You haven't had
the main course yet.

Main course and
pie. Ha! My sides!

Can I get down now?

Sold out by my so-called
bestest best buddy.

Well, I'll show him!

Okay! I'm going to go and
catch a plump, juicy warthog now.

So, you two just wait right here,
and I'll be right back, of course.

Heh-heh! What a couple of mooks!

Now, I can find Pumbaa
and get outta here.

Before...

You get out of here...
Please give us your wallet.

- Huh?
- Your wallet.

Hand it over.

No way!

I'm afraid we
really must insist.

Aah!

If you have my wallet,
I'll have to come back

and not run off
like I was planning.

Precisely!

Good!

Me and my big mouth!

Now, I have to
actually catch Pumbaa.

Unfortunately,
that'll be a cinch,

'cause he doesn't know
the first thing about...

Yipe!

Whaaaaa?

So, I'll be easy to
catch as pie, huh?

Well, you'll never
catch this pie, Timon.

Oh, we'll see about that.

Free bugs, oh, boy!

It's bug appreciation day,

the one day a year when
nobody or anyone should eat bugs.

Oh, well!

My brain is so clever!

Oh, boy! Get my
picture taken with simba!

You bet!

All right...

Big smile.

These look great. They
make me look slender. Thanks!

All I have to do is
act like I'm in danger.

Pumbaa unties
me... then I tie up him.

Cleverness is ample in me.

Help! Oh, help! Help! Help.

Timon? Timon!

Oh, no! Don't you
worry, bestest pal.

I'll set aside our
differences and rescue you!

Hurry! Quick! Untie me,
Pumbaa, before the train comes.

Say, there's no
train in this jungle.

I believe this is a trap
thought up by your clever brain.

Well, if you're so clever, you
can think of a way to untie yourself!

Aaaah!

I knew Timon would
never be able to catch me.

Gotcha.

Timon! Get away from
me! I don't want to be eaten!

Pumbaa! I'm trying to save you!

No, you're not.

You are trying to catch me
and feed me to the cheetahs!

Don't be ridiculous!
Why would I do that?

Because you'd do anything
to save your own skin.

This is true.

But I'm still your bestest
best friend, Pumbaa,

so you've gotta listen to me.

Oh, no, I don't Timon. I
know how smart you are.

You want to trick me.

From now on, anything
you tell me to do,

I'm going to do the opposite.

Okay, then...

Pumbaa, run off
and start talking.

You can't trick me, Timon.

I'm gonna sit down and listen.

The truth is, Pumbaa,

I told the cheetahs
that c*ck story

that I could catch you
so they'd let me go...

So I could find you,
and we'd run to safety.

- Understand?
- No.

Are you saying you don't understand
because you don't understand,

or are you doing that
opposite thing again?

I'm saying I don't understand

because I don't understand how
you could do such a very not nice thing.

They were going to eat me!

What would you have done
under the circumstances?

Well, I probably would've
invented some c*ck story

to convince the cheetahs
to let me catch you,

when in reality, I
would try to find you

so that we could both
run away to safety.

Oh, really?

Well, you didn't
have to call me...

Plump!

I was joking! Can't
you take a joke?

No.

Well, fortunately, those
chump cheetahs fell for it,

and we're free, pal, free!

Now, our only problem is figuring
out how to get my wallet back.

That's not your only problem.

Ohhh!

Oh, my, isn't this splendid?

Now we can have the
meerkat as an appetizer,

and for the main
course, we can have...

The pig!

Pig? Uh-oh. Are
you talkin' about me?

You called him a pig.

Are you talkin' about me?

Shouldn't have done that.

Are you talkin' about me?

Now you're in for it.

They call me...

Mr. Pig!

We're not really going to
eat them, are we, Timon?

Of course not, Pumbaa...
I've just got an axe to grind!