01x16 - Russia Hour/You Ghana Join the Club

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Pumbaa, guess what.

Ugg! What?

My bestest best friend
Fred is coming to visit.

But aren't I your bestest
best friend, Timon?

You're my new
bestest best friend.

I'm talking pre-Pumbaa days.

Fred and I were one zany pair.

He's always pulling
practical jokes.

A handshake buzzer.

A squirting flower.

Excuse me.

That was the whoopee
cushion. He loved that.

Boy, could I make him laugh.

My hyena jokes
slayed him every time.

Ooh, I better think
of some new ones.

I got 'em.

Tell it to me. I want to
hear 'em. I want to hear 'em.

Well, if you insist.

Ladies and germs, bugs and
larvae, get ready to bust your cocoons,

'cause I'm hot tonight.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

Anybody see the headlines today?

Some mad scientist crossed
a hyena with a piece of celery

and made a laughing stalk.

That's a good one!

All right, all right.

What did one hyena say to the other when
they reached the top of mt. Everest?

High enough for ya?

Get it? High enough?

I get it! Ha, ha, ha!

Timon, you're k*lling me.

Did you hear about the
hyena who lost his voice?

He had laughingitis.

Ah, ha, ha!

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

Ah, oh, I'm good.

You know Timon, with you
and Fred being old friends,

maybe I should leave
so you two can catch up.

Pumbaa, you're
not going anywhere.

You're my best friend.

I'd never do anything
to make you feel left out.

Fred!

Hey, buddy, how's tricks?

First of all, Timon, I
have changed my ways.

No more tricks.

You're not kidding?

No, sir. I do not play
practical jokes anymore.

Thanks to clean living,
I have been reformed.

I hope it will not hurt
our friendship, however.

Of course not. Yieee!

You're not going to get me with
the whoopee cushion this time.

Of course not, Timon.

I told you, I've
changed my ways.

I use a boxing glove now.

Ah, you really got me.

Timon!

Hello. You must be Pumbaa.
I'm sooo pleased to meet you.

Here. Have some mixed nuts.

Gee, thanks.

Yaa!

The last one's
always the funniest!

You want funny?

Wait till you hear my
latest hyena jokes.

Yeah, Timon has some great ones.
Tell him the one where the mad scientist

crosses a hyena with celery
and makes a laughing stalk.

Listen to this one.

What did one hyena say to the other when
they reached the top of mt. Everest?

Pumbaa...

Shh, shh. Don't
ruin the punch line.

High enough for you?

Tell another one.

Yes. Do tell another
one, Pumbaa.

Okay, did you hear the one
about the hyena who lost its voice?

It had laughingitis!

Oh, Pumbaa, you slay me, baby.

Yes, Pumbaa, you're a real ham.

And if you were a real friend,

you'd leave and give Fred
and I some time to catch up.

Aw, Timon come on,
Pumbaa doesn't have to leave.

Why don't we cook up some
fun, the way we used to, huh?

Yeah. Let's go
bowling for buzzards.

I always go bowling
for buzzards.

I know. Let's
play turtle tennis.

Splendid idea, my friend.

Whoa, Pumbaa, you really are
the brains of this outfit, aren't ya?

Oh.

I'll serve.

I've got it. I've got it!

Timon!

Could we play
something else now?

Okay, Pumbaa, my friend.

Let's go fishing for flamingos.

Whaa! Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

Reel me in!

Grab him, Timon!

Wow! This sure turned
out to be some fun.

Yeah!

Hey, Timon, are you up
to some hippo hockey?

No.

How about giraffe jumping?

No.

Badger boxing?

I don't think so.

You don't seem to be
your usual, perky self.

Have I, in an attempt to
make your guest feel welcome,

alienated you and strained
our cherished friendship?

Oh, Timon, buddy.

We never meant to make you mad.
And we're gonna make it up to you.

You will?

You just sit down and relax
under that tree over there.

Pumbaa and I will get you those
squishy beetles you like so much.

Well, okay.

That's sure a nice
thing to do, Fred,

I see why Timon calls you
his old bestest best friend.

Yeah! Listen, don't you realize
that tree he's sitting under

is full of sleeping
howler monkeys?

All you have to do is nudge
it with your tusks, and bam!

The whole bunch will fall on
Timon howling and screaming.

It'll scare the bugs
right out of him.

But Fred that's not what
friends do to other friends.

Come on, Pumbaa. It'll be
the best practical joke ever.

Only a shallow, mean, uncaring,
heartless, insensitive mook

would play a humiliating
practical joke on a best friend.

I'm going to find my bestest
best pal the bugs we promised.

Ooh, what a party pooper.

Hey, Timon!

Let me get this straight.

Are you suggesting that I
play a humiliating practical joke

on my best pal, Pumbaa?

You guessed it. Will you do it?

Sure!

Here, beetle,
beetle, beetle, beetle.

Hey, Pumbaa.

Timon! Uh...

Are you still mad
at me and Fred?

Hah. Me, mad?

How could I stay mad?
I'm your pal, Pumbaa.

I'm gonna help
you look for bugs.

As a matter of fact,

it now occurs to me I
just so happen to see

one grade "a" prime choice
beetle ready for consumption

right over there.

Just follow the,
uh, dotted line here.

Oh, Timon, it's so nice to be bug
hunting with my bestest best pal.

Pumbaa, stay on the line.

I guess Fred is fun, but I just
can't be friends with someone

who would play a
humiliating, degrading,

mean-spirited practical
joke on a good buddy.

You can't?

Of course not, Timon.

Friendship is based on trust,
honesty, and mutual respect.

That's why we have
such a strong friendship.

Oh, is that why?

So, where is this
incredible, edible bug?

Is it here on the big green square that
almost looks like it could be a trap?

No! Wait a minute!

There's one last
thing I forgot to tell you.

Okay.

I'm now going to step
forward onto this thing

that looks like
a trap, but isn't!

Whoa!

Hey, uh, Timon.

I don't hear Fred.

Do you think he's okay?

He's fine. I'm the one
breaking a funny bone.

Timon, he could've
bruised his little knees,

or twisted his little ankle,

or shattered his
itty-bitty spine.

- Fred!
- Fred!

- Fred!
- Fred!

I think we should jump
in to see if he's all right.

But, Pumbaa...

You really fell for that one.

Guess you should've
brought one of these.

What a couple of mooks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You
got us good that time.

Aah!

Hey, you guys, come
on. It was just a joke.

Guys?

Hey, Pumbaa, want
to go flamingo fishing?

Just you and me?

You bet!

Guys!

Aaaaaaah!

Pumbaa, slow down.
There's nothing to be afraid of.

Slow down!

Yikes!

Yieee!

Pumbaa, what is wrong with you?

This is yet another big differing
unlikeness between the two of us.

You, on one hand, are very
afraid of most everything.

While I, on the other hand,
am afraid of mostly nothing.

Now, what scared you, bacon boy?

Over there.

Eyah!

See? It scared you, too.

No, no, no, Pumbaa.

That was not a
scream of scariness.

That was a scream
of pure elation.

Do you not realize what this is?

We have accidentally
happened onto

the lost, forgotten,
abandoned temple shrine

of the sacred,
glorious golden fruit fly.

So?

So, hidden somewhere
deep inside this cursed temple

is the prized Jewel-encrusted,
and very worth a lot of money...

Glorious golden fruit fly.

Did you say...

Cursed?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's
some old c*ck 'n bull story

about a monster mummy
beetle that protects this temple.

But that's a bunch of malarkey.

Mum-mum-mummy beetle!

Come on, Pumbaa.

What, you're not coming?

Fine, then.

You can stay out here...

All alone...

Very, very alone.

So very, very, very alone.

Yieee!

Uh, okay, I'll go in.

Just promise me
one thing, Timon.

Promise me nothing
will happen to me.

If anything happens to you,
Pumbaa, it'll be over my dead body.

Wow.

These old temples sure are
damp and crazy and scary.

It's no wonder people
think they're cursed.

Aaah!

Pumbaa, is there a problem?

I saw the mummy beetle.

He's scary and big and he's got
lots of arms, and he's right over there.

You mean, that?
It's just a coat rack.

Oh. Sorry.

Now come on, ya big scaredy-hog.

Beetle my...

Now, I'm no expert in
hieroglyphics, but, if I'm not mistaken,

this says that to get to the treasure,
we take a left at the gas station,

then go two blocks
north to the old barn...

That doesn't seem right.

Timon! Look out! Outta the way!

I wish you'd be
more careful pumba.

This is a very old temple.

You already caused
that rock to come loose.

But the mummy!

Will you stop it with
the mummy talk?

It's your hallucinigation.

Now come on.

Uhh!

You know, legend has it

that no living thing
has ever actually seen

the prized, Jewel-encrusted,
and very worth a lot of money,

glorious golden fruit fly!

But, I can sense that we're
getting very, very close.

Timon!

And what exactly were you
planning on doing with that pumba?

Give me that.

But... the statue...
And then it...

And then it tried to, uh...

How many times do I have to tell
you? There's nothing to be afraid of!

These statues are made
out of hard, stony rock stuff.

See? It's not alive.

Now come on.

Yieee!

Uh, Pumbaa.

Pumbaa, will you come
on? You're wasting time.

I'm telling you, Timon,
this place is cursed.

There's a monster mummy
beetle running loose,

and it's trying to k*ll
us. And make us dead.

Why don't you describe this
monster mummy beetle to me pumba,

just in case I run into it?

Well, he's really tall...

Just like you,

and he's got four
arms and two legs...

Just like you,

and he's all wound up in a bunch
of stinking, decaying bandages...

Just like... y-yieee!

Pumbaa, there you are.

Look what I found.

We made it!

This is the place!

And there it is.

Inside that box is the prized,

Jewel-encrusted, and
very worth a lot of money,

glorious golden fruit
fly. We're gonna be rich!

Hoo-hoo!

But what about the mummy curse?

Pumbaa...

I don't want to hear another
peep outta you about that mummy.

How many times
do I have to tell you?

There's no such thing!

Then what do you call that?

Hey, hit the road, pal.

We've already staked
claim to this treasure and,

not that I'm a medical-type
doctor or anything,

but you really should see somebody
about getting these bandages changed.

T-t-t-Timon!

You just relax here
while I go get the box,

then we'll be outta
here without incident.

Hey! I made it. No problem.

Phew!

I got it.

Pumbaa, I got it!

Hoo-hoo!

What a cinch.

You know, you'd think they'd put in
some sort of traps or alarms something.

It's the curse!

- Whooo-ooh!
- Whooo-ooh!

We hope you've enjoyed
tonight's performance

of the destruction of the lost,
forgotten abandoned temple shrine

of the sacred,
glorious golden fruit fly.

Please exit through
the doors to your left.

Thank you.

Oye! What's the
big idea, Pumbaa?

You nearly knocked the wind
outta me jumpin' on me like that.

But, Timon... don't
"but, Timon" me.

I've had it with you and
your strange behavior.

You're creepin' me out.

Whatever's in that coffer
better be worth all the trouble.

Oh, it's worth
it. It's worth it.

You just wait and see.

Jacker cracks?

No, no. This is just
the box, Pumbaa.

The real prize is inside.

Crud.

Uh... Timon,

is that the prized, Jewel-encrusted,
and supposedly worth-a-lot-of-money,

glorious golden fruit fly?

Uh... yup.

You mean to tell me that
we went through all of that,

and this is it?

Uh-huh...

And how much exactly would
you say it is approximately worth?

Uh... with or without
the caramel corn?

Now, now, now,
Pumbaa. Settle down.

You know, I forgot
to tell you earlier,

there is one thing
I'm very, very afraid of.

And what is that?

An angry warthog.

Yaaah!