01x04 - Brendon Gets Rabies

[bunniefuu]

It smells really bad in here.

This is what nature
smells like, melissa.

This doesn't smell like nature.

This is what nature
smells like

In a very small room
with lots of nature.

Oh, there's the dog.

Brendon:
come here, boy, come here.

Come here, boy, come here.

Don't tap on the glass.

I'm not tapping.

Look at him; he's so happy.

Are you going
to be able to get a dog?

I'm working on it.

Brendon, do you even know
how to take care of a dog?

Yes. I mean...

It's not easy.

Brendon:
shut up, you birds!

I would never get a bird.

I don't like birds much at all.

They just do...
They do nothing for me.

What do you think of ferrets?

Ferrets are great because if
you, uh lose something

In a small tube you can put them
down there and...

They would get it out for you.

That's something
I hadn't thought of.

I don't know how helpful they
are, though.

The best thing in store
is the dog.

Definitely.

That's the cutest dog
I ever saw.

Hey, you guys want to pet the
puppy?

Both:
can we?

No.

Ah, I'm just kidding.

Peter, get the puppy out of the
pen, please, peter.

The kids want to pet the puppy.

Can I hold the puppy?

I hold the puppy,
and brendon pet the puppy.

I'll pet if you hold then you
hold and I pet...

Da, da, da, da... Kids?

Both:
what?

Uh, brendon.

Want to go first?

Hello, guy.

Oh.

Hey... Oh...

Can I have it back, please?

Melissa?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
Where are you going?

I didn't get a chance
to really pet it that much.

He's so sweet.

All right, time for the puppy to
go to bed.

Oh, he loves me!

Um, I didn't...

Please.

Can I pet the...

Please.

Can I pet the...

Please.

Can I pet...

Peter? Peter? Peter? Peter?

Brendon:
can I hold it?

Melissa:
oh, my god, brendon.

You got to get that dog.

Can i...

Did he lick your neck?
He licked me a little bit.

It's so cute when he licks you.

I just... I brushed up against
him and then...

Did he rub his face
on your cheek?

It's so sweet.

Hey, guys, you want to see
something really cool?

What's that?

You guys know about
the boa constrictor?

You're going to feed it a mouse?

Yeah.

Cool.

That's what they eat?

Yeah.

Hey, would you mind
if I filmed that?

Uh...

I got a video camera;
I can go get it.

Why would you want to film that?

'Cause it's cool; it's nature.

Have you ever seen those
documentaries?

It's really kind of disgusting.

Oh my god,
this is gonna be great.

What are we gonna use it for?

I see like a whole series of
nature films like,

In captivity here.

Of animals eating other animals?

Yes... When animals
eat other animals

Is what it'll be called
and it's about life and death

And the struggle of animals
and, like, how fragile the...

The pet... Look at that dead
black molly over there.

You know what I'm saying?

Pedaruddi:
uh, peter?

Have you
met the cat?

Well, no, I saw it
through the window once.

You saw it
through the window?

But that wasn't really
meeting...

Okay, I'm happy to meet the cat.

Well... Alexandre,
this is paula.

Um, let me ask you something.

Is there something that's
stopping you

From saying the whole word?

Alexandre?

Is it alexan—dre,
but you got busy?

Alexandre.

Alexandr...
Okay, and then just stop.

Just stop.

Do you like cats?

I love cats.

Oh, good.

I used to have nine cats.

I only liked one of them,
but I had nine.

Come here, alexand.

Uh, did I do that good?
'Cause i...

Very nice.

Oh, yes, and the kitty litter
needs to be changed

Every, uh, you know,
20 minutes or so.

Is it... You sift
every 20 minutes?

Yes. I have this
little slotted spoon...

Does the cat go out at all?

No, we had the bubble for a
while but,

Um, we're no longer using it.

Indoor cat.

All right, well, I'll do my...

You know, we'll keep it indoors
as well.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Ziddy, ziddy, ziddy
ziddy, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

With a g*n to my head,
I wouldn't try that.

Paula, I can't thank you enough.

Um, sure it's, you know...
It's my pleasure and i...

I hope... I don't want to make
you feel uncomfortable

But I hope that you will come
to the next block party

Now that I'm doing
the cat thing for you.

Oh, we'll definitely
consider it.

I know, 'cause you know at the
last block party

You had said that you were not
available that night but,

Um, we could see you through
the venetian blinds.

So, which kind of made everybody
feel a little bit uncomfortable

Because that meant that you had
not been, um, honest.

You know, I don't even remember
what night that was

And I am terribly sorry
if I offended you.

Monkey, do you remember what we
were doing that night?

Yes.

Paula:
I can tell you

What you were doing that night.

We were getting the venetian
blinds fixed.

Yeah, yeah, I guess you had a
hole in them.

And... Action!

As you can see, mr. Pedaruddi,
the pet store owner

Is feeding the mouse.

He's lowering it right now
into the cage.

The mouse is in the cage.

The cycle of life in nature——
one animal living

And another one dying so that
the first one can live.

But the second one doesn't get
that kind of a deal.

It's... Uh—oh.

Oh, god, that snake really got
him.

Oh, my god. Oh! Oh, now it's...

Ooh! Oh! Ew!

Again.

Paula:
well, brendon, you know what?

Brendon:
what, what?

I got to get the baby cleaned up
and...

Will you do me a favor?

I forgot to feed
the peabodys' cat.

Mom, I don't want to go over
to the peabodys' house.

Um, brendon, please help out.

Um... Uh... The, um,

The key is under
the plastic fake rock

That's right beside
the welcome mat.

Just flip that rock over,
grab the key.

I so hope criminals are not
listening to this.

Right.

Okay, oh, and that's the other
thing.

Can you please go in and sift
the litter box?

Oh, mom.

Brendon, i... I'm asking for a
little bit of help here.

Remember, it'll kind of be like
maybe if you had a dog.

I can see.

I'm willing to use this.

Can we get a chocolate lab?

Yes, chocolate lab.

"Lab" is short for labrador.

Chocolate labrador.

Chocolate labaradore.

Chocolate labaradore.

Can I get this in writing?

You know what, we're going
to use the honor system.

Brendon, quick like a bunny,
right now.

Poof!

Should i, uh, pet the cat or
anything, you think?

You know what, if you can pet
the cat, go ahead.

I found it a little snooty.

That's what I hear
about this cat.

Yeah—— alexandr.

Is that what it's called?

Alexandr.

Alexandre—eh.

I don't... I don't know...

Alexa...

You're supposed to stop.

You know what, you're a little
chip off the old block there,

Huh?

Okay, I've just entered
the peabodys' home.

This is what...

Here's... Oh, hey, alexandr.

Alexandru?

Ah, that cat hates me.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here's an animal that in its
normal, wild habitat

Would probably be eating mice
but now we're feeding it

What appears to be gravy and
lard.

But we're saving a lot of mice
from being k*lled

By domesticating cats.

Another thing is that now we've
begun to clean up after animals

When they use the restroom
which is a thing

That they are not accustomed to
having happen in the wild.

This cat, I don't know...

Oh, god.

Uh, the cat looks like

It's been eating rubber bands...
And ribbons.

Eww!

What a strange relationship man
and animals have.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Aah!
Here, kitty.

Here, boy...

Here, kitty!

Oh! I'm in trouble!

Here, kitty, kitty.

Here, you stupid cat!

Brendon?

Here, kitty!

Yeah, hey, mom.

Hey, I think "here, you stupid
cat" isn't going to cut it.

You should've heard what I was
saying before.

Honey, it's not your fault.

Please, don't worry about it.

Oh, mom, yes, it is my fault.

I lost the cat, and if we don't
get the cat

Then there's no way in hell
you're going to buy me a dog.

I'll tell you something,
these people will not

Be coming to the next
block party.

Oh, mom, that's the least
of our problems.

No, it isn't because
we need somebody

To bring a covered dish.

You know I don't cook.

All I can ever bring is chips
and napkins to a pot luck.

Boy, what time is it?

It's five minutes after
the last time you asked.

It's 8:10.

Okay.

There it is over there!
Do you see it?

Where? Where?

I was kidding.

Oh, mom!

I'm sorry, honey.
I'm trying to...

Oh, that's not funny.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

I'm trying to pick your spirits
up a little bit.

I've never...

You know you're so upset about
this cat thing and...

It's really not your fault.

I am the adult; I am the one
who should've taken care of it.

You know, there's a place
in the cat's mouth

Where it doesn't have any teeth.

Yeah?

Yeah, on the side.

So that when you go to give it a
pill you can kind of

Pop your fingers through that
hole and then

Pull its jaws open.

Like, what kind of pills are you
giving cats, mom?

Well, when I had cats,
they took antidepressants.

And the vet never seemed
to notice the rate

At which those cat pills
disappeared.

Right.

You know what, I shouldn't be
talking this way with you.

This is not appropriate
mother—son talk.

Sometimes...
You know what, honey?

What's that?

Sometimes, I forget that you're
just a little kid, you know.

Sometimes, because I think
we get along so great.

Yeah.

That sometimes I just...
I just forget you're a kid.

Don't let me forget.

I know...

Mom, can you buy me
some alcohol this weekend?

I'm happy to, sweetie.

Let's get drunk and forget
about the cat, mom.

Honey, I am.

Oh, my god!

What cat?

Cat's name is alexandre.

How do you say it?

Alexandre.

Alexandre?

That's french?

It is french; it's alexandre.

It's a white cat?

Yeah, it's a white cat.

Is that it?

No, but that is a cat, jason.

Okay, good.

Melissa, do you have the horn...

So we meet back here?

To blow?

If I find the cat,
I'll blow the horn.

And I have a... Um, a whistle.

Uh, okay... Hey, did anybody
find anything?

No, I still didn't find the cat.

I didn't find anything.

I didn't see any cat.

I found, uh, this pair of
sunglasses.

Those are nice.

Yeah.

They look good on you, jason.

I yelled out alexandre's name
a bunch of times but, um...

My family had a cat, and cats
don't come when you call.

Right, they don't.

So I don't think
you'll ever find it.

Anybody find anything?

Look what I found.

What is that?

Jason, what is that?

Dentures.

Ew.

Get those out of your mouth,
jason.

That's disgusting.

Arr, arr, arr...

Jason, that's...

I'm an old man.

Terribly unhealthy.

I'm old man.

Brendon, we could probably use
those in one of your movies.

Okay, yeah, well,
hold on to those.

What are you young kids doing?

Right, he's an old man.

He looks so scary.

That's really funny.

Wait, put the sunglasses on
with the dentures.

Yuck... They taste
like old man's mouth.

We are here to study the kittens
to study their every move.

Hopefully, we can learn
something from these cats

That can help us catch
that cat that I lost.

They're not doing too much,
um...

A lot of them are sleeping.

It's kind of... Get in closer.

Cats are sleeping.

Cats are... That one's awake.

Now it's asleep.

They're so cute.

Where's the cat?!

Brendon thumping on glass

Don't yell at the cats, brendon.

Where is the cat?!

I'll... I'll hold the picture
and you staple it up, okay?

All right.

Did you draw this yourself?

Yes.

It looks good.

Thank you.

I don't think this is doing
anything.

I think it's too late.

I mean, I think we would've...

It's two days.

We would've found
the cat by now.

This is stupid.

Brendon, don't take
that kind of attitude.

You got to feel like you've done
everything you can.

It probably got hit
by a car or something.

Don't think that way.

I'm telling you...

These pictures will really help.

You're doing the right thing.

Brendon, is that the cat?

I think that is the cat, yeah.

Wait... Wait.

Hey, kitty. Hey, kitty cat.

Brendon, that cat
doesn't look so good.

Shh, don't talk.

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty cat.

Brendon, that doesn't
sound like a cat.

You're just a scared
little kitty, aren't you?

All you...

Brendon, that's not
how a cat's supposed to sound.

That cat... I think there's
something wrong with that cat.

I think we should just
leave it alone.

Alexandre...

Melissa!

Melissa:
yeah!

I've tackled the cat.

Melissa:
okay, I'm inside your house.

Get a box or something.

Melissa:
a box?

The cat's got its teeth
stuck in my arm.

It hurts!

Melissa:
hold your arm straight out.

But I'll lose the cat.

Melissa:
doesn't look like
it's going to let go.

Oh, wow, you're right.

Vet:
was anybody else

Besides your son here
bitten by the cat?

No, no, not to the best
of my knowledge.

And did you see the cat attack?

No, I didn't, they were off.

Because those things
are fun to watch.

No, I'm seeing definitely
signs here

Of whether we've got
a rabid cat on our hands

And the first thing...

Oh, my god.

Well, there's actually
no reason to panic.

I'm not panicking,

But i... We're not used
to having rabies in the family.

I can certainly
test the cat for rabies.

How do you... How do you...
How do you do that?

Is it a series of questions?

How do you test
the cat for rabies?

Well, actually, even though I
can communicate with animals...

Uh—huh.

I cannot ask the cat
if he has rabies...

Right.

And get an honest response.

Because the cat will fake it?

Actually, ms. Small,
what we do is we like

To euthanize the cat and then
take a sample of brain tissue.

Oh, man.

All right.

But now, ms. Small I think what
we need to do with brendon here

Is get him to a doctor...

Yes, okay.

A physician——
do you have a physician?

Yeah, we have a physician.

Well, you should contact him
and get brendon right over there

And get him vaccinated
for rabies.

Okay.

Then you and
I can deal with the cat.

Okay, okay, brendon...

So, wait a minute.

You're going to k*ll the cat?

We don't actually call it
k*lling the cat, brendon.

We call it
"making cotton candy."

We whip up a good old batch
of cotton candy.

How about that, brendon?

Do you love cotton candy?

Wait a minute.

Just before, I have
a couple of questions.

Just please, is there any way
to keep the cat alive

And just let it be rabid
for a while?

Honey, you can't just
let the cat be rabid.

Just until the peabodys
get home.

Can we just keep it alive so
that...?

Brendon, you know what?

It's really sweet of you
to want to keep the cat alive.

This is not your cat?

This is somebody else's cat, no.

Where are the owners of the cat?

They're on vacation.

Oh, so you're taking care
of the cat.

The peabodys, well, not good
care, but, yeah.

Sorry, brendon.

So that's going to be a sweet
hello when they come home.

You know what I'm saying?

What I will do here is observe
the cat for 24 to 48 hours

To see if he is rabid...

Doctor, doctor...

Yes, brendon?

I want you to take me, too.

Brendon, honey...

No, mom, stop.

Oh, now, that's a
common reaction, ms. Small

And the children usually
do feel very guilty.

It's my fault.

I should go down with the cat.

And I'll tell you something.

We have ways to deal with this.

Brendon, have a lollipop,
all right?

That is genius.

Thank you.

Absolute genius.

What's your favorite flavor,
brendon?

Vet:
well, no, there's no cure
for rabies as of yet.

So what we do here is we have
to put the cat to sleep.

Oh, no!

Yeah.

Put to sleep
for how long?

They're going to k*ll alexandre.

Well, we don't like
to call it "k*ll."

With kids, we call it
"making cotton candy."

Monkey, hold my hand.

All right.

I like the cotton candy thing.

Well, in that case then we're
going to make some cotton candy

With alexandre.

If you'd like to be with the cat
during its final moments,

That is fine.

You'll have to...

Of course stay behind the glass
barrier because, as you know,

The cat is rabid and we do have
to take precautions.

We restrain the cat.

We have these cute little
buckles that we put around it...

Those are cute.

Yeah, it's funny when
everything's animal—sized

It's much cuter, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Neither of them
will come to the door.

They'll just talk
on the intercom thing.

Yeah, no, I tried to bring food.

I brought butterfingers one day,
I brought cr*cker jacks

And they just...

I mean, they won't even
open the door.

I guess...

Well, I read about
a pet cemetery.

I was thinking that I would
foot the bill for a service.

Oh, no, they have an...
I think they have an urn.

Yeah, they provide the person
to say the words

Which I can't remember
what that would be called

And you also get some doilies.

I'm doing this out

Of sheer guilt.

Even if I never have to deal
with her again

I'll know in my own heart
that I did what I could do...

Shh...

Shh.

Shh.

We are here today
to celebrate the memory

Of a truly beloved cat
alexandre peabody,

Son of poopy and kite,
a good, good kitty.

He is in the place where
all cats go—...

A small subdivision of animal
heaven called whiskerville

Where the rivers flow with milk
and the trees

Are filled with tuna.

Montgomery and bunny,
without this cat in your lives

You will notice yourselves
ultimately

Buying a lot less cat food.

It is our curse as human beings
to outlive

Our beloved feline friends.

We must say good—bye, feel sad
and finally, get another kitty

A different kitty to love
and pet and clean up after.

It is the cycle of kitties.

A moment of silence, please,
for alexandre.

Brendon:
everything would have happened

Nicely if I hadn't done anything
with the cat...

That's not true—-

It would have happened
to somebody else.

It was bound to happen
one way or the other.

I don't think that's true.

I think if I had not tried
to feed the cat

Then the cat would have
stayed in the house

And not gotten rabies and could
have lived another ten years...

Now that you've put it like
that, I can really see that.

But it's true... Mom, look!

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, me!

Oh, for christ's sakes.

Oh, boy.

Mom, you hit the peabodys.

Damn it.

Are they dead?

They're not, no...

No, they're moving.
Oh, man.

But is everybody okay?

Everyone's fine.

They're pissed off, you know.

Yeah. Well, they know
it was an accident.

Yeah, that was an accident.

I mean, the whole thing
was an accident.

Yes.

You know, brendon,
you should try and do something

To make them feel better
and to make yourself

Feel better about it.

I'd like to do that...

Maybe something to help them
remember alexandre.

I had a couple of things.

Give me your ideas.

I'll tell you
what you should do.

I was going to clean their car.
Not good—— next.

Oh, wait, I know.

I have this thing
in the backyard.

I've been doing this long jump
thing and every day

I get a little bit further.

Now, if I bring that out
to the front of their yard

And I start like a walkathon
kind of a thing.

I'll have people pledge money.

Brendon, I don't think a
jumpathon is a good idea.

The brendon small jumpathon.

Maybe there's something else
you could do.

Okay.

Let's focus more on something
that you can give them

That they could keep.

Yes! Good idea. Good, good.

All right, focus on that.

Good, I'm going to.

Brendon:
what's the one thing you've

Learned from treating animals
over all these years?

Um... Well, I guess
the one thing I've learned

Is that being a vet
is not great.

I guess what I learned from
all this is that the search

Is the most important part,
right?

Like, brendon, when we found
the cat, it had rabies.

So the lesson is that
when you search for something

Don't find it because
when you find it, it has rabies.

Although it is a cliche to see
a kitty playing

With a ball of yarn,
it's cliche for a reason.

A ball of yarn is fun.

It's something humans
never figured out.

Humans never saw the beauty
in a ball of yarn.

They tried to make it into
things—— sweaters, blankets—...

But the cat knew all along
that it was good as it was.

Bunny:
brendon, that really was
very sweet.

It was awfully nice of you.

Very, very nice.

Are you guys patronizing me
or do you really like this?

No, I liked it very much.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

You don't think it was a little
heavy—handed with the music

And everything?

Uh...

No, no, it was
very nice, honey.

Paula:
you did a very lovely job.

Thanks—— mr. And mrs. Peabody,

Can I get that tape back
because it's my only copy?

Montgomery:
oh, sure.

Gee, again, I'm really,
really sorry about the car.

I'm probably not going to be
able to make a film about it

The way that brendon did, but...

In my hand, I have a mouse.

It cost me $3.95 and I'm going
to eat this mouse.

I'm kidding.

No.

No, the reason I have this mouse

Is because I want
this mouse to live.

I'm saving this mouse
from the snake.

This guy's going to come home
with me because

This is the only thing I can do.

This is what it's come down to.

This mouse represents everything
to me that can be saved.

Uh—oh. Okay, wait...

Melissa:
it's fast.

Oh, god, okay.

It went under the...

Oh, man.

Duane:
it's over there.

It's near the dog bones.

Hold on.

He's so fast.

Let the snake find it.

Oh, man.

♪ That kitty cat ♪

♪ That kitty cat. ♪

Brendon:
here we are at patty's plants.

I'm getting this plant here.

I was going to get that plant
over there but apparently,

That needs a lot of attention
so I'm getting this cactus.

The cactus is known for
its loyalty and its obedience.

Let me put this down here.

Stay.

Good cactus.

♪ Wah! Wah! Yeah!
Do—do—do—do... ♪

Jason:
duane, did you write the music

Or the lyrics first?

♪ That kitty cat. ♪