03x11 - It's for You

[bunniefuu]

[Thunder crashing]

♪

[Wind howling]

♪

[Roaring]

♪

[Thunder crashing]

[Shrill laughing]

[Zapping]

[Snoring]

[Door creaking]

Hello, Gary?

Huh?

What?

This has been a long time

coming, and now you're going to

get it!

MOM: Merry Christmas, son.

So how do you like your present?

My present?

What present?

Down here, meathead.

It's your own telephone.

Cool.

It's just what I wanted.

How did you know?

How could we not know?

You've been bugging us for one

for the last year.

It's your own line in your

own room as long as you don't

abuse the privilege.

No long-distance calls.

No 1-900 numbers.

No pizzas late at night.

And especially no prank phone

calling.

Who, me?

If we ever catch you doing

that, this phone is gone.

Are we clear?

Clear.

Crystal clear.

I just can't believe it.

My own line.

BOY: You lucky slob.

I can't believe you get to have

your own phone while us unlucky

slobs have to use the kitchen

line, and it isn't even

cordless.

That is such a shame.

It's like living in the Stone

Age.

I can't even pull any decent

phone gags.

I'm out in the open.

Get yourself over here.

We can pull all the phone pranks

we want on my private line.

I'll be right over.

Don't start without me.

Maybe just one warm-up call.

Hello, Pets-A-Plenty Pet Store?

Do you have Dr. Ballard in a

can?

You do?

Then let him out before he

suffocates!

[Laughing]

Oh, very funny.

Very mature.

Thanks.

That's high praise coming from

someone who's not.

You heard Mom and Dad.

Since when do you pull phone

pranks?

They're so uncool.

I was just trying to have a

few laughs.

What's the harm?

They upset people.

That's what.

Jokes aren't funny when they're

at someone else's expense, Gary.

Tell that to my sides.

They still hurt from laughing.

[Laughing]

Fine.

Be a jerk.

But this kind of thing only

leads to trouble.

I'd knock it off if I were you.

But you're not me.

Who are you holding for?

Marie Antoinette?

I'm sorry, she's been cut off.

And speaking of sticking your

neck out, I'm afraid that if

Gary continues to dial up

trouble with his crank calls,

sooner or later he's going to

reach a very wrong number.

[Cackling]

Who's our next unlucky

caller, Johnny?

[Ringing]

Red's Meats?

GARY:Hello, do you have

pig's feet?

I sure do.

Then put some shoes on and

nobody will notice.

[Laughing]

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Hello, is, uh, Marco there?

There's no one here by that

name.

Oh, okay.

Bye.

[Laughing]

[Baby crying]

It's okay.

Go to sleep.

[Phone ringing]

[Crying]

Hello?

GARY:Is Marco there?

No, there's no Marco here.

Please stop calling.

GARY:Oh, sorry.

You can't hide.

I know you're there.

I know where you live.

And I'm coming to get you.

[Phone ringing]

[Crying]

Hello?

GARY:Hi, this is Marco.

Did I get any calls?

Look, whoever you are, this

isn't funny.

Please stop it.

I'm trying to put my baby to

sleep.

Doesn't sound like you're

doing a very good job.

Gee, she sounded pretty

upset.

Yeah.

Crying like a baby.

What's with you?

You don't think this is funny?

Yeah, but...

Maybe we go too far sometimes.

Well, you ain't seen nothing

yet.

I'm just getting warmed up.

Well, boils and ghouls, it

looks like Gary has really

crossed the line, which leaves

yours ghoully with no choice but

to cross a few lines of my own.

[Phone ringing]

Come on, answer the phone.

[Heavy breathing]

WOMAN: Hello, Gary.

I'm glad you called.

What?

What's wrong?

Did somebody breathe back?

She called me Gary.

So?

So she knew who I was.

Uh oh.

I wonder who it was.

How should I know?

I just punched a bunch of

buttons.

Who knows what number I dialled?

Maybe we should knock this off

for a while.

You know, take a break.

Just to be on the safe side.

Good idea.

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

Ugh, it's the middle of the

night.

WOMAN:Hello, Gary.

Um, hello?

Who's speaking?

It was nice to hear from you

today.

I don't get many callers.

Who is this?

Is this Steve?

I called you back.

You didn't answer.

Why, Gary?

Don't you want to talk to me?

Okay, very funny, whoever you

are.

Do me a favour.

Don't call me.

I'll call you.

[Phone ringing]

Steve, I'm warning you.

WOMAN:No, Gary.

I'm warning you.

Don't hang up on me.

I don't like it.

You called me.

I want to talk.

You are so in for it, man.

[Phone ringing]

Aw, man.

Give it a rest.

[Phone ringing]

Morning.

Gee, Gare.

It's only 8:00.

What brings you down here before

noon?

My stupid phone woke me up.

It was ringing all night.

I finally had to unplug it.

I know.

It woke us up too.

What was that all about?

I don't know, Dad.

I think it was Steve playing a

joke.

You know.

Phone pranks, honey.

Already.

What was our agreement, Gary?

It wasn't me.

I didn't do it.

It doesn't matter.

A phone is not a toy, son.

If this happens again...

[Phone ringing]

MOM: Hello?

It's for you, Gary.

Don't hold that thought.

Hello?

WOMAN:Hello, Gary.

Did you sleep well?

Who was that, Gary?

Um, wrong number, I guess.

That dork Steve is going to ruin

everything.

[Phone ringing]

Steve.

WOMAN:Hello, Gary.

Oh, man, you gotta cut this

out.

My folks are gonna take my phone

away if this keeps up.

WOMAN:It's me, Gary.

Don't you recognize my voice?

Come on, Steve, knock it off.

Knock what off?

Steve?

I, uh, thought this was you.

But it's not.

Look, whoever this is, you got

me.

Good one.

So let's just stop all this,

okay?

WOMAN:But you called me,

Gary.

I know, but just stop it.

It's not funny anymore.

Whoa, take it easy.

Who was that?

I don't know.

Some jerk.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Check out the mall or something.

[Phone ringing]

CASHIER: Gary.

Yo, Gary.

It's for you.

For me?

Who is it?

I don't know.

It sounds like your mom.

Do me a favour, will you?

Don't give anybody this number.

But I didn't.

Hello?

WOMAN:Hello, Gary.

Is this a bad time?

Hey, hold on.

How did you know I was here?

WOMAN:I know everything

about you, Gary.

How's your mom?

Really, who was it, Gare?

I... don't know.

They didn't say.

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Uh, just a sec.

Who's Gary?

It's for you.

WOMAN:Don't ignore me, Gary.

I want us to be friends.

[Screaming]

Uh, you're welcome?

Hey, Gary.

What's wrong?

Where are you going?

This is too weird.

Who's doing this?

[Phone ringing]

[Phone ringing]

[Phones ringing]

Aw, man.

This is crazy.

What's going on?

[Phones ringing]

[Phones ringing]

Stop it!

That's enough!

Whoever this is, they're really

starting to freak me out.

Why are they doing this?

Maybe somebody's just trying

to get even.

You know, give you a taste of

your own medicine?

Well, whoever it is, they're

good at it.

They find me wherever I go.

It's like they're watching me.

Yup, looks like you've gotten

on the wrong side of the wrong

person.

Steve, tell me something I

don't know.

MOM: Gary?

STEVE: Who's sending you

Christmas cards?

This can't be for me.

"Happy holidays, Gary.

Don't call me, I'll call you."

This is getting a little too

freaky, Gare.

Maybe you should tell your

folks.

And risk having them yank my

phone?

No way.

I started this.

I just have to find a way to end

it.

Get in touch with this joker

somehow.

Too bad you don't have one of

those call display phones.

You could find out their phone

number, and then you could...

Steve, why would I need their

phone number when I have their

address?

This can't be the place.

I had no idea there was a house,

let alone people, living out

here.

[Knocking]

[Knocking]

[Knocking]

This probably wasn't one of

my brighter ideas.

Maybe I should have brought

Steve along.

Did I frighten you?

Um, no, I was just, um,

expecting someone younger,

I guess.

It's a long story.

I have all the time in the

world.

Someone's been kind of

harassing me over the phone.

Do you have a granddaughter or a

great granddaughter that might

be doing this?

No, I'm all alone.

Great.

They got me again.

Sorry to bother you, Mrs...

Needam.

Emma Needam.

It was nice to meet you.

It was nice to meet you too,

Gary.

That's the voice.

It was you!

NEEDAM: Come in, Gary.

We have a lot to talk about.

Listen, Mrs. Needam...

Emma.

My friends used to call me Emma.

GARY: All right, Emma.

I can't stay long.

I just came to apologize.

You know, for bothering you like

that.

You don't sound sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Sorry I ever came out here.

How long have you lived here?

All my life and then some.

Do you like Christmas music?

[Spooky music]

So we're square, right?

No hard feelings?

No more phone calls?

No more phone calls, Gary.

Why would I do that when I have

you right here?

I... I have to go.

My folks are expecting me.

It must be nice to have a

family, Gary.

I don't.

I'm all alone.

That's why I was so glad you

called.

I didn't have anyone to talk to.

Until now.

You'll stay, and we'll have a

nice long talk.

Forever!

[Screaming]

You'll like it here, Gary.

I've prepared all your favourite

things.

We have Dr. Ballard in a can,

just the way you like him!

[Muffled shouting]

And pig's feet!

[Squealing sounds]

No!

Stay away from me!

[Screaming]

Sit down, Gary!

I could talk for ages!

Hello, operator?

No, this is Marco!

Did I get any calls?

No!

No, please!

Let me go!

I'm sorry I bothered you!

I'll never do it again for as

long as I live, I swear!

I'll never pull another phone

prank again!

Yes, I know you won't.

MAN: Hello?

It's the mailman.

Is anybody home?

Someone sent a package from this

address, but I'm afraid it has

insufficient postage.

GARY: I'm in here!

Leave it and go.

That's the last time I'm

going to volunteer for this

route.

No, come back!

No!

[Laughing]

[Screaming]

Gary!

Don't call us.

We'll call you!

[Screaming]

GARY: Hello, uh, you don't

know me, but a few days ago I

called this number and kind of

played a prank on you.

Yes, I know how upsetting that

can be.

Believe me, I'm real sorry.

Uh-huh.

Yes.

Okay.

Bye.

What?

What did they say?

Well, she told me off.

In a nice way.

Okay, who's next?

This one here.

This would go a lot faster if we

had two phones.

What happened to yours?

The only phone I'm going to

own for a while is this one.

But take my advice.

If it rings, don't answer it.

CRYPT KEEPER: I'm glad that

Gary is making amends for what

he did.

Otherwise, he'd have wound up

paying for all those calls...

with his afterlife!

So let this be a lesson to all

of you tele-pranksters out

there!

Don't call us, or we'll call

you!

[Cackling]

That's our gripping yarn for

today, boils and ghouls.

So remember, creep out of

trouble, because I'll be

watching.

[Cackling]

[Phones ringing]

Emma, stop it!

You're tying up the lines!

Emma.

Emma.

Emma!

♪