02x13 - Transylvania Express

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[Scary laughter]

Hmmm...

Ah, sinister salutations,

Crypt kiddies.

As you could surmise, I'm

Visiting this place

For the first time, and I'm

Having difficulty getting

My scarings.

This guide book lists all

The rot spots, but I'm

Especially interested

In a specific tomb.

Apparently it's vacant... Most

Evenings.

Heh-heh-heh-heh!

Ah, exhume me.

This isn't my usual haunt.

Perhaps you could tell me how

To get to a tomb.

Try standing in front

Of a ten-ton truck!

[Gasp!]

Oh-no!

Guesss whooo-hoo!

The old green-hide, do or die

The ooolld witch!

[Smooch].

Not you again!

I know this boneyard like

The back of my wart.

How about I show ya around?

Not by the hairs

Of your chinny-chin-chin.

Humph!

'Cause you're new in town,

I'll give you my four-star...

[Witch whistles]

Ooof!

Glided tour, hee-hee!

But I have to tell

Tonight's terror tale.

Just leave that to me.

Aaahhh!

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

Tonight's story is... Ahhh!

Hee-hee-hee!

It's a neck-biting tale

About two young travellers

Aboard a train of terror.

Yipes!

I call it..."Transylvania

Express."

Heh-heh-heh... Whoa!

Whoooaaa...

Na-chos... As in awesome

Quantities of processed cheese

Spread?

Na-chos.

Ya, right.

Hot dogs on strings.

Pass.

Na... Terminal odour-rama

Attack, dude lady.

Sauerkraut.

Whoa!

Like, totally sour.

Hot news flash, dude!

Major mishap!

I know, dude.

Like, zero on the transitory

Munchies.

No, dude, we got it mixed

Up.

This summer school trip is not

Destined to the king-size,

Surf sea down under like

We thought.

We're not in australia, dude.

No way!

Yes way!

But, mike, if we're not

On the home turf

Of the crocodile dude, where

Are we?

Ben, we are somewhere

In austria!

Check it out, dude.

Huh.

The sign

Says... Transylvania.

Trainsylvania, dude.

That must mean train station

In nondomestic dude talk.

Pretty lame putting a sign

Inside the train station.

Wherever we are, it says here

We were supposed to rail

A nooner to the next burg

With our travelling compadres.

So, I suggest we trade

Our tickets in for two

On the midnight trainsylvania

Express.

Aaahhh!

Oooh...

Huh?

I don't know if you've

Noticed, mike.

It's not just the fast food

Dude lady, but, like, all

The people here...

Are, like, weird?

Totally.

They, like, look weird.

Totally.

The dudes catch, like, zero

Rays.

And, like, they dress weird.

Totally.

Like pinocchio dudes.

And, like, they talk weird.

Totally!

Utter wipe-out on

The americanese, dude.

And they eat weird, too.

Total gross out!

Give me a double order

Of chunky chilli cheese melt

Any day!

Two tickets for

The midnight train, my good

Man.

[Gasps!]

[Gulps!]

Weird!

Huh?

There is no midnight train.

But it says right here that

...

It is full... No room.

No room.

No way!

Take the morning train.

I guess we wait, dude.

Gotta keep an eye on those

Weird pinocchio dudes.

They'll probably wait 'till

We're crashed out,

And then... Then...

Then what?

Something... Weird.

You don't know.

I don't wanna find out.

I got a back-up idea, dude.

First...

Almost tea time, mike.

Start the count-down, ben.

[Door slams shut]

[Gasp!]

[Pant, pant, pant].

Dude?

Uh, nice-o night-o, huh?

Full-o moon-o.

Whoa!

Major volcanic action

On the zit scene.

Dude.

Are you okay.

Dude.

[Gasp!]

You... Okay?

Whooaahhh!

Shave on, dude!

Aaahhh!

Yaaahhh...

Train's hap...

Aaahhh!

[Train whistle blows]

Yaaahhh...

Most triumphant

Anti-pinocchio dude manoeuvres

Of the most monumental

Proportions, ben, dude.

Now we can stretch out,

Catch some "z's", and we don't

Have to bunk up with that fur

Dude in the station.

Whoa!

Check it out!

Prehistoric boogie board,

Dude!

In most severe need of waxing.

It's not a boogie board,

Ben.

It's a boogie-man board.

Ben, this means one

Of our travelling compadres is

A...

A stowaway like us?

No, ben.

A shape-shifting dude!

You mean, a... A prince

Of the "d" side?

Yes, a six-foot tuxedoed

Mosquito.

This place is, like, zero

On the munchies, ben.

And that dude's gotta be out

Scrounging up for a midnight

Snack.

No problem finding it when

He gets back.

Aaahhh...

This is the most sinister

Of scenarios, dude!

I knew we shouldn't be

On this train.

We have to bail, ben.

The train's not stopping,

Mike.

We're on it 'till it gets

Where it's going.

So what are we going to do?

Find the most inconspicuous

Place to hide out.

Down, dude!

Whoooaaa!

Ooof!

I just remembered,

The shape-shifting,

Night-shift dude can transform

Into a... A robin.

No way!

Yes way!

A robin!

No, robin is the little

Dude who hangs with the bat

Guy.

Right!

Heh-heh... Oh, window blind.

Ooo-ooo!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

It's riding the wing, just

Like in that t-zone episode!

[Pant, pant, pant].

Shhh!

Aaahhh!

Ooof!

All clear, dude.

Should never have taken

This train, dude.

Most assuredly, ben,

But since we now find

Ourselves in a totally

Monstrous situation, I suggest

We give ourselves up

To the conductor

Dude... Pronto!

No way, mike!

What if the conductor dude is

One of these fang-toothed

Dudes?

Then I say we bail.

No way!

I bet that station bird dude's

Got friends.

So a bat on the train is worth

A pack of fur dudes

In the bushes.

I say we hide.

No way!

Yes way!

No way, way, dude!

Yes, way, way, dude, dude!

No!

There is only one way

To settle this feud, dude.

One...

Two...

Three!

Aaahhh!

Yieeaaahhh!

Grrrrrr!

Aaahhh!

Ah-ah...

[Gasp!]

Ah-choo!

Gesundheit.

Aaahhh!

Ahh... Ooof!

Vampires!

Aaahhh!

I saw them, ben!

The pinocchio dudes...

They are here!

So that's what they were

Doing in the station.

They were waiting

For the train!

I say we hide.

I say... Ahh... Beach

Blanket the dude.

Wrong way, dude!

Like, now you tell me?

Aaahhh...

Now!

Whoa, we did it!

The domestic dudes win again!

Maybe not.

Mike, we need some more

Stuff.

Aahh, ben.

Later, dude.

Ben.

Put it in a time capsule,

Dude.

Bennn!

We'll open it, late...

[Gasp!]

What do we do, dude?

I don't know.

Something... Anything!

Aaahhh!

Most triumphant, ben!

You jettisoned the crew car!

Hasta la vista, bat dudes

And dudettes!

Whoooaaa!

Instant replay, dude!

Yaaahhh!

We're riding the wrong car!

We should have given

Ourselves up to that conductor

Dude.

You said hide.

I said give.

So let's give.

Too late now.

We've got the conductor dude

Real stressed.

Bet he won't even stop

The train to give us the boot.

Ben.

Aaahhh!

Whoa!

Cool it, mike.

The lights go out, came

Back on, and... Whoa...

You were the "d" dude, ben.

No way!

You were obviously stressed

To the max in regard

To our monstrous encounters

Of the most major kind.

Mike.

Don't do this to me.

Aaahhh!

What's with you?

Nothing.

[Gasps!]

I'm hooked, dude.

I'm hooked!

Ooof!

Cool.

Dude.

Tunnel.

Most triumphant.

Bye-bye, bat dude.

Whoa, mike!

Whoa, ben!

I'm handcuffed, dude!

Likewise!

Aaahhh!

The door is stuck!

Now, mike, now!

Whoa, you nailed him with that

Door, dude.

He's gonna be really bummed

Now.

Told ya.

How do we take these guys

On?

A stake.

We gotta put a stake... Uh,

Um, uh... Over their eye?

We gotta bail!

Bogus.

Party's over!

Looks like he's got dibs.

Well, it could be worse,

Mike.

At least we go down

With our boards.

Nice knowing ya, dude.

Whoooaaa!

Heeeyyy!

Yeah... Board on, dude!

Showed you nondomestic-type

Bat dudes, the good old

Under 21, prime-of-life

Survival party dudes... Win

Again.

Ha-ha!

Whoa!

Whoooaaa!

Whoooaaa... Ooof!

We're in severe need

Of some rescuing, mike!

By the pinocchio dudes?

But they're weird, ben.

Not as weird as these guys.

Help!

Help!

Th-the shape-shifting dudes!

The prince and princettes

Of the double-d!

The parents of over bite!

This isn't america.

Gotta give it to them

In their language, dude.

Uh... Uh... Uh...

Vampires!

Vampires?

Vampires?

Vampires?

Ha-ha-ha!

Yah!

Ah-ha-ha!

Ha... Oops, wrong one.

Ha-ha-ha!

Aaahhh!

I have been trying to warn

You all night.

Warn us.

You are lucky.

Travelling at night can be

Dangerous if you are not

Familiar with, as you say,

This neck of the woods.

So that's why you wanted us

To take the morning train.

Yes.

Much safer for visitors

From far away.

Sure had you dudes figured

Wrong.

We thought it was

'Cause... Well, you were,

Like... Weird.

You mean different?

Everyone's different.

You are different.

We are different.

That is a good thing.

Most outstanding!

We owe you an apology, dude.

We were most bogus

In our treatment

Of you and the other pinocchio

I mean, transylvanian-type

Dudes.

[Laughter]

Ha-ha-ha!

I feel young.

Give me my roller blades.

I'm going out on the town!

Ya-hoo!

Hang... Nine!

Party on, dudes!

You know, these european

Dudes have their own way

Of doing things, and it's

Pretty cool.

Check this out, dude.

Danke!

All the way, dudes!

[Laughter]

Whoooaaa!

Whoooaaa!

Ooof!

Ohhh...

Crypty!

Oh... Ohhh...

When in rome...

Aaahhh!

Do as the romans do.

Okay, wise guy, you asked

For it.

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Ribbit.

Hee-hee-ha-ha!

Remember, boils and ghouls,

Don't leave the boneyard

Without it.

Ah-ha-ha-ha...

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