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01x48 - Moldy Oldie

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Sabrina: The Animated Series". Aired: September 6 – November 19, 1999.*
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Unlike previous incarnations, Sabrina Spellman in this series is depicted as a 12-year-old attending middle school.

01x48 - Moldy Oldie

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

okay sabrina it's time to check out our

handiwork you really think it's ready

absolutely after four days under this

ultraviolet light our little plant

should have reached the precise peak of

its growth cycle this is so exciting

yeah i'm all a twitter

oh nope it's just a bird i ate just

think uncle quigg you've created a whole

new kind of plant and because of your

invaluable help i've decided to name it

after both of us really

ladies and gentlemen for the first time

anywhere sabrina and quickly present the

squiggly

that's

it

now now looks aren't everything a hybrid

such as this must be admired for its

proportion its personality its foliage

what foliage it needs a leaf toupee

you'll see it will be the hit of

botanicum floribanda i thought you were

going to a flower show

salem that is a flower show it's the

greendale garden society's biggest event

of the year

and i guarantee the squiggly will knock

their socks off

my my is it fall already hey everyone

mail call man look at all this witch

junk mail publishers scaring house a new

barbecued bat joint a coupon for two

free warts hey zelda your invisible

cloak came

sure looked different in the catalog

look here's a letter from great great

great great grandpa gandolf

my that's a lot of greats it says he's

coming for a visit uh oh i can feel my

cheeks being pinched already last time

it took them two weeks to pop back out i

just love hearing his stories about the

old days fascinating yeah maybe the

first thousand times hey wait there's

more

p.s enclosed please find me

hey there family

grandpa gandalf it's so wonderful to see

you yeah you're prettier than ever and

how's my favorite little dribble chin

uh grandpa gandalf about that nickname i

was two oh looky here grandpa brought

you a shiny new nickel

gee

now she can buy that new wardrobe she's

been dreaming of

and for my favorite flower hilda here's

your favorite flowers snapdragons

guess i left out the snap part

allow me

sorry hilda i say maybe you'd rather

have some tiger lilies no

so what brings you to greendale gramps

you gotta notice in the mail it's time

to renew my witching license has it been

another 200 years already don't they

usually give the witchery test at the

netherworld dmv

yep

department of magical vocations but they

had to shut it down this month's place

was infested yeah you mean with

bugs

worse

elves

night and day day and night a constant

cobbling it was driving them up the wall

so for now they move the test to the

greendale office which means i can visit

my favorite relatives well you're always

welcome here grandpa gandalf in fact in

your honor i'll make a special welcome

grandpa dinner tonight let me show you

to your room

dinner

but zelda i had plans for tonight the

whole g*ng's going to chloe's to watch

music videos on her new big screen tv

sabrina you can watch videos anytime

family comes first great just great

them's the brakes dribble chin

[Music]

so i say to the pharaoh what's with this

sphinx thing is it a cat is it a person

make up your mind but then cleopatra

comes in and i forget all about the

sphinx

she was a looker i tell you you knew

cleopatra

knew her are you kidding the girl was

crazy about me

we spent so many hours cruising down the

nile together i got water logged but the

court wizard boy was he jealous he tried

to get even by making a hole of

nothingness

well you don't have those in greendale

but it's kind of a big black hole made

out of nothing and it sucks up

everything in sight

real pain so what did you do

well

everyone panicked but not me i knew a

hole of nothingness when i saw one yeah

i stood up and faced the hole with a

mighty wave of my arms i cast a spell

the hole of nothingness was plucked

forever

naturally cleopatra is thankful

[Music]

my that was exciting well

if everyone's through eating sabrina

it's your turn to do the dishes what

oh right please allow me here's a little

spell i used after supper at king

arthur's round table

[Music]

yeah i forgot

back then we had metal plates

[Applause]

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the

greendale garden club's annual botanical

floribunda flower festival judging on

the hybrid entries will begin

immediately

gee the competition looks pretty stiff

this year think we have a chance now

i'll tell you what i told custer hey

what can go wrong

i also said this looks like a good spot

for a picnic but that's another story

hmm

very

good hmm passable passable

well this is it wish us luck

good heavens

what is that it's a hybrid of trailing

arbutus we call it the squiggly

i'd call it a weed

perhaps you meant to enter it in the

compost and crabgrass division

[Laughter]

[Music]

oh poor quickly

now don't you worry about a thing that

plant just needs a little perkin up and

i got just the spell

uh grandpa maybe you better not

goodness what's happening

it's a little spell i learned from jack

you know the beanstalk guy

what is going on here

[Music]

no that's a plant you can write home

about oh

[Music]

how does that stopping spell go again

[Music]

hurry grandpa hurry

you relax youngster no need to get

carried away

what a disaster if quigley hadn't used

an axe that plant would still be growing

i'm telling you grandpa gandalf is a

menace we gotta do something just be

patient sabrina he'll be headed home

soon enough once he passes his witchery

test get real you saw what he did at the

garden festival there's no way he's

going to pass that test let's face it

he's just too

too old i agree with dribble chin but we

may have to help him yeah

oh

hi grandpa we were just saying how maybe

we should help you uh practice for your

witchery test

me practice for the test why i've been a

warlock since dirt was new i should be

giving this test

but grandpa don't butt grampa me you

think i'm too old don't you no no no no

no no not at all

well i will practice and that's final

i've never been in better magical

condition i'll prove it

here and there there and here make

myself disappear

oh my gosh don't be alarmed i'm still

here but i am completely invisible yep

i've still got it and we see it

that picture will take years to erase

from my memory it's hopeless he'll never

pass that test unless he practices we'll

be stuck with him forever then we'll

just make him practice but we haven't

taken the witchery test in 150 years i

don't even remember what's on it fear

not friends it just so happens i own a

state-of-the-art study aid

netherworld films in association with

scream work

so you want to be a warlock hello and

welcome

in this fast-paced world of horseless

carriages and high-speed locomotives

your study time may be limited but have

no fear this film will teach you

everything you need to pass the witchery

exam this is perfect

let's begin shall we the first skill

we'll focus on is levitation

during your witchery exam you will be

asked to make a heavy object rise into

the air

thanks for helping me prepare dinner

grandpa gandalf can you hand me some

milk please sure thing

and while you're at it i need some

butter applesauce and six pineapples

yeah well

okay

hey jack oh i also need a dozen eggs

right away just levitate them here

coming right up

[Music]

on your test you will also be required

to pass yourself through a solid object

[Music]

grandpa gandalf can i speak with you for

a moment yeah sure thanks sweetie be

right in

hello zelda

well there's more than one way to enter

a house

so now you wanted to see me i'm in here

grandpa gandalf

[Music]

all warlocks must be able to change the

weather this step is very important

[Music]

hmm

give it a good soaking sabrina i want

that car to glow

oh my the hose isn't working how am i

going to wash uncle quigley's car

now don't you worry i'll help you out

with a little rain

wow

you said he wanted it to glow

well today's the day you think our boy's

ready

i guess he's as ready as he'll ever be

you sure we're in the right spot yep the

department of magical vocations likes to

keep a low profile

[Music]

yeah hello my good man i'm here for my

witchery exam

what's the password your password uh uh

wait wow

oh here we are

inspected by number six

grandpa that's just the that's it come

in

[Music]

[Applause]

where do we go now grandpa let's see

troll licenses ogre arbitration devotion

permits

you

better ask someone

excuse me supervisor ma'am we're looking

for the witchery test

down that hall to 211.

thanks would you like a lovely bouquet

of snapdragons

no

mr gandolf is here for his exam

mr gandolf what a pleasure it is to see

you have a seat anyway thanks youngster

my my you've been around quite some time

sure have in fact i used to babysit for

a till in the hun nice little boy but a

bit on the wild side yeah i think we

better get on with the exam fine with me

let her rip

[Music]

well how'd he do

not bad but the test isn't over yet

there's one more challenge

there is a small matter

make my desk gold

hey wait a minute that wasn't on the

study materials

what study materials uh

i mean uh it's been on the test for

years what have you been studying from

an old film or something oh sabrina you

hilda

zelda

you've been coaching me all week haven't

you you didn't think i could pass on my

own

i'm sorry grandpa it's just that you

seem so well old i'm waiting gandalf

unless of course you can't do it old

timer

stand back you will see who's too old

are you

well he crazy to make his desk cold

i didn't say cold you old coot i said

make my desk gold get us out of here

this instant

grandpa hurry

you hold your horses i don't work well

when i'm rushed i uh

wait

i got it

look out not here you fool

well at least it's warmer

[Music]

you know that reminded me of the tank

quiet

not another word you are too old to be a

warlock anymore way too old as far as

i'm concerned

you're rejected

is a sad day for witchery yup he was one

of the greats hey i feel bad for grandpa

too but well

maybe he shouldn't have his license

anymore maybe he is getting too old but

it's just not fair don't you realize how

much experience that man has i mean

everything he's seen and accomplished

should count for something

well i guess i'll be on my way oh

grandpa gandalf

i feel terrible

no no stop your bawling

that examiner fella was right my time

has passed but you just got a little

flustered gramps yeah that could have

happened to anyone

hey you know what i say we all march

back to the dmv office and demand a

retest yeah i don't know if that's such

a good idea that wouldn't you think

dribble chin think i should try again uh

well

ow uh uh yeah sure you should then let's

get going

[Music]

there he is

so you want to go for a drive in my new

convertible tomorrow afternoon i'm a

vampire

so how about tomorrow night i hate to

interrupt your uh conference but are you

the guy who flunked my great grandpa i

most certainly am we want you to give

him the test again not a chance no way

but anyone can make a mistake not

mistakes like he makes face facts

old-timer you're so over the hill you're

coming up the other side greetings once

again do you remember us of course you

flunked your gremlin test yesterday true

but even though you failed us we want

you to know we bear no hard feelings

toward you see

not everyone is a sore loser

in fact we would like you to have this

token of our appreciation

hmm i wonder what's in here

huh

what in the world is that thing beats me

wait don't do it

what is that thing

it's a hole of nothingness and you

unplugged it you buffoon

i do i didn't know i asked

my car

grandpa you have to do something

no

very well

winds may howl and thunder roll

see says nonsense plugged as whole

[Music]

uh

way to go gramps you did it grandpa

take it easy i'm too old for this oh no

you're not that giant carrot was

brilliant just between you and me i was

trying to make a pyramid okay who

unplugged that hole of nothingness uh

i did don't you know better what kind of

warlock are you i

i couldn't help it i didn't know what it

was and i didn't know how to stop it but

my great-grandpa did my really great

grandpa good work old-timer your

experience saved the day some people

around here could learn a lot from you

and just yesterday he flunked grant oh

well you know

considering what just happened i i might

be able to renew your witchery license

after all for say uh

a hundred how many you know did i say

100

i meant

200.

[Music]

sure you don't want to stay longer

thanks but i've been a pest long enough

you have not grandpa i'm sorry i ever

said you were too old i didn't see how

valuable all your experience was no

don't you worry dribble chin when i was

your age i had no patience for old

fogies either where are you off to

gramps well now that i got my license

renewed i feel a thousand years younger

i think i'll head on down to rio and sew

some wild oatmeal

bye grandpa visit again soon grandpa

fifo from lookout rio here i go

i wouldn't want to be in rio when

gandalf pops in why not look

[Music]

[Music]

[Laughter]