01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

Attack!

Show them the mighty power

of the Royal Knights!

And off they go!

It's the Magic Knights of the Kingdom

versus the Beastmen of the Empire!

Which side has the advantage?

Let's ask our commentator,

Mr. Deadshot.

Looks like they're evenly matched

in troop numbers

but one side is trying

to siege a castle.

So it's painfully obvious

how this'll go down.

Oh, really? How can you tell?

Back when I was in the army

my dickhead of a commander

told us all the time.

"Never charge the enemy

straight on

unless you have an a*s for a head."

And if that ain't bad enough.

The discipline of the Imperial forces

is beyond the norm.

Don't fall back!

Keep charging at them!

They move like

a modern special forces unit.

Even though they're just beasts.

Hey, nutjob!

How much time we got left?

Two, one

Exactly 30 hours as of right now.

That's not enough time to come up

with a decent plan of attack.

Which friggin' sucks, cuz they've

obviously got a top-notch commander.

Brainless schmucks.

Did they really think

this would be enough to wipe out

my all lovely beasts?

What in the world?

The army's here!

That's the flag of the royal forces!

What do you morons think

you're doing?

What?

If I'm not mistaken, isn't that

the same knight who captured us?

Oh!

You mean the guy who looks like

a super stressed-out

insurance salesman!

This is clear rebellion

against the Kingdom!

Say what?

"Quit stressing me out

more than you already have!"

"I don't want to lose

all my precious hair!"

Grr

Did you say something to insult me?

Come, my sword!

Nana!

What?

Huh? You wanna piece of us, jackass?

No, wait! Hold on!

- Stay still.

- Let me handle this.

- I have an idea.

- There.

Nanaue, you want

to eat better food, right?

Screw that, man!

I never back down from

Start a fight now and we'll have

to deal with knights on our asses

all the way from here to the Gate.

That's gonna eat up

time you don't have.

Just let me handle this.

Hey, hear me out.

Wow! You can speak their language?

Yeah, but just a little that

I picked up from the other inmates.

I've been here longer

than any of you have.

Uh

Let's make a deal.

Get your ugly a*s over here.

What?

We don't wanna fight you.

So lead us to where your damn boss is

We wanna talk. Talk, got it?

Does your dumb stank-a*s understand

the words I'm saying?

Not a chance!

Go back to your cells!

Quit wasting my g*dd*mn time.

Uh

We wanna talk.

Or does your dumb stank-a*s

still not understand me?

Hey, you sure

you're getting through to him?

Because he's looking

more and more upset.

Are you sure it's smart

to try and communicate with words

you learned from orcs?

Well, I'm pretty sure it's fine

Does your dumb stank-a*s still not

Enough of your insults!

Would it be okay if I talked

to that girl and her group?

I wish to help in my own way.

So that we can end the fighting

as quickly as possible.

C-Commander!

Follow me.

That's more like it, chickenshit.

Hey! Watch it!

- Quit pushing!

- Hey!

Freakin' ow!

Would it k*ll ya to treat a lady

with a little more respect

Now this feels like a scene

straight outta the movies

I've seen a million times.

Well, it's the worst welcome party

I've ever been to.

Guess we're still in the doghouse.

What is with that demihuman?

Are these really the people

who won that last battle?

Her Majesty will see you now.

Mind your language.

These are the ones?

Yes.

Who's the lady? Some kinda princess?

Nah, that's gotta be the Queen.

Just look at her huge-a*s throne.

Plus the friggin' high

and mighty attitude.

What? What did you just say?

Whoa! I can understand her.

Must be my genius brain at work!

No, it's magic!

She cast a spell

so we understand each other!

Talk about convenience!

Your Majesty.

We humbly appreciate you

granting us an audience today.

There is an urgent request

we'd like to make

which is why

we sought to meet with you.

So you do know how to speak politely.

You are my prisoners.

What right do you have

to make requests of me?

Exactly. Know your place.

It's a miracle that riffraff like you

were even allowed into the castle.

I sincerely apologize

for our insolence in the prison.

But we have information that may

prove useful to you, Your Majesty.

All we ask in return is

your permission to move freely.

I'm sure you've realized that

the Empire has grown stronger

during the w*r.

But did you know it's because

they completely replaced

the senior officers

who lead their forces?

We already caught wind of that

long ago. If that's all you have

Very well, but are you aware that

all those newly installed officers

are from another world like us?

Another world?

What other world?

Trust me when I say

they are extremely dangerous.

But I have information about

Oh, duh! That makes sense!

Now I see the big picture.

If they were gonna send

somebody else before us

then it sure as hell wasn't

a team of legit soldiers, was it?

Keep your mouth shut.

That figures.

So the group you brought

in the beginning was

just another suicide squad, huh?

I'm guessing you lost control of them

then they ditched you for the Empire

and are now having a grand ol' time.

Hmm. I hate to put it

this way, but

You mean to tell me that

the rise of the Empire was

due entirely to your incompetence?

Wow! This is a familiar twist!

But ya know,

I do love when things go south.

Hey, Queen of this world!

We're willing to do whatever it takes

to atone for that mistake.

So choose any b*ttlefield you want.

We'll go out there, fight,

and bring peace to your lands

in the blink of an eye.

Yo! Who said you get to decide?

I trust you're willing to make good

on this man's words?

Yes, Your Majesty.

Then prove it to me.

Otherwise, this man loses his head.

Y-Your Majesty!

Having them fight in our stead

could prove disastrous!

You were the one

who brought them before me.

We wouldn't be in this situation

if your knights had held true and

fought properly in the first place.

Am I wrong?

Bye-bye!

Karma's a b*tch, ain't it?

D-Dammit! Hey, you guys!

You better get the job done!

Hey! Don't ignore me!

You know what's at stake, right?

Quit acting like

you run the show around here.

I'm not gonna bust my a*s

for this crap.

Don't forget!

I'm the only one who knows

where the Gate is!

Your heads are gonna go kaboom

without me! Don't you dare forget!

So, what now?

For starters,

I'm hungry and wanna eat.

Something really tasty!

We promised Nana good food, too.

Oh, and

I'm gonna need you

to return our stuff, 'kay?

So, you're still going

to wear a mask?

Of course. Revealing my face could

prove detrimental to the mission.

By the way

that's really what you wanna wear?

Okay. You do you.

All righty. Shall we?

Should we back them up?

No friggin' point.

You heard that hot-shot commander

Stay out of this!

Our royal forces

will do the fighting.

We don't take help from outsiders!

He sidelined us.

And we wouldn't wanna

hurt his pride, ya know?

But helping them in spite of that

could lead to them seeing us

in a better light.

Which is a fairly common trope

in the movies.

I say useless allies are

better off dead.

They just get in the way

of the mission.

Plus, if I'm being honest

taking those things on

would be a huge pain in the a*s.

They act like kamikaze fighters.

Christ.

I can only imagine

how they were trained.

Trained?

No way, I know

brainwashing when I see it.

Just look at those doggies

in the back.

They haven't even fought

and they're still roughed up.

Every last one of 'em.

Yet they don't seem

reluctant to fight

and don't give a sh*t

about their own pain.

That's not training.

That's brainwashing.

You seem to know

what you're talking about.

'Cuz I've got first-hand experience!

It's the tale

of wimpy little Harleen Quinzel

before she got liberated.

Brainwashing, obedient animals

and another expendable

group of criminals like us.

Sounds familiar.

Let's go!

I've got a good idea

of who their commander is.

He'll listen to what I have to say.

Oh? A friend of yours?

Yeah. One of my homies

from the slammer.

I can't even count

the number of times

I've saved his a*s

from getting harassed.

A fortress like this should have

an escape route or two somewhere.

Good point.

A poor set makes for a poor movie.

Could you step back a bit?

I want to try something.

Wow!

Is that all?

Can't you just wreck the whole fort

and get this thing over with?

No. This isn't my forte, you see.

My original power only allows me

to change the shape of my body.

Huh?

You haven't felt different at all?

Like something changed

after we came to this world?

Because I feel like there's some kind

of magic power flowing through me.

Unfortunately, my new powers

don't seem too versatile.

Probably because

there's not enough moisture here.

Moisture?

I'm Clayface.

I can manipulate clay.

Primarily, only the clay

that my body is comprised of.

But in this world

it seems I'm capable of controlling

any sort of clay.

Not sure if that's useful or not.

Every good protag needs

an endearing flaw.

Just look at Tom from Tom and Jerry.

He wasn't very friendly

with Spike the dog, right?

Heh.

Eat this!

Oh no.

Hey!

Oh?

I didn't think

there was anyone in the Kingdom

who could get past all my guards.

Just so we're clear,

I'm not here to fight you.

We're homies, after all.

Ain't that right, Rat?

Yo!

Surprised, huh?

That makes two of us.

I never thought

you'd be in this world, too.

That's the guy?

Yeah, he's Ratcatcher.

One of my very few homies.

Right, Rat?

Why the hell are you here?

You friggin' as*h*le!

Hey, is it just me,

or does this guy reek of sewage?

What else do you expect? None of

this freakshow's friends are human!

Schmucks like you will never

understand the greatness

this little guy is capable of.

Let me eat in peace, would ya?

Oh, Deadshot

W-We were just

Just what?

'Cuz it sure looks like

you're blowing off steam on him.

Sure, he's a miserable rat b*stard.

But you guys can't do jack

without herding together

in your own little rat pack, either.

Ain't that right?

He's a gloomy and introverted mofo

who reeks like a garbage can.

Plus, I bet his [bleep]

is like unsliced bologna

and always strikes out

with the ladies.

But so what?

Are you two superhumans

who can do whatever they want?

Then why the hell are you eating slop

in this friggin' hellhole?

Get lost!

Yo, Rat!

What's this?

It's cheese. Your fave, right?

It was headed for the trash, but hey,

let's not sweat the small stuff!

I'm cool with this instead.

Yuck, tastes like sewer.

Hey, Rat! There you are!

I've been looking for you.

Listen, if you don't want people

giving you sh*t

you gotta change your look.

Intimidate them. Know what I mean?

What?

Show this one, dammit!

Huh? Screw that!

This is the only stuff

that Rat can get off to!

He's a [bleep]

who's into [bleep], okay?

Give him a chance.

Yuck! I ain't watching that sh*t!

Wazzup, Rat! Right, Rat?

Listen, Rat. Rat!

Rat.

It's your damn fault that I I!

Why's he angry?

And you call yourself his friend?

That'd never make it

to broadcast on a TV show.

Assholes like you are the reason

that there's no peace in the world.

Devour them all!

Don't leave a single bone behind!

Hey! The rest of us

never did anything to you!

So I was right!

What's the deal, Rat?

'Cuz as I remember it,

rats are the only critters

that your powers give you

control over!

Whamo!

There's no end to these things.

We need to k*ll him!

It's your fault we're in this mess!

Do something about it!

I was just trying to be nice!

Hey, Rat! What did I do wrong, man?

Was it cuz of the [bleep]

or the [bleep]?

You b*stard!

Water flows downward.

A fact that remains true in every era

be it medieval times

or the modern day.

And water pressure is the number one

reason why water tanks are

typically built

in elevated locations

Just like these ones here!

That tr*mp

She's here, too?

What's going on?

We might have overdone it a little.

What did you do?

I told you to stay out of this!

When you guys were

getting your asses kicked?

This fort originally belonged

to our Kingdom!

And our plan was to take it back!

Whatever! You got it back, didn'tcha?

It'll be just fine

after some repairs and cleaning.

I wanna take a bath!

Maybe he wanted us

to get his hair back, too.

They've driven

the Imperial forces away!

It seems your plan worked perfectly,

Your Majesty!

I was right. They can help us.

I'm only going to help you this once.

You know how the emperor feels about

failures who can't pull their weight.

I know. It won't happen again.

I'm going to make that b*stard

and his friends suffer

by showing them

what I'm really made of!