01x22 - Psychic 2000

[bunniefuu]

stand in the place where you live now

think about Direction wonder why you

haven't now stand in the place where you

were now face about the place where you

live wonder why you have people stand in

the place where you live

now M dire Wonder whyne you have it now

stand in the place where you were now

face with us the place where you live

wonder why you never stand in the place

where you

are so

stand morning Mom and Dad or is it dad

and mom I always get you two mixed

up so what kind kind of crazy Looney

laam Min type Shenanigans are you up to

today well actually nothing at all I

have no plans whatsoever today is going

to be that true Rarity in my life and

ordinary intensely boring nothing

special

day

will you listen to that boy eat every

morning it's like we're swapping the

Hogs lay off him CED those are the

sounds of a healthy normal boy now they

make me sick to my stomach knock it off

Chris don't slow me down for once he

listen what the hell I'm looking down on

myself ooh I really shouldn't inquire

into some sort of

hairpiece

huh some sort of incredible Mystical

Force is beckoning me

Skyward hey this is kind of cool I feel

like a slightly bloated Peter

Pan wow this is exactly like they said

the Hereafter would be in those Time

Life books so that was money well spent

it kind of makes my theory that it would

be one big giant circus tent with a lot

of cotton candy and pess dancing pants

kind of sound foolish

now boy there's even that incredibly

peaceful white light drawing me ever

nearer would you know it even the

afterlife has its share of

muggers we're here to comfort your

oh I'm sorry you looked like you were

going right for my wallet just move

toward the light

that really hurt

jerk okay this is it they say when you

reach the light all the mysteries of

life will be answered like why we're

here and why there's always room for

Jello oh oh Mr Lincoln oh your highness

I'm your hugest fan listen cly you're

not supposed to be here yet get lost

what you heard me there's been a scw up

now get the hell out of here all right

all right don't push me jeez an attitude

like that it's no wonder you got

shot I guess I get to go back because my

mommy and daddy labored to save my

life hey Mom Dad how about a little

action huh jeez what are they waiting

for me to start stinking up the

place Fred doesn't Chris look a little

bluish to you all I know is it's finally

quiet around here don't jinx it look at

him he is distinctly

blue he probably choked on his cereal

again well then do something all right

woman great can you move it Dad jeez not

in the mood to be in some kind of limbo

hell for the rest of my

life oh jeez boy well it's about time

gosh I could have been floating outside

my body forever I could have gotten

brain

damage wait a second maybe I

did I'm having trouble telling the

difference between Apples and cheese you

always did have trouble with

that good wow that's

relief well I'm kind of tired I think

I'll go upstairs and take a nap dying

kind of makes you

sleepy

I think maybe I'll have a little glass

of moo and then it's off to Dreamland

USA boy what was that I'm used to little

explosions going off inside my head but

that one was a lull

paloa oh

boy

oh well two weeks past the expiration

date that always takes a couple of

seconds to get used to

it

okay

okay hey wait a second I'm doing exactly

what I just saw myself doing doing hm

that's weird even for

me there's another

one boy why would I be holding my head

like

that

jeez hey hey neat neat I can see the

future oh no no that's nuts come on

they'll say you're crazier than the time

you said a miniature UFO flew into your

stomach no no that was just a little too

strange that could never happen to

me oh my God it's exactly the same right

down to the cute sexy sequin vest I can

see into the future oh Mommy and Daddy

are going to be so proud you're an idiot

boy but why don't you believe me because

it has the distinct ring of a UFO flew

into my navl all right all right I know

I ran into a little bit of a hard

evidence problem on that one but that

was just because you were too cheap to

have my gut cat scaned this I can prove

Dazz us

all sometimes I have to hit my head to

make it happen

you need some help with

that okay Ma very soon you will have

bright red hair not unlike

Bozo Chris what is this desire in you to

always make an a*s of yourself I would

never make my hair Bozo red I hate Bozo

he is nothing but a thinly disguised

Satan for children I love

boo all right fine let me try something

that'll happen a little sooner

uh okay fine dad before this meal is

over you will tell me to shut the hell

up Chris not a meal goes by I don't tell

you to shut the hell

up some people are so threatened by

other people's superpowers Chris you've

got to understand it's hard for your

father and me to believe you have any

ordinary abilities let alone special

ones wait I almost got

one oh okay fine good dad bless you what

the hell are you talking

about

Tada shut the hell up taada again that's

it predict

this so wonderful to finally have the

two of you back it's nice to be back um

it's just the four of us this time right

yes for the h hundredth time that bald

Pinhead Chris Peterson is not going to

crash our dinner party again come on let

me in I got something to show

you I swear on my father's life I said

nothing you know we really we have to be

going my wife is starting to get the

shap no I assure you he won't get

in the doors are all locked and sealed

the house is virtually idiot proof

Jee the hell with you there you see I

mean it's as easy as outsmarting a

stupid mangy skitzy SCH

s

yeah good evening Fair partygoers the

door was jammed but the Trellis was

quite

accommodating Chris I'm going to give

you this one chance only get out or

die but Chris Peterson has already died

once

today but never fear for in his place

was reborn an Entertainer like none the

world has ever seen suffice to say it's

as if everyone's dream had come true and

Zig freed and Roy had a

baby get him out of here or suffer later

I realize that my presence may cause

some initial trepidation in some of the

less attractive meaner types Among Us hi

Sharon but I assure you that your anger

will turn to Delight once I show you my

Wares oh no he's going to Moon

us how crass and inaccurate of you sir I

assure you dear lady that my posterior

shall remain sheathed in my

trousers for the

moment and now watch as I take you on a

mystical magical journey into the

strange and wonderful world of the

future oh oh okay

ah my dear with such a handsome frck you

ought not to be so clumsy with your

beverage and you sir shall have to see a

repair man in the morning about those

spectacles you wear thank you thank you

thank

you you thank you thank you all right

that's it I hope the two of you don't

mind but as Hostess of this dinner party

I feel it is my duty to punch his face

in now take it

easy

well uh as you can see both my

predictions have transpired exactly as

predicted mam would you care to examine

the glasses to satisfy yourself that

they are not of the trick variety get

away from me you b*stard yes well uh

perhaps that's a good idea I'll uh go

into the kitchen and retrieve a handy

wipe for your garment and when I return

we can discuss some of the Visions I've

had into Mankind's more distant future

uh here's a little hint to wet your

appetites foil

pants don't be such a Wallflower don't

be afraid to come on a little

stronger oh my God someone's going to

k*ll

Sharon listen fetty Ted I'm sure he'll

be right back to

apologize you're going to die up there

honey run for

it hry wake up the question is who

wouldn't don't you see what this proves

everything I've been saying for all

these years that you you can't go around

being an annoying humorless man-eating

without eventually getting k*lled

for it CHR if you really can see into

the

future I'd like you to look into it

right now oh sure no

problem H well I I guess I better be

going but Sharon you got to believe me I

wouldn't just say something like that

cuz I'm

not

Now isn't that interesting even though I

clearly saw Sharon hit me I was able to

avoid the blow thereby answering the

age-old question as to whether or not

the future is fluid and changeable or

forever edged in

stone obviously there are no simple

answers I don't know what I'm so upset

about I mean I did my part I warned her

and she didn't listen it's not like

there's any kind of cash reward involved

so what if she

dies oh no I can't say that I mean she's

a human being or at least something just

one notch

below oh no there it is again these

things are actually kind of fun to

watch look the TV is playing an episode

of Mod Squad the one where link gets

emotions that's on tonight Sharon

Potter's going to die tonight

wait why can't I see who the k*ller is

it's as if I'm seeing everything through

his

eyes wait a second the reason I can't

see who the k*ller is is because I'm the

k*ller I did

it oh no no that's that's not possible I

mean sure I've thought about it every

day since I've known her but that's just

my little cute

imagination no I I couldn't could I nah

it's not like everything I've predicted

has come true

hi

Chris jeez he turns more into an old

woman every day don't be frightened

honey it's just your parents we came to

apologize I put a rinse on my hair and

it came out looking like Bozo just like

you said must have gotten a mislabeled

bottle anyway you probably did come back

from the dead with some psychic power or

some kind of junk and we'll never doubt

you

again in fact now we're more frightened

of you than ever it's like having one of

the children of the

dam oh Mom and Dad this couldn't have

come at a more critical time I need you

two to believe in me now for I have

truly glimpsed a hor oh this is getting

good what is it I've had two distinct

visions that Sharon Potter will be

m*rder*d tonight and no one will believe

me but now I have the two of you to back

me up oh you're nuts boy what do you

take us for morons you just said this

well Bozo hair is one thing but this

call us when you have a

body Mom Dad wait wait you got to

believe me I've seen it I k*lled her I'm

going to k*ll Sharon Potter all right

all right suppose you are going to k*ll

her what are we supposed to do about it

yeah there's a good Mod Squad on

tonight uh tie me up tie me up like

you've never tied me up before tie me up

so tight that I can't get out no matter

how Stark raving mad I

become

not so tight Ma I think you're cutting

off my circulation hey you said tight

you get tight don't bug me you do now

all that's left is to gag him don't gag

him fredd he might choke on his own

vomit all right Mom Dad thank you you

know sometimes I wonder if you two guys

really love me but then it's it's

moments like these that I realize I have

the best damn parents in the whole wide

world now remember don't untie me no

matter how I may scream green yell and

curse you don't have to remind us honey

those have always been the rules if he

drowns out Mod Squad he gets the

game oh great oh boy now I can finally

relax

wait wait it's not me it's not me I'm

not a maniac I'm normal or or at least

more normal than I thought it's my best

friend Larry Potter jeez the guy's

finally come to his senses good for

him oh what am I saying I I can't say

that I can't let a person die not even

if it's Sharon

Potter oh how am I going to save her you

know they say at moments like these is

when people you care about are IM mortal

danger you can generate superhuman

strength

hey sorry Sharon you should have been

nicer to

me jeez okay so I don't have superhuman

strength but luckily my dad's still ties

knots like a girl there we go oh

yes

great uh hello police yes uh someone is

being m*rder*d or about to be yeah it's

uh Larry Potter and he's murdering his

wife Sharon Potter right and they live

at 1343 uh metal Brook Lane uhhuh who am

I uh I'm ell

Fitzgerald oh oh well thank you very

much that's that's very nice it's

useless to struggle I've got you

now Larry lry get off

her Larry

Larry Larry you'll never get away with

it Larry if you're going to k*ll her at

least think of something a little more

clever Larry why did you stop I was just

getting into it oh my God she's

Delirious from lack of oxygen Sharon

Sharon it's okay it's okay it's me I I

saved you from death me your worst enemy

in life ironic

huh away from me you idiot you you idiot

I think she's almost back to normal what

the hell are you doing here oh my God

she doesn't remember oh you poor

confused shrew sh Larry was trying to

k*ll you and after a long internal

struggle I decided to save your life so

you see I've discovered Newfound

feelings for you Sharon and I think that

deep down you probably have those

feelings for me too Larry was not trying

to k*ll me you

Sharon you're making my newfound

feelings for you go straight down the

crap I saw him try to k*ll you oh Chris

we were just sort of fooling around huh

kind of gets us in the

mood uh excuse me are you saying that

this whole thing here was uh a little

game

that's

sick usually she chases me but every

once in a while she lets me

switch shut up why don't you just go

ahead and tell him all our private

secrets well actually I thought he had I

feel kind of personally betrayed here

how could you keep something so weird

from me I couldn't get you to shut up

about the dinosaur mask and the ball of

twine I told you nothing sweetheart that

was just an incredibly lucky

guess well I guess if anything this

proves once and for all that I I can see

into the future what the hell is that uh

well that that would be the police yeah

uh I took the liberty of giving them a

call but you know I I'm sure everything

will be fine once you guys explain what

was going on here in great

detail do you know Sharon I honestly

think we learned kind of a valuable

lesson here tonight that no matter how

you and I act deep down we honestly care

about each other's welfare and I think

that maybe we even love each other

Chris that is just so

sweet it's too bad that you have to

die now ain't that the craziest

thing

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