Take a Chance (2023)

[bunniefuu]

Waiting for "Waterloo" by ABBA for Sweden.

I miss her incredibly.

Nearly not a day goes by

where I don't think about her.

Agnetha Fltskog!

Do you have a favorite outfit?

Yes, personally I like jeans and pullover.

You and Frida always look,

absolutely beautiful.

Sometimes, I think

that if I told people this

they'd think I'm just lying.

We loved each other.

We want ABBA!

The thing about fan worship

It's a fantasy.

Certain types of extreme fans

truly believe that they know them.

You get a lot of letters and strange

things from slightly sick people.

This was definitely idolatry

at its most extreme.

He was the one who loved Abba the most.

From eight years old he was like,

"I want her."

This was someone

who took their infatuation

one step, two steps, three steps further.

Stalking is a pattern

of unwanted, fixated, obsessive behavior.

It's very dangerous.

The Dutchman who for several months

stalked and harassed Agnetha Fltskog

was today convicted at Solna Tingsrtt.

It was the beautiful blonde attacked

by a terrible, ugly man,

but every story has two sides.

She wrote me a letter.

This is the proof I have

of us having a good relationship.

This love story that he has created

isn't love. It's a crime.

This man who stalked you,

is he still bothering you?

I don't know if I can talk about that.

Due to security reasons, I can't.

Today he was convicted of harassment.

I've rarely heard a story with such

wild swings between euphoria and terror.

-Do you still love her?

-Yes, I love her very much.

COEVORDEN, NETHERLANDS

22 YEARS AFTER THE VERDIC"Hello, Agnetha."

"I will never send this letter,

and you will never read it."

"But it feels good to write to you

anyway."

"There's not a lot going on

here in Coevorden."

"I still work at the warehouse."

"You don't have to think very much.

I like that."

"I think way too much otherwise."

-Hello.

-Welcome.

"I've begun seeing a therapist."

"We spoke about you today.

About our relationship."

"He wondered why things came to an end."

"I didn't know how to reply."

"Why did you break up with me?"

It's very sensitive.

Because

Because it's not over.

Not for my part, at least.

The thing is that I had a relationship

with a famous woman.

And the woman keeps denying

that there was ever a relationship.

And I'm in the papers again,

with "he's stalking me

and ruining my life."

It sounds strange, but when I tell people,

most people think:

"He's lying like crazy. It can't be true."

It's definitely a very unlikely story,

unbelievable story, I have to say.

-Isn't it?

-You're free to say so.

A man from the Netherlands

that's no Brad Pitt, so to say.

That this has happened, so to say.

This is very special.

When I heard

about his story I only knew very little.

My picture was that he really did not have

a relationship with her.

So I was just curious

what is his real story?

Not only what's written in the media.

CLASSMATE

I went to elementary school

with Gert van der Graaf.

And I remember him as a quiet boy.

He kept to himself.

I don't remember Gert,

probably because nobody noticed him.

But even then you should

remember somebody. It's just strange.

It must have been hard on him as well.

I didn't have a lot of friends as a child.

I was a bit of a distant person.

When I turned eight,

I got a turtle named Bram.

As soon as I got home from school,

I gave him something to eat.

Some minced meat or a worm or something.

Bram was a sort of friend to me.

I developed a bond with him.

He was always there for me.

My sibling always brought home

classmates and they played together,

but I was always alone at home, alone

in my room, playing with things I liked,

or listening to music.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to

the 19th Eurovision Song Contest.

I remember that I was eight years old.

My dad sat down on the couch, and

we watched the Eurovision Song Contest.

First it was England, then France

and after that, it's Sweden.

We move into Sweden,

the largest of the Scandinavian countries.

Although we are looking at streets, it's

full of mountains, lakes, and forests.

Of course it's full of blonde Vikings.

This is why it's good for pictures.

These are ABBA.

If all the judges were men,

I'm sure they would get a lot of votes.

You will see why in a minute.

Their song is called "Waterloo."

I remember that Agnetha and Frida

walked down some stairs

and started singing "Waterloo."

I've seen this a hundred thousand times.

That evening, my life was changed.

A new world opened up.

I was caught by Agnetha's eyes.

Those beautiful, blue eyes.

They were pretty to look at, her eyes.

I loved the song and started singing.

"Waterloo, Waterloo, Waterloo!"

And I sang again. "Waterloo, Waterloo!"

Until my dad said:

"Stop singing 'Waterloo'!

You're driving me crazy!"

The winning song

of the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest.

Sweden with "Waterloo," performed by ABBA.

ABBA won, and I was really happy.

After that night, I was mad about ABBA.

As soon as the Eurovision Song Contest

ended,

I went up to my room and tried to set up

the radio to listen to "Waterloo" again.

For the next number,

would you kids like to join us here?

It's a song called "Waterloo"!

The magic that happens

when ABBA plays is crazy.

It was such a good song, so catchy

and fresh. They looked amazing.

We got the song that won by the Swedish

group ABBA. It's about Waterloo.

Eurovision was the perfect

launching pad to go international.

Suddenly we've reached take-off,

and the rocket lifts off. "Oh my God."

They are ABBA and their song that

everyone wants to hear is at number 1.

In the '70s, there was an ABBA hysteria.

They had millions of fans

from all around the world.

In Australia,

more people watched ABBA on TV

than watched the coverage

of the first man landing on the moon.

They had the whole package.

Geeky guys, gorgeous girls,

fabulous music. It's irresistible.

ABBA is already

selling hundreds of thousands

of records in the US.

They were touring, revered, loved,

cracking America, cracking countries.

They were huge.

We're proud of what we've accomplished,

and that's what we want the world to know.

They were the modern Beatles.

How does it feel to be an idol?

I'm exhausted!

Gert sets his sights on Agnetha

from a very young age.

This attraction was about her beauty

and what she symbolized.

It wasn't that she was a great singer

or that they were a great band.

"I love their music. It makes me want

to dance." It was all about her.

Gert has loved Agnetha

since he was eight years old.

It's hard to get rid

of an obsession like that.

Here is a collection of CDs.

Agnetha's complete Swedish repertoire.

And here I've got lots of movies,

Swedish movies.

Fifteen years ago, I wrote the book "Fans"

about idolatry and obsession.

That's when I met Gert van der Graaf.

I've got a few t-shirts as well.

Everything I have is Swedish.

I interviewed Gert van der Graaf

for three days.

One reason why I wrote "Fans"

was that I myself have been a fan

of a number of artists.

So I could relate, in part,

to his extreme devotion.

My room was in the attic.

There I could be alone,

and I started gathering information

about ABBA and Sweden.

I collected things, I read magazines,

and I watched Swedish movies.

Emil of Lnneberga, Pippi Longstocking.

Gert loves Sweden,

and he has a pretty idealized,

Astrid Lindgren-based image

of Sweden as a nation.

I liked Volvo, Saab, Scania, Volvo trucks.

Electrolux, Ikea, Husqvarna.

Swedish food.

Salisbury steak, minute steak,

hot dogs, falukorv sausage

I loved everything that had to do

with Sweden and ABBA.

Perhaps this can be compared with

how some people have a hole inside,

and then they find Jesus.

ABBA may have become

an ersatz family or circle of friends.

Since he didn't have any other friends,

other than a turtle,

he could dive into these records,

into the glittering world

that ABBA offered.

He found something that he could focus on,

fixate on, and fantasize about.

Then it became It grew into a fixation,

a delusion, a fantasy.

ABBA's music worked as a medicine for him.

It healed his soul,

and Agnetha Fltskog became his

obsession, his love, and his worship.

When I was a teenager,

the others in my class

started getting boyfriends

and girlfriends.

I went home and listened to ABBA.

I became more and more interested

in Agnetha.

A very Happy New year

to all our Dutch viewers.

-From Frida.

-From Benny.

-And from Bjrn.

-And from Agnetha.

It could feel deep down inside

that Agnetha was becoming interesting.

I think she's amazing.

Where did you meet? Is it a long story?

Oh, it's a long story.

At first I met Bjrn, and Frida met Benny.

Then we got together later.

-And joined up as a foursome.

-But we met as friends.

Agnetha was my first true love.

But unfortunately,

she was married to Bjrn.

You've almost been promoted as

From the beginning it's been very clear

that you are two couples.

You're a tight unit where you're

not only recording, singing, touring,

but you're married to each other! It's not

like they, "How was your day at work?"

"I've been with you in the studio. We're

writing songs, singing, arguing, touring."

That's intense.

Something earth-shattering is happening

in the personal lives

of Agnetha and Bjrn,

causing upheaval

in journalists' minds: a divorce.

-As you can see, we are good friends.

-Oh.

In 1979, she divorced Bjrn.

We don't want to discuss it anymore,

at least not I.

And there I saw an opening for perhaps

getting a close contact with her.

Gert and I were members

of an ABBA fan club.

GERT'S PEN-PAL

He was one of the many people

who I used to exchange letters with.

He always focused on Agnetha.

I myself was a big fan of Frida.

She was my idol.

So we talked a lot about such things,

but for him it was always about Agnetha.

The goal was to meet Agnetha.

The very first letter,

I wrote from the Netherlands.

I didn't speak Swedish then,

so I tried writing in English,

which I had learnt a bit in school.

I didn't have her address,

so I just wrote "ABBA, Agnetha, Sweden."

I didn't get a reply, so I continued

to write letters,

hoping they would arrive.

Many fans could handle it normally.

Posters on the wall,

perhaps go to a concert

and perhaps get a chance of meeting them

to get a picture and an autograph.

That would be enough for them.

But never for him.

Being a fan is a part of growing up.

I think that's healthy, actually,

to feel that you belong to something,

a group, a collective, a shared identity.

But the problem comes

when fan becomes fanatical.

This is where things can really mushroom

and blow out of all proportion.

Please sit down.

The papers have been full of stories

that you're going to split, eventually.

-You're not?

-No.

-Are you quitting, or will you keep going?

-We've been asked that from the beginning.

When will we stop?

When will ABBA fall apart?

That's still just as difficult

to give an answer to.

We've said that we'll continue

as long as it's fun,

and as long as we have

something to give, musically.

IS ABBA BREAKING UP?

The fact that you only had

two couples and they both divorce.

You've got no band anymore.

So really, the end of those two marriages

was the end of ABBA.

It was a very sad time.

To have such an amazing, euphoric career

and success in the music business

and then you are splitting as a group

and as a couple.

For them it was awful.

For the fans, too.

In 1982, when ABBA broke up,

Gert was heartbroken.

Until he read that Agnetha Fltskog

was going for a solo career.

Agnetha Fltskog, welcome to Britain.

You're here to promote an album coming out

later in the month.

The album comes the last of May, and it's

called "Wrap Your Arms Around Me".

I might.

She went on a promotion tour of Europe

and performed in a Dutch TV program.

I knew that Agnetha was coming. But I

wasn't allowed to go by my mom and dad.

So I skipped school and biked

as quickly as I could

about 50 kilometers to Aalsmeer.

Hi. Welcome to Holland, Agnetha.

It's a great honor for us

to have you here in our show.

-It's so nice to be here.

-Yeah.

There she was, for real, in front of me.

Live in RAI, Agnetha Fltskog.

It was the greatest dream I'd had.

She looked out into the audience

when she was singing,

and I felt that she looked straight at me.

She gave me a very special look.

-We love you.

-I love you.

I wanted to get even closer.

That's when I decided that one day,

I would go to Sweden.

And try to find her.

The delusions that come from stalkers

are the stories

that they play over and over,

the fantasies.

It comes from, "Oh, they looked at me.

They were seeking me out."

Then this whole story plays out

in their head.

In his mind, now it's just cemented,

these feelings that he's had.

He is determined that he will

get her attention and win her affection.

I had no money, no car,

not even a driver's license,

and I couldn't speak Swedish.

So I worked really hard

to realize my dream.

Gert gathered return bottles,

worked at a patisserie, in a warehouse.

He saved all his money

and allowed himself no excesses.

The goal was to get to Sweden.

He devoted his entire existence

to getting to this woman.

His role on this planet, this Earth,

this life was to be with her.

He just went for it.

"What the heck? I don't have anything."

"Let's go for it. Let's see what happens."

I got my driver's license, I bought

a Volvo, and I took lessons in Swedish.

It took many years, but when I was 28,

I could at last make my dream come true.

She's celebrated,

successful and beautiful.

He's a Dutch weirdo.

All the odds are against a romance.

All the odds were against a romance.

You watching "Waterloo",

ABBA videos and concerts

That's a one in ten million chance that

you will have a relationship with her.

It's unbelievable.

It felt absolutely wonderful.

I almost kissed the ground when I arrived.

I was finally in my dream country.

The first time I went to Sweden,

I had a map exactly like this one.

So I ended up in Halmstad

and followed the E6 to Gothenburg.

Gert drove along the west coast.

He had heard that Agnetha had

a house near the Norwegian border

which she didn't.

He visited cities in Sweden,

and in every city,

he went to a phone booth

and checked the phone book

looking up Fltskog

to see if she lived there.

Finally, he came to Jnkping,

the city that Agnetha Fltskog is from.

I was hoping to find her there.

I found the address

of an Agnetha Fltskog.

I could barely believe it.

I bought flowers and chocolate

and went to the address.

I pressed the buzzer and waited.

I was so nervous.

And when the door opened

it was the wrong Agnetha.

That made me a bit disappointed,

but in Jnkping, I met another ABBA fan.

She told me

that Agnetha lived in Stockholm.

Stockholm was so beautiful,

an old city yet at the same time modern.

But it was big,

a lot bigger than I'd expected.

When I realized how big Stockholm was,

I started to lose hope.

I got lost everywhere I went. I was

thinking that I'd never find her here.

Agnetha Fltskog lived out on Eker

and rarely came into the city.

She was a very reclusive artist surrounded

by myths, Pop Sweden's Greta Garbo.

You won't believe this,

but by coincidence I ended up

at Skytteholm, a hotel on Eker.

He claims he went there

looking for cheap accommodation,

not because he knew

that Agnetha Fltskog lived on Eker.

He claims that he ended up there

by coincidence.

There's never a coincidence.

They plan out how they're going

to get up close and personal.

For the stalker, that's when they come

alive and are connected to this person.

At the hotel, I met a bartender.

I told him that I was a fan

and was looking for Agnetha in Stockholm.

He took paper and a pen

and started drawing a map.

Apparently,

she lived ten minutes from there.

So I drove there.

Gert drove out to her large estate

thinking, "Wow, this is where she lives."

I think he brought Dutch Gouda cheese

and some tulips with him.

Agnetha was driving out, and the two

nearly crashed into each other.

Gert was thinking, "Oh, no.

What if I had crashed into my great idol?"

It was the first time I saw her.

I was a bit sorry

that I did something like that.

Maybe she got shocked or scared.

I drove back to Skytteholm and drank

a coffee to calm my nerves a bit.

I was thinking about how

the next time would be.

But then it happened.

According to Gert,

they met at a parking lot at Skytteholm.

Agnetha was out on a walk,

and it was her birthday.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

I was caught by surprise

that she was at the same place as me.

She was walking with a man.

I didn't know who that person was.

I was both happy and worried

at the same time.

I said, "Happy birthday, Agnetha."

I saw it in her eyes

that she got a bit happy.

Already by that time,

I felt there was something between us.

In some way, we had a strong connection.

I felt that something clicked between us.

You've got to look at

it from Agnetha's point of view.

A fan says "Happy birthday".

She's going to respond in a nice way.

But the way Gert's taken that,

is completely different

and he's built his own fantasy

of what that means.

Gert felt that something magical happened

between them when they first talked.

I have a hard time believing that

Agnetha Fltskog felt something similar.

Agnetha Fltskog.

-I think you didn't expect that.

-Did you just fall?

I can understand

that people are big fans of Agnetha.

She is such a great artist.

I can imagine many boys

must have had a crush on her.

Agnetha has to put up

with her butt all the time.

And her blonde hair, I guess.

I see that as a positive thing,

but other things may be less positive.

She's more than "I'm so pretty."

She had the talent as well.

Obviously, the looks are great.

Lots of pop stars just look good,

but she was also an amazing performer.

How long did it take you

to record the album?

-Between two and three years.

-That's quite a long time.

Everybody was in love with Agnetha.

She was a fantastic songwriter.

We love you!

-Thank you.

-What did that woman say?

"I love you. We love you."

Agnetha Fltskog is one of the most

iconic Swedish women of all time.

Her charisma, her presence and her look

left a deep impression in music history.

My name is Leif Schulman. I've worked

as a journalist since the seventies.

Through my work I've often come into

contact with ABBA throughout the years.

We met privately at different parties.

I have a memory of one of these parties

seeing Agnetha getting up

and going to the living room floor

where people were dancing.

She stood there listening, humming, and

dancing a bit to the music. As people did.

In my view, she was this great artist,

but here she was just a normal girl.

She loved to sing and stand on the stage,

but what she didn't like was the touring.

ABBA on one side

and the children and family on the other.

-How does it work, Agnetha?

-Of course it's also a problem.

Because you always feel guilty

that you don't have enough time for them.

The children always need you. Even though

they're ten they need you as much.

She definitely wasn't comfortable

in the star roll.

She has always been the girl next door.

She was never really the star.

She was and still is

the girl from Jnkping.

It shines through her.

-I am like everybody else.

-That's exactly what you are not.

Yes, I am. I'm so very ordinary.

I got such a strong feeling

from our first encounter.

So I started dreaming

of Agnetha becoming my girlfriend.

When I got back home to Holland,

I started planning my next trip to Sweden.

I traveled perhaps 30 times

between Holland and Sweden.

Back and forth, back and forth.

I wrote a hundred letters, at least.

In the letters,

I wrote which dates I was in Eker.

I didn't get any replies,

but I never gave up.

I tried to be in places

where I could I get a feel

of where she used to go.

Everybody needs to go out to eat

sometimes where you live.

-So that was only a plan, then?

-It was already a plan, yes.

Then I knew which sushi bar

she used to get take-away,

where she went to eat out,

and where she used to shop.

I knew where she went on walks,

which car she drove

Yes, I kept track of that.

I kept an eye on it.

It's terrifying when another human being

spends all their time

and commits to researching

and hunting another human being.

That's what we should call it.

Hunting humans.

In order for a stalker to

stop, they must recognize that it's wrong.

I think that's where the problem lies,

because if you allow this delusion,

this fixation, to fester

it just evolves.

I commuted every weekend to Eker.

It was really frustrating.

Staying at hotels was getting expensive.

Later on, he discovered that there was

a small house nearby, on Eker.

This small house was for sale.

He thought that if he stayed there,

he could even get to know Agnetha.

So in May of '97,

I bought a house on Eker.

Eight hundred meters from Agnetha's house?

It takes his stalking to another level.

It shows how obsessed he was with her

and how extremely fixated he was on her.

It must be quite unusual

even for a stalker

to get a mortgage and buy a cabin

to live near the person you're fixated on.

For ten years,

I was followed and chased wherever I went.

It felt difficult sometimes

to never be left alone.

Sometimes I just long for a place

where I can be by myself.

Agnetha, the blonder singer of ABBA.

The songs are still heard,

but Agnetha is no longer seen.

The superstar has turned her back

against the music and the audience.

From '92 to '93, Agnetha Fltskog

disappeared from public life completely.

She says no to every interview,

shuns the outside world,

and has even employed a security

company to keep curious people far away.

I've had it with traveling

and barren hotel rooms over the years.

Many times I've been in some place

missing home,

where I can be myself with the kids.

AGNETHA'S DARKESSECRET REVEALED

In the early nineties Agnetha had

some difficulties in her family.

THIS IS WHERE HER MOM FELL

Her father died. Her mother committed

suicide. Terrible. You're in shock.

You need comfort, you need compassion.

Someone has to understand you.

Agnetha Fltskog had recently

been through her second divorce.

She had also lost both her parents.

Not long after that,

Stikkan Anderson passed away.

ABBA's discoverer and manager.

Stig Anderson is first out.

Stikkan Anderson

is dead, the music publisher,

lyricist, and father of ABBA.

That is how

he will be remembered by the world.

I thought Agnetha

would be broken by sorrow.

And I wanted to be there

when she needed me.

He gets into his car after a long shift

at the warehouse

and speeds off toward Sweden to help her

in this difficult moment.

I wanted to help and support her,

the same way her music had done for me.

I fell asleep by the wheel

and overturned my car.

I lost control of the wheel.

I overturned all the way up

to that bridge, the viaduct.

The car was totaled, and I was

brought to the hospital in Sdertlje.

It wasn't that bad.

I was tired, that was pretty much it.

But this accident

turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

He writes a letter to Agnetha

from his hospital bed.

He goes back to his house on Eker,

and the following evening,

there's a knock on his door.

I was doing the dishes

and looked out the window.

Then I suddenly see two women

approaching my house.

It was Agnetha and her friend.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

My greatest idol, the one who

I'm in love with, knocked on my door.

She wanted to know

how I was feeling after the accident.

I was really, really nervous.

I had worked so hard

to get close to Agnetha.

And now, she was the one who came to me.

I still cannot believe it.

According to Gert, Agnetha Fltskog

came back later that night.

That's when they got

more acquainted with each other.

We had an amazing time.

I could never have imagined that

I was going to have an evening like that.

Agnetha was the first woman

I had sex with.

It was magical.

It was like a force from within.

I was so happy to have spent

my first night with my idol.

I fell in madly love with her.

It was incredible.

It's an incredible dream story,

to be honest.

You could never have predicted that

when you were 16.

You might hope or fantasize.

A lot of people do.

You don't make things like that up,

do you?

You're not making this up?

You have to tie a lot of threads together

to make up a story like that.

A very special one.

-Yes. Is it strange?

-Not strange but rare, maybe. Isn't it?

You're a psychologist,

do you find it strange?

Yes, well, it's rare.

It's something you wouldn't expect.

What I find insulting is that when

you say something no one believes you.

People don't believe

the things you're telling me.

He claims he slept with Agnetha.

He had sex with her. I doubt it.

But there was one thing

that was strange for me.

When I was reading the magazines,

I saw a picture of that man and Agnetha.

In this photo,

I'm sitting next to Agnetha.

We're sitting here, holding hands

and in love. You can tell we are.

Wow. Wow.

She looks very happy.

That's not her ABBAtar, is it?

He claims they were sitting

on a couch, hand in hand.

You can see them on the couch,

but not hand in hand.

They are sitting close, so they must've

been more than celebrity and stalker.

There must have been

some kind of connection.

Otherwise you won't sit

that close together on the couch.

Do you have more photos of the two of you?

Of us together? Not really.

But this one is important.

I have seen so many photos

of people with their arms around stars.

I have no idea what that photo means.

It means there was a photo taken.

Fine. There are two people.

One of them appears to be Agnetha.

Where are you?

My mom took this picture of us

in my house, on my birthday.

I have these floral wallpapers

in my house.

I've been to that cabin and have seen

the photos of her in that couch.

The same couch I and Gert sat in

So, she's been to his home

and it's absolutely incredible.

When you see the photo, you don't

really think that they're crazy in love.

They're sitting in the couch together,

but something about the photo is off.

This is the proof I have

of us having a good relationship.

Unbelievable.

I couldn't believe it.

It was a fairytale.

We met up several times a week.

We went for walks and had organic meals.

We drove to the city

and did smaller excursions.

We did things together

just like any other couple.

We enjoyed the nature here.

She said that she had started to like me

and was falling in love.

It was nice to sit here with her,

having a cinnamon bun.

I thought Agnetha would fall in love

with an artist or something else.

Not with me.

I was a regular warehouse worker.

But that's what happened.

Agnetha, she was, at that stage,

quite reclusive.

It was a time

where she basically was vulnerable.

There were a lot of negative things

in her life.

And I feel that that retreatment made her

more vulnerable to certain types.

Did the media, press or friends know

that she had that relationship with you?

No, we were really careful about

not being caught on camera together.

-Why?

-Why? Yeah

I think Agnetha thought

it was a bit too exciting.

We went into town

and had dinner in the evenings

or went to Stockholm,

picked up sushi or something.

But she mostly stayed in the car.

When you're in love and with that person,

you can be afraid of losing

the one you love.

Then you'll get jealous.

Gert and Agnetha once went to the cinema

to watch Colin Nutley's "Under the Sun."

We sat next to each other

watching the movie.

Agnetha felt that I stared too much

at Helena Bergstrm.

We had a huge fight in the car.

I explained to her

that she's the only one I want.

It didn't help.

After nearly a year together,

she broke up with me.

I wrote her letters where I explained

that I only loved her.

One beautiful day, Agnetha called me

and wanted to talk by the church in Eker.

Agnetha called me.

"I'll be by the church

at half past seven."

"Will you be there?"

"Yes, I will. I want to talk with you."

"If you don't come,

we'll never talk again."

She didn't go out, but waved at me

to come over to her car.

We didn't have to say anything.

She gave me a hug

and said that she had missed me.

Yes, it's sad.

We went to the west coast for a holiday.

Skummeslvsstrand is a special place.

We walked all this way here.

And then we stood there,

and listened to the water and the sound

of the waves and had a good time.

Agnetha started a serious conversation

about our relationship,

and if we could live together.

In the fall '97, I decided

to move permanently to Sweden.

For me, there was only one person.

One woman.

I used to tell her,

"You must never leave me."

He asked me if he could work for me.

We're an agency for warehouse workers

around Stockholm.

I was impressed because he had come

from the Netherlands to Sweden,

and that he spoke Swedish.

He told me that it was love

that brought him to Sweden.

His girlfriend's name was Agnetha

and she lived in Stockholm.

I promised Agnetha not to talk about us.

I said that I have a girlfriend

and her name is Agnetha, and that's all.

I didn't find it strange.

I understood. Because love

Love can push any man incredibly far.

I got the job, and I really enjoyed it.

He did well. He got to work on time,

he was never sick. He was great.

I felt so happy in Sweden, but since

we kept the relationship to ourselves,

it didn't feel right.

Gert was supposed

to get hired by a client.

They interviewed him.

After that, the client calls me and says:

"I can't hire Gert."

I was surprised. "Why not?"

"He's a liar."

"A liar?" "He says he's in a relationship

with Agnetha Fltskog."

It was unbelievable.

I can imagine her being his idol, but

But that Agnetha Fltskog and Gert

would meet

and fall in love

That's I couldn't see it.

I don't think anyone could.

You don't hear those stories every day.

I knew where he lived. I had his address.

So I started to examine it.

It was very unlikely

that they would be together.

I was more concerned about him

moving here to be able to stalk her.

I called him up to my office

and told him

that he can't say things like that.

"But I am in a relationship with her."

That can't be real.

Agnetha is an icon in Sweden.

She's famous, and you're from the

Netherlands and work in a warehouse.

"I struggle to believe this, Gert."

I called the police and asked them,

"Do you know if Agnetha Fltskog

is stalked by anyone?"

They said no.

I guess they wouldn't have told me

even if she was.

I can understand why people didn't

believe me, because it was a bit odd.

That made me sad,

so sad that I stayed home from work.

He got angry with me.

"Why are you lying?"

That's what I was thinking.

Why would he lie about things like this?

I was told in a letter

that he was in a relationship with

Agnetha.

That it was a secret

that I couldn't tell anyone.

I was told that if I wanted

to make a trip to Sweden,

I would get to meet Agnetha, and he said

Frida was my big idol.

Maybe something could be arranged.

I suspected something wasn't quite right.

I thought it was some sort of fantasy

that he was trying to involve me in.

I ignored that letter and didn't reply.

I moved on with my life.

But I've often thought, "If I had gone,

what would have happened?"

Let's see

Let's seeThis one

She missed the tenderness and there

has to be a way for us to continue.

She wrote me a letter.

"Thank you for all the love

you've shown me."

"Thanks for not giving up

on looking for me."

Gert showed me a letter

Agnetha Fltskog had given him.

She had written, "Thanks for

not giving up on looking for me."

She thanked him for his strong devotion.

Here October 12, 1998.

"Hello, Gert. I have wanted to leave

everything at home so many times."

"To run up to you to tell you"

"how much I love you.

I miss you incredibly much."

The letters I have from her

They're not many,

but she wrote letters. That's the truth.

If these go missing

That would destroy me.

I would never be able to handle that.

I look after these.

Do you think

that Agnetha wrote these letters?

Or is there anything

that speaks against it?

I think they're real.

I'm almost sure of it.

What do you think? Have you heard

anything suggesting they're not?

I wanted to take the next step,

to live together.

But she pushed the brakes all the time.

Everything was on her conditions.

She snuck out to my house.

I wasn't allowed to go to hers.

FLTSKOG'S SECRE50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY

Agnetha was turning 50

and was having a big party.

I wasn't invited to the party.

That was quite sad for me.

One evening after work,

I was at Agnetha's place.

She said that she had

something important to tell me.

She didn't want to see me anymore,

so she broke up with me.

That was hard to take in.

At that time, Bram died.

My beloved turtle.

I lost the two that I loved the most

in the whole world.

Thank you.

I'm still trying to understand

her reasons.

Why she broke up with me.

I haven't really received an answer

to that question.

You don't think the reason can be

that she wasn't in love with you anymore?

I don't think so. To first be in love,

so in love that she once wrote

that our relationship just kept growing,

and then choose to end it

two months later

I don't understand that.

It's impossible.

In my experience I don't

know any stalker that would accept no.

For them it's their right,

and their entitlement,

to behave in the way that they are.

It's all about them.

They won't accept no, and it's difficult

to take them off this pathway.

They don't want to stop this behavior.

They want to carry on.

It was hard to understand

that it was completely over.

I wrote a letter to her and asked her

to meet me at Eker Church.

Just like she told me

over the phone earlier.

I went there and waited,

but she never showed up.

Unfortunately.

I did my best too, of course,

and she's told me that

a few times as well.

That she liked that I never gave up

looking for her,

and eventually it worked, and then

she slammed the door in my face.

I couldn't understand or accept

that she broke up with me.

I got angry.

She has said that she was glad

that I never gave up looking for her.

So I continue writing letters to her.

Eventually, I received a response.

This is a letter that should

really be burned, not read.

I got very upset from reading this letter.

I wrote many letters

in response to this letter.

-How many letters?

-Well

By 1999, around 350 letters.

But I never got a response from her.

This is a letter that was referred to

in the trial.

It's dated January 18, 2000.

"Gert, the reason why I'm writing you is

that I want to be left alone."

"I stick by my decision.

There's no hope for us together."

"I'm asking you now to respect this

on every level."

"I don't want any more letters

or anything else. Agnetha."

Now he knows that she's saying no.

There's no imagination, there's no

"were going to be together."

It's an absolute rejection.

He turns into the rejected and vengeful.

That's when she starts to become

concerned for her safety.

Over many years he's been obsessing

and fantasizing

about his potential of meeting Agnetha

and this relationship.

It then overlaps that stalking,

from strangers stalking

into ex-intimate partner stalking.

That's when there is fear of violence.

They are the most dangerous

type of stalker.

Gert starts to write

a huge amount of letters to Agnetha.

He tries to contact her children,

her friends, her neighbors.

He makes her life a living hell.

This is what it says

in Agnetha's statement:

"From '97 to '99, the suspect wrote"

"around 300 letters to Fltskog."

"He called very often,

around one to three times a day."

"He also followed Fltskog

wherever she went."

Mm

Is that how it was?

I have written a lot of letters to her

in an attempt for us to get back together.

That's correct.

But that I followed her is not correct.

-I'll continue.

-Mm.

She's being stalked,

like so many other women

who have ended a relationship.

This is a controlling behavior,

which men use in order to harass women.

"From '97 to September '99,"

"the suspect has also surveyed places

which Fltskog visited,"

"followed her car, stood in places

where she would often go for walks"

-"for example, Eker Church"

-That was maybe one time.

-"Skytteholm"

-Mm.

Being stalked is being hunted.

You feel like a sitting duck.

You are constantly on edge,

waiting for the next thing to happen.

And your space is closed down.

"Her life has become

incredibly restricted."

"She doesn't dare to go outside"

"without being accompanied

by her neighbor."

But I wrote that I want to speak with her,

in this in this letter.

He says that he loves her,

and everything else,

but if someone's telling you not do

something and they want it to stop,

but you continue, how do you see that

as love? It's a crime.

Can you understand, when you hear this,

that she was afraid?

No.

The fantasies in their head

becomes their reality.

In their world,

what they believe to be true.

In Gert's case he believes that they are

in love and can be together.

Good afternoon,

and a very warm welcome to you all.

Now things are as usual. My light burns

for each and every one of you.

For the last months,

he's been counting down the days.

He writes that something big

is about to happen.

On Christmas Eve '99, I went to her

house, despite not being allowed to.

Me going there was meant to be.

It was destiny.

I entered her property

with all the security equipment.

I know it wasn't right,

maybe it was stupid

but I really wanted to see her.

This time it was me coming to her.

Why can't I talk to her?

I couldn't understand it.

I would never want to hurt her.

I was always so kind to her.

And then I was arrested by the police

who said she feared for her life.

Gert was given so many different

indications. "Leave her alone."

Who knows what would've happened

if she hadn't called the police

and gotten him arrested?

ARRESTED AT AGNETHA'S

He has stalked and harassed her

for more than a year,

but when the trial started

at Solna Tingsrtt,

the besieged singer did not have

to meet her fanatical admirer.

I was here

because I was accused of harassment.

But I didn't exactly feel

like I was guilty of that.

I knew for certain

that I had not done anything wrong.

It's a crime of mental terror.

That's what stalking is.

It's to destroy the victim's mind,

to gain that power over them.

"I'm obsessed with her"

He explained to the court that

Agnetha Fltskog means everything to him.

He denies that he ever hurt

or offended her.

Gert knows exactly what he did.

ABBA-Agnetha tells of the terror:

"I fear for my life"

It boosted his ego that here is this

woman who is a big celebrity,

her name is known all over the world,

and he is controlling her.

He's making her fearful.

And now he has all this power.

And that's what it's about.

When Agnetha Fltskog stepped into

the court room this morning,

the 34-year-old Dutchman

had been taken to another room.

That was something that Agnetha arranged,

so she wouldn't have to see me

in the court room.

Why, I still don't know.

This whole affair, with the stalker,

had a profound effect on Agnetha.

It confirmed all the fears she had

when she was considering

She decided to step out of the limelight

to get away from intrusive fans.

"I want a normal life again"

And then that exact thing happens.

A doctor that examined him

said that he had Paranoia erotica,

or De Clerambault Syndrome,

as it's also known.

You believe you're loved

by another person,

despite all facts pointing

to the opposite.

I had to see a forensic psychologist.

He said: "Don't imagine that I believe

that you've had a relationship"

"with Agnetha, because I really don't."

That's what he said.

"You're stupid to say such a thing,

because no one will believe you."

In less than five minutes,

I'd been labeled.

-That is very irritating. That hurts, yes.

-It hurts.

For over a year,

Gert van der Graaf stalked and harassed

the former ABBA star.

Today he was convicted of harassment

and will be deported

and can't return for two years.

The verdict means that Agnetha's tormentor

will return to Holland,

and she can breathe easier.

Gert was convicted.

His punishment was to be deported

and he was given a restraining order.

My experience with stalking cases

and victims It's a piece of paper.

It means little or nothing to the stalker.

Gert's punishment wasn't

strong enough to make him stop.

It's no surprise to me

that he continues his behavior.

He goes to Sweden.

He continues to write to her.

And he's spotted multiple times

close to where she lives.

I had two weeks to leave Sweden.

I had to leave all of this

that made me so happy.

I returned to Waddinxveen.

I didn't have a house there.

I lived with my mom, temporarily.

After the stalking scandal,

Gert van der Graaf was ostracized

by ABBA fans throughout Europe.

They wanted to defend Agnetha.

They sent him threatening letters,

called him,

and some even threatened to k*ll him.

Then came the big scoop, the b*mb.

Look! You really were dating her?

They did have a relationship. Gert

and Agnetha Fltskog had a relationship.

It's here, in black and white,

and Agnetha Fltskog confirms it all, too.

They had a secret affair

Agnetha tells about the stalker

It's incomprehensible.

He, the guy that saw his crush

on TV when he was eight years old.

He now had a relationship

with that same crush.

It's crazy when you think about it.

What are the odds?

That doesn't happen in real life.

It really doesn't happen.

"We were both very sad"

How can he

I can't wrap my mind around it.

You're telling me

Again, I'm processing it.

Really, my god. She could have had

any man she wanted. Why him?

I think she needed something different.

Maybe she needed

a chubby, Dutch warehouse worker.

Here at last, was somebody here for her.

Only here for her.

Who didn't care about anybody else,

who had eyes only for her.

Gert tells about the affair

with the ABBA star

He wore her down. She said

that she couldn't resist him anymore.

It was so intense. She used those words.

"I will never give up"

Even though they had a relationship

there is no blame to be placed on her.

The blame is placed on Gert.

Agnetha refused to even mention him

or give a comment on their relationship.

This man who stalked you,

is he still bothering you?

I don't know if I can talk about that.

I don't think I will.

Due to security reasons, I can't.

He was once lucky to have that

beautiful woman, that star,

but now the love is gone,

but what's tragic is

Agnetha is famous, so she's everywhere.

ABBA has never left us.

The music is a part of us.

I see her almost every day,

and ABBA is topical again.

I see her on stage and read the papers.

Of course I miss her.

He will never get rid of

that image in his life, of Agnetha.

The situation is impossible.

It's a trap. He's trapped.

It must be a hell.

I can imagine it's hard for you

to let it go?

It's been many years now.

It keeps spinning around in my head.

It comes back, again and again.

It was a period in your life

that was exceptional and beautiful.

It might be something I can never give up,

not until my last breath.

It may sound strange, but

As Agnetha said

She said she was glad

that I never stopped looking for her.

-And therefore, you'll never stop.

-Then I never stop.

-Okay. Done.

-Thank you for the talk.

You're welcome.

Can you really love somebody

who is not answering your love?

Why not?

Loving somebody who's not answering

your love is a way of life.

It could be fulfilling something

in your life, maybe.

Particularly if you don't have

anything else in your life.

I'm definitely not religious,

but sometimes I turn to God for strength.

It's possible that there's something

out there that can

hopefully

help me deal with my issues.

"Hi, Agnetha. I hope you're well."

"It's nice here in Coevorden."

"I still work at the warehouse."

"I have many great colleagues."

"Sometimes we have a beer

on the weekends."

Some maintenance is needed, huh?

-You're not much of a gardener.

-No, I never have been.

"My neighbor Vigent came over today."

This is all weeds, and this is weeds.

You can just

"'We have to fix your garden, Gert',

he said."

And because you're not doing anything

about it, I'm getting very annoyed.

So that's why I do it for you.

"I don't know if I should tell you this,"

"but I've been chatting with a girl

a few times. Her name is Berna."

"We're just friends, but I think she

would like us to be more than friends."

"I will never send this letter."

"And you will never read it.

It's for the best."

"Lots of love, Gert."

People often think

that stalking is isolated cases.

It's celebrities, it's royalties,

it's politicians who are stalked.

Anyone can be a victim of stalking.

And anyone can be a stalker.

Stalking is not an isolated problem.

In Sweden over 600.000 people

have claimed to have been stalked.

Even more here in the United States.

The victim never gets over being stalked,

they've lost that sense of safety

in the world.

My advice for anyone being stalked

is to keep a diary.

Take pictures, alert the authorities.

Let your friends and family know.

What kind of advice do you

have for the stalkers?

I don't think they'd recognize the advice.

They wouldn't recognize they're a stalker.

AGNETHA DID NOT WISH TO

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