01x14 - Have An Evil Day (Part 1)

[bunniefuu]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

BATMAN: Greetings, Bat-fans.

This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too: Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The New
Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our
never-ending battle

of good versus evil.

ROBIN: Ride with us as we chase
the greatest array of villains

the world has ever seen,

proving that crime
does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for
thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me: Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too: Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super
New Adventures of--

BATMAN: Batman.

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

MAN: Ah, it is
just as I expected.

The perfect place
from which to operate.

But it does need
a little something

to make it more homey.

That's better.

Now I can get
down to business.

Who are the four
vilest villains

the planet Earth has to offer?

[CHUCKLING]

The Penguin. Perfect.

Ah, Clayface.

His talents will be useful.

The Joker and Catwoman.

Sometimes they
can be careless,

but still an excellent choice.

I am pleased.

With their help,
Batman and Robin

should cease to be a problem.

[MEOWING]

What is this place?

[CHUCKLING]

I must be dreaming.

This is a nightmare

if you're in it, Penguin.

Silence.

I am Zarbor,

and I have come from another
dimension called Ergo

to make the four of you
more rich and powerful

than you ever dreamed possible.

But there are two obstacles
that stand in our way:

Batman and Robin.

And it will be your job

to remove the Dynamic Duo.

[♪♪♪]

[CHUCKLING]

Are you some kind of weirdo

or what, my friend?

If this is a joke,
it isn't funny.

I assure you, Joker,

this is not a joke.

I am deadly serious.

Enough of these games, Zarbor.

[MEOWING]

Get us down from
here and let us see

what you really look like.

You have spirit, Catwoman.

I like that.

Request granted.

What are we doing here

and what do you want
with us, Zarbor?

Are you ready to
talk business?

I want you to detain
Batman and Robin

and that pesky Bat-Mite,

who also comes
from my dimension.

Batman and Robin are zero.

I can handle them myself.

[CHUCKLES]

Sure you can, Joker.

That's why you were in jail.

You're both fools.

If anyone can handle the
Caped Crusaders, I can.

Silence, all of you.

I will not tolerate failure.

Do you understand that?

Yes, Zarbor.

Then, as you earthlings say,

shall we shake on it?

[♪♪♪]

That puts me up
by a point, Bruce.

I've still got time, d*ck.

Twenty seconds left.

Yes, but I've got the ball.

Not any more.

Five seconds left.

It looks goo--

Tough luck, Bruce. I won.

That ball was going in,
d*ck. If Bat-Mite hadn't--

You call, Brucie-boy?

Bat-Mite, have you
ever been slam-dunked?

[ALARM BEEPING]
The Bat-Signal.

BRUCE: The commissioner.
Let's move.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, wait for me, guys.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[PANTING] I guess I-I'm
getting too old for this stuff.

[BRAKES SCREECH]

We have a real mystery on
our hands, Caped Crusaders.

The Joker and Catwoman
have disappeared

from the Gotham
City Penitentiary.

Disappeared? You
mean escaped? No.

I mean they disappeared
into thin air.

Cell doors were locked,
window bars untouched.

Holy Houdini. How
is that possible?

That's what I want
you two to find out.

We'll get right on
it, commissioner.

Let's go, Robin.

D-d-don't tell me I just...

missed 'em, commissioner.

You just missed them, Bat-Mite.

I'm-- I'm really out of shape.

The Dynamic Duo and
that pesky Bat-Mite

are headed for the
Joker's hideout,

and that is where
you will trap them.

I will not fail.

Nor I.

Me neither.

[CHUCKLES] I do not know

the meaning of failure.

Excellent.

Then I'll get you on your way.

[CHUCKLING]

With the Dynamic Duo and
Bat-Mite out of the way,

there is no danger now

of my identity
being discovered.

Now I must get to work
on those nuclear plants.

Soon Zarbor will rule Ergo.

[♪♪♪]

[CHUCKLING]

All right, my fellow workers,

here is my plan.

Your plan?

Who made you boss

of this chicken
outfit, Penguin?

The most brilliant is
normally the leader.

And obviously...

[CHUCKLES]

I am the smartest
in this foul crew.

You have nothing but that
ridiculous umbrella, Penguin,

while I have the
power to change.

JOKER: Ha-ha!

It's definitely

an improvement, Clayface.

Meow! Brute strength won't
collar Batman and Robin,

Clayface.

We have to use the
cunning of a cat.

This is my house,
and in my house

I am the boss.

[GROWLING]

All right, Joker,
we're listening.

What's your plan?

Ha-ha!

This is my plan.

That is the silliest plan

I've ever--

seeeeeeeeeen!

What makes you so
sure the Dynamic Duo

will stand on that trapdoor?

Because there is more...

than one.

You and I are gonna make
a great team, Joker.

You handsome hunk
of clown, you.

[MEOWING]

Ha-ha-ha-ha! You
really think so?

Meow! On second thought,
I'd rather work alone.

Now, Caped Crusaders,

I await your arrival.

[GIGGLING]

[ENGINE REVVING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Ready, Robin?

Ready.

Activate Batapults.

Let's go.

Whew. You guys aren't hidin'
from old Bat-Mite, are ya?

[PANTING]

Ah, that's what I figured.

h*-boy, I'm too
pooped to pop off.

Maybe I oughta start
takin' some more vitamins.

Soon, all of the
world's nuclear plants

will be mine.

Now, on to the next one.

A villain's work
is never done.

[♪♪♪]

JOKER: Ha-ha! That was
a dirty trick, Catwoman.

[PENGUIN CHUCKLES]

PENGUIN: And I don't
find your practical jokes

very funny, Joker.

CLAYFACE: Quiet, you fools.

Yes, how do you
know the Dynamic Duo

aren't already here?

I'm not as dumb as you look.

If Batman and Robin are here,

my heat sensor
will detect them.

Ha-ha!

They're in my Joke Room

in the south wing.

[CHUCKLES]

Knowing they're
here is one thing,

catching them is
another, Joker.

You take me for a fool?

That room is full
of trapdoors.

ROBIN: Holy high-rent
district, Batman.

There must be a million
rooms in this house.

But no sign of the Joker.

I have the sinking feeling
we're being set up, Robin.

This floor's full of trapdoors.

The door.

CLAYFACE: They're
heading for the door.

PENGUIN Your silly plan
isn't working, Joker.

They are still there.

Ha-ha! Then I'll spring

my funny little
surprise on them.

CATWOMAN: Meow! Gone.

[LAUGHS]

I told you I'm a genius.

Batman and Robin
are in the bag.

Holy bagged birds. What
do you think, Batman?

Solid steel, Boy Wonder.

No doors. No windows.

JOKER: Ha-ha!

Enjoying your accommodations,

Dynamic Dunces?

That little room

is absolutely escape-proof.

So stick around,
why don't you?

I'd like you to meet our host.

[LAUGHS]

[PENGUIN CHUCKLING]

[PENGUIN CHUCKLING]

PENGUIN: Are you
sure that cell

is escape-proof, Joker?

JOKER: Would I lie
to you, Penguin?

[JOKER CACKLING]

Those walls are solid steel.

A laser couldn't
cut through it.

A brilliant plan, Joker.

By the time the
Dynamic Duo are found,

we'll be rich.

[MEOWING]

[SNORING]

[ENGINE REVVING]

Yipes!

What happened? Where am
I? What--? What--? What--?

Oh, boy, after that nap, I
feel like a million bucks.

[COUGHING]

Make that a buck and a quarter.

Lasers won't do it, Robin.

This must be a
special kind of steel.

I'll try the Bat-roto.

Its supersonic-speed
titanium drill

should cut through
that with no problem.

Uh, a-anybody h-h-h-home?

H-h*-boy, this place
gives me the c-c-creeps.

What's that?

Lemme outta here.

I'm through the wall, Batman.

Good. Start moving up now, so
we'll come out beyond the house.

Right.

h*-boy, I'm glad to
be outta that place.

Now, if I could only
find Batman and Robin.

Yipes! A giant gopher.

Help. Help.

Bat-Mite, you ding-dong.
It's me, Robin.

Boy Wonder. Am I
glad to see you.

BATMAN: Robin, would
you mind getting...

off my back?

ROBIN: Holy piggyback.
Sorry, Batman.

BATMAN: Go ahead,
commissioner.

Batman, dozens of nuclear
plants have vanished

in the last hour and a half,

and the country will experience
the worst energy crisis

in history if
they're not recovered

within 12 hours.

How many plants are
left, commissioner?

Just one. The
largest in the world.

The offshore plant at bayside?

Right. You and Robin
get out there, and fast.

BATMAN: We're on our way.

Holy rip-offs, Batman.

Who could possibly
steal 10 nuclear plants?

I don't know, Robin,
but I have a hunch

our four villainous
friends are behind this.

B-Batman, w-what--?

Don't worry, Bat-Mite,
we won't sink.

BATMAN: Get ready, Robin.

ROBIN: Ready, Batman.

BATMAN: Retract the wheels.

Wheels retracted.

Activate Bat-skis. h*-boy.

ROBIN: Bat-skis activated.

All right!

ZARBOR: Oh, what a
perfectly lovely sight.

All that power.

Mine for the taking.

JOKER: Ha-ha!
Breaker, breaker.

Hey, good buddy, have
you got your ears on?

No sign of the local yokels,

smokey bears, or
county mounties.

What's your handle, Zarbor?

I have no idea what you're
talking about, Joker.

All that concerns me

is the status of
Batman and Robin.

JOKER: Ha-ha! We're eastbound,

and we're strutting
style and--

[CHUCKLES]

Answer him, Joker.

He doesn't want to hear all
that foolish CB gibberish.

Where are Batman and Robin?

Ten-four, Zarbor.

The Dynamic Duo are safe
and sound at my house

in an escape-proof cell.

I am pleased.

Your efforts will be rewarded.

Prepare to be teleported
back to the cave.

As you can see, I
have also been busy,

but the biggest plum
has yet to be plucked.

Make yourself at home.

I shall return shortly

and then we will
discuss your future.

Ta-ta.

Hey, there's a boat
comin' right at us.

It's Batman and Robin.

Ah, the biggest prize of all.

Holy boa constrictors. I
can't believe this, Batman.

That nuclear plant just shrunk
down to the size of a toy.

That sounds like
Electro's handiwork.

He's the only one I know
with those kinds of powers.

But that's impossible.
Electro's in prison.

Zarbor.

What did you say, Bat-Mite?

Zarbor is public enemy number
one in my dimension of Ergo.

He has the ability
to shrink things,

plus a lot more powers

that I'd rather not think about.

But what would he be
doing down here on Earth?

I dunno, unless...it's because
of that energy shortage

we're having on Ergo.

That's why he's shrinking
the nuclear plants:

to transport them
back to his dimension.

I see him.

He's in a submarine,

picking up the shrunken plant.

Holy sinking submarines.
It's diving, Batman.

BATMAN: I've got him on sonar.

Get the diving gear ready,
Robin. We'll need it.

So Batman and Robin are free.

I should have never trusted
those fool earthlings.

Now I'll shall have to take
care of the Dynamic Duo myself.

[CACKLING]

You comin', Bat-Mite?

Uh, you guys g-go ahead.

I...think I'd better stay
here and guard the Batmobile.

Holy chicken livers.

You're not afraid of
Zarbor, are you, Bat-Mite?

Me, afraid? Don't be
silly, Boy Wonder.

Bat-Mite is afraid of nothing.

Zarbor is a piece of cake.

Look at those hands.

R-r-rock s-s-teady.

Holy scaredy-cats.

I won't add insult to injury,
Bat-Mite. See ya later.

[WATER SPLASHING]

Where were you when
I needed you? Saps.

[♪♪♪]

My job here is now complete.

I have every major nuclear plant
in the world inside that case.

Ha, ha. But you couldn't have
done it if I-- I mean, we.

--hadn't captured
Batman and Robin.

Yes, of course.
Batman and Robin.

You're absolutely positive

they couldn't have
escaped from your cell?

I'd stake my reputation on it.

Your reputation's not a steak,
Joker. It's a hamburger.

[CHUCKLING]

You're all fools.
Look at this.

JOKER: Is this,
uh...some kinda joke?

I should have known
that as mere earthlings,

you would be incompetent.

I shall take care of
the Dynamic Duo myself.

Holy hanging bats.
What's going on?

I can't move.

So you are the legendary
Batman and Robin?

[CACKLES]

And I'd heard you were such
big, courageous crime-fighters.

But right now, you
look rather helpless.

You are Zarbor?

Ah, my reputation precedes me.

I suppose that little
runt Bat-Mite told you.

By stealing those
nuclear plants,

you've put a lot of
people in danger.

That's right.

The hospitals will run out of
emergency power in 12 hours.

Oh, you're breaking my heart.

What's our next move, Zarbor?

My next move is
to say goodbye.

Goodbye?

I'm taking the nuclear
plants back to Ergo.

Waa, waa, waa.

In other words, you're
pulling a double-cross.

Yes, but just think:

I've given you Batman
and Robin to play with.

Have an eeeevil day.

[CHUCKLES]

Like the man said,

we have Batman and Robin
to do with as we please.

[PENGUIN CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]